Summary: Kagome moved from Japan to America when she was in seventh grade. She stopped talking in eighth grade, and no one knows why. Now, in eleventh grade, Kagome will undergo a series of events that will dramatically change her...Kagome's POV.
Rated M. Why? Because my mind has many bad things in it and I don't know what I might use...
Dates Written:
June 3rd, 2006
June 4th, 2006
Did you know that today, June 6th of 2006 is Senior ditch day? Do you know why? Everyene who is graduating in '06 will ditch on the day that their number is the only number of the date. Today's date? 6-6-06.
The ditch day for my class? Class of '09 ditches on September 9th of 2009. I don't think that anyone will really care. In fact, I think that it'll be the school year after we graduate that we'll ditch. Damn. I was looking forward to having a Senior Ditch Day...
Of course, if the seniors ditched today, then they would be forbidden to go to certain events, including the graduation ceremony. Tough luck, huh?
Enough talk of Senior Ditch Day. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I was being a lazy ass (and a sadistic bitch), so I didn't come to the site to update. The only time I logged on recently was to write the next chapter.
Kagome's going to have a hard life ahead of her. I think I know what's going to happen, but it'll happen slowly now... I'm a manipulative sadistic bitch now, huh? Hah! Take that... uh... Mr. President!
Couldn't think of anyone else to insult, that was pathetic. Sorry.
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The Games We Play
Entry Twenty-Five: Blame the Brother
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He was absolutely devastated... Things weren't supposed to be like this. That decision wasn't supposed to come aruond and haunt him over ten years later. Things were supposed to get better, not worse. Bad decisions were supposed to vanish without explanaion, not stick around and make people suffer.
It was all his fault. But she wouldn't even know that her brother was to blame.
Hell, she didn't even know she had a brother. That wasn't the point, though.
The point was he made a stupid decision when he was young and he forgot about it. Now, over ten years later, it was coming back to bite him in the ass. No, that wasn't right. It was biting Kagome in the ass, he was perfectly fine other than the emotional distress.
He had really fucked up and now he regretted it.
Their father had died when he was young. Nearly everyone who knew Souta and Kagome knew that their dad was dead. Not many people knew why, though. Kagome wanted something and was acting like a child who wanted something they couldn't have. She threw a hissy fit and wouldn't speak to their father until he got it for her.
Their father was so concerned with trying to make her feel better that he hadn't paid enough attention to the road. They got in a car accident, and it killed him.
At the time, Souta was angered that Kagome had caused their father's death, yet she got away scratch-free. He instantly went online and signed onto a messenger. He createda room for demons and humans alike. The name of the room? 'My sister has the Shikon No Tama. Let me know if you want it.'
Demons and humans alike tried to contact him. The Shikon No Tama was the one jewel that everyone had wanted. It was the one thing that seemed to mean the world to any of the species.
After telling the first person, someone by the name of Naraku, he decided he should stop. He had gotten over his anger and he realized that it could mean losing his sister if they persued the use of her name.
It seemed that Naraku had done just that.
He had contacted Souta through phone in Japan. He said that he wanted to see Kagome Higurashi, and that he was a friend from school. That was almost a month after the incident had happened. Souta forgot about it entirely. When Souta asked for a name, he replied Naraku. Souta hung up, saying that Kagome Mikashi wasn't there.
Naraku obviously didn't buy it. It appeared as though all the did was get someone else to do his dirty work. Souta wasn't entirely sure, but it was his best and only guess for the time being.
And they had attacked Kagome.
- - -
Naraku laughed. His laugh was nothing that would make you want to see what was funny. It was deep, dangerous, and uninviting. It sounded as if he would slit your throat for interrupting whatever amused him.
"So, Andrew. You allowed that lowly mutt to hit you?" Naraku asked. Andrew looked up at him with anger, but he didn't move. Sure, Naraku wasn't a full demon himself, but he never let anyone know that. Not unless they required the knowledge to work for him. He appeared and had powers like any full demon.
Not like Inuyasha; you couldn't tell he was a half demon by glancing at him. You had to look hard to find the slightest traces of it.
"He turned into a full-blooded demon on me, sir." Andrew said, gritting his teeth. His bleeding cheek began to burn with the action, but he didn't stop. He only continued because it was the only way to keep from attacking Naraku and showing him that a full demon was better. Why bother letting Naraku live?
Naraku was going to give him Kagome. He believed that Naraku would escape and then kill Kagome so he couldn't have any more fun with her. That was the only reason to keep under control.
That fucking woman. She had gotten him into this mess to begin with. What made her so special that Inuyasha could turn around and be ready to call everything off? Well, he couldn't, but he would have if he held the authority. Then, on top of that, she had managed to trick the mutt into standing up for her. He scratched him!
Andrew hated Inuyasha more than he hated Naraku right now. He had pulled a complete 180 on them without warning. That bothered him.
So did the fact that Naraku was still laughing. What was funny to look at? The scratch? Andrew desperately wanted to show Naraku exactly why it wasn't funny. The pain of being scratched deeply in your face was enough on it's own. Add in Naraku's flavor of humiation, and you have pure rage and degregation in the mix.
"We have to get rid of Inuyasha." Andrew finally snapped. Naraku's eyes shot open and rage flashed across his mind. He would have gotten up to attack, but the blood on Andrew's face caught his eye. He had already been punished. How convenient, Naraku mused.
"Relax, Andrew. Just because he got you doesn't give us reason to kill him." Naraku said calmly.
"You don't understand, Naraku."
"I do understand, but I just have wits to keep me calm." Naraku cooley replied. Andrew grit his teeth again.
"No, you don't. Inuyasha knows where we are."
"Then we'll move." Naraku examined his claws and began to sharpen them on his metal desk. He watched Andrew's face twist in annoyance as he ground the sides of them against the cold metal.
"Inuyasha knows what we're after. He knows Kagome protects it. With that in mind, he'll tell his brother and then that demon will alert everyone else. We won't be able to get close enough." Andrew said in anxiety. Naraku hated to admit it, but this man had a point. Inuyasha might speak, and that would only raise hell for them once more.
"I'll call Kikyou and see what she can do." Naraku said.
"How will she help?" Andrew asked. Naraku mentally counted a point for himself. He loved knowing things that no one else was aware of.
"When we needed Kagome to back away from Inuyasha, I told Kikyou to seduce him. She wiggled her hips around him just enough to throw him into heat. Dog demons rarely go into heat- especially unmated ones -but Inuyasha went that way. When he realized that the woman he cared for would not be the one he would be able to fuck, he got mad." Naraku paused and examined his claws once more.
"So, he started chasing Kikyou to fuck her. Then she slept with me- that's how we know one another -to get at him. Apparently they have some history that I'm unaware of. That caused him to hate both her and Kagome... If only Kagome had let him stay mad at the two lookalikes... Would have been easier." Naraku finished.
"I see..."
"Now, leave, Andrew. I have a miko to fuck merciless and a hanyou to drive insane." Naraku waved his hand and the glint of his claws caught the small amount of light in the room. Andrew left.
- - -
Inuyasha paced back and forth, biting his lip and glancing at his claws. He had never gone full demon before. It gave you some interesting thoughts afterwards. Along with those thoughts came advantages that Inuyasha didn't realize he had.
He had been mad at Andrew. He turned into a full demon and struck his cheek. Story over, right? No, not at all. Now, as long as Andrew's would didn't heal- which Inuyasha could slow down the process of -Inuyasha could hear everything as if his ear were were the claw marks were.
It didn't make sense to him, but it would explain why he had started hearing voices around half an hour ago... So, with the extreme thoughtfulness that followed becoming demon and the extra knowledge he now had, he couldn't help but think of Kikyou.
He knew exactly what kind of history they had together. She didn't speak of it, because it would only bring shame to her. He didn't speak of it, because the idea of forever being the mate of Kikyou almost happening traumatized him. After what he had learned about her and Naraku, he was afraid to put any part of his body near hers.
Their history. It was a long one, and it got confusing. Often times when he thought about it, he would have to sit down and figure things out all over again. Life shouldn't confuse you like that.
There were a lot of things that life shouldn't do, but it did them anyway. Who decided that you could control life, anyway? Inuyasha shook those thoughts out of his head and focused on those of Kikyou, the woman he almost gave his entire destiny to. Considering that he lived as long as a demon, that was a long time. That would have been hell unless she allowed him to unmark her...
Inuyasha and Kikyou met when they were seven. They became close friends throughout the time. He had watched Kikyou's miko powers become stronger and stronger. After a while, he began to fear that, if they fought, she would purify him.
One day in the eighth grade, Kikyou was no longer able to use her miko powers. Inuyasha didn't understand and asked her why. After several times of asking, she said that she had messed around with her father's alcohol and had gotten drunk. She explained that underage drinking was agianst the rules that mikos abided by. She had lost her powers as a result of breaking those rules.
Inuyasha nodded, but she always smelled different after that. Only now did he realize that it was because of something else. When she got drunk, she had lost her virginity. He wasn't quite sure if she was aware of it, considering the fact that she made it sound like she was plastered.
Inuyasha then found her and her little sister praying over a marble. When he asked what it was, she replied that it was a jewel called the Shikon No Tama. It had the ability to grant any wish, and for that, people often wanted to get it. She said that, when she possessed miko powers, she protected it. Because she had lost those very powers, she could not.
It turned out she was praying for the jewel to go to another protector.
Inuyasha and Kikyou remained friends, but they gradually fell apart. Kikyou started becoming more and more of a high-class girl, rather than the sportyperson he had befriended.
Then Kagome moved to America and into his school. She resembled Kikyou in many ways, and Inuyasha found himself starting to harbor feelings towards her. Her silence was never a problem, because it was never uncomfortable. She made everyone around her, especially Inuyasha, feel welcome.
Until he had gone into heat during the wrong year and had ruined everything. He had started craving carnal pleasures. Knowing Kikyou and the stories he heard of in the locker room, he assumed she would give it to him. After all, it seemed like she got around. So, he sought her help to end the pain of wanting something all the time.
Kikyou had other plans in mind, however. She ended up getting caught fucking Naraku when he assumed they were going out. And just ten minutes ago, he found out that Naraku used her body quite often. She was a tool for sending Naraku over the edge and for sending Inuyasha into heat.
After imagining her and Naraku together, he no longer felt aroused by her seductive movements. It just... It reminded him of things he didn't want to imagine.
He would have to warn everyone before they tried to kill him. If he was going to die, then he was going to help others live. He was going to make people aware that they wanted something of Kagome's. He was going to make people aware that there was something wrong with these two.
He would do it, even if it meant he would die.
He owed a lot to Kagome for what he had done when he was desperate. He owed her even more for getting mad over her being kind to his brother and for holding a grudge too long. He owed her much more because she had truly forgiven him when he deserved to be treated like the half demon that he was.
With that in mind, he ran to her home to warn her family.
- - -
"Daddy? Why does Kagome have a blank look in her eye?" That was the sixtieth question Rin had asked. It wasn't like he was holding here against her will. He had one of the workers come to pick her up, but she refused to go. So, she stayed her and pestered him. Why? It was a mystery to him just as all a child's actions were a mystery to him.
"What blank look are you talking about, Rin?" He asked. It had been two days since Kagome started waking up. Just today, she had received an x-ray of each bone in her body. They were supposed to be getting the results on her CAT Scan, but it didn't appear as if that was going very fast.
"Kagome doesn't look like she remembers us. I don't think she rememebrs Mr. Bunny either." Rin added. Sesshoumaru smiled faintly and looked at her brown eyes. They were looking right back at him, but Kagome wasn't inside of them. If she was, she wasn't paying attention. She was just offering a blank stare with a confused pout.
"I have the results from the CAT Scan." The doctor said as he walked in. Sesshoumaru and Rin both turned their attention on him. He smiled at them and lit up a backlight for the projections. He clipped each set of picturse to it, creating a collage of Kagome's brain.
"These areas," he circled a few places with the cap of his pen "are where the memory lie. This is where vision is. This is emotion, this is behavior..." He paused and tapped his pen against a different image of a brain.
"This is a normal, healthy, human brain." He pointed to another in the same position, but different in content. "This is hers." He shook his head and looked at Sesshoumaru. When Sesshoumaru didn't return his gaze, he looked back at the negatives.
"These darkened areas... Well, that means that something is wrong there. It could be a tumor or it could be trapped fluid. I'm willing to bet on the latter of the two. No matter what it is, though, it's interfering with her brain's normal functions. She can't remember much, if she can remember anything at all. Her behaviors that she had before... Things like biting nails and smiling, well, this dark spot is getting in the way of her accessing that information. So... She can't do much of anything until she can get these to go away." The doctor explained.
"How can you tell what is there?" Sesshoumaru asked. The doctor looked at him and sighed.
"Well... There's no way for telling right now. I ran tests for cancer when I gave her the CAT Scan. The tests came back negative, and I thought they would. So, that leaves these dark spots to be a fluid of some sort or parts of the brain that have actually gone missing." He caught the panicked look in Sesshoumaru's eyes and instantly regretted saying that.
"Brain parts don't go missing unless there is a disease that eats away at the brain. Since she was healthy before she came in, your highest bet is simply fluid."
"How do you know she was healthy?" Sesshoumaru butted in. The doctor looked at him and smiled.
"I figured you should know, Sesshoumaru. The doctor was sick one day and you filled in for him. She wanted to be tested for pregnancy and STDs, and you did that. Along with that, some other tests were automatically run. One was a brain scan." The doctor explained. Sesshoumaru nodded. The accident caused him to forget that he was going to be a doctor. Why hadn't he remembered that?
Maybe something was in the way of him accessing memories?
"Alright... I will come back in a few days to see how she's doing." Sesshoumaru said. He straitened his shoulders and left the room, Rin tagging along. The doctor turned to face Kagome and shook his head.
"I don't know how you did it, girl... You should have died. Maybe your miko powers have helped you..." He murmured. He checked a few of her vital signs and then left the room. On the way out, he stroked the stuffed bunny's head and smiled.
Maybe there were things he just wasn't going to understand very easily...
- - -
Kagome moaned in pain. Her head was killing her. What was worse was that it felt as though someone were forcing liquids down her throat. She couldn't figure it out. Nothing was making sense to her, and she never remembered anything for very long.
For example, the silver-haired man that was next to her now. He claimed that he came to see her every day so far, but she couldn't remember that. When she woke up today, she wasn't able to remember a thing. She believed she was dead until the pain began to eat away at her body.
There was no pain in the afterlife, she knew that much.
Well, she assumed she knew. Everything in her mind told her that there couldn't possibly be pain after death. After all, you go through a lot of pain when you're alive. Why would they bother allowing it during death, where you'll be for an eternity?
Kagome looked at the silver-haired man. He had yet to tell her his name. But he was still here, after two times of a man in glasses coming in. She didn't know what either of them intended to do with her, but she was unable to ask.
That was another problem.
She couldn't speak. Every time she tried to get words out, they wouldn't come out. It bothered her to no end, and a wave of pain and humiliation would come each time she failed to speak. She didn't know why she felt so extraordinarily horrible over it. She couldn't speak, it was sad, true. But was it really sad enough for her to start getting teary-eyed and depressed?
Perhaps she forgot something that had to do with her voice.
"How are you feeling? Can you give me a look to know?" The silver-haired man asked. His voice was smooth, although shaky. Perhaps they were more than friends. She wouldn't know, though. Her mind wouldn't allow her to figure out what happened.
Why was this man asking her a question if she couldn't answer?
"I don't... feel good..." She managed to get out. The surprise on the man's face was obvious as he sat down in a chair and grasped her hand. The feeling of warmth around her hand was comforting and she realized how cold it had been before.
"Can you remember who you are?" He asked. She stared at him blankly. How the hell was she supposed to remember who she was? Didn't he know that her memory was as useful and a jar of decomposing snails? Obviously not, or else he wouldn't have been so stupid to ask. After more blank stares from her, he sighed.
"Well... Your memory... It's gone..." She could have told you that. "And we don't know how long until it comes back. But... I have to go for something... So I won't see you tomorrow." Like she would have remembered you that long anyway.
The man hugged her, and she felt surprised at his actions. She was under the impression that he would prefer to have the emotion of a slab of concrete rather than a normal person. Or someone with compassion in the least.
She watched as he left. She was confused. Why was he so... Why was he the only person she could speak around? Why did her stomach feel strange when he hugged her? Was her mind trying to tell her something relative to her past? She tried desperately to call out to him, but it wasn't any good. Her voice had left her once more.
Please... Whoever you are, please... Come back. You're the only person I can speak around... Kagome silently prayed. Slowly, she began to fall back into the realm of pain. The realm that toyed with her mind so much. The very realm that would make her forget that she ever saw this man and that he ever got her to speak on more than one occasion.
Just as her mind was about to be consumed by the realm, she had a final thought. Sesshoumaru... And, with that, she was stripped away from the world and taken to her realm. The heart monitor slowed and her body relaxed. The realm of pain had consumed her once more.
- - -
He hated this. He hated everything. He had to blame someone, but no one was suitable for it. Who was there to blame? He couldn't blame Kagome, because she was the victim. He couldn't blame himself because he didn't want to feel the guilt. He would blame his brother. It was his brother who had started the whole mess.
Or so he believed.
Perhaps if Inuyasha hadn't given in so easily to the carnal desires, Kagome would still be with them. If Inuyasha hadn't agreed to help Andrew, then perhaps Kagome would still know her own name. Sesshoumaru would survive if she didn't know his name. He could befriend her again.
But how to you become friends with someone who is oblivious to the fact that they are alive? She wasn't able to do much in her state. He blamed Inuyasha for that. He had to blame someone, and Inuyasha was the easiest target.
Now he had to go to Russia to help his father for a few weeks. He blamed Inuyasha for that one too. Inuyasha said that he didn't want to go and that Sesshoumaru needed to take his mind off a certain woman. Why did Sesshoumaru ever allow him to have a phone in his room? Their father believed his lies (among which, one claimed they were getting along great) and summoned Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru said he woudl leave as soon as he could, but he was just stalling for time. Now his father was getting impatient and he would have to go. He would tell his father what happened and how his heart changed towards humans (his father loved Inuyasha's human mother). If his father favored him, then perhaps Sesshoumaru would be allowed home after a few weeks.
Because there was no way in hell he could leave Kagome here while he spent a year with the businesses in Russia.
O o O o O o O o O o O
Where am I? Who are all these people? Why do they keep saying my name? Is this even my name? Who is this woman? Is she really my mother, like she claims? And this deep-voiced man, is he really my brother? How come I don't know anything. What happened? And... Who is the silver-haired emotionless man?
O o O o O o O o O o O
Next Chapter: Lost
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- Lonely Bird
