Chapter One: The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of the characters

A/N: This is my first fan fiction. Please be kind, for I do not respond well to criticism

"Oh my Rosie, all those days we were apart. I missed you more than a blind kid misses his Seeing Eye dog after the dog dies in a freak accident," Bernard said to his wife lovingly.

Rose sighed heavily and looked longingly at the man sitting across the beach. She could not help but think what a fine piece of meat that doctor Jack Shepard was, especially while he was wearing a pair of blue scrubs he just happened to find laying on the beach. She knew she could never have him, though. The only way would be to kill Bernard. And then Kate. But alas, she would leave all the killing to Michael.

John Locke strolled across the beach callously, looking for the next young victim.

BUT HARK!

Locke heard a voice calling him. He turned around, only to see the ghost of Boone floating in the sky! Ahh!

Then, Sawyer, wearing his sexy ripped T-shirt, stabbed Bernard! Rose's plan was working!

Mr. Eko, Africa's finest, then picked up Jack, who was wearing a "Frankie Says Relax" T-Shirt and began to run with him.

Charlie, high on heroin he made from tree sap, began to scream. But nobody believed him! (because he was high)

Eko then held Jack high to the gods and screamed that he had a vision.

So then Desmond and Claire looked longingly at each other and ate some Dharma KFC

TBC!