DISCLAIMER: I looked up the words 'not mine' and 'sue' and decided that they can't go into a logical sentence involving myself, RoyxEd, and a disclaimer...so...Fullmetal Alchemist is not my property, nor do I receive any profit from this nice little lapse of insanity. Thank you. (clicks off loudspeaker)

Yosei11: Update! Heh..it wasn't weird. You should hear my sister sometime...it scares me.

Shu-chan77901: Yeah, it's sad...but it'll get happier over time, promise. I'll keep going until I think this story's ready to end.

Nny2you: I promise I'll take away the bit of OOC-ness. I'm coming to you as a writer whose parents have never let her see the anime. Thank god for the manga...Oh, I forgot, alchemists don't believe in god XP.

Dark-spirit: Yeah, I plan on making them suffer painfully because of their unawareness to each other. No, just kidding..we'll see where this leads...(laughs wickedly)

Del'Cera Osirin: Oral reviews are the best...usually. It doesn't do anything to my review count, though, you know...And yes it does suck, it's a random lapse of insanity from a sick mind. Hehe...and thanks. DUH! I know it's different, you're the fool that says Roy's a smug bastard which he is NOT! Hahahaha...shoots flame alchemy Note from Del'Cera (Yes, I am actually writing this... we're at school together, and have a free period...): I never said that Roy was a smug bastard! I said he was a conceited asshole! There's a difference! (End of Del'Cera's rant.)

Whoa...Daikage-kun...ummmm HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ON MY COMPUTER! Yeah, whatever, Fal says that it hates you for sneaking on, bastard. Heh.

Note to people who have no idea what I'm talking about: Fal is what I've named my computer.

Review!


Chapter Three
Tourniquet of Tears
Rain Namida

There's no doubt anymore. I'm starting to love him. But it can't be right, what can a relationship be worth if one must hide it? Hiding...in the darkness of the sun, while the sun's obscured by the clouds of hate. Love, hate, care, loathing, what's the difference? Death, life, day, night, there is no difference. But then how...how can I be in love with him? I guess it might be because of how much the same and yet how different we are. But... He's so much like me, it scares me at times. The determination in those amber eyes...it's so empowering, and yet so beautiful, just like the rest of him. He reminds me of my younger brother more than myself... His name was Cairteal. Cairteal Mustang. When I was ten, and he was eight, he died... we were exploring the wooded areas around our mountainhouse when we found a small pool of water. Neither of us could swim. He had been too close to the rocks, and fell in. I—I watched him die. Several hours later, when Father found me, it was too late. When he brought 'Teal's body up from the bottom of that crystal-clear pond, his lips were blue, his face pale. In his hand was a small stone, the black one I always keep in my pocket, as well as a watermint leaf. For that's what his name means--meant. Watermint. He had blonde hair, like the rest of my family. Blonde hair, light brown eyes...he looked so much like Edward looks today... and yet, he's not. How could I ever blame Fullmetal for human transmutation? Why do I still fel obligated to hate him?

Why do I love him?


The thunder resounded and bounced around the darkened bedroom. The mirror in the corner of the room reflected the light and caused Roy to jump. Thunderstorms didn't scare him, but there was a part of him that would always be afraid of the light from the storms. It left him no place to hide, and so much like daytime, he had to retreat behind his outer facade. The mirror still glared harshly at him though, projecting a life of its own...

Then he saw it. The Rockbells leaned over a small Ishbalan child. So many children had died and been hurt...how many more would die because of him? Hearing his footsteps, the two doctors stood away from their patient, hands clasped, a single tear running down the female's face. Snapping out his white gloves, he shuddered inwardly and closed his eyes as he snapped the ignition material, causing flame alchemy to hungrily devour the flesh of innocent humans. He was unable to look away entirely, though, and he saw the sad and even betrayed look in the dying man's eyes. He would hear the screams of betrayal and hurt forever in these haunted reveries.

Turning away in self-loathing, still caught in the past, he blinked once, seeing the mirror. Smashing his arm against it, he didn't hear the crash or the shattering glass. He didn't feel the blood running steadily down his hand, and didn't feel anything but the immense mental pain he was yoked under. Backing away in horror, finally seeing what he had done, he fell into a corner, driving the shards of the mirror farther into his hand, not caring about anything but the souls still haunting him.

"Roy, are you..." the Elric's voice trailed off as he whispered the last word, "...alright...?" His voice cracked, his question already answered. "Bastard! What the hell were you trying to do? Smashing a freaking mirror isn't going to do anything," he growled, using the overbearing worry to hide his own insecurity and fear for Roy.

He sank to the floor next to the alchemist and began to cry in both self-hate and fear. Fear for Roy. His Roy.


He had to do something. This wasn't and couldn't be Roy. The Roy Mustang he knew didn't go around trying to kill himself, harm himself, or even cry. It...it was frightening. He had already lost one person he had loved in his life, he didn't...no, couldn't lose another. It would tear him apart.

Watching the blue blanket gently rising and falling over the muscular figure, Ed sat on the floor, brushing a single strand of black hair out of the Colonel's face. Before he realized it, he was talking to the sleeping man, crying quietly, wanting to have someone hold him but not wanting to show

"Roy, you bastard...what are you trying to do to yourself? You can't die, you have to become Furher," he whispered urgently, and then stopped to sigh quietly, his own mental barriers breaking down. "It would be hard to lose you, Roy...too hard. I wish I could tell you why, but I'm afraid to. It's not fair to you...it's not right." Looking troubled, the blonde-haired teenager finally whispered what he was dying to say. "It's just...it's just that I love you," he said, and then sighed in relief. Murmuring a bit more to Roy, he leaned back to the wall.

Curling up against the wall near the bed, he fell asleep without a second thought.


Had he really heard Edward say that? Listening to the quiet whispers from the teenager, he heard the quiet and ragged breaths coming out of him. Was Edward really crying?

"..not fair to you...not right."

He felt the quiet breaths of the teen gently brushing his face, but didn't open his eyes. Edward might as well think he was asleep.

"...it's just...it's just that I love you...I know, it's hard to imagine. I fell in love with you, bastard..." He heard the alchemist sniffle and rub his eyes and continue onward. "There. I've said it...fair now. We both know." He heard a soft thumb and a few minutes later, he cracked an eye open to see the small teenager asleep, his back against the wall.

"Sleep well, Edward..." he sighed, fighting the urge to place a hand on the blonde head. "I love you, too." Yawning widely and falling back to the pillow, he drifted to sleep with the knowledge that there was finally someone to trust, and someone at last who could love him in return.


Rubbing his eyes sleepily, the Colonel woke up to a stack of paperwork and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Mustang," Ed yawned, setting down a plate of toast and butter. "Sleep well?"

"Mmm," the man agreed, protectively glaring at Ed over his coffee, not even sure what he was answering to.

"Good. Hawkeye brought some paperwork by, so you can't slack off today." Ed grinned at this. The Colonel, actually working? Wow...

"I'll leave you up here to eat and get dressed, tell me when you're ready to come out. You've got to get out of your house, it's the holidays, after all," he said quietly, worried for the flame alchemist's sake. Yawning absently, Ed trekked downstairs, busy with his own thoughts.


Blushing, the alchemist stumbled across the hall, having the odd urge to start giggling like a schoolgirl. In front of him, walking down the carpeted stairs, was a certain Colonel, minus his shirt. Instead of giggling though, he gave an annoyed tone to the man instead.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, bastard?" He began the conversation with this, as he normally did by now.

"Going downstairs, Fullmetal, it's usually what people do after they get up in the mornings," Roy replied, a sleepy smirk on his face.

"Do they generally go without a shirt, too?" he asked, a bemused expression on his face. At Roy's suddenly-red face, Ed grinned. "Go get dressed, sleepy," he laughed, running into his room to giggle freely immediately afterward.


It was so much easier to pretend that nothing had ever happened last night. But now he was wondering too. Did the chibi actually mean it? Did Edward Elric actually love him?

He hoped so, pulling on a white shirt and dark blue pants; his off-duty wear might even attract some attention from the ladies...and maybe it could coax a couple hints out of Ed at the same time. Stepping out of his room, he was greeted with a nearly drooling Elric brother, though he pretended not to notice.

Regaining his composure, the blonde-haired chibi muttered something about being hungry and wandered downstairs, calling after him,

"Come on, bastard, we don't have all day!"

"Now, Halfmetal, is that a way to treat your commanding officer?"

"If the officer in question's dragged me through hell and back, it sure does!"

Laughing at that, Roy smirked and dragged Ed out the door.

"You wanted to go out, didn't you?"


The marketplace was busy, and the two split up to get the job done the fastest. Ironically, both of them had an ulterior motive for splitting up—it was the holidays, and neither had a gift for the other.

Roy paused uncharacteristically, noticing a few knives in a stall nearby. One was beautifully inlaid with different woods and onyx to form an alchemy symbol, not a circle. That in itself gave him an idea. Paying for the knife, he sheathed it and turned back to find Ed.

Ed, in his own way, was frustrated. He had seen men buying gifts for their girlfriends, and vice versa, but he had nothing to get for the Colonel. There was one thing he could do, but it wouldn't be the greatest gift. Wondering where Roy was, he ambled down the road until he found the Colonel surrounded by drooling girls and women professing their truest love...


A/N: I'm really sorry about this, my bleak mood has led to this kind of...erm...entertainment... Oh well.

It's a chapter, I'll do my best to update but seeing as Idon't have an Internet connection anywhere but school...sighs

O.o Updates coming soon!

-Anij K'helyr-Jinn