Prologue

I had never liked hospitals. Being surrounded by the ill and injured and dying made me feel faintly sick, as did the strong smell of antiseptics and hospital food hanging in the air. It was an odd predicament for a doctor's daughter, but it had been that way my entire life. As if a part of me had always known the worst night of my life would be spent pacing the corridors of Mystic Falls Hospital.

Somehow, the worst thing wasn't the smell or the noises or the awful burnt coffee. It was the look in the eyes of every doctor and nurse I passed. The weak, encouraging smiles they offered, the squeezes of my shoulder, the way the receptionists in the waiting areas fell silent when they saw me coming.

We had been there for two hours by the time my parents were admitted to the morgue – that was how long it had taken the Mystic Falls Police Department to drag their car from the creek. I had seen them briefly – they didn't much look like my parents anymore. Bodies decompose differently in water. I had expected them to look something like my Grandma had in her open casket, a little pale and cold to the touch but otherwise themselves. Instead they had been a mottled white colour with wrinkled hands and horrifically bloated. I had touched my father's hand, only to recoil at the slimy texture.

Two floors above, my twin sister lay in a hospital bed with our brother and aunt by her side. She breathed in a lot of water, but the doctors said she'd be fine. Somehow, she had managed to get out the car and drag herself onto the banks of the creek where she fell unconscious and was spotted by a driver who alerted the authorities. Everyone was calling it a miracle.

I broke off my established route as I reached the main reception. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as the two receptionists fell silent and watched me go by. Instead of crossing the room and going down the opposite corridor, I turned left out the main doors. They hummed as they swung open to let me pass and I stepped into the night air.

It was a quiet night in a quiet town and mine was the only car left in the visitor's lot. Two ambulances sat idle and dark in the ambulance bay outside the emergency room, their drivers missing. I wondered – which one had brought my sister, and which had brought my parents?

I shook the thought out of my head, and sank down onto a slightly damp wooden bench – it had been raining when we had arrived, but now it was nearly four in the morning and the skies were clear enough to see the stars. On the horizon was a thin strip of blue – the coming morning. The first of many days without our parents.

I dug through my pockets, turfing out empty sugar packets from endless cups of coffee and crumpled tissues onto the bench. I found my cigarettes wedged into one of my jean pockets, lit one up and stuck it between my lips. The smoke stung my smarting eyes and when I rubbed them they came away wet, though I wasn't aware of crying. Maybe I hadn't stopped. There had been choking sobs to begin with, when we had first heard the news. That gave way to quiet weeping and eventually became deep, shuddering breaths.

Somewhere nearby a cheerful tune played over and over again. I scowled in annoyance, glaring around the deserted parking lot before I realised the noise was coming from my old hoodie. I pulled out my cell phone, the screen flashing with the name Caroline. Of course, she'd know by now. Her Mom had been the one to break the news to us. I didn't want to answer her. I didn't want to speak to her. I didn't think I could take hearing her talk about what had happened. At the moment, the horror of the situation was confined to Mystic Falls Hospital. Outside its boundaries, it wasn't yet real.

That wouldn't last, though. Everyone we knew would find out the next day. There would be a funeral to arrange, condolences to receive. The news would spread like a disease and there would be no escape from empty sympathy and pitying looks. Even worse than that, and much closer at hand was that soon I would have to go upstairs and face what was left of my family. Elena would wake up and everything would have to be explained to her.

The most selfish act of my life happened on my worst night. The car Elena and I shared was parked sloppily in the closest lot. I got in.