Author's Rambling: I often wonder if Sesshoumaru's mother wouldn't really act like this. Considering the whole situation, she was probably some cold-hearted bitch (pardon the pun) Inutaishou picked up to have his child. But hey, Inu-Mama is a lot cooler like this. For some reason, Inutaishou and Achika's relationship when they were younger reminds me of InuYasha and Kagome...though I hate to compare Achika to the miko. You just know it's the classic angst where they throw insults at the other until they fall in love. Anyway, I have this idea that Sesshoumaru's mother was probably just a youkai. This is due to the fact that Sesshoumaru isn't nearly as strong as his father, no warlord would marry a woman more powerful than himself, and I don't think female youkai would really have a full demon form. There isn't much need for it, you know? A demon husband would protect his wife. But, I guess if Achika had a demonic form, it would be a pink dog. (laughs) Also, it could be the fact that Sesshoumaru is still a pup when compared to the omnipotent Inutaishou-sama. Do keep in mind that the first half of this chapter is all in good fun. Oi. I'm sorry I keep rambling on like this. Please forgive me.


Sesshoumaru was currently on the ground, his mother pelting his head with kisses, as he lay there practically frozen with shock.

"Aren't you glad to see me, my Sesshy-chan?" Achika piped, standing up after she was through with the first wave of kisses she would give her son. Swallowing as he stood as well, Sesshoumaru kept his cold face, though his mind was racing to figure out why this woman haunted him so.

"You...still walk among the living?" Blinking in confusion, his mother only continued her display of insanity. The woman appeared the same from when he last saw her. She still was very youthful, perhaps a gray hair or two hidden in her silver tresses that found themselves pulled into two ponytails at the base of her skull. The only thing different was she was wearing so much...pink. Sesshoumaru had to blink a few more times to clear his vision. She had returned to wearing a haori and hakama, though they were drastically altered with a feminine flair. Her entire outfit was dotted with pink flowers, her flowing sleeves possessing a deep magenta border with white petals of silk sewn into them. Although, her pant legs were tucked into boots that reached her knees, the shoe wear covered with pink jewels in the shape of hearts. She did wear armor though, with a similar style like Sesshoumaru's, the only difference being the bone that covered the upper part of her left and right shoulders had more hearts instead of spikes inserted in them. The main color of her breastplate was a brilliant emerald, and to complete such an ensemble there was a sash of another shade of pink wrapped around her waist, which knotted into a massive bow on her back. Of course, her pink moon and stripes were also part of her look. Although, she didn't have a "fluffy" like her son and husband, due to the fact that she was not a taiyoukai, simply a youkai. But with all the overly sweet pink she was wearing, she could probably frighten away most demons.

Miroku shook his head. It didn't seem possible. The monk was aware of Sesshoumaru and InuYasha's father, the great taiyoukai of the West, who was feared by anybody who had a head on his or her shoulders. So, it was no surprise that Sesshoumaru was the son of such a warlord. But this woman, standing only a few feet away from him, clad in enough pink to make a blind man gouge out his eyes, was the mother of...Sesshoumaru? There must have been some mistake. This had to be going against some law of genetics. It simply had to.

Yanking her son to her bosom, Achika shook her son about, kissing him more so.

"This is how you greet me after all these years! This is how you repay the woman who carried you around for nine friggin' months!" Her voice dipped in and out with each word. Her son didn't even flinch, still in a state of shock.

"Mother, I don't understand. Where—"

"Oh, it seems like just yesterday your father and I were housetraining you! You were so adorable, my Sesshy-chan. After all, it did take you quite the longest time for you to figure out you take a tinkle in the chamber pot, not your father's fluffy!" she squealed, as some snickers were heard from InuYasha and Miroku, while Kagome and Sango tried to keep a straight face. Sesshoumaru cleared his throat, managing to pull away from the woman.

"This isn't the time for—"

"And how have you been? I never know anymore. You don't write me or visit me or even talk to me for that matter. Such an ungrateful son you are."

"I thought that you—" Achika had hugged Sesshoumaru to her again.

"You've grown into such a fine young man. But you're still my Sesshy-chan. Do you still have those sweet little marks on your rear end? You know, some girl is going to find that the cutest thing," she cuddled him, as he slapped her hand out of the way from the back of his pants.

"Mother, I'm not your little boy anymore. Stop treating me like I'm a pup," he said calmly.

"Aw, are you embarrassed by me? I don't see why you should be. Or wait, maybe your embarrassed by your markings? I don't understand that either. When you were younger you used to run around the halls of the castle naked as a jaybird, laughing and giggling, not caring a bit about your exposed—" Now it was Achika's turn to be cut off be cut off not only by her son, but by the insane laughter of Sesshoumaru's brother.

"Listen, Mother, I don't really care for this." Sesshoumaru was trying to keep his temper with the woman; after all, she did bring him into this world, so he could try to cough up a little patience. But at the same time, he knew she had a thousand stories to tell InuYasha and his friends, along with anyone else who would listen. Although, it seemed the rumors about his mother being crazy were true. She was an absolute lunatic.

"You don't care that your mother loves you with all her heart and simply wants to dote upon her son? You didn't miss me, Sesshy-chan!" she screamed, huge tears flooding down her pink striped cheeks. Kagome arched a brow.

"The woman's bipolar," she whispered to InuYasha. "I have a few friends like this. It never turns out well."

"Bipolar? What's that?" the hanyou replied between laughs, clearly enjoying watching his brother get knocked down a few pegs by his overprotective mother.

"It means she has multiple personalities. If we're not careful we could say the wrong thing and—"

"You're whispering about me!" Achika turned to the hanyou and the miko, eyes slitting. "Why don't you just come out and say whatever you want! Afraid I might snap out at you, is that it?" she growled, letting go of her son to connect her fist with InuYasha's face, sending him to the ground. Sesshoumaru said nothing for the moment, glad that his mother was interested in something else.

"You're the spawn of that human woman who stole my hubby away! I should just kill you right on the spot or better yet..." she trailed off, kicking the poor hanyou in the groin. InuYasha wheezed, turning over on his side as both Miroku and Sesshoumaru shared a wince. "There. Now you won't be able to have your filthy bastard blood spread on to some pathetic human wench." Miroku, feeling a bit sorry for his friend, went to the demoness, taking her hand.

"Milady, a beauty such as yourself should not waste time on such things," he raised a brow. Sango practically gagged. Now this, this was disgusting. The monk was flirting with the mother of their hated enemy? How vile could this get?

"Ooo! You're a cute one, even if you are human!" Achika beamed, giving him the same hug treatment she gave her son; not that Miroku complained. Suddenly, his hands found themselves stroking her, making the woman's eyes widen. Sesshoumaru clenched his fist; perhaps he didn't like his mother arriving like this, but he most certainly didn't like having the monk's hands violating her personal space. Although, Achika seemed to know what she was doing as a smug look appeared on her face. What was this, the fifth mood in less than five minutes? Sango grimaced at Miroku's display. It was down right gross.

Easily prying the monk's hands away from her, Achika put her mouth to his ear, whispering something inaudible. No later than these words had been uttered, Miroku let go, his eyes wide with disgust, his mouth twisted in a grimace. His face was turning a hint of green, appearing as if he would throw up soon. Stumbling over to Sango, he rested his head on her shoulder.

"What did she tell you, Houshi-sama?" Sango asked, raising a brow.

"Her...her...age," he gasped, his eyes enlarging as he looked up to her, "Never again. Never again will I touch a woman without knowing how old she is. To think I ...when she was that old...shouldn't she be dead by now?" Sango sighed, shaking her head.

"It serves you right, and you know it." Achika was cackling now, sticking her tongue out at the houshi. Sesshoumaru let out a deep sigh. This was not going well. He did have to thank her though; she'd basically knocked down two of his enemies, at least for the time being. Suddenly, the demoness stuck her finger in Sesshoumaru's mouth, looking over his fangs.

"You haven't been eating things you shouldn't, right, Sesshy-chan?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, remember when you like to chew on your father's shoe? Don't you remember how you swallowed a good chunk of it?" Sesshoumaru let a light blush form on his cheeks.

"No, I don't remember any of these childish acts you speak of."

"You should. You were barfing up rubber and had a tummy ache for a whole week! It must be hard having such a delicate digestive track. Remember how the maids had their hands full cleaning your chamber pot—" Her son covered her mouth after this, struggling to deal with her constant embarrassing of him. His blush darkened as he heard the giggles from Kagome and Sango break loose. He was going to kill everyone after this. There wouldn't be any witnesses. Removing his hand from her mouth, she went on with her rambling. "Aw, poor baby. Don't blush. There's nothing wrong with having a sensitive stomach. It goes along with your sensitive heart," Achika patted his chest, smiling as Sesshoumaru fought down the urge to strangle the woman right then and there.

"I do not have emotions, if that's what you are suggesting," Sesshoumaru said coldly, his patience waning.

"Yes you do. They're locked up in there somewhere. You just have to rediscover them," she hugged him again, tighter this time, making the youkai gasp for air. By this time, InuYasha and Miroku were recovered from their 'wounds' and looking over at the mother and son. Both letting out a mocking "Awww" the two then went into fits of laughter. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes this time, pushing his mother away.

"Mother, it's nice to see you alive, but I have to ask you to leave now," Sesshoumaru ordered, yet this was not heard by the woman as she caught sight of Rin walking toward her son. Watching intently, she looked at the girl as she hugged her master's leg.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin wants to leave now. She's bored... Who is that?" Rin looked up at Achika, staring in confusion. Lip quivering, the demoness scooped up the girl in her arms, eyes shining.

"So...damn...cute!" she exclaimed, hugging the girl, scaring Rin half to death.

"Mother, please refrain from profanity around the child." Jaken then came bumbling in, out of breath.

"Milord, I'm sorry, but Rin left and... Sesshoumaru-sama's mother?" Jaken glanced at the demoness, when Achika let out a scream.

"Giant mutant booger! Dear gods, save me!" she then let her halberd, tied with a pink bow, form in her hands. This was about the only magic she could do, pardoning her healing abilities. Whacking Jaken several times, the demoness didn't stop till she was sure the toad was dead. Clapping came from InuYasha and company, still laughing. Achika bowed at this, letting her weapon disappear while her son shook her head.

"Do you always have to make a show of things?" Sesshoumaru asked, though his mother simply went off on another topic.

"When did you have a daughter? Wait...are you married? You didn't invite me to the wedding?" Achika screamed, already jumping to conclusions. Then her eyes lowered. "You wouldn't do that to your own mother...would you? Or...did you get hanky-panky out of wedlock again?" She had a dark look on her face, as if she would lash out at her son. "You know, you're not too old for me to take you over my knee," she "threatened," still holding on to Rin. Sesshoumaru mentally slapped himself as he heard even more laughter from InuYasha.

"Yeah, Sesshoumaru, you shouldn't get 'hanky-panky.' Troubling some young maiden...Tsk, tsk," InuYasha chided, as his brother frowned.

"Mother, I did not get married, nor did I sleep with a woman out of wedlock. I'm simply taking care of Rin for the moment. And besides, she is human," Sesshoumaru said calmly, considering how he had this uncontrollable desire to kill.

"Oh, I see. You know, you were about her age when you when through the stage of smearing food all in your hair and your body. Remembering when you smelt of raw fish for two weeks? Wasn't that just so adorable?" Already, she was back to her normal, or not so normal, self.

"Mother. Stop with the stories. Enough," he said through gritted teeth, "I am currently in the middle of a battle. Please leave," Sesshoumaru glared at her as she arched a brow.

"What is it with men and their swords? Kill this, slaughter that. Oi, if you ask me, it's no coincidence that swords are shaped like the male se—"

"Mother, leave, now. I'll take you back to the castle after this if you just go wait somewhere." Achika was then shivering at the mention of the castle.

"No...Please...don't," she said between staggered breaths.

"And why not? I am the Lord of the Western Lands, and I shall due what I please."

"He...He'll be there. That's the first place he'll look to find me...and you..." her whole body was trembling now, her eyes wide with fear as she tightened her grip on Rin.

"What are you talking about?" Sesshoumaru raised a suspicious eyebrow, not sure how to approach this mood swing. Huffing, InuYasha crossing his arms.

"Well, from what I can tell, I think your mother is just rambling nonsense. It doesn't sound like a threat."

"Of course you don't think it's a threat. He always favored you," Achika spoke no louder than a whisper; her posture slightly slouched as she shivered more.

"Who? Mother, I think you're exaggerating this. Whoever it is, this Sesshoumaru shall kill it," he said flatly, picking up his Tokijinn that had dropped when he had been hugged.

"No. I'm not. You cannot exaggerate when discussing him."

"If you aren't going to tell me, I'm just going to proceed in my killing of InuYasha." Achika swallowed hard, taking a deep breath.

"Inutaishou-sama has been resurrected."


"What?" Inutaishou and I yelled in unison. We'd just discovered the reason our parents had called us together. We were to be married.

"Father, surely I do not have to marry her?" Inutaishou shot me a look, and then glanced at his parents, giving them a hopeless look. "Think of what our children would look like! With her genetics the Western family is doomed."

"I beg your pardon," I glared, fisting my hands, "you don't look like you'd be a promising father." Our parents watched us for a while, letting us bicker it out for the moment.

"Honestly, Father, hear me out. This woman is a monster, a hag. She acts like she's on her cycle nonstop. First she's weepy, then she starts spewing out insults, and then she doesn't even respond to someone as attractive at me," Inutaishou stated, crossing his arms.

"Oh, my ass. Forgive me, milord," I said, looking up to Inutaishou's father, "but your son has no respect for women at all. You must have heard all about the relationships he's had with some of the young women in our court." My parents then gave me a look; it was wrong of me to just openly insult the Western Lord's son.

"Well, look at Miss 'I'm wallowing around in virginity' Ooo, I think I'm a saint now," Inutaishou rolled his eyes, his comments making me blush.

"How dare you! Have you no self-respect? ... I suppose not. You're no different than any of the other young lords here."

"Both of you listen. This marriage is assigned for political reasons. I am growing old, as well as my wife, and Inutaishou will soon take over. He will also need an heir. And, considering all the trouble my son has caused with most of the ladies here, not many parents of their daughters are going to wed my son. Though, I can't see why. He takes after me and not to mention there's a lot of respect that comes with the bride of the Western—" Inutaishou's mother jabbed her husband in the side.

"Dear, get on with it."

"Yes, right. Anyway, your parents too are aging and they need to make sure their daughter is with a respectable young man, Achika." I coughed here. Inutaishou ... respectable? What were my parents thinking? What were Inutaishou's parents thinking? Scratch that. Was anyone thinking at all!

"Mother, please," I looked to her, trying to appear as innocent as possible, "how am I to find the man of my dreams when I'm forced to marry this slob?"

"Achika, please. Understand that we're doing this for the greater good." Clearly, Inutaishou didn't want to marry me anymore than I wished to wed him as he still persisted with his parents.

"Father, can't I just be like the Northern Lord and have several wives? That would just solve the problem," Inutaishou suggested, as I raised an eyebrow. The nerve of that boy! Just openly talking like that! For some reason, I don't think his father minded. From what I could tell, the two were identical in thought process.

"Well, I do see your point and a man has to have his priorities in life—" This comment only gave Inutaishou's father another jab from his wife, harder this time.

"Dear, please. Inutaishou, you are to be wedded to Achika. End of story."

"Please, Daddy," I smiled at my father, "surely there is a way around this?"

"Achika, what's done is done. We will see you at dinner tonight." And with that, Inutaishou and I were dismissed from the Western Lord's office. Both of us were briskly walking down the hallway, ignoring the other's gaze.

"I hope you know I don't have any interest in you whatsoever," Inutaishou hissed, his pace slowing as he threw a look at me.

"Well, I'd rather marry Hirata than you."

"I'd love for you to do that. You two would be perfect for each other," he frowned, still walking the long hallway.

"Oh, I'm sure you'd love for me to do that. Then you could be with your little sluts," I glared. Normally, I tried to refrain from barbaric language. But this was indeed a barbarian I was talking to. I had to speak in terms he would understand.

"Excuse me, bitch?" he stopped here, looking me over, "did you say something?"

"Why, yes I did, you filthy son of a bitch," I quipped back. His eyes lowered. For a moment, we shared a growl, both of us wanting to attack the other. And I think we would have had each other's throats had it not been for the call of a maid telling us all to come to dinner. Our attention was then turned to proceeding to the dining hall. I made sure to step on his foot, and Inutaishou made it a point to push me into a wall. Never, I told myself, would I fall in love with him.