JENNIE

The fact that Lisa is being reasonable surprises me, and I'm able to relax a little bit. She crosses her legs and leans back on her palms. I'm not sure if I should bring up Seattle now, since she seems to be in an easy mood, or if I should wait.

But if I wait, who knows when she'll be ready to talk about it.

I glance at her, notice her green eyes watching me, and decide to ease into it. "Wendy wants to have a going-away party," I tell her and wait for her reaction.

"Where's she going? LSU?"

"No. It's for me," I explain, leaving out the small detail of telling them she's coming along to Seattle.

She gives me a look. "You told them you're moving?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you haven't decided yet, right?"

"Lisa, I'm going to Seattle."

She shrugs nonchalantly. "You still have some time to think about it."

"Anyway . . . what do you think about this party? She said it could be a dinner-party-type get-together at Jackson and Bambam's place instead of the frat house," I explain, but Lisa's still intoxicated and she doesn't seem to be listening to me. I look over my moving schedule for next week. I really hope Sandra calls me back soon about that apartment; otherwise I won't have a place to live when I get there, and I'll be stuck living out of a suitcase in some motel room. Ugh, motel rooms.

"No, we aren't going," she surprises me by saying.

I turn to her. "What? Why not? If it's a dinner it won't be so bad—no Truth or Dare or Suck and Go, you know?"

She chuckles and looks up at me with amusement clear on her face. "Suck and Blow, Jen."

"You know what I mean! It'll be the last time we—well, I see them, and they have sort of been my friends, in a really strange way." I don't want to think about the beginning of my "friendship" with the group.

"Let's just talk about it later. This shit is giving me a headache," she groans.

I sigh in defeat. I can tell by her tone that she's not going to continue the discussion.

"Come here." She sits back down on the mattress and opens her arms to me.

I close the planner and go to join her on the bed; as I stand between her legs, her hands move to my hips. She looks up at me with a crooked smile.

"Aren't you supposed to be mad at me or something?"

"I'm getting overwhelmed, Lisa," I admit.

"Overwhelmed by what?"

I throw up my arms. "Everything. Seattle, transferring to another campus, Jisoo leaving, your expulsion—"

"I lied," she says plainly and nuzzles her face into my stomach.

What now? "What?" I thread my fingers through her hair and lift her head to look up at me.

She shrugs. "I lied about the expulsion."

I take a step away from her; she tries to pull me back, but I don't allow it. "Why?"

"I don't know, Jennie," She says, and stands. "I was upset about you being outside with Rosé and all this Seattle shit."

My mouth drops. "So you told me you were expelled because you were pissed at me?"

"Yeah. Well, that and another reason."

"What other reason?"

She sighs. "You're going to be angry." Her eyes are still red, but she seems to be sobering up quickly.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Yeah, probably. But tell me."

"I thought you'd feel bad for me and come to Thailand."

I don't know what to think about her confession. I should be upset. I am upset. I'm pissed the hell off. The nerve of her, to try and guilt me into moving to Thailand with her. She should have just been honest from the start . . . but still I can't help but feel a little better about finding it out straight from her mouth instead of the usual way her lies are revealed.

She looks at me with questioning eyes. "Jennie . . . ?"

I look at her and almost smile. "Honestly, I'm just surprised you came clean before someone else told me."

"Me, too." She closes the distance between us, bringing her hand to my neck, the span of her fingers covering my jaw. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm an asshole."

I blow out a harsh breath, but love her touch. "That's a terrible defense."

"I'm not defending myself. I'm a dick. I know this, but I love you and I'm sick of all the shit. I knew you'd find out sooner or later anyway, especially with this dreadful trip with my father's family."

"So you told me because you knew I'd find out?"

"Yeah."

I pull my head back a little and look at her. "You would have kept it from me and still tried to force me to go to Thailand with you out of pity?"

"Basically . . ."

What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I want to tell her she's insane, that she's not my father and needs to stop trying to manipulate me, but instead I just stand there with my mouth open like a fool. "You can't try to force me into things by lying and manipulating me."

"I know it's fucked up," she says, with a look of worry in her green eyes. "I don't know why I am the way I am. I just don't want to lose you, and I'm desperate here."

I can tell by her expression that she really doesn't understand how she's been acting. "No, you don't know. Otherwise you wouldn't have lied."

Lisa puts her hands on my hips. "Jennie, I'm sorry, I really am. You have to admit that we're both getting much better at this relationship shit."

She's right; in a messed-up way we really are much better at communicating than we used to be. Far from a normal-functioning relationship, but normal has never been our thing.

"So, the marriage thing—that isn't going to make you come with me?"

My heart beats uncontrollably in my chest, and I'm sure she can hear it. But I say simply, "We'll talk about it when you're not drunk."

"I'm not that drunk."

I smile and pat her cheek. "Too drunk for that type of conversation."

She smiles and pulls me closer. "When will you be back from Sandpoint?"

"You're not coming?"

"I don't know."

"You said you would. We've never traveled together before."

"Seattle," she says, and I laugh.

"Actually, you showed up there uninvited, and left the next morning."

She runs a hand through my hair. "Technicalities."

"I really want you to come. Jisoo is moving soon." The thought of that alone pains me.

"So?" she asks, shaking her head.

"And your father would love it if you came, I'm sure."

"Oh, him. He's just upset with himself because they gave me a bullshit fine and put me on academic probation; the slightest fuckup and I'm done."

"Then why not transfer to the Seattle campus with me?"

"I can't hear the word 'Seattle' again tonight; I've had a long day and have a headache from hell now . . ." She kisses my forehead.

I snap my head back slightly, away from her. "You got drunk with my father and lied about being expelled—we're talking about Seattle if I want to," I say sharply.

She smiles. "And you wore those pants out after teasing me with them, and didn't answer my calls." She runs her thumb along my bottom lip.

"You don't need to call me that many times. It's suffocating. Nancy even called you a stalker," I say, but smile beneath her gentle touch.

"Did she, now?" She continues tracing the outline of my lips, and they part involuntarily.

"Yeah," I breathe.

"Hmm . . ."

"I know what you're doing." I reach down and remove her other hand from my hip, where her fingers have begun to slip below the waistband of my pants.

She smiles. "What's that?"

"You're trying to distract me so I won't be mad at you."

"How's that working for me?"

"Not well enough. Besides, my father is here, and there's no way I'm having sex with you when he's in the other room." I reach around and smack her playfully on the butt.

Which only makes her thrust herself against me a little. "Oh, you mean like when I fucked you right there"—she points to the bed—"while my mum was sleeping on the couch?" She thrusts gently against me again. "Or the time I fucked you in the bathroom at my father's, or the multiple times I fucked you while Karen, Jisoo, and my father were just down the hall?" She reaches down and touches my thigh softly. "Oh, wait, you must mean like when I bent you over your desk at work—"

"Okay! Okay! I get it, I get it." I flush, and she laughs.

"Come on, Jendeukie, lie down."

"You're sick." I laugh and step away from her.

"Where are you going?" she says with a pout.

"To see what my father's doing out there."

"Why? So you can come back in here and—"

"No! Gosh—go to sleep or something!" I exclaim. I'm glad she's still being playful, but despite her confession, it's still annoying that she lied to me and is being so stubborn about even really discussing Seattle.

I thought for sure that when I got home from my late lunch at Applebee's, she'd be furious at me for not answering her texts. I never suspected that we'd talk things out and she'd admit to lying about being expelled. Maybe Wendy had reassured her that I was on my way, so she had time to calm down. Then again, Wendy's phone was on the table when I turned back around . . .

"Did you say Wendy didn't answer when you called?" I ask.

"Yes; why?" She looks at me, confused.

I shrug, unsure what to say. "I'm just wondering."

"Why, though?" Her tone is off.

"I told her to tell you I was on my way, and I'm just wondering why she didn't."

"Oh." She looks away, reaching for a cup on the dresser. This whole conversation is so awkward—Wendy not telling her that I was on my way, her avoiding my eyes.

"I'm going out there. You can join us if you want."

"I will. I'm just going to change."

I nod and turn the door handle.

"What about your dad, though? He just came back into your life, and you're going to leave?" Her words stop me in my tracks. It's not like I hadn't thought about it before, but Lisa lobbing that question at me like a missile when my back is turned doesn't sit right with me.

I take a moment to recover before leaving the room. When I get to the living room, my father is asleep again. Binge drinking at noon must be exhausting. I turn off the television and head to the kitchen for some water. Lisa's words about leaving so soon after seeing my father again keep replaying in my mind. But the thing is, I can't put my future on hold for a father whom I haven't seen for nine years. If the circumstances were different I would consider rethinking this, but he's the one who left me.

When I get back to the bedroom door, I hear Lisa's voice speaking from inside.

"What the fuck was that shit today?" she says, her voice muffled.

I press my ear to the door. I should just walk in, but I get the feeling I'm not supposed to hear the conversation. Which means I really should hear the conversation.

"I don't give a fuck, it shouldn't have happened. Now she's all upset and shit, and you're supposed to . . ." I can't make out the rest of the sentence.

"Don't fuck this up," she snaps.

Who is she talking to? And what are they supposed to be doing? Is it Wendy? Or, worse, Nancy?

I hear her footsteps approaching the door, and I quickly scoot into the bathroom and close the door.

Moments later, knuckles tap against the wood. "Jennie?"

I open the door. I know I must appear flustered. My heart is pounding against my rib cage, and my stomach is in a knot. "Oh, hey. Was just finishing up in here," I say, but my voice too small.

Lisa cocks an eyebrow at me. "Okay . . ." She looks down the hall. "Where's your dad? Is he asleep?"

"Uh, yup," I say, which makes her grin wide.

"Well, c'mon back to the bedroom, then," she says and takes my hand in her, turning and pulling me gently.

As I follow Lisa back into the bedroom, paranoia begins to seep into my thoughts like a familiar friend.