Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Sorry it's late. And I'm also sorry the plays reality is becoming distorted.

Added Cast

Salem pimp- Dr. Onishi

Girls that follow Abby- Koji's school friends and Rapid Run (Jenny and Carl: grumble)

Act III

Wedge is thrown out of some random door. "But I have proof for the court" Wedge complains.

"This isn't the Courthouse! It's a whorehouse!" Dr. Onishi, who's the pimp, yells. "The Courthouse is two doors down"

"Oh" Wedge says embarrassed.

TWO DOORS DOWN

"I have evidence for the court" Wedge yells striding through the door. Everyone looks up.

"That's nice Dearie, but this is the Grand Ole Opry" Dolly Parton says from the stage.

"But that pimp said the courthouse was two doors down" Wedge said.

"Two doors down they're laughin' and drinkin' and havin' a party," Dolly sings before she manages to stop herself. "Sorry. Force of habit" she apologizes.

"He meant two doors down the other way" Ricky Van Shelton says.

"Thanks"

Courthouse

Wedge strides through the door. "I have evidence!" he announces.

Everyone stares at him. The preacher speaks up "Do you have any reason that these two should not be joined in holy matrimony?"

"Am I early?" Wedge asked.

"Witch trials start in an hour"

"Ok I'll go back to that place two doors down" Wedge said.

House of Inequity

"So when you go on business trips, you really come here?" Wedge asked.

"Yup" Dr. Onishi said taking a swig of Old Granddad. "Just don't tell my wife or Koji".

"Koji! I'm supposed to be at the courthouse to stop them from hanging him, Heavy Load, and Megatron!" Wedge exclaimed.

"Hang Koji! He's the only reason my wife hasn't left me for something younger and Latino!" Dr. Onishi cried.

Wedge stared at him.

"My wife has a thing for accents"

"Ooookkkk" Wedge says looking at Dr. Onishi

Courthouse

"I have evidence for the court" Wedge yells striding in with Dr. Onishi.

"Too late. You're wife has been sentenced to hang" Scourge says from the podium.

"I went through all of that for nothing?" Wedge said deflating.

"No. Now you get to find why Giles Corey was know as The Man of Iron" Scourge says.

"Why was he called The Man of Iron?" Wedge asked.

"He was pressed to death for refusing to admit to or deny the charge against him", Dr. Onishi said. "But on the bright side your children get to inherit your land because you die a Christian under the law". Wedge just stared, as he was drug from the room but he might have muttered 'but I don't have any children' before the door slammed shut behind him.

"We have evidence for the court!" Magnus yelled dragging Optimus into the courtroom, followed closely by Sideburn and X-brawn.

"What now?" Scourge snapped.

"Mary Warren has written a disposition stating that there were never any spirits or witchcraft in Salem" Magnus said.

"That's nice. Why are you here?" Scourge asked.

"Proctor comes to undermined the Court", T-Ai accused.

"No I just came to save my wife" Magnus said.

"Really? We examined her body-" Scourge was cut off.

"Child molester!" Magnus cried pointing a Scourge.

"IN THE PLAY stupid! We didn't really," Scourge said.

"Wait, you mean I wasn't really suppose have an affair with Prowl?" Magnus asked sheepishly.

"YOU WHAT!" X-brawn yelled breaking character for the first time.

"Ooops" Magnus said as X-brawn, Sideburn, and an embarrassed Prowl tackled him and proceeded to beat the crap out of him.

After the bailiff, which I think was invented by this time, pulled the angry transformers off Magnus Scourge decided to put away his popcorn and continue with his lines.

"As I was saying, we examined your wife's body and found that it's too early to tell if she's really pregnant but we're willing to wait a few months to see if any signs of pregnancy manifest" Scourge said.

"You can wait till doomsday but I don't think my wife will show any signs" Magnus said.

Up on the catwalk(which is there for reasons unknown since the first half of the chapter was in movie form)

Koji sighed. "Finally someone who realizes that I'm not a girl". Then Koji lay back down in sniper position and aimed the Requiem Blaster, which he borrowed from Rad, at Optimus.

"Kid, it's almost time for you to go on" Darkscream said appearing out of nowhere and dragging Koji away before he could pull the trigger.

Back in the movie format…

"I feel a chill" Prowl exclaimed.

"Yes a spirit walks among us" Jenny said shivering.

"Yeah. And there's a black cat on abbey's shoulder" Magnus said.

"Don't be ridiculous John" Prowl said flicking the hissing cat off.

"Whore!" Magnus shouted pointing at Prowl.

"Isn't it a bit early for that line?" Optimus asked.

"Do you really want to leave Koji alone much longer when he's probably going to snipe your ass first chance he gets?" Magnus asked.

"No"

"Then shut up"

"Proctor where is your proof the Ms. Williams is a whore?" Scourge interrupts.

"Other than the fact that she called me by my first name when Puritans addressed men out side their families as Mr. or sir" Magnus point out. "Plus I just admitted to sleeping with her. Why do you think my wife threw her out?"

"Well we'll just have to ask your wife whether she know s anything about this" Scourge said as Darkscream dragged Koji into the room. "Goody Proctor, did you ever see Abigail Williams have inappropriate relations with your husband?"

"Yes, behind the barn, in the stalls, on the kitchen table while I was teaching the boys their commandments, in the garden, in church, at our second son's baptism" Koji counted off.

"No. I mean having inappropriate conjugal relations with your husband" Scourge said.

"Oh, then at both our sons' baptisms, in the boy's room while I was tucking the boys in, on the family picnic in the churchyard, my parent's dining room last Christmas, at my father's funeral" Koji counted off.

"Good God man! Have you no shame?" Sky-byte asked.

"It's hearsay, we'll disregard this testimony" Scourge said with a wave of his hand. Darkscream drug Koji out of the room.

"Ah hell there's no winning in this. I'm a witch, hang me" Magnus said, defeated. He was then drug off by random extras.

"You don't really intend to hang my son? Do you?" Dr. Onishi asked.

"Mwahahaha" Scourge laughed maniacally.

"Just wanted to remind you that my wife is very fond of him. And you no how she gets when she's angry" Dr. Onishi said dismissively as he walked out.

Scourge immediately stopped laughing. He then hurriedly scribble down a note to himself on a piece of parchment. 'Don't hang the Onishi brat unless you have death wish'

End Act III

AN: R&R