A/N Yeah, this is random, don't ask... Disclaimer: I own nothing but Rosario, Melosa, Anthony Green, the bar (which you haven't heard a lot about but oh well), Steph's false identity and the plot. Pretty please don't steal it/them, or I'll cry :'(


"Why are you here?" I asked. What I wanted to ask was, "how did you find me?', but that was an obvious question. He's Batman!

"I want to know what the fuck is going on, Stephanie." Okay, he was so pissed. No babes and he swore in front of a child. Shame on HIM!

"What's to know?" Mentally I patted myself on the back. Nice one, Steph, keep your voice reasonable. No need to get security...

"Why did you leave Trenton, for a start?" His voice held the image of a sulking child.

"Rosario, take Melosa out, please," hmmm... how to start? "And first of all, I'm kinda being stalked."

"By who?"

"My... ex ex ex boyfriend."

"Oh?"

"And, um, I found out Morelli had..." be strong, "had been cheating on me. But DON'T tell him I know, he's in for a surprise." I smiled evilly. Muhuahaha! I can just imagine it.

"Hey, cupcake,"

"Don't cupcake me, you lil' turd."

"What? What'd I do?"

"What didn't you do? With TERRY!"

"Listen, I can explain..."

"Ok, start with 'I'm a cheating sadistic bastard' and end with 'and that is why I'm not worthy of you'."

A pair of clicking fingers in front of my face brought my attention back to Ranger.

"Babe, I've only seen that look on the face of a woman seeking revenge. And she tried to cut my gonads off. So please, don't pull that face in front of me." Ranger visibly shuddered.

"Mr. Manoso, have you met your match? A pair of doctoring scissors, perhaps?"

"Nope, a rusty tyre iron..."

Ouch.

"Ok, let's change the subject. That makes me wince and I don't even have gonads. So, what is Mr. Batman going to do now?"

"Attempt to distract this Anthony Green from his rent-a-thugs long enough to assassinate him."

Gulp. "You knew who I was running from?"

"Let's just say that at RangeMan, we know all about your exes, and Anthony was the only one I knew to hire amateur rent-a-thugs-" he was cut off abruptly by me slapping him hard enough to make my stomach muscles heave with indignation (and a LOT of pain... owies!).

"How DARE you! Now shoo, or I'll hire some rent-a-thugs myself." As he was leaving, I caught him smiling. I was amusing him!

"And send in Rosario and Melosa."

He turned then. "Do you want me to look after Melosa while you're in hospital?"

By the look on his face he expected me to say yes. But what would he do? Show Morelli he'd found me? Wave her in the faces of people who tried to kill him? Ha! Fat chance, I thought.

"No need. Rosario has a mansion that Melosa's in luuurve with." I smiled at the mental image of Mel in the mansion - OVERNIGHT! But Rosario wouldn't mind, she lived alone.

An expression of utter shock passed Ranger's face, quickly swallowed by his (stupid) mask of amusement. One day I'd make that mask come off for good, but until then...

"Is this about snooping through your records? I mean, come on-"

"It's not about the snooping, but that is a major factor. Mel just likes the mansion better, and chances are you will be doing something dangerous over the next few days." I smiled. Ranger's face had gone cold. Oh, I luuurve that I can do that to him.

"Now out, and send in Rosario and Mel." With one last scowl (clearly directed at me), Ranger exited, and Mel and Rosario entered... just as my mom did and Valerie. Next entered the horse, the miniature Virgin Mary, and Val's cuddle umpkins... closely followed by my dad and Morelli.

I hate my life.


A/N Yeah, it's random... don't ask. What an ass-whoopin' Steph will get. And anyway, pretty pretty please R & R, that would make my day. And if you don't, I'll cry...