A/N Heyyy...
Randomize: um you learn about Steph's false identity in thiiis one :D
and I am goddamned tired of doing this but DISCLAIMER: I own nothing
but Rosario, Melosa, Anthony "asswipe" Green, Steph's false identity,
the bar, the plot, ummm... the shirt on my back and the computer.
Please don't steal it/them (especially not the shirt-I'd feel naked
without it ) or I'll cry. Also, the computer is very important... it
has all my stuff, y'know...
"Kitrena Comins?" my mother asked. Her mouth had formed a thin, lipless line of pure rage. "Honestlly, Stephanie, you had us all worried sick. And to hear it from a stranger holding my granddaughter."
"But Mommm... you don't like it when I'm being stalked by exes. And besides, Rosario is no stranger."
"Rosario? The Rosario Vega? The youngest billionaire in the world? Omigod omigod omigod!" I could tell that Val jst couldn't wait to beg Rosario for money. I shot Rosario a warning look, and watched as she cautiously edged away from the drooling Valerie.
"Why'd you leave, anyway? Do you know how long Bob's been looking for you?" Morelli said. Oooh... I wanted to congratulate the woman who'd threatened Ranger with that rusty tyre iron, she had the right idea. Maybe I could blackmail Ranger in to giving me her name...
"Do
you know how long I've tried not to kill your ass with a rusty tyre
iron?" I heard a curiously muffled sound coming from the corridor which
I correctly identified as Ranger laughing, and I saw my mother almost
faint. Her chances of getting me married, going slooowly donw the drain. "Stephanie Michelle Plum, what are you talking about?"
"Ask the cheating bastard himself," I said slyly. An eeevil smile
had played upon my lips, I could tell by the way everyone was slowly
backing away from me. This was going better than I planned. Now that
poor fool Morelli would be cornered by my family. Muhuahaha!
"What's wrong, Cupcake?"
"Don't Cupcake me , you lil' turd."
"What? What'd I do?"
"What DIDN'T you do? With TERRY!" Oooh, Morelli walked riiight into it. But what happened next didn't fit it at ALL!
"What are you talking about? Are you INSANE!"
"No, just wondering... WHY TERRY!"
"Why Terry what?"
"Cut the crap, Morelli. Why did you have an affair with Terry?"
And then he laughed. He was being accused of cheating on me with the slut from the set of Barbie Does Mafia, in a room full of supportive and quick to anger relatives and friends, and he laughs. The lil' rat fink laughs. Where are the tyre irons when you need them?
"Oh, that's a good one. Now seriously, what's wrong?"
Grrr! (A/N Warning: This next bit has... ummm... repulsive language and sexual themes, yada yada ya da... just thought you might like to know...)
"YOU SLEAZY FUCKING SON OF THE WHORE OF FUCKING BABYLON! I HOPE YOUR BALLS FALL OFF AND A FLY LAYS FUCKING MAGGOTS ON THEM! IF YOU TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING STEP TOWARD ME AND MY FAMILY, I WILL FUCKING PERSONALLY CASTRATE YOU WITH A RUSTY FUCKING TYRE IRON! IS THAT FUCKING CLEAR, FUCK FACE?" By now I was panting hard, and rage was spilling from my pores. Rosario had her ears over Melosa, who giggled (probably at the steam coming out of my ears), and my mother really HAD fainted. My family (including my friends), were giving Morelli the evils, and he had a puzzled expression on his face. He'd probably take that expression to the grave, if it would save him from being clobbered by my family. Then he did the strangest thing - he laughed. OOOH!
"Did you call my mom 'the whore of fucking Babylon'?"
I scowled. "What is WRONG with you? You've been busted having an affair, and you think it's so funny that I called your mom the whore of Babylon!"
"So you DID!" Then a thoughtful look crossed his face. "Did you say you busted me? That's not possible - Terry's going out with my cousin, Tony." Oh. That explains why I thought it was Morelli. Mental head slap. Unh!
Thanks a bunch, God.
A/N Muhuahaha! Yes, it's very fun to write stories that torment Steph, but a bowl of popcorn that has my name on it is calling me. I know this, because my cellphone is vibrating madly. Anyway, pretty pretty pretty PLEASE! R & R like the nice people you are. It would make my day... although popcorn helps...
