A/N Heyyy... yes, what could she find? Well, you won't know unless you read on, will you? Right? Right. Unless you have some weird, computer-mind-reading shit going on, in which case, feel free to step away from the computer.
Anyway, my sweets, do not fret. It makes you look like you are in desperate need of botox. And I would like to take this time to thank people who review. You make me feel special. I know it's not many people compared to some other stories, but it's enough to make me keep writing without falling asleep. Anyway, I will say this again, Disclaimer: I own all that shit I said before, and my newest addition, a brain. Yes, people, I am one step closer to being intelligent, because I have a brain. If only I knew how to use it...


Anthony. Just sitting there. ON THE FREAKING TOILET! THAT'S IT, GOD, THAT IS IT! ALL DEALS ARE OFF!

The intelligent part of me wished I hadn't just thought that, because this is how it went:

1) Anthony: 'What the...?' draws Firestar 9mm from somewhere. Come on, God, that's not fair. And I know it's you, God, NO ONE takes a freaking gun to the toilet.

2) Stephanie: 'Stop, motherfucker!' draws Uzi from totally cool shoulder holster and gets shot at by Anthony. 'I said, STOP!' shrieks as bullet hits wall, sighs, and re-holsters Uzi, then draws rusty tyre iron.

3) Anthony: 'What are you, crazy? If you couldn't shoot me, you sure as hell can't clobber me. Why did I ever love you?'

4) Stephanie: 'Just watch me clobber your ass. And besides, after the blow to the nuts, you'll probably faint and make my job easier.' What I meant as comforting had Anthony turning pale. Oh Steph, I chided myself, why did you have to freaking make him piss his personally-tailored pale suit? And it was pretty obvious - unless that suit was also fixed to have a patch of wet-looking yellow fabric over the crotch. I dunno, even Anthony's not that dumb. Or is he? Time to find out.

Anyway, I was doing fine at my Rambo act, so I decided to just go ahead and finish it. I charged him, and he gave a yelp, then attempted feebly to pull up his y-fronts (without wiping - yeurggg!). But his hands were shaking too hard, and all those hours of working out had done wonders for my fitness level, so I got there before he'd had time to put 'em away and hit him directly.

His hands fell away, his cold, wintry forest eyes rolled to white, and he fell backwards onto the toilet. I wasn't gonna help him - so what if his evil villain suit got splashed with toilet water? It currently had worse things on it, and I had better things to do, so I rushed out of the door. NTS: Wash tyre iron thoroughly.

I expected to be able to find Melly easily. For there to be, like, a trail of blood I could follow, or a gigantic sign lit up with fluorescent lights that said, 'Melosa this way', but with God as my enemy that might not happen, so I prayed hopefully for the last freaking time today.

"Dear God, hey, it's Steph again.

Anyway, about what I said earlier, you didn't really believe me, did you?"

At the absence of trails of blood, I took that as a 'yes'.

"You did?"

Still nothing. I sighed.

"C'mon, God, cut me sum freaking slack, here! My daughter got kidnapped, and you lead me into a TOILET!"

I heard a 6-year-old child shriek, so I took that as a, "well, when you put it that way...", from the big man and followed the sound of loud, scared-shitless sobs.

"Leave me alone!" Melly almost shrieked. Her words dripped with rage, and her voice only hinted at what she would like to do to the nice torturer. My child is evil? I shuddered. If she turns out like Anthony, I thought glumly, I am so sending her to live with Ranger. I knew that wasn't true, but right now, I really needed to lie down.

"Why, so you can get me to play Barbies with you? Puh-lease!" I was shocked to hear that the wicked voice belonged to a woman. I sighed. That is IT! I charged into the room just as she was saying, "Your Rambo mother won't-"

"Won't what? Kill your ass? Just watch me!" I pulled out my Uzi (for the second time this night. Sigh, no one should have to use their gun that much. Except a cop. And Ranger. And maybe...) and shot her so many times in the head that her head exploded in a cloud of brains and other gunk. It was only after she sunk to her knees, then fell forward, that I truly took in what had been taking place.

Melosa was chained standing up, her back facing me. Each delicate, milk chocolate wrist was encircled by thick, beefy silver chains, and they were so tight that they dug in and left deep cuts. Her back was a criss-cross pattern of red, angry whip lines, and blood oozed sluggishly from the deepest of them. Her soft, almost feathery hair was caked with blood, and the torturer's brains and blood, and thicker stuff covered my Melly's entire back. Just looking at her made me want to shoot the woman again, and I did, for good measure. Then, when I'd pulled myself together enough, I ran to Melosa and hugged her bare back.

"Mommy, is that you?"

"Who else?"

"She said she'd send more workers. She said she'd- oh God, Mommy-" Her tiny, uncertain voice broke with tears, and relief, and for that small amount of relief I would've killed every other person in this place AND fished Anthony's body out of the toilet. Instead, I gave her half the hug she deserved, and let my tears fall down her back. It was only then that I felt my heart skip a beat, and I was oddly curious. Now that I'd killed all the people I needed to, I let the nausea roll over me in a sickening wave, and realized, as if from far away, that I couldn't feel anything. Everything had gone numb.

'Who cares?' part of me thought. 'Who honestly cares, now that I've got Melly back?' And so I let myself slide down Melly, and lean against the stone wall. So refreshing. So cold. So problemless... and I lost consciousness.

And that was how Ranger found us.


A/N Yes, the ending was a tad mushy, but what do you people expect from me? I'm far too stupid to stay on one genre. After reading this story, you should know that. Anyway, the story isn't finished YET, because that would be cruel and unnatural punishment, and I'm not into sadism. Or am I? Nevermind. And also, this chapter is dedicated to my reviewers, and Weird Al Yankovic's new song, 'You're pitiful', to the tune of 'You're beautiful', by James Blunt. But mostly my reviewers :D