A/N Heyyy... I'm utterly bored, and there's nothing to do, so
I'll annoy you all with my next chapter in this story. And if you don't
like it, you can shove it up your-
Anyway, I'm sorry that this story isn't the most updated anymore.
My friend from Australia, Joanna, has come to stay here in New Zealand for a week, and
my uncle Frank has breast cancer, and from the talk on the phone, it's
spread to the lungs. So bear with me people.
Disclaimer: Ummm? I own everything in the world. Just kidding... I own ummm Melosa, the dead rich (literally) Rosario, ummm... Anthony Green, the tyre iron... I bet none of you would have thought up THAT on your own, the bar... what else? I also own the plot, and the name of all the chapters, and the story, and sum other shit, which you don't need to know about. Please don't steal it, because I spent long, tiresome hours making this shit up (not), and you should all be grateful.
This (fabulous) chapter is dedicated to Cokkii, who keeps reviewing, even in the crappiest moments of the story. Keep it up, because if you don't... (raises threatening fist)
I awoke to the smell of clean linen sheets and that hospital, medically smell, and my first thought was 'Wha?' Sad to say, but I felt like my brain had been spilled across a wall, like that woman's last night...
Oh God. I sat bolt upright and spewed my guts all over the... brown sheets? Aren't hospital beds usually that exact shade of white that blinds the sick and injured? Something isn't right...
I looked around, trying to find something to increase my panic. Like a gun, or some chemicals, or drugs injected into me. I found all of that, but it was my gun, hospital chemicals and an IV injected into me. But this isn't a hospital.
So where am I?
"Ms. Plum, I would ask that you stay in the- oh," Ella said, taking in the spew-splattered sheets, wild-eyed me and the horrible smell of my breakfast. "Errr, normally I would ask for you to get up, but..." Ella gestured toward the IV that was straining horribly at my efforts to look around. "Perhaps you could just, erm, I could change the sheets over you, but, um..." Somehow, I was pretty sure that Ella wasn't asking for my royal opinion, so I kept my lips zipped, and watched her rack her brain for a painless solution that ended with clean sheets.
"Ella," I interrupted her babbling calmly.
"Wha- yes, Ms. Plum?"
"For the millionth time, Stephanie. And where is Melosa?"
"Ranger strictly told me-"
"I don't give a rat's ass what Ranger told you," I stated, my voice
eerily deadly, "where is she?" "In- she's- she's in the next room,"
Ella stuttered, and I knew she was measuring the ass-whooping she would
get from Ranger. I could tell she was shocked that I was acting like
this- even I was shocked. I usually like Ella, but I don't usually get
shot. Sure, shot at, but not usually-
"Stephanie?"
I realized that Ella had been repeatedly clicking her fingers infront
of my face. Whoops... pay ATTENTION, Ms. Plum, I chided myself, losing focus never did RangeMan employees any good...
"Ah, yes, Ella, would you mind bringing Melosa in here? Pretty
please?" I batted my eyelashes at her, and gave her wide, innocent
eyes. When all else fails, make them think you're innocent. A simple
philosophy if you go by the name Stephanie Plum.
"Well..." I could see that Ella was obviously confused about the
sudden mood change in the room. Guess she doesn't agree with my
philosophy. Oh, well. She blew out a sigh and raised her hands as if
surrendering. "Just for a little while, Stephanie, you took a LOT of
damage, and Melosa is very fragile right now." And she rushed off to
get Melosa, or alert Ranger that mypowers of persuasion increased.
5 minutes later...
Where is she? I looked impatiently around the obviously NOT hospital room, and decided she was probably in the security room, laughing it up and telling the stupid stinking RangeMan employees about my newly developed split-personality disorder. It was then that I heard a tiny knock on the door. A tiny knock that could've only come from a tiny, delicate fist. A tiny, delicate fist that was chained up last-
"Come in," I said, with as much sweetness as I could muster in my current state. And an uncertain-looking Melosa entered the small room. I smiled, and she tried to, but her face crumpled and she ran toward me. Come on, I thought, I can't look bad enough to make Melly cry, can I? I opened my arms like a nice, supportive Mommy, and embraced the child of Ranger.
"Mommy, you almost died. You were dying, Mommy. And you just- you just slid down the wall, and- oh God" Melly abruptly stopped her complaining and took the time to add to my new spwe collection on the bed. Better than on me, I thought glumly, but I must truly love Melly, or I wouldn't be holding her hair above her head while she throws her guts out. Or would I?
And then Ranger walked in, took a look around and burst out laughing.
"Did you teach our Melly a new trick? I know that all that vomit couldn't have come from such a tiny being."
I was all out of comebacks (they must have went out with my stomach), so I gave him a cheery, "fuck you".
"Babe, that's how Melly came around. Do you really want to risk it
again?" And with that cheerful note, he left and entered... Morelli?
What the...?
He
looked different, somehow. Like his eyes were haunted. And he had more
stubble than ever. But it wasn't that... he had the look of someone who
hadn't slept for a long time.
"Hey," I croaked.
"Hey."
"So... what brings you here, o' master cop of Trenton?" Talk about
uneasy. We both had lots of things we wanted to say, and things we
didn't.
"Checking out what a wreck you've made of yourself."
"You don't look so good yourself. Burger go down wrong?"
"Cupcake, are you aware that you almost died?"
"Yes. And?"
He blew out a sigh from stubbled lips. "I forgot that this was a regular basis thing for you."
I
looked around for seating that wasn't covered in spew and came up with
a chair with half the stuffing torn out. Oh, well. "Does Trenton's
hottest cop wish to take a seat?
"He looked at his watch, sighed (again! Urg!), then shook his head. I
almost believed that he didn't want to go, but the need to get out was
rolling off him in waves. "I'm sorry, Steph, but I've got a meeting,
and the vomit isn't all that exciting, and-" he abruptly covered his
nose, and took off, saying a very nasal goodbye.
And not for the first time, or even the second, maybe the third time I looked around the room. Oh, how horribly boring my days would be, sitting here day after day, lying around, with my only friend Melosa, and perhaps that T.V there. Maybe I could ask for a bigger T.V. Then, atleast I-
Hold on.
What's that?
It appears to be a bowl of cookies 'n cream ice cream.
ICECREAM!ICECREAM!ICECREAM!
Life is good.
A/N Yeah, there will be one more chapter, although it will probably be an epilogue 'cause I'm to frickin' lazy to do anything more. I dunno, maybe I could write a sequel to this. Dun dun DUNNN! Um, this is where you gasp and say, 'say it isn't so', in mock-horrified voices. But yes, whether you like it or not, I will probably be annoying you all with another installment, just to entertain myself. Also, I would really really REALLY! (see how eager and sincere this face is?) like to take this time to thank ALL of my reviewers. All of you. Even if you said something mean and diabolical. Even if you asked me if I would 'like fries with that?'. Your critisism and support (and fries) is what keeps me boring- errr... writing these chapters... not boring you. No. Let us forget I ever said that. For now.
