ACT 10: I LIVE FOR RIKU!

"Okay, once again I am here with the cast of the master work The Director's Wizard of Oz stage show. Here with us now is the actor who plays the Cowardly Lion..."

"THE KING LION!" (Sephiroth shouts off camera)

"Right, 'the King Lion', Sephiroth...um whatever his last name is."

"That's right."

"Now Sephiroth, how old are you?"

"Hey, how come this question wasn't asked The Director!"

"Um, because Ms. Director is an enigma in this fan fiction. Who will probably be explained sometime soon, because the writer is sick and tired of forgetting how to depict her."

"Oh... okay, then I'm...er..."

Sephiroth's face went pale and his eyes widened beyond belief.

"...I'm...40...?"

"Oh, well okay then, that's what we needed to kno–-----."

"I CAN'T BE 40! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I'M STILL UNBELIEVABLY SEXY!"

"Um, please calm down" The Interviewer pleaded trying to keep him from killing anything.

(The Director walks by quickly pinching the back of Sephiroth's neck and he passes out.)

"Er...um...well, okay then. Let's talk to our next guest Mr. Cloud Strife, in the role of The Mighty Oz. Mr. Strife?" The interviewer said gesturing his hand for Cloud to take a seat.

"Yes, thank you for seeing me." Cloud said sitting in the folding chair.

"Okay, to start off, how old are you...?" The interviewer asked holding his notebook over his head to shelter it.

"I'm 29."

"Oh, well thank you. Next, how did you feel when the director first confronted you about the part?"

"Well, I was in the middle of a fight with Sephiroth because he traded off my baseball cards. But when Ms. Director got between us, we found out that she was the one who had them. So when she gave them back I agreed to be in the play."

"..." The interviewer was a little confused, "riiiight..."

"But, I'm kind of regretting it because she trashed my mini van..."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm just glad she didn't get a hold of my motorcycle." Cloud said relieved.

(From outside)

"Hey, Cloud! I'm borrowing your motorcycle! I'll bring it back in 3 pieces–---I mean 3 hours!"

Cloud suddenly ran outside as the Director screeched off on his motorcycle and started chasing her with his Buster Sword.

"Okay, I guess that's the end of that interview! Up next we have 3 more guests, Mr. Sora, Mr. Riku, and Ms. Kairi."

"Hee hee, hello!" Kairi giggled

"Yo." Sora said giving them a peace sign, a bandage on his chin.

"Hey." Riku said casually.

"Um, Sora, why is your chin bandaged?"

Sora rubbed his chin gently, "Oh this? Director punched me when she found out that Aeris needed a smaller dress" ;

"Oh, yeah, you should've seen Kairi's face when he went through the roof again, she made a face like this: OO; It was so priceless!" Riku said laughing at the memory.

"So are Kairi and Sora an item?" the interviewer asked.

Sora and Kairi looked at each other for a moment then turned away blushing. They both said at once "N-no not really...I mean, I guess we kinda like each other but..."

Their little conversation with each other went on for a while, so the interviewer turned his attention to Riku.

"So, Riku, how about you? Do you have anyone special?"

Riku blushed a bit and lowered his head. He turned his head to Kairi.

"Oh, I see." the interviewer said sympathetically. "Well, maybe someone has special feelings for you."

"Oh no doubt."

"Oh, really? Who?"

Riku stood up and told the interviewer to look out the window. When Riku opened the curtains, millions of girls holding up 'I LIVE FOR RIKU' signs screamed at his sudden appearance.

"Oh, my GAWD! It's RIKU!" One of the many rabid fan girls shrieked.

"RIKU! RIKU! WE LOVE YOU RIKU!" all the girls started shrieking and shoving each other over to get to the window. Among them was the Director who was whacking all the competition out of the country with her golden harrison. She finally made it over and Riku saw that she was wearing a 'RIKU IS MY HUBBY!' shirt and a 'I LIVE FOR RIKU' hat.

"Hiya, Riku!" the Director said sounding flirtacious.

Riku shut the curtains and waked back to his seat where Sora and Kairi continued their 'I um, er well, you see...' conversation. The interviewer only had one thing to say before he ended the interview for the day: "Why am I alive?"