Inter-LOAFERS: Dance-Dance-Feva!
By Xenomorph666
Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.
DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.
Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.
Universe: Misfit-Verse
Ash
After Wraith had calmed down ever so slightly, and the media began to disperse from the strange thrashing of Perfection, Alteran's appearance and the strange portal in the sky that spewed out an odd man and an evil looking book, the world began to return to normal at an ever so small pace. The Misfits and X-Men were back at the X-Mansion with their newest guest, while Wanda and Pietro waited for Perfection to get over the shock of Alteran's betrayal and Maven to resume consciousness. So it stood to reason that while the air of the mansion was filled with confusion on some parts, sadness and anger filled the others.
"I don't believe it!" DM growled as tore through another of the Danger Room's robots, the Silver Legion glowing brightly in his hands. "How could he betray us? We've always been there for him and he goes and steals his own brother's place!"
"DM." Wraith was also working off some excess anger, though he kept it better hidden. "Sometimes even we can't see the things that destiny brings."
"I know." DM lowered his sword. "But Al and P used to joke around so much, they were sorta the idealof being aScion. They never overly abused their powers for selfish gain, never asked anything of anyone and gave of themselves."
"True." Wraith sighed. "But Perfection has always been that way; Alteran had to be led into the light. In case you forgot he and Maven used to be two of the most dangerous and evil mages we had ever encountered."
"He stole his brother's place though." DM was still struggling to understand what was happening.
"Sometimes…" Wraith started but was unable to finish and the two friends sat in a strangely secluded silence.
For the first time, Perfection, the one person who had always cheered the two of them up when the worst was at their door step, was now lying in a state of frozen shock. No physical blow had brought him to his knees, no bullet tore through his heart, but a friend's betrayal had knocked him into a cold nether-region where neither could tread and for the first time Wraith and DM were afraid for their friend and not those around him.
Meanwhile in the recreation room of Xavier's mansion a rather rugged looking one armed demon killing smart ass was being interrogated by Hawk, Xavier and Logan. Of course none of the three could have expected the tale he had told them. A tale of how he an his girlfriend had gone up to a cabin one night and accidentally summoned a horde of demons, he was taken by one of the demons but eventually fought free only to find himself alone in the cabin. Then his tale got even more bizarre, his hand had somehow been infected with the evil that summoned the demons and tried to kill him, his only solution was to "lop it off at the wrist" with his trusty chainsaw. From there his tales survival went from the strange to the normalcy of the X-Men's and Misfits' lives.
"What do you mean you believe me?" Ashley "Ash" J. Williams arched a confused eyebrow as he looked at the three men. "And just where in the Sam Hell did the book take me this time, huh?"
"Another dimension." Astral fidgeted as he took off his trench coat. "But the book didn't bring you here. A collision of two universes' brought you here and here you will have to remain."
"WHAT?" The small group shouted at Astral.
"Sorry. But any universe that integrates into yours cannot be separated out." Astral tried to explain. "It'd be like mixing asparagus into a chocolate shake, plopping it in a blender, hitting frappe and then trying to remove the taste. Not even Mosious could do that."
"Right, so what now?" Ash asked as a sense of danger came over him.
"Well, the first thing we do is secure this book…" Hawk hefted the Necronomicon Ex Mortus and placed it in a steel box, "In a nice steel vault in the most secret base we can find."
"Wow, a smart person in the military…" Ash said in genuine surprise. "What's the second part of that plan?"
"Seal it so tight and with so many mystical barriers that not even a god could break through it." Hawk smiled.
"And what about me…" Ash gestured to himself.
"Well GI JOE could always use another recruit." Hawk said with a smile.
"Oh nooooooo." Ash waved his arm and stump in a definite form of declining.
"Well, Xavier could always give him a job." Astral suggested.
"What? Work for Professor Hair-loss?" Ash pointed his thumb at Xavier while Hawk and Astral tried to hide a few giggles and chortles. "I'd rather be in an old folk's home under the delusion that I'm Elvis."
"That can be arranged…" Xavier glowered at the one armed warrior.
"But you know Xavier, it wouldn't be a bad idea." Hawk pointed out. "I mean you are striving for better human/mutant relations, aren't you?"
"Yes, but…" Xavier tried to argue.
"Well the Misfits have you beaten by having a single human in the team." Hawk said with a smile as Arcade came running down the hall with a box of cookies and a strangely hyper Xi chasing after him, "No matter how insane he is."
"Your point General Hawk?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.
"It wouldn't look bad if you had a human working for you, even if he's just a teacher or something." Hawk smiled.
"Hm…" Xavier thought on it for a few seconds. "I guess it couldn't hurt…"
"Uh, Question from the new guy." Ash raised his stump, "What's a mutant?"
"A mutant, Mr. Williams is a human being born with an extra gene that can grant them extraordinary powers and abilities, or simply change their physical appearance. And with the exception of the JOEs, Arcade, the Scions and their guests everyone here is in fact a mutant." Xavier gave his long winded explanation.
"Wow, and what's this about human and mutant relations?" Ash asked with his eyebrow raised once again.
"Not all humans are open-minded enough to accept the mutant race openly and with friendly intentions." Hawk answered with a rather sour look.
"What'dya mean?" It was Ash's turn to interrogate Xavier and Hawk.
"Mutants are constantly fighting for equal rights and many humans see us as inhuman monsters that must be destroyed." Xavier motioned for Ash to follow him and with a little confusion the he did. "The sad thing is Mr. Williams, is that most mutants are children no older than sixteen and have no clue as to how to use their powers. So they are hunted and exploited, or even worse."
"Geez, what kind of hard ass jerk-offs would hurt kids?" Ash asked as he entered Xavier's office with Hawk and Logan not far behind.
"A lot of groups, mostly fanatics, some religious, some based on prejudice and others for no real reason at all." Hawk sighed. "The X-Men and Misfits exist to give these kids some hope to have a normal life as well as to train them how to use their powers."
"Geez, that's… that's a lot to take in." Ash put his head on his stub. "But what could I do here; I was a salesman for Christ's sake."
"Well, we could always use another han… er… repairman on the premise." Xavier stopped himself from making a terrible pun.
"Gee, I was actually hoping for the role of handy-man!" Ash's tone was laced with sarcasm. "Seriously though, if you gave me a chemistry book I can make those classes interesting to anyone younger than sixteen or who likes explosions."
"I've go a better idea; how about we work you in as a substitute every now and then." Xavier almost panicked at the thought of another person adding to the repair bills.
"Well what works works?" Ash stuck his good hand out. "You got a deal Baldy."
Xavier smiled as he shook Ash's hand, but in the deep trenches of his mind a little notch was added next to Ash's name, a notch that accompanied only one other name; Shipwreck.
AN: Yes I alluded to the wonderful Bubba-Ho-Tep film. If you have not seen this amazing Bruce Campbell film, I command you to find it RIGHT NOW! Seriously, stop reading and go find it.
