Okay…my sister held me at bazooka point, and told me in no uncertain terms, what would happen if this wasn't made. So…yeah… Well, if you've never heard the song, it's a complete crack fic, but you don't need to know the song to like this—the words speak for themselves.
Disclaimer: Gai and Kakashi would give bunnies a bad name if I owned the Naruto-verse. But never fear; this is only a friendship fic.
KAKASHI AND GAI—ON BROADWAY!
"Once again we meet, My Eternal Rival!"
Gai had just appeared with his usual flair. Meaning he was striking a ridiculous pose on top of a giant turtle with a cloud of smoke billowing around him. He was greeted with waves of laughter.
Kakashi face-palmed. He had just been catching up with some jounins from another village that he hadn't seen in a while, and had rather hoped they would have left before Gai could find him for his daily challenge.
"Some one you know, Kakashi-kun?" The jounin could barely stand, he was laughing so hard, trying to hold his side and wipe the tears from his eyes at the same time.
Recovering his composure, Kakashi replied, "Yeah, he's one of the local jounin; he's a friend of mine."
Gai—completely oblivious to the laughing ninjas around them—began to spout waterfalls from his eyes, deeply moved. "I had no idea, Kakashi, that you considered me a friend." Gai jumped off of his turtle and punched a fist into the air. "I must do something to show that I am worthy of your warm friendship! With the power of Youth and Friendship, I shall think of something!" Then he was off. To do laps around the city or something—as far as Kakashi knew or cared.
Kakashi probably should have been scared, but he was just too relieved that Gai had left.
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
It was 2:00am, and Kakashi was just getting in. He'd been out drinking with his out-of-town cronies, and the liquor wasn't sitting well. He was already starting to get a hangover. Kakashi just couldn't wait to fall into bed. He opened the door, and an ungodly noise met him.
"At last, My Eternal Rival and friend!"
Kakashi closed his eyes; hoping it would just go away. No such luck, Gai was still there when he opened his eyes, and, what was worse, he wasn't alone.
"Naruto's sensei, are you asleep on your feet? Staying out this late is most definitely not youthful!" Rock Lee was with him.
"Of course you are right, my cute student!" Lee beamed at the praise; Kakashi groaned. "It isn't good to stay out all night." Gai placed his fists on his hips and let his teeth sparkle—he must have his dentist on speed dial. "Your students expect you to greet them bright and early in the morning!"
"It doesssn't really matter," Kakashi slurred, "I'm always late."
Gai frowned at that. Stroking his chin in thought, Gai responded, "I've been meaning to speak to you about that. Punctuality is the prerogative of kings."
Kakashi couldn't have cared less, and was trying to push past Gai in order to get into bed as quickly as possible. Gai caught him by the shoulder and held him in place.
Kakashi looked up and saw that Gai had suddenly gotten very serious. "I told you that I would do something to prove that I deserved your warm friendship." Rock Lee, as the good mini-clone that he was, nodded in agreement. "I always keep my word."
Even though Kakashi was dead tired, he was still a little curious. He was also a little touched—he had no idea that Gai would take this so seriously. He had always considered Gai a friend (why else would he put up with the insanely constant contests?); it wasn't a big deal. But apparently Gai didn't take it so lightly.
Gai helped Kakashi stumble into a chair.
"Ka'shi—now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project."
"You really don't have to do that," said Kakashi, but he wasn't listening as he reached a shaky hand into his pocket and pulled out (after a couple of tries) his beloved Itcha Itcha Paradise.
Gai looked down on Kakashi fondly. "I know. That's what makes me so nice!" Gai stepped back, and took a deep breath. Oh-no, he's gonna sing, thought Kakashi. The jumpsuited jounin had a bad habit of randomly bursting into song. Kakashi brought his book closer to his face, planning to ignore the man to the best of his ability.
"Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it—who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)"
Lee rushed to his sensei's side to give him a hug, showing his whole-hearted agreement. "My youthful sensei is the most fortunate by far!" Gai punched Lee full in the face, sending him hurtling against the wall—hard. "Now is not the time my adorable pupil!" Gai continued without missing a beat:
"My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know—"
Gai brought a hand up to cover his heart, to show his sincerity.
"I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry—I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You…will…be…
Popular!"
Gai struck a 'nice guy' pose as a miraculously recovered Lee began to wave pompoms in a cheer in the background.
"Your gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys"
Lee pulled an Iruka mask from out of nowhere, and proceeded to capper around the room in a rather girlish way.
"Little ways to flirt and flounce
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair…"
At this point Gai snuck up behind Kakashi, pair of scissors in hand, with all the considerable stealth he could muster. Not that it was needed. Kakashi had thoroughly tuned out everything besides what was on the page in front of him.
"Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've an awfully long way to go"
The scissors sang in time with Gai's remarkably good voice, as silver hair began to fall in a cloud.
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a
Sister (um—brother) and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular—
I know about popular
Gai pulled out a black jumpsuit from the same place as Lee got the Iruka mask—green wasn't for everyone after all, and Kakashi did look remarkably dashing in black…
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were—are—
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming populer (lar)
Gai faltered a little bit when he forgot to rhyme, but, undaunted, he continued. He also, brought back disco dancing for a brief moment, before it ran back and hid of its own accord in its dark grave.
Lar lar lar lar
We're gonna make
You pop…u…lar
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
Gai momentarily eyed Kakashi's mask, but decided against removing it. Kakashi wouldn't notice being dressed and having his hair cut, but removing his mask would certainly send triggers throughout his booze-soaked mind. He was only doing this for the silver haired jounin's own good after all; Kakashi would thank him for this latter.
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
This was sung while pointing out the window at Mount. Hokage (the mountain with the Hokage's faces engraved on them).
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular! Please—
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way your viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!
Gai stood back to admire his work. It was no less than a miracle—that was for sure. Finally his eternal rival looked as hip as he sounded.
"Why, Ka'shi, look at you. Your beautiful." A tear came into Gai's eye; he was able to keep his warm promise. He had truly done something worthy of Kakashi's friendship.
Kakashi looked up blearily. "Are you going now?"
Gai was already heading out the door, but he called back, "You're welcome!"
Kakashi made his wobbly way into the bathroom. But as he passed by the mirror, what he saw made him stop cold.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" All of Konoha awoke to it's lead jounin's scream of horror.
"Yoshi! He really liked it sensei!" Lee was at Gai's side positively glowing with pride for his brilliant teacher. Gai smiled a satisfied smile and finished up his song.
"And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity"
Hand and hand, pupil and teacher skipped to the training grounds, planning on getting a head start on there warm-ups. Their voices in perfect time with one another, they disappeared into the sunrise.
"La la la la
You'll be popular—
Just not quite as popular
As us!"
A/N: You know Gai would so sing Broadway! Thesong is "Popular" from Broadway's Wicked.Yes, Kakashi now has a bowl cut and a black spandex jumpsuit. Kakashi with a silver-haired bowl-cut…it's wrong, horribly wrong, but it makes me feel all giggly just thinking about it.
