.
.
r/conpiracytheories ∙ Posted by u/project_221b 10 hours ago
Bruce Wayne is Batman. Only he is not.
.
There has been a lot of talk on Batman's secret identity lately (sparked by Reddit's very own relationship threads!) and while I enjoy memetastic speculations as much as anyone else, I did some digging, and here's what I think is the real truth:
Batman is Bruce Wayne. But he's A Bruce Wayne, not THE Bruce Wayne.
Hear me out.
Everyone who's ever met Brucie face to face knows he's a clumsy, spoiled airhead. Like, it's a Fact. Like, there is absolutely No Way that man is the terror of Gotham's underworld, let alone a lover not to one, but Two Jokers. Just. No. Impossible TM. But he Is suspiciously involved in the Gotham crime scene, funding shelters, rehabilitation centers and providing jobs for people who want to go on the straight and narrow. Like, the sheer amount of money he pours into the Narrows alone is quite impossible to miss. He obviously cares. He also can't do anything too overt, because he's Brucie freakin Wayne. The whole city's got eyes on his every move!
So. Here's the theory:
There is more than one of him.
Point one (1): Batman's toys cost money. Big Money. Money he's got to get Somewhere.
Money that Brucie has in heaps and obviously isn't afraid to use.
Point two (2): As reported by various stake out teams, Brucie rarely leaves his house in the evenings, save for his posh boy parties and official business sightings. Batman is out almost every night.
Point three (3): If you look for them, there are actually multiple records of Bruce Wayne being in at least two, very Distant, places at the same time. Photographic evidence :here:
Point four (4): Brucie seems to have a personal interest in fixing the city, which is also what Batman (supposedly) does. Only much more Hands On.
Point five (5): Batman did not appear until After Brucie came back from his ''Round The World Bachelor's Trip'.
Point six (6): Both Jokers seem to be comfortably familiar with Brucie whenever they take him hostage, but save for that one hickey(?) situation, none of them act particularly handsy. If you've seen either Joker with Batman before, and I'm sure at this point all of Gotham had, Not being handsy doesn't seem like something they're capable of.
Conclusion: Bruce Wayne got a clone of himself while "traveling" the world, which he now sics on the criminal population every night, dressed in a furry onesie.
TLDR: Batman is Bruce Wayne's clone.
LOG IN OR SIGN UP TO LEAVE A COMMENT
151 Comments:
.
∙nevergonnagiveyouup 10 hours ago
Bold of you to assume Bruce Wayne has enough brains to pull off something of this caliber.
∙∙little_Fairy 10 hours ago
I wouldn't be so sure?
Anyone else remembers how before his Big Trip he used to not be so airheaded? When Jerome took over that music festival right before Jeremiah went apeshit, Bruce like. Took down Firefly on stage? I think he even went after Jerome, too.
∙∙∙theBiggest_chungus 10 hours ago
That proves nothing tho. People do all sorts of crazy shit when riding that adrenaline high amirite
∙∙∙burrito997 9 hours ago
I also would go after Jerome if Batman wouldn't decimate me for it :v
∙∙∙∙ghostofthevalley 51 minutes ago
yeah dream on pal
∙∙∙JeromeValeskaIsSuperior 9 hours ago
On the flip side, I don't think Brucie even finished high school? It's sus AF he can handle his allowance, let alone the whole entire company.
∙∙∙∙hydrogen-pero-peroxide-xide 3 hours ago
*~~welcome to the nepotism babey~~*
∙∙∙∙harlequingurl 9 hours ago
Why would you think he has allowance?
∙∙∙∙∙Comment deleted by user
∙∙∙∙∙3 more replies
∙∙∙∙Murphys-Lawless 8 hours ago
Hmm. It true though that for a soulless conglomerate, Wayne Enterprises seem ridiculously involved in bettering the city, and it does seem to be mostly Bruce's doing. Like he talks lotsa bullshite 'bout not wanting to see no more poor sad orphans just like he was but then turns around and actually does stuff.
When my friend quit henching for penguin and went to the help center, he was apparently there volunteering at the kitchens? Mofo fed her some soup, cried about her little sibling getting shot on duty and then personally hooked her at a job. With fucking BENEFITS. Like WHO does that?
What I'm saying is he don't have to be brains behind Batman, but funding a whole-ass vigilante persona to thwart the big fishes is exactly the kind of ridiculous nonsense this absolute lunatic of a man would jump straight into.
∙∙∙∙∙BadWolf 8 hours ago
He probably think it's funny, too. Like c'mon the concept of batman is so stupid when you think about it? Like what normal person wakes up one day and goes "Today I'm gonna dress up in a halloween costume and fistfight god"? Like seriously. How far removed from reality do you have to be, how far above others see yourself to think it is your godgiven right to exert your will as law over other people.
Like look me in the face an tell me this ain't exactly the kind of fucked up rich people mentality that's ruining this country. I'll wait.
∙∙∙∙∙∙IsimpForComishGordon 7 hours ago
that's a good point actually. still to be fair gotham is kind of infested with halloween costume criminals, and fighting fire with fire doesn't seem so far-fetched when you think about it like that? i mean i absolutely agree this gotta be some rich boi power fantasy come to life but consider: it was so much worse without him.
some rogues offer dental and even sick leave now if it's bat that roughed you up as opposed to the sheer NOTHING of before. job safety standards actually went UP since there is someone to bounce them against. i don't care if bruce wayne cloned himself to play fps video games irl or because of some stupid misplaced robin hood complex. it actually works somewhat goddammit
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙chilli-dogs-my-beloved 6 hours ago
||i don't care if bruce wayne cloned himself to play fps video games irl
This sentence is going to haunt me holy shit.
Personally I don't think Brucie is the type of person to clone himself on purpose but he was MIA for years on his Trip. Just sayin.
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Kyle-says 5 hours ago
What if it wasn't a Trip(TM) at all. Professor Strange sure has done more heinous shit than just kidnapping local billionaire kid for funsies and free torture
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙aZiRapHaleSbIgToE 5 hours ago
wait that's horrifying
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Continue this thread
∙kermitslefttit 10 hours ago
Oh.
∙Comment removed by moderator
∙footpie 9 hours ago
I agree with your reasoning and that the timeline fits a little too well, but. I mean. Bruce Wayne is like the Kim Kardashian of Gotham. If he were running around secretly meeting up with himself to conspire Batman — and we all know that that man is like the opposite of subtle — it'd be like Beyonce riding on a dinosaur through Times Square. People would notice.
∙∙stripes 9 hours ago
I resent that
∙∙b-a-c-k-g-r-o-u-n-d 9 hours ago
he is a bit isn't he? But on the other hand Batman is Batman so they'd balance out I think
∙∙ForTheLoveOfAllThatIsPasta 7 hours ago
If batman is bruce wayne's clone, then isn't he, technically, also bruce wayne?
∙∙∙ILivedBitch 7 hours ago
I don't think that's how this works, pal!
∙∙∙letmego69 5 hours ago
More important question is: if they share the same face, do the Clowns know they're not screwing the original? Because. Implications.
∙∙∙∙Kyle-says 5 hours ago
In the AMA Jerome said it's not Bruce Wayne. And it was Bat-moderated so *thumbs up*
∙∙∙∙∙WWXpls-lickme 3 hours ago
Well first of all, I'd take everything the Jokers say with, like, a spoon of salt. Maybe even a bucket.
And second of all, obviously that's what he'd say? It's not like they could just outright admit to anything smh. Imagine the chaos.
∙∙∙∙∙6 more replies
∙∙∙∙notice-me-senpai 5 hours ago
WAIT what if Jerome is also a clone and that's why nobody is saying anything? Supposedly the dude's got resurrected twice. Getting a clone instead be so much more believable imo
∙∙∙∙∙thaddeusnotcrane 4 hours ago
That would be suggesting that a clone of Bruce Wayne, who is acting as the Batman, is in an intimate relationship with a clone of the late Jerome Valeska, who is acting as the Joker, if I understand correctly?
∙∙∙∙∙∙notice-me-senpai 4 hours ago
Basically yea
∙∙∙∙∙∙Kyle-says 3 hours ago
Hell, it would be hilarious if Jeremiah was ALSO Jerome's clone. Not like the dude was actually around before the Maniax first started to prove that he isn't. Just think about it!
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙harlequingurl 3 hours ago
There are no existing records of a person named "Jeremiah Valeska" prior to the time his existence was brought up to the public eye by Jerome Valeska himself. If that helps :)
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙footpie 1 hour ago
I feel like this is threading dangerously close to would you f..k a clone of yourself territory and that is a discussion I never want to have in the context of the Joker. Ever. Please do not make me.
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙DontCallMeBridgit 1 hour ago
No, no! Let's DEFINITELY talk about that
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙Comment deleted by user
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙21 more replies
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙3 more replies
∙∙∙∙∙5 more replies
∙demonsrun 7 hours ago
I don't think there has to be a connection between Bruce Wayne having apparent doppelgangers and Batman at all. Just because he doesn't seem to be as evil as the other billionaires I could name but won't, doesn't mean the man has anything to do with vigilante justice.
∙∙ShunShunRikka 7 hours ago
It's not just doppelgangers is the thing tho.
There was a whole thing about Batman accidentally courting the Jokers via reddit that had a little too many pieces fit a little too well to not stir attention. To the point that now it would probably be more difficult to prove that the connections are coincidental than that they're not. It's Gotham. We roll with the crazy. And Brucie Wayne getting cloned to propagate "vigilante justice" is definitely less crazy than Brucie Wayne donning a costume to do it himself.
∙∙∙demonsrun 6 hours ago
That's such bullshit. I could make a username "lexnotluthor" tomorrow and vaguepost about my tragic crush on a man that's out of this world, and my date plans always somehow getting thwarted by local reporters, but that doesn't mean I AM Lex Luthor or that there is any connection whatsoever between Superman and Lois Lane, or Clark Kent, for that matter. Correlation is not causation.
There are plenty of people who look Just Like Celebrities until you put them side by side – that doesn't mean anything. Bruce Wayne having and using his money doesn't mean anything because no billionaire ever would actually stoop to getting their hands dirty directly.
∙∙∙∙ILivedBitch 2 hours ago
Well DUH! That's why he's got a clone!
∙∙∙∙Continue this thread
∙i-love-rats99 5 hours ago
OOOOOOH this is interesting. Okay.
(As your local expert on the matter) I would like to point out that among users most commonly interacting in The BatJoke Affair threads there were u: KittyCat_Gotham, EccoEcco & theFireflies (CONFIRMED as rogues and known Joker associates Catwoman, Ecco and Firefly) but ALSO a u pennyworthless. Now this could be just a random person taking the piss of the situation and trolling the rogues, but. I don't think so? If you go into the dude's page it's mostly (excellent if I say so myself!) cooking advice and home maintenance boring bs, but also a fairly recent TIFU ft. "youngest family son" dating "Dangerous(TM) (mobster?) brothers" and murder being basically par for the course. Yes I did the digging. Also in Batman's love letter sub, Catwoman summoned him specifically to demand payment in food?
Bruce Wayne's butler slash former legal guardian is named Alfred Pennyworth. Coincidence? I think not!
∙∙we-live-in-a-society 3 hours ago
Original Boyfriend poster was broosenotwayne, no? Alias senses clearly run in the family.
∙∙∙i-love-rats99 3 hours ago
Bro I could kiss you right now!
∙∙∙∙we-live-in-a-society 3 hours ago
Do it, coward.
∙∙∙∙∙i-love-rats99 2 hours ago
Well maybe I will!
∙∙∙∙∙9 more replies
∙∙YEET 5 hours ago
So what this tells me is
a) brucie is involved with the rogues, which, WOW, didn't see that one coming
or b) he's actually indeed involved with batman
Alright. I'll take it
∙∙∙∙DontCallMeBridgit 4 hours ago
Please he and Cat are such OLD pals
∙∙∙∙JeromeValsekaIsInferior 3 hours ago
i'm not going to ask how you know that
∙∙∙∙∙Kyle-says 3 hours ago
Doesn't everyone? It's not like it's a secret
∙∙∙∙∙Continue this thread
∙hades_youBitch 6 hours ago
Listen, listen. Dunno about the Bat thing. But can attest the clone DEFINITELY exists. Met him on vacation some time ago, pretty chill guy. Bought me some margatitas. Pretty sure Bat was still on the roll at the time, tho. So maybe A clone instead of THE clone.
∙∙project_221b 6 hours ago
EXCUSE ME?!
∙∙project_221b 6 hours ago
You Talked. To Bruce Wayne's clone. On Vacation. WHAT
∙∙∙hades_youBitch 5 hours ago
Yeah yeah. Said his name was "five"? Kinda weird not gonna lie but. My kids are into them comics too, so. No judgment. But sure seems relevant now, no?
∙∙∙∙Evil_Lore 4 hours ago
wait this could work. Having multiple "batmen" would explain why the dude's so goddamn elusive
∙∙∙∙∙hatterhoe 4 hours ago
And why he always seem to be where he shouldn't.
∙∙∙∙∙hatterhoe 4 hours ago
And why he's never down, even after a solid beating!
∙∙∙∙∙∙thaddeusnotcrane 3 hours ago
That might as well be simple enhanced regeneration, I'm afraid.
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙hatterhoe 3 hours ago
True. But not necessarily!
∙∙∙∙thecommonfool 2 hours ago
Hold on. If there is more than one, how would the Jokers know which Batman is their boyfriend?
∙∙∙∙∙harlequingurl 34 minutes ago
Maybe it's all of them…
∙∙∙∙∙∙i-love-rats99 11 minutes ago
#𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓼
28 more replies
.
~END~
.
A/N:
Five, who hasn't set even a toe in Gotham in years, living his best life enjoying sun and umbrella drinks:
Reddit user u/project_221b, who might or might not be Bruce desperately trying to cover his own ass: I'm about to end this man's whole career :)
Also If you're wondering why Peanut Gallery isn't trolling this to the high Hells… yes they are. Just incognito, you see, because SOMEONE might've banned them from engaging in Bat-related online drama ever again. Not that it worked very much, of course :3
.
Well anyway folks, I think this is the spot to end before it all goes terribly off the rails. I hope you enjoyed the ride! \o/
Love!
