Inter-LOAFERS: Dance-Dance-Feva!

By Xenomorph666

Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.

DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.

Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.

Universe: Misfit-Verse

Poor Stanley and the Infamous Clothes Rope

"So is he awake yet?" Perfection asked Lifeline as he hovered around Stanley Ipkiss' bed.

"No, for the one thousandth time, he is not yet awake." Lifeline said in his usual calm tone. The JOE's medic, who had very little contact with the Scions before hand, was now beginning to understand why the base ha a sudden influx of anti-acids and aspirin.

"How about now?" Perfection smiled sweetly.

"No, and for the last time, would you get that fishing pole out of the water cooler?" Lifeline was now stressed.

"Aw, but I wanted to catch the elusive 'Water Cooler Carp', it's the last fish I need for my town." The Scion's face drooped as he retracted the fishing pole and sat on the floor.

"I'm not even going to ask…" Lifeline ignored the crazy being as he went about his normal business.

"Hey, it's tough to take care of an Animal Crossing town, everyone's always so needy." Perfection explained as he pulled out a silver portable video game system. "And for some reason you're always the only one who can do anything remotely near manual labor…"

"Why are you even here?" Lifeline asked as he continued to attend to his normal business.

"Why? Gettin' annoyed?" Perfection batted his eyelashes innocently.

"No, it's just that you're usually off with Wanda, DM or the Misfits." Lifeline took a seat at his desk. "I don't believe I've even seen you in here since the time you briefly lost your powers."

"Huh." Perfection shrugged as he pocketed his gaming system. "Well, I guess you could say the little stinker her intrigues me."

"Considering the damage you did to Downtown Bayville, I'm actually not surprised by that." Hawk said as he came in with two well dressed adults behind him.

"Where is my son? Where is Stanley?" The man spoke with such an aristocratically Boston accent that it almost melted Perfection's ears o the spot.

"He's right here Senator Ipkiss." Hawk led the distraught parents to their son.

"Oh, I knew we shouldn't have let him finish up high school in Bayville!" Mrs. Ipkiss, a short woman in a vibrantly pink dress with matching pearls and gloves that made her look like a Jackie Onassis wannabe, had a voice that literally shattered the Scion of Chaos and drew the attention of the worried parents.

"And just who the h-e-double-hockey-stick is he?" Senator Ipkiss jumped back in disgust and shock.

"The pain..." The tiny broken shards of Perfection managed to squeak out. "Ohhh… theee paaaaaiiiin…"

"Lifeline, could you please get that idiot to behave?" Hawk groaned.

"Actually General I think he really is in pain." Lifeline blinked as he picked up a dust pan and broom and went over to the shattered Scion.

"Nope…" Perfection appeared behind lifeline as the former vestige of himself turned to glass, "Just really put off by the nails on chalk-board voices those two have."

"Excuse me?" Senator Ipkiss raised his voice and Perfection responded by warping his body in a comically cartoonish way. "But what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means for two lumpkins from Jersey, ya sure sound like a really live Bostonian." Cardinal appeared from a random spot in the floor. "Ain't that right Spaz?"

"Well to put it lightly: no, they really do sound like nails on a chalk board." Spaz floated through a wall. The two ghosts had arrived shortly after Stanley was brought to the base; apparently Wraith was in need of the extra help.

"Good lord Jethro! They're ghosts on this base!" Mrs. Ipkiss shouted in fear.

"Don't forget the mutants." Pietro zoomed in carrying a rope made of bras.

"Hey…" Perfection noticed a particular bra out of the bunch. "Isn't that your sister's?"

"Yeah-you-have-no-idea-how-hard-that-one-was-to-get." Pietro then zoomed out.

"Oh, then there's the genetically modified and created super-assassin!" Arcade came wandering in carrying a rope made of underwear. "As well as me; the human who likes the blue pills."

"Excuse me?" Jethro Ipkiss took a step back in fear.

"The blue ones make everything sparkly…" Then Arcade ran out of the room.

"I have a terrible feeling the next people to come in here won't be happy…" Spaz looked at the trailing ropes of underwear in concern.

"Really, I have the feeling my Wanda is somewhere involving hot water and steam." Perfection giggled as Lance came wandering through with all of the girls' shirts tied together.

"Heh, this'll teach'em to go on boxer raids…" Lance cackled. And to no one added; "Yes, I'm aware she's going to hurt me and her too. I KNOW IT ALREADY NOW SHUT UP!"

"Who was that young man yelling at?" The Senator's wife asked in utter shock.

"Invisible Coyote." Perfection explained.

"You know about that thing?" Hawk asked in surprise.

"Yeah, Lance told me when he explained his art painting to me. Well that and he's kinda real, just on a slightly higher plane of existence." Perfection smiled as Barney and Claudius came crawling through with the girls pants tied together.

"Well they're starting at young age…" Lifeline blinked again as he sat back at his desk.

"Wow… That's actually new for me." Perfection chuckled.

"Dear Lord, this place is a mad-house!" The Senator turned a bright beat red. "How could you even think to bring my son to such an un-safe location?"

"Senator," Hawk explained "It was either here or a state holding facility and considering your son has come into contact with an item of immense magickal proportion, I don't think the latter was even an option."

"Magic?" The Senator laughed. "Don't be absurd!"

"Oh how wonderful! You believe in ghosts and imaginary coyotes, but magick is for fairy tales, am I correct?" Spaz floated over to the Senator.

"Stay away from me you unholy specter!" The senator made a cross with his fingers.

"Oh please, even if I was considered unholy that would do little to avert me. Make me angry, sure, but that's about it." Spaz slapped the senator with an invisible hand, "Next time keep in mind your company when you insult magick or you might find yourself with a lightning bolt up your derrière."

The senator was about to respond when Stanley gave a tired groan and propped himself up. "Why does it feel like I was sumo wrestling with Godzilla?"

Hawk and Lifeline cast a look of suspicion to Perfection.

"What? It's a time honored tradition in Japan!" Perfection defended himself.

"Listen, kid, I know this is going to be a lot to take in, but…" Hawk stopped. "Where is that Mask thingy? It would make things a whole lot easier to explain."

"I dunno, I thought you guys took it." Perfection shrugged.

"Mask? You mean this thing?" Lifeline pulled a wooden mask from his drawer; it was shattered into several pieces.

Perfection could only stare at the pieces in shock and awe, and then he turned to Stanley. "Hey kid, you're family got any history of the X-Gene?"

"I should say not!" Jethro Ipkiss spoke up.

"Ok then, if this hurts, I owe you a new moon." Perfection said right as he tossed a giant chunk of rock onto Stanely.

"MY SON!" Both Ipkiss parents shouted.

"You killed my boy!" Jethro charged Perfection only to be held back by long rubbery arms.

"Chill out pops!" A very familiar green face popped out from under the rock. "He maybe a prankster king like myself, but he ain't gonna hurt anyone." And then under his breath, "At least not on purpose."

Jethro Ipkiss' response to his son's new looks was as follows: "AAAAAAAAHHHHH! GET THE GREEN MARBLE HEADED MONSTER OFF OF ME!"

"Dad!" Stanley said as he put his father down, "It's me Stanley…"

"My son..." Jethro began "… is a FREAK?"

"No. Actually, he's the host for the Mask's magickal properties." Spaz explained as he looked through the pieces of broken wood. "It looks like someone slammed it into his face and forced all the magick into his body."

"Is there anyway to get it out and make him normal again?" Mrs. Ipkiss asked in concern.

"Well that depends…" Spaz started.

"On what? If you need an organ, blood or bone marrow, I'll give however much is needed!" Mrs. Ipkiss was close to tears.

"No, nothing like that, I just need the Loki of this world to make another wooden mask." Spaz explained.

"Not gonna happen!" A new figure stood in the room.

"Hi Loki." Perfection smiled. "How ya doin'?"

"Not to good, you know my dad really wanted me to find and destroy that chunk of wood, right?" Loki smiled; he looked eerily familiar to the Ipkiss family.

"Is that Alan Cumming?" The Senator whispered to his wife.

"I think that's the Norse God Loki, honey. So let's not make him angry, ok?"

"Ok." Senator Ipkiss nodded.

"Ok, so why aren't you gonna make another wooden mask?" Perfection asked as he crept closer to the God of Mischief.

"Simple, now the magick in the boy has a life-span, and when the boy dies, the magick comes back to moi."

"Well…" Perfection tried to make an arguing point but was distracted as a very angry Wanda in a towel came wondering in, behind her was Althea, Angelica, Lina and Cover-Girl, who was also holding a very enthralled Chybee who was chewing on one of Lance's boots.

"Wow…" Loki and Stanely both looked on with over-large cartoon eyes, while Perfection simply went over to Chybee, scooped the imp into his arms and pointed in the general direction that the boys had gone in and then the girls left with silent anger growing on their faces.

"Aww, why'd you have to do that? The one in front was hot…" Stanley commented only to get a boxing glove to the face.

"My Wanda, bad Stanley, bad!" Perfection said as he whapped Stanley on the face with a newspaper.

"Okies-day…" Stanley said as he raised his head up while little cartoon birds flew around him.

"So, the kid's stuck like this?" Hawk asked the very ticked off god.

"Well considering the Mask in this universe is ALREADY in Valhalla; yeah he's stuck like that."

"I will not have my son stuck as a freak!" Jethro shouted, but was silenced by Mrs. Ipkiss' purse to his head. "Ow! Dear!"

"Silence Jethro, our son has a gift." Then she turned to her son. "Stanley, you know we love you, but we can't take care of you when you can put our lives in danger, you know that right?"

"But ma, I can control it." Stanley pulled a bomb from a small pebble bag and blew himself up, only to be covered in soot. "Seeeeeee…" The stunned boy fell to the ground.

Loki gave a chuckle before he left. "If that's how he controls it I'd hate to see it controlling him!"

"Well, he could always join the Misfits, right Hawk?" Perfection gave an innocent smile as Chybee began to chew on Perfection arm.

"If he wants to and his parents approve it, sure, why not it can't get any worse around here." Hawk would later learn never to say those words, ever again.