Inter-LOAFERS: Dance-Dance-Feva!
By Xenomorph666
Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.
DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.
Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.
Universe: Misfit-Verse
Cobra Commander's Copyright Conundrum
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Cobra Commander shrieked as he turned off his TV. "THOSE LITTLE PISSANTS!"
"Problem Commander?" Destro asked as he walked in.
"Oh nothing big except that those idiots over at that station with that show about the dumb guy and the genius baby…" Cobra Commander tried explaining it.
"Family Guy on the Fox network?" Destro asked
"That one!" Cobra Commander said. "They just mocked me!"
"Commander, are you sure they were mocking you and not Fidel Castro, like last time." Destro sighed.
"The specifically used my image and the COBRA insignia!" Cobra Commander shouted. "I will not stand for this!"
"Shall we kidnap the heads of the corporation Commander?" Destro asked.
"No, then the Joes will just come and kick our butts." The Commander grumbled. "We need a smart plan, a stealthy plan, one that involves sneaky ways that we can rely on…"
"I shall contact Shr…" Destro was cut off.
"GET ME ZARTAN!" Cobra Commander shouted.
"Sir, we have ninjas now." Destro pointed out.
"I know but they're still getting settled in and I don't want to disturb them." Cobra Commander said. "Besides, I'll take any excuse to stay away from that new lunatic that Saki hired."
"New lunatic?" Destro sighed again. "Who is it now?"
"Remember that show I really liked?" Cobra Commander asked.
"You mean The Weakest Link?" Destro guessed.
"No, the cartoon with the teens who fought pollution." Cobra Commander said. "Well they're in our world now."
"Oh good lord." Destro groaned. "Who did he hire?"
"The one with the robot fetish." Cobra Commander shuddered.
"Oh god…" Destro groaned again.
"Oh that's nothing, apparently the nuclear one tried to take on the Hulk." Cobra Commander laughed.
"Really?" Destro blinked. "I didn't think such stupidity was possible."
"Neither did I, but apparently it is." Cobra commander chuckled. "Anyway, get me Zartan."
"I'm afraid he's unavailable sir." Destro said, "Something about running from Red Ninjas with Mystique."
"Are those guys after him again?" Cobra Commander asked. "Man, can't they let an assassination go?"
"Apparently not." Destro shrugged. "Oh, uh we also have an application for you to review once more."
"Really who?" Cobra Commander took a portfolio that Destro handed him and opened it. "You have got to be kidding me."
"I am afraid not sir." Destro sighed.
"Well…" Cobra Commander started. "Now see, I don't know whether to gloat about him and shout in his face or just have him killed."
"Or you could simply not hire him and steal all his works." Destro said.
"Good idea Destro!" Cobra Commander perked up.
"I'll inform the ninjas on the base as to what we should need from him." Destro smiled. "And also another request form from the Australian base."
"Another one?" Cobra Commander looked over the form. "Kool-Aid in the pool? Who the hell authorized a pool?"
"I haven't the foggiest notion sir, but I suspect it's the same person who forged your signature on all these checks." Destro handed Cobra Commander a folder seven inches thick.
"Oh we are in deep doo-doo." Cobra Commander slumped in his chair. "Do we have any idea who did this?"
"A few sir." Destro said confidently. "Unfortunately they're all Zartan."
"Really?" Cobra Commander grumbled.
"Shall I have our ninjas add to the chase?" Destro asked.
"Yes, please do, but I want him alive. Mystique too." Cobra Commander sighed.
"Something wrong sir?" Destro asked.
"Well we still haven't resolved what we're going to do about that show that mocked me." The Commander said.
"Well, we could always send in a group of BATs to attack their studio headquarters." Destro said as he noticed a small hooded form in the corner behind the Commander. "Uh, hello there, and you are?"
The form walked forward as its eyes glowed red. "I'm L.B., and I hear you're on the look out for some justice concerning a joke made in poor taste."
"How the hell did you know that?" Cobra Commander asked before he started to recognize the small form. "Wait, you look like that green ghost guy."
"Wraith's my elder brother." L.B. said, "But don't worry he doesn't much care what I do so long as it doesn't involve his friends."
"Oh, how very convenient for you." Cobra Commander said. "What does that have to do with us?"
"Well, I was thinking for a few grand I might start a few 'problems' at the studio that has you so concerned." L.B. held up a schematic.
"Or we could steal them and not hire you." The Commander nodded to Destro who grabbed at the schematics, only to have his hand pass through them.
"Or you could let the ghost do his work and pony up 20 Grand." L.B. said dryly.
"That's it?" Cobra Commander asked. "Destro, cut a check for the kid, and put him on our contact list if he does a good job."
"Excellent, you won't be disappointed." L.B. chuckled. "Just wait a few weeks for maximum results.
"Well…" The Commander seemed dubious. "All right, but no back stabbing."
"Wouldn't dream of it." L.B. made a cross over his heart. "Besides you happen to be one of my favorite flesh-sacks in this universe."
"Uh…" Cobra Commander was slightly stunned. "Ok, thanks… I think."
After Destro signed the check L.B. vanished and left the two Cobra leaders alone.
"You ever get that feeling that we just got gypped?" Cobra Commander asked Destro.
"I hope not, he actually seemed competent." Destro said. "Oh and sir, a request form from base 4,673; they want more satellite channels."
"More?" Cobra Commander shrieked,"They already have SHOWTIME AND HBO for goodness sake!"
"The report says they want Lifetime pay-per-view as well." Destro blinked. "Sir I suggest we test the food for contaminants."
"Yes, and test the sanity of whoever is in charge over there." Cobra Commander said in a shocked manner.
"That would be Major Bludd sir." Destro said.
"Oh goody…" Cobra Commander slouched forward. "Can we have him shot yet?"
"No sir, I'm afraid his contract is still valid for life." Destro said.
"Maybe the ninjas can kill him…" The Commander sobbed.
"It still counts as us killing him sir." Destro pointed out. "We'd owe seventeen different charities seventy million dollars each, as stated in his contract."
"Oh well." Cobra Commander sighed as he opened the large folder. "I better get started on filing these fake checks."
"Very good sir, I shall come back at noon with the afternoon report then?" Destro asked.
"Better make it one." Cobra Commander said, "I want see this giant sign that washed up on shore first." And Destro left the Commander to sob into the pile of fake checks. "My money…"
