Chapter 11

Kitty woke early the next morning and readied herself quickly. She was immensely curious to discover what had caused Mr. Cadogan's tears the night before. She went to the dining room and found Mr. Cadogan in his usual spot reading the paper.

"Good morning Miss Kitty." he said not looking up from his paper.

"Good morning, have you already eaten breakfast?" she asked puzzled at not seeing any form of food in front of him.

"No, I thought we might buy a pastry or muffin on our walk." he said still staring at his paper.

"Oh, that is a delightful idea. I enjoy the smells of the bakery so much it would be fun to go in and taste something. I'll just go get my bonnet and we can be off." she smiled brightly as she left the room

Within minutes they were on their way. The air was a bit crisp but the sun was shining brightly on them. They kept silent until they reached a nearby park, when Kitty realized she could no longer hold her tongue.

"Mr. Cadogan, forgive me, but I noticed you crying last evening, what was it that upset you? If you don't wish to answer, of course I understand." she said, hoping that he would answer.

"No, no, that is what our walks are for. I must admit I am a bit embarrassed that you caught me in tears, but I suppose it is a good enough place to start the story." he breathed deeply and then began. "My wife, Amelia, had become ill during the last trimester of her pregnancy. She was to keep to her bed with no exceptions, the doctors were afraid that the baby might be unhealthy if she continued to move around. The doctors also thought that after she delivered she would be back to normal and that her sickness was merely caused by the fatigue of pregnancy. I tried not to worry, and continued to be joyful about our new addition. Finally she gave birth to Hannah in a brutal delivery, Hannah, was perfectly healthy to our relief. Amelia however, did not begin to recover, in fact she became worse, much worse. I sent for the doctor, who confirmed my greatest fear, I only had a few more weeks with my beloved, unless something miraculous occurred." he paused, struggling to go on. "She was not contagious so she was allowed to see Hannah. I can still picture her cradling Hannah in her arms singing a soft lullaby, it was the only thing that would soothe Hannah's tears. When I saw you singing to Hannah last evening, that picture came to my mind so quickly."

"Mr. Cadogan, I am so sorry, I had no idea, I would have never sang to her if I had known what a memory it would bring." Kitty apologized profusely, feeling horrible for her actions.

"Please, don't apologize, as you said, you didn't know. It also seems as though singing still soothes my little girl when she is upset. And I hate for her to be upset, even if it does bring back memories of her mother."

They remained silent for a moment, and not knowing what else to say, Kitty asked another question. "How did you meet your wife?" she was trying to get him on a happier subject.

It seemed as though she had succeeded as his face lit up with new enthusiasm. "She lived in a nearby estate and once she was introduced to society we met. I can still remember the first time I saw her, she was dancing and she had beautiful curls falling out of her pinned up hair. She danced so gracefully, she was stunning, I knew from that moment she was special. I worked up my courage and asked her to dance. I feel as though I knew I loved her from the very first step of the dance. Her smile, and her eyes, those eyes." he paused for a moment, seeming to see her eyes again in his memory. "After that dance I became a frequent guest in her home. I spend almost every afternoon in her parlor, I couldn't get enough of her, her laugh, her personality, her incredible zeal about everything. Two years later, I gained the courage to ask for her hand in marriage, which I was most anxiously given. We were married shortly after, and within two months she was pregnant. We had no more then a year together in our happiness." This thought caused him to remain silent after he finished. He seemed to be grieving her again, so Kitty remained silent in respect for his feelings until he spoke again.

"Forgive me Miss Kitty, I am completely ignoring you." he gave her half a smile. "Are you ready for breakfast?"

"Yes of course." she smiled. "And you needn't worry about ignoring me, sometimes it's just nice to have someone to walk beside. Oh no! Mr. Cadogan, I've forgotten my money." she said suddenly realizing. "I will of course accompany you to the bakery."

"Don't be silly Miss Kitty, it would be my pleasure to buy you something. You are after all a most willing walking companion."

They walked to the bakery quickly as they both discovered they were terribly hungry. Once there Kitty ordered a blueberry muffin and Mr. Cadogan got some sort of strawberry filled pastry. They sat at a table and discussed frivolous things while they finished eating. Kitty even managed to get a laugh out of Mr. Cadogan while telling of one of her silly episodes, a very small laugh, but still a great improvement on his normal temperament. After their breakfast outing they walked back to the house, figuring everyone would be up shortly.

The house was buzzing when they entered. Hannah was eating her breakfast, and everyone else was talking. Kitty took off her bonnet and went upstairs, she had some letter writing to catch up on. She needed to write her mother and inform her of what was happening in the household. Mr. Cadogan joined everyone in the dining room and helped with feeding his daughter. After they arrived, Mary slipped out and went into the parlor to continue reading her book. She was fascinated with it, and could barely put it down.

Shortly after Mary began reading the front bell rang, and Mr. Rawlins was once again waiting to be let in. It seemed that they saw more of him then they did of the Bingley's or the Darcy's. At first it irritated Mary, but she was finding herself looking forward to her discussions with him. Despite the fact that he was intolerable, he was still intelligent, which, went a long way for Mary Bennet.

"Good day Mr. Rawlins." Mary smiled, looking up from her book at his announcement.

"Good afternoon, I see you've been reading." he smiled, sitting down next to her.

"Oh yes, I am enjoying it very much. Quite a lot to think about."

"I'm glad you like it. I was wondering if you would like to join me for a walk. We could discuss the book, and there is a shop I'd like to visit, I think you'd enjoy it as well. You see, I can never persuade my other friends to accompany me there."

"Well that makes me wonder a bit about the nature of the shop. I feel almost as though I should not agree to go without further knowledge of it's contents."

"No, no, I'd like for you to be surprised, and I promise, it is nothing bad, by any means. Just the type of shop that some, may consider, boring."

"Ah I see. Very well then, I will trust you, but if you mislead me Mr. Rawlins, you will lose my trust for quite some time." she smiled.

"Yes ma'am."

"I warn you, I have not yet finished the book, so I may be a poor companion in discussing it on the walk." she confessed.

"I haven't either. So we'll be able to discuss without ruining the ending." he laughed.

"I also warn you, I do not take pleasure in many things, so this shop of yours is very likely to be a failure."

"You are to harsh, I am confident that you will take pleasure in this."

"Then I suppose I shall go and fetch my bonnet." she said rising slowly.

Mary gathered her things and announced that she was leaving. She and Mr. Rawlins were soon on their way and Mary anticipated their destination. No one had ever attempted to surprise her before, and she had an odd liking for it. They talked about the beginning of the book for quite some time, which was just about enough conversation to bring them to the store front. Mary stood staring at the building and still couldn't figure out what was inside.

"Shall we go in?"

"If you insist." she said, a bit weary.

They stepped inside to find hundreds upon hundreds of books. The smell of old paper filled Mary's nose as she turned slowly to take it all in. Books piled high on shelves with ladders leaning against them in ever color. She breathed sharply, shocked by it all, she was utterly amazed, speechless.

"Well go ahead, pick whatever you'd like." Mr. Rawlins was obviously enjoying his triumph.

Mary staggered toward a shelf and began to read through the titles on the book bindings. She looked for over an hour and had finally decided on three books which she would buy with her summer allowance. For some reason the look of all the books on the shelves absolutely mesmerized Mary and she had trouble allowing herself to walk to the front of the store where Mr. Rawlins stood waiting.

"Are you sure your finished?" he laughed as she approached him slowly.

"Yes, quite." she smiled.

"Very well, here, allow me." he said, offering to pay for her things.

"Oh Mr. Rawlins I couldn't allow you to do that."

"I insist."

"No, sir, please. I mean no disrespect, but you have already bought me one book which is more then enough kindness. Please, do allow me to buy my own things."

"Very well." he was amused at her rejection, and thought nothing of it, other then another side of the strong willed Miss Bennet.

They left the store and Mary was filled with excitement. She had never been to a bookstore before. The sight of all those books absolutely bewildered her. They talked about things completely unrelated to books on the walk home and Mary spoke with an enthusiasm not even she realized she possessed.

"What is it you enjoy doing, other then reading Miss Bennet?" Mr. Rawlins asked.

"I adore music." she smiled.

"And do you play?"

"Oh yes, when I am at home I practice for hours. Time seems to slip away when I am at the piano-forte, I never quite realize how long I've been there until my mother or sister reminds me. I am not as good as Mrs. Burton, but I try."

"I shall have to hear you sometime. It sounds as though you are a great proficient."

"I promise you, I am not. But if you wish to hear me play, I would be glad to."

"Now, let me think of another question, I find you quite interesting Miss Bennet. Ah, do you hope to be married? Or are you attached to any young gentleman at present, perhaps at home?"

"Marriage, heavens no. I have no desire to be married, in my limited experience I find men to be completely ridiculous. I couldn't stand to be married to a man who couldn't think. And I care nothing of the frivolities of life that most women do, which, I find, leaves me quite unable to recommend myself to men, should I want one. Lucky for me, I do not."

"First let me thank you for brutally abusing my sex." he laughed. "And second, I take it that your answer means that you are currently unattached?"

"Yes, quite, I am sorry for being so cruel, I did not mean to include you with the general population."

"Ah, well I thank you for that. And may I say, if it is not to bold. That you have plenty to recommend yourself to men, should you want one, you are very pretty Miss Bennet."

Mary blushed, "Well thank you, but perhaps that was to bold."

They continued walking and Mary made sure they kept to less embarrassing subjects. They talked of their homes and their families and other details that were really harmless. Although, Mary had never shared these details with anyone before, besides her sisters, Mr. Rawlins was her first friend. She had always scared away girls and boys that lived in Hertfordshire because she was so severe upon first meeting a person.

"Thank you very much Mr. Rawlins, I took a great deal of pleasure in your surprise."

"I knew you would. And thank you for accompanying me." he smiled.

"The Burtons are having a dinner party on Friday, will you come?" she asked. "I get so bored because usually no one has anything sensible to say, it would be lovely to have someone with a brain to talk to."

"Then of course I shall come. Perhaps, we'll both have finished the book by then, and we can talk about that."

"Oh of course."

"Until then Miss Bennet, good day." he bowed and watched her enter the house, then walked away as she closed the door.

While Mary was gone, Kitty had written to her mother. It had taken her quite a while to fashion the perfect letter. She wanted to make sure to give all of the exciting details. Her mother absolutely adored gossip, especially when it had anything to do with the prospect of marrying off her two remaining daughters.

Dearest Mama,

London is wonderful, so diverting and full of things to entertain. Since we have been here, Jane and Lizzy have bought Mary and I four dresses each, so we can be fashionable here in town. Something I imagine, that will greatly help us in finding the perfect gentlemen. We have already attended our first ball, which was simply magical. You would not believe the grandure of the room, or of the people in it. While at the ball, I met the most handsome young gentleman. His name is Mr. Lowell and he is absolutely charming. He has come to call once since then, and I can see myself becoming quite attached. What's more, I believe he may be interested in me! I shall write again if there is any more news regarding Mr. Lowell. And here is something to shock you. Mary has also made a new gentleman friend. She thinks him overbearing and rude, but he is very intellectual, which makes him really quite perfect for her. He has called every day since the ball, and has even bought her a gift, a book, which Mary loves. I must be going, there is much to do. I hope you enjoyed my report. Say hello to Papa for me.

Your Loving Daughter

Kitty