Chapter 15

Kitty got ready and came down the stairs in her usual way, but this morning, something was different. As she got down the steps she saw that Mr. Cadogan was sitting in a chair that was directly blocking the front door. Kitty tried to sneak into the dining room to avoid him, and exit from the back door, but a creaking stair gave her away, Mr. Cadogan looked up immediately.

"Miss Kitty, I need to speak with you." he said quickly.

"That is a shame, because I do not need to speak with you, and I do not wish to either." she said snobbishly.

Mr. Cadogan rose, grabbed Kitty by the shoulders and placed her in the chair he had been sitting in. "You do not have a choice in the matter, you will listen whether you wish to or not. After you have listened, you may do whatever you want with what I am going to say, but you will listen."

"I do not have to listen to you, you are not my father, or my husband." Kitty said standing indignantly.

He pushed her back down into the chair. "It's about Mr. Lowell, and you will listen."

"In that case, unless it's an apology, I refuse to listen!" she spat.

"Not an apology, proof."

"Proof of what?" Kitty said in an unbelieving tone.

"Proof that I was correct about the character of Mr. Lowell. While you have been ignoring me, I investigated my thoughts of his character. He is a gambler and greatly in debt, that is why he is in town. He has been taking extra money from his fathers tenants to pay his debtors. And..." he stopped, and his face softened. "He has been telling his friends that he is going to marry you, because of your brother in law Mr. Darcy."

"He what?" she uttered softly. She could not manage to get any other words out.

"I'm sorry Miss Kitty, but I had to tell you."

"Sorry for what? You've gotten your way, and made me feel like a fool, I'm sure you are very happy with yourself." she said getting up and running toward the stairs.

"Miss Kitty!" he called after her, but to no avail.

Kitty ran right to her room and slammed the door in anger and sadness, waking the whole house. She jumped onto her bed and wept into her pillow. Mary sat up slowly, not understanding what the commotion was about. After Kitty's cries had become less violent, Mary decided to ask what had happened.

"Kitty, are you alright?"

"No." Kitty answered through her sobs.

"What happened? It's so early, how could anything have happened to you already?" Mary said half to herself, very puzzled at her sisters misery.

"Mr. Lowell is Mr. Wickham and I am Lydia, stupid Lydia. I've fallen into her mannerisms again! I can't believe how stupid I am!" she cried.

Mary stared at her sister blankly, not understanding anything she was saying. "I am terribly confused, I don't understand what your saying."

"Apparently Mr. Lowell is a scoundrel, and he wanted to marry me because of my connection to Mr. Darcy. And I was in love with him! I would have said yes if he had asked for my hand."

"Ah." Mary said, suddenly understanding.

"That's all you can say? Are you not surprised at all?" Kitty said, amazed at her sister being so calm.

"Of course I am surprised, but you know I don't show emotion this early in the morning."

Kitty laughed a bit, then grew sad again. "I'm so angry at myself, Lizzy and Jane are going to be terribly disappointed in me, not to mention Father."

"No they won't be, we were all fooled by his calm temperament and smiles. Will you be alright?"Mary sat next to Kitty and placed her arm around her.

"Yes, I suppose I'll be fine, but I think I shall keep to my room for today."

"That sounds like a very good idea. I would be happy to keep you company if you'd like."

"No, no, it's alright. I will be fine by myself." Kitty managed a smile.

"Alright, if your sure. I suppose I should get ready, I have to go read to Charles."

"Is Mr. Rawlins joining you?" Kitty pried.

"If you must know yes, but don't take that to mean anything." Mary said, knowing where Kitty was going with her statement.

"Come Mary, you can tell me, you like him don't you."

"He is a friend, nothing more. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I don't want to be married. And how is speculating about me and Mr. Rawlings helping you feel better?"

"You know how I love gossip."

"I promise, you will be the first to know if I change my mind about marriage or Mr. Rawlins." Mary laughed.

Mary readied herself and continued to talk to Kitty. Getting her mind off Mr. Lowell seemed to help a great deal. After Mary left, Kitty settled in her bed and thought for a while. Eventually she decided that she needed to write a letter to her mother.

Mother,

Do not be alarmed by the content of this letter Mama, but I felt it necessary to inform you of something. I wrote previously, telling you that I had formed an attachment. Well, it seems that I was greatly decieved in his character. He seems to be somewhat like, Mr. Wickham. Fear not Mama, I plan to sever all acquaintance with him. I am a bit distressed because I didn't see it , but no one else did either. I hope you and Papa are doing well at Longbourne. Other than the heartbreak, I am doing quite well. Mary is also well, she spends much of her time with a gentle man named Mr. Rawlins. She insists there is no attachment, but I am not sure I believe her. We shall both see you at the end of summer.

Your Loving Daughter,

Kitty

After Kitty wrote the letter to her mother, she felt much better. Somehow gossiping about Mary's life made her forget about her grief. Despite feeling better, she decided to keep to her room. At lunch time Georgiana brought up a tray for Kitty.

"How are you my friend?" she asked, setting down the food.

"Alright I suppose."

"I'm sorry, I would have never introduced you to him if I had known. Will you forgive me?"

"Ana, it was not your fault, you had no idea." Kitty laughed.

"Are you sure your alright? I know how much you liked him."

"I do not want to end up like my sister. I liked a person who does not exist, not the scoundrel he really is."

"Thank goodness Kitty." Georgiana sighed.

The two friends continued to talk for a while and then Georgiana was called away from Mr. Burton. Later Kitty was informed that everyone was going for dinner at the Darcy's. She decided she would rather stay home and not have to explain anything to anyone. When she heard the door close downstairs, she went downstairs to have her own dinner at the table. As she entered the dining room, she came face to face with Mr. Cadogan.

"Oh I thought everyone had left." Kitty said quickly.

"Hannah isn't feeling well, I decided to stay home with her."

"Oh." Kitty stood awkwardly silent for a moment and then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for the way I acted."

Mr. Cadogan smiled. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have told you like that, or said anything about it before I knew the facts. But, I couldn't let you marry him, you deserve better."

"Thank you Mr. Cadogan, I appreciate you looking out for my best interest."

"I knew that if my sister were attached to such a man, I would have wanted someone to do that for her."

"Are you saying you think of me as a sister?" Kitty blushed.

"You have become a very dear friend. And, to that point, in regard to your accusation the other day. Miss Kitty, please know that I do want you to be happy. I am in no way trying to come in the way of your future happiness, when you find a man who truly deserves you, I will be the first to congratulate you." he smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Cadogan, that really means a lot to me."

"So, does this mean I have my friend back? And that you aren't going to ignore me anymore?"

"Yes Mr. Cadogan." Kitty laughed.

"Would you care to eat dinner with me then?"

"Certainly, I've had to much silence for one day." she laughed.

"And, we haven't talked in over a week. You know what happened this week reminded me of my first argument with Amelia, my only argument with her." he smiled in remembrance.

"What were you arguing about?"

"A necklace." he laughed.

"So foolish, what happened?"

"We had come to London for a bit of a vacation, she had some friends she wanted to visit, so we came. Little did I know she wanted to come to tell me and her friends that she was with child. So she told me and I was absolutely overjoyed! While she took a nap, I went out and bought her a beautiful necklace, blue sapphire. When I gave it to her, she got so mad at me."

"Why?" Kitty asked, absolutely astonished that anyone would get so angry over something so beautiful.

"She was angry because she didn't want anything, all she wanted was a baby and felt that was a gift enough. She wanted me to buy something for the baby, a rattle or a blanket. She yelled at me for quite a while and eventually I started laughing, and then she started laughing. Needless to say we both realized how foolish we were being."

"Perhaps she was out of sorts, pregnancy does very strange things to people at times." Kitty laughed, thinking about Lizzy and Janes emotions during their pregnancies.

"You could be right. I never saw my wife cry so much as when she was pregnant."

"Both of my sisters were the same way." she laughed.

The continued talking for some time. Mr. Cadogan continued to tell stories of his wife and Kitty almost completely forgot about Mr. Lowell. She didn't know why she had been so upset with Mr. Cadogan, he truly was a good friend, how could she have ever doubted his motives. After a while, Hannah began to cry.

"May I?" Kitty asked.

"Of course, I think she has missed you Miss Kitty." he smiled.

"Me?"

"Oh yes, she has really taken to you. I can tell she likes you."

Kitty went upstairs quickly and gathered Hannah up from her crib. The child was obviously hungry, so Kitty took her downstairs to get her a bottle. As she walked downstairs, she noticed people talking. After listening for a moment, she realized it was Mr. Cadogan and Victoria Willoby. Kitty really disliked Miss Willoby, she was so... pushy.

Kitty went with Hannah to the kitchen and sat with her while her bottle warmed. To keep her quiet, Kitty discovered Hannah's like for the game peek-a-boo. Wen the bottle was finally finished, Kitty rocked the baby lightly while she slurpped her bottle. Hannah cooed peacefully for a bit after she finished and then began to drift off to sleep. Kitty left the kitchen and was going to take Hannah back to her crib.

"Where have you been?" Mr. Cadogan said, seeing her coming from the dining room.

"I was giving Hannah her bottle." Kitty said, confused at his question.

"I thought you were going to bring her in so she could sit with us."

"Well I heard you had company, and I could tell she was hungry, so I just took her to the kitchen."

"It was only Victoria Willoby."

Kitty gave him a look of unbelief. "Well anyhow, Hannah is asleep, I was just going to take her to her crib." she began to move up the stairs.

"Um, Miss Kitty, how did you know she was hungry?"

"The way she was crying." Kitty answered matter of factly. She continued up the stairs and put Hannah in her crib. She sat for a moment in the rocker. Hannah looked so peaceful sleeping. While looking at her, Kitty realized how much she wanted her own child. Perhaps if she could not find a husband, she could apply to become a governess and become a kind of surrogate mother.

Everyone arrived home while Kitty sat with Hannah. Kitty went down and sat with them for a while. She explained about what happened with Mr. Lowell, everyone was sympathetic and Kitty assured them all she was ok. She went to sleep after a while, and really wasn't upset over Mr. Lowell. Perhaps she had never loved him after all.