"Freeze!" I yelled, and everyone stopped suddenly. And I'll tell ya, they were all scared!
"Drop your weapons!" I said, pulling the Lego gun out of the back of my pants smoothly, and pointing it at the dentist. Yes, that's right. The dentist!
All the other survivors looked around at each other in confusion. I found this extremely rude, they were supposed to be watching me!
'Be alarmed!" I said, - just as the front of my gun broke off - "I have hidden dangerous explosives around the cave.. AND THEY COULD HURT YOU!"
The crowd gasped, listening to my orders for sake of their dear lives!
'Give me some of that tasty cow meat your cooking!" I demanded, and the dentist - his name is Jake - went to cut of some.
"It's boar," he remarked, serving me the cow.
"And 'cow-meat' is called beef." The fat guy finished flatly, as there was murmuring amongst the gathering.
"You'd know." I muttered, snatching the boar of the man in front of me.
The fat guy stood up.
'Dude,"He said loudly,holding up my bottle rocket, "Is this your dangerous explosive?"
Mr Key, the old bald guy took the rocket of fatty, and examined it carefully.
"Why it appears to be a bottle attatched to three peices of wood, containing a squeezed lemon, with a lightning bolt drawn on it!"
Everyone gasped.
"Fraud!" The redneck screamed girlishly, as I chewed quietly on my cow-meat.
"I have a gun?" I said as the crowd cornered me.
"..." Jake said firmly.
At that moment, the cave exploded, blowing all the island inhabitants up and out the top, but we all landed on our feet.
The trees around the cave were burning. "Is everyone OK?" The dentist asked, and then said something like "I don't want to have to fix your teeth!"..but I didn't really catch it.
"The dynamite!" I screeched, "It must have come in contact with the fire!"
"Theres only one thing to do." The redneck said wisely, assuming leadership position...
"PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!"
There was a cheer from the crowd, and suddenly the island was lit with lava lamps, as disco balls drooped from the sky. Shannon-looking girls in bikini's on Rollerblades danced around offering out drinks, and even Mr and Mrs Lostzilla came to party!
"Sing me happy birthday!" I demanded, and the reggae music stopped and the Barney version of Happy Birthday was played. The castaways reluctantly sang to me, and I danced around with the Peanut-Butter rock star in the middle of the dance floor.
My master plan had worked, And I got the birthday I wanted all thanks to..the REDNECK?
