37

Edward sat in the corner of the bedroom, watching Bella sleep, or not sleep. All depended on the moment. The last fourteen days had been excruciatingly hard for her. She was halfway through phase one of the trial, and it hadn't been easy. Her body was stiff and sore, her arms and legs cramped, and it hadn't mattered how much water she drank, or how many IV's with saline she had, she her body hurt all the time. He had hoped after the first infusion, her body would adjust, but it hadn't. If anything, each infusion was harder than the one before.

"No . . . no, Edward. . . . Come back!" Bella screamed, her body arching off the mattress before flopping back against it.

Hurrying to his feet, Edward climbed onto the bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her. Her head lobbed to the side, her eyes opening and she smiled, though he could see the struggle in just the simple facial gesture. She had dark circles under her eyes and her lips were dry, chapped.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice hoarse and soft at the same time. "You're here."

"Where else would I be?" he asked, bringing a hand up to and pushing her hair out of her face. She winced at his touch. "Sorry."

"S'okay," she slurred, but rolled so that she was facing him, laying her head against his chest. "What time is it?"

"Just after seven," he said. "We need to leave for your appointment soon."

Bella cried and pressed herself against him. "I don't want to go."

"I know, sweetheart," he whispered. "But we have to."

Whimpering, she titled her head back, looking up at him. "Why do you love me?"

"Because you're strong and brave and beautiful," he told her.

"I'm not," she murmured, though he didn't think she meant for him to hear her.

Edward climbed out of bed, walking around and helping her sit up. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath, the simple motion had her cringing. "Come on. I'll help you into the shower."

"Okay," Bella whispered.

Edward wrapped his arm around her and heaved her off the bed. Bella leaned against him like a rag doll. He dragged her into the bathroom, setting her on the toilet before reaching over and turning on the water. He turned back to Bella, frowning when he saw her leaning against the vanity, her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around herself.

"Let me help you with your shirt," he said, reaching for the hem of her, or his, tee. Her eyes opened and she raised her arms, allowing him to slip the shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra. She said it hurt too much, and he didn't push it. "Can you stand?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Put your hands on my shoulders," he told her, and she did. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her onto her feet. She groaned, her grip on his shoulder tightening. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Hurry," she cried, her nails digging into his shoulder.

Edward quickly slipped her shorts and panties off, allowing her to sit back down before he pulled them off from around her ankles. He tossed them onto the floor and stuck his hand in the water to make sure it wasn't too hot, or too cold. Edward stood up and stripped off his own clothes before helping her back to her feet and into water. Bella shivered, her body pressing against his.

Keeping his arm wrapped around her, Edward used his other hand to tilt her head back under the water. "Is it too hot?"

"No," she breathed, her eyes closing. "Why do you love me?"

"Because you let me see you naked," he teased, causing her to smile and open her eyes. "Because when I'm with you, I want to be the man you deserve."

"And what kind of man do I deserve?" she whimpered, and he saw the tears swimming in her eyes.

"The kind of man who says he's sorry when he knocks you into the sand, or spills beer down your back," he whispered, causing her to laugh. "What kind of man who does shit like that?"

"A handsome one," Bella murmured, placing her hands on his chest. "A man who makes me want to live."

"I do that?" he asked, and she nodded. "Oh, I'm glad."

"Why does that make you glad?"

"Because I can't imagine a world where you don't exist."

"That's cheesy as shit," she giggled, groaning. "Everything hurts, Edward."

"I know, sweetheart. Let's hurry."

—BDBH—

Edward managed to get Bella to eat some fruit before she took her meds and he helped her to the car, taking her to Carlisle's office for her next infusion. She sat curled up in the passenger seat, her knees against her chest, her arms tucked between them and her body, her head leaning against the window and her eyes closed. Edward reached over, laying his hand on her knee, causing her to smile.

"Tell me a story, Edward," she whispered.

"Um," He paused, looking from her to the road. "Right after my parents broke up, my dad was supposed to pick me up for a visit. He had promised that he would take me to this amusement park a few miles from where I lived, but he never showed up. My mom had tried to call him like a hundred times, but he never answered, I guess. And, um, I could tell she was angry. I figured she just wanted me out of her way, but she grabbed her bag and took . . . took me. We had the best times, Bella. We rode every ride a hundred times and pigged out on funnel cakes and cotton candy," he laughed, looking over at her, frowning when he saw the tears on her face. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"He hurt you," she whimpered. "How could he hurt you like that, Edward?"

"How could your mom leave you twice?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, Bella. I just don't know. I guess, like with your mom, he just didn't love me enough to be my dad."

"At least you have Peter, right?"

Edward frowned and nodded, turning the car into the parking lot of Carlisle's office. "It hasn't always been easy with him, but when I needed him, he's there, so. . ."

"You're lucky," she whispered, looking out the window. "I wish my dad were here."

"Me too," he said, thickly.

Edward climbed out of the car and hurried around to Bella's side, opening the door and helping her out. She whimpered again as she leaned against him. He knew she would refuse a wheelchair, not wanting to be seen as weak, even though physically she was struggling. Edward kept his arm around her, trying to ease some of the pressure as they slowly walked across the parking lot and into the building.

When they stepped off the elevator, Edward groaned inwardly when he saw Esme, Alice, Jasper, and Rose once again waiting with Carlisle and Emmett. He didn't begrudge their support, he welcomed it, but it had been hard enough on Bella without adding them in her face all the time. Still, he didn't say anything. She was important to them.

"You okay, sis?" Esme asked, slowly walking over to them. She reached for Bella's arm, but pulled back when Bella whimpered. "Bells."

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm sorry, Essie."

"Let's get her into the back," Carlisle said, placing his hand on Esme's back, trying to reassure her in his own way that she was okay. Esme's lips trembled as she nodded, and moved backward, falling into Alice and Rose's arms. They would take care of Esme, while he took care of Bella.

Edward half carried, half dragged Bella down the hallway and into their usual room, ignoring the pity coming from Carlisle's staff. Bella would hate the way they watched her. Once they were inside the room, Edward gently lifted her and laid her into the chair, but when he tried to move out of the way, she reached up and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Don't leave me," she begged, her eyes wide and filled with tears.

"Never," he murmured, lifting her and sitting with her in his lap. When he eyeballed Carlisle and Emmett, to see if they were going to challenge him, they simply shook their heads.

"I want to take some blood," Emmett said, pulling the rolling stool up next to them. "Check your levels."

"Okay," Bella breathed, barely able to get the word out as her arm flopped out. She was covered with bruises from her treatments.

Emmett frowned as he found a vein and stuck her IV. He filled two vials with blood before flushing it and attaching the tubing that would deliver her treatment. He hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him, and leaving just Edward and Bella alone.

"Don't leave me, Edward," she mumbled, nestling herself in his arms as she drifted asleep.

"Never," he whispered, catching Carlisle's eye before pressing his lips against Bella's head. "Never, sweetheart."

—BDBH—

Bella managed to sleep through the majority of her treatment without waking up. Edward held her the entire time, even though he wasn't very comfortable. She was worth a little discomfort.

Emmett and Carlisle checked on them several times, and he knew they were reporting back to Esme, Alice, Jasper, and Rose how she was doing, how he was doing. None of them would really understand how hard the last fourteen days had been. Mostly on Bella, of course. She suffered through Hell for the chance to live. After all of this, the trial had to work.

The door opened and Emmett and Carlisle walked in just as Bella started stirring in Edward's arms.

"Hey," she whispered, trying to smile.

"Hey, Swan," Carlisle said, sitting on the stool and placing his hand on top of hers. "You okay?"

"No," she whimpered. "Tell me it's working. Tell me it's worth it."

"It's working," Carlisle blurted out.

"Liar," Bella tittered, shaking her head.

"It's not not working," he grumbled. "Blood work shows your iron level to be a little too low, which could be a side effect of the infusion. Liver function, kidneys all seem to be holding up okay." Carlisle gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I know it's hard, Swan, but you're doing amazing."

"Amazing?" Bella scoffed, slipping her hand out of Carlisle's, laying it on Edward's chest, her fingers curling around the front of his shirt. "I'm not strong enough, Carlisle. I'm not. I'm dying, a little more every day. Make it stop. Please, make it stop!"

"I wish I could," Carlisle whimpered, and it was the first time Edward saw how much he cared for Bella, and not just because she was the little sister of the love his life, but because Bella's impact on every person she came into contact with was deep and personal. "We're not giving up on you, Swan," he added, leaning over and kissing the side of her head. "Don't give up on us."

Bella wept harder, her tears seeping into the front of his shirt. Edward held her tighter as he stood up, carrying her past Carlisle and Emmett, past his staff, out into the waiting room, and past their family, friends, who wanted to help, but couldn't. Not right now. Right then, all she needed was Edward, and all he needed was her.

Edward carried her down to the car, gently placing her in the passenger seat, before hurrying around and climbing in the behind the wheel. Bella leaned across the middle console, wrapping her body around his as much as she could, still weeping against him.

"Hold on, Sweetheart," he murmured, starting the car and shifting into reverse. Once in drive, he draped his arm across her, letting her hold onto him as he pulled out of parking lot and heading for the freeway. A few minutes later, he pulled up outside of Ka hanu o ka'ānela. Hurrying around to the passenger side, he lifted Bella out of the car, carrying her through the brush, and onto the beach.

"It's so beautiful," she whispered, her lips curving into a smile.

"It is." Edward carried her down close to the water, sitting with her in his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder, her eyes closing. "Almost as beautiful as you."

Bella smiled, her head resting against his chest. "Tell me what it's going to be like, Edward?"

"What, sweetheart?"

"What it's going to be like to live?"

Edward's eyes filled with tears and he leaned his cheek against the top of her head as he spoke. "We'll wake up every morning in each other's arms, and fall asleep after making love. You'll teach me how to surf, and I'll teach you how to drive my motorcycle."

"Sounds fun," she giggled, nestling herself against him. "What else?"

His lips trembled as he said, "We travel, and we'll have babies, and love and laugh, and be happy."

Bella's body shook with sobs as Edward detailed their lives, hoping and praying that every word he spoke was true.

I'm not crying, you're crying! Thank you for all the reviews. Our sweet Edward and Bella are going through the hardest trial of all, aren't they?