Disclaimer: I take full credit for what me and my mind come up with – things such as characters, bits of exploding scenery, etc. – the rest I give due credit to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Gaston Leroux, and Susan Kay.
What Would Erik Do?
Erik vs. the paperclip
Erik was striding angrily along a passageway, having just come from another unsuccessful session of haunting the managers.
He didn't know what it was – maybe the older they got the more jaded they became? Or was it that they just that they somehow found the balls enough to try to defy him?
He snorted and shook his head – no use thinking such thoughts, they only got him angry.
He turned a corner and suddenly heard something metallic ricochet off his shoe and hit the wall.
He stopped and looked down, trying to see what was the cause of the noise.
His super sensitive eyes picked out a small, curiously twisted object on the ground in front of him.
He picked it up and examined it.
How did it get down there?
What did it do?
How did one use it?
What was it's purpose?
Pondering such thoughts, he took the newly found object to his lair.
Now what should I do?
He stared at the piece of metal.
Maybe it is used to poke someone's eyes out?
He found that thought extremely amusing.
Or as a hairclip?
He recalled the small pins the ballet rats used.
Or maybe to pull one's fingernails out?
Or as a pin?
It looks quite sharp.
Perhaps I could pick a lock with it.
No. It has to have some greater meaning.
He took it in the kitchen and began experimenting.
First, he dropped it in a pot of boiling water and watched to see what would happen. When no result came from that he put a spoonful of jam on it and hung it with a clothespin on a line strung across the kitchen.
It just dripped.
Frustrated now, he whipped the paperclip away from the clothespin and tried to throw it across the room.
Tried – but failed, seeing as how the sticky contraption stuck to his fingers tenaciously.
"Gah!"
The paperclip flew off his hand and stuck with a thwump on the ceiling.
Not aware of the new location of the curious object, he looked around the room to see where it went. It had disappeared! It was not on any of the walls or on the floor or anywhere else in the kitchen for that matter. Amazing!
Then he felt something land on his head.
A frenzied ball of horror growing in his stomach, he almost prayed that it wasn't what he thought it was.
His hand found a sticky little metal object embedded in his hair.
He gave a shout a fury and tugged at it, only to find that it was cemented in his raven locks.
Panicking, he ran to the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the sink, sticking his whole head under the running water and completely forgetting about his mask.
Within seconds his whole face was swamped and it was getting hard for him to breathe.
He tore the black velvet contraption off, throwing it carelessly on the floor by the door and then he turned his attention back to the paperclip.
He pushed.
He pulled.
He scrubbed.
He clawed.
And the only thing he succeeded in doing was making it worse.
He stared at his twisted reflection in the cabinet mirror above the sink miserably.
It will have to be cut off.
He opened the cabinet and pulled out a razor then hurriedly slashed off a hank of hair.
It fell into his palm silkily and a little stickily.
Not even bothering to look at it he headed for the door of the bathroom, resolving to take extreme caution when testing the thing in the future.
But just as he stepped out into the hall his foot slipped on his discarded mask and he went crashing to the floor.
He lay there for a moment, stunned, just looking at the chunk of hair and the parasitic little hunk of metal that he had grasped in his shaking fist.
Dear God! It has to be some sort of tribal bad luck talisman!
Suddenly filled with adrenaline, he jumped up off the floor in karate style and ran for the door to the lake.
MUSTGET
RID
OF
He skidded to a stop right before he hit the water and grabbed the nearest stone.
Weighted down, he measured the bundle of hair, paperclip, and rock in his hand, hefted it back, and then threw it as far as it would go.
It hit the water with a little splash, leaving only a few air bubbles in its wake before completely disappearing.
Exhausted, Erik slouched back into the lair.
WINNER: The Paperclip
LOSER: Erik
