Lyrafan – No mullet rule, eh? It shall be done!

UniversalAnimeGirl– No ma'am I haven't read those stories. At least I don't think so. Who wrote them? Made up the pairing all by myself. Although I'm a bit depressed since it, apparently, is no longer original.

Lady Farevay – Long straggly hair in the food? Let's see what I can do with that idea.

Xmengirlzrule – Laxatives? Now that's funny.

Ishandahalf – First off, what is it with you and Batman? Granted he's the coolest non-Marvel superhero, but I think you have an obsession with the guy. Speaking of obsessions, I stand by the comments made last chapter about decapitation. And now I have a question for you – are you reading my mind?

Thanks to Spiffythefaery for the awesome beta work provided, and for contributing her own brand of humor.


{Friday}

(8:00)

"These are for you," Sam said, nervously thrusting a large bouquet of flowers forward as Wanda opened the front door. She beamed and leaned in to place a light kiss of his cheek, then, grabbing his arm she pulled him into the house.

Sam's eyes darted over the walls, as if he were expecting hidden dangers to spring forth and decapitate him on the spot. While he had met the Brotherhood (who got along with Sam solely because of Wanda's request, or threatening) he had never met Wanda's infamous father. No doubt his perspective of the man was warped by the embellished stories at the Xavier Institute. From what Sam had heard Magneto was a man likely to pat you on the back using the sharp edge of a long knife.

But Sam didn't believe everything he had heard. He was pretty sure Remy was joking about Magneto sucking the blood from his human sacrifices. At least, he hoped so.

Wanda noticed Sam's face and chuckled. "It's ok. There aren't any booby-traps."

Sam nodded. Of course there weren't any booby-traps. Even Magneto wouldn't place treacherous obstacles his own home. But that was a suspicious looking vase…

"Sam!" Wanda snapped at her boyfriend, who had snatched up the black vase. Sam looked at Wanda blankly, and then jumped as he realized he was gripping the vase. With an apologetic grin he set it back down. Wanda walked up to Sam and grasped his hand with hers.

"I promise there aren't any traps."

"Ah'm sorry Wanda. It's just hard to lower my guard. Ah've haven't heard a lot of glowing things about the residents of this house."

"I know that Sam. But Father really wants to meet you and he will make sure that everyone is on their best behavior. Well, everyone besides Pyro, but he won't be here tonight," Wanda replied with a grin.

"Besides no one else is home right now, except for Sabertooth. And he's in the kitchen," Wanda said as her hands rose to Sam's head, her fingers playing with his long blonde hair. Sam got the hint. His hands rose to the mid of Wanda's back and he lowered his head, lips parted slightly. Wanda arched backward, spreading her lips in return. Both teens closed their eyes in anticipation of bliss.

"If you're going to do that here, you should at least charge for the show," a high pitched voice cracked, interrupting the mood. Eyes snapped open and heads whirled about to see that the two were no longer alone. Standing in the hallway adjacent to the living room was the Brotherhood.

The four boys were wearing bemused grins - except for Todd who was scowling, and very nice tuxedoes. While the others wore a typical black outfit, Pietro's was blindly white. Sam suddenly felt underdressed in his shabby suit.

"Where have you been?" Wanda questioned, immediately taking the offensive. Pietro walked over to his sister, throwing his arm around her possessively.

"Dearest sister of mine. Our brethren and I decided to take in a lovely theatrical piece," Pietro intoned.

"Alright idiot. What's up?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But why do you resort to name calling?" Wanda plucked her brother's arm off her shoulders, her eyes smoldering.

"I know you. And you never act like this. What is going on?"

"Nothing! We just went out to see a play."

"Yeah? Which one?"

"Some piece of crap. You can't expect me to remember that. Hell, I don't even know when your birthday is!"

"We're twins! It's the same day as yours!" Wanda screeched. Pietro paused with this bit of information.

"You don't say."

Wanda sighed and pinched her nose in frustration.

"Where is Father?"

"Parking the car."

"We don't have a car."

"That would explain what's taking him so long then," Pietro replied. Before Wanda could make a response, Sabertooth turned the corner.

"You!" he barked at Lance, his index finger beckoning to the youth. Sighing, Lance turned on his heel and followed Sabertooth into the kitchen.


Lance walked into the kitchen to see several empty glasses on the tile counter, and Sabertooth standing over them holding a white bottle. Turning the bottle upside down, a white viscous liquid slid sluggishly into the vacant glass.

"Fill them up with drinks," Sabertooth barked as he turned to a large pot, from which black smoke was emanating.

"With what?"

"Does it look like I care? There's stuff in the fridge, but if you take any of that Jack Daniels I'll kill you."

"Right."

Sabertooth whirled, and pointed a long, dangerous finger in Lance's general direction.

"Listen to me boy. There are some things that you just don't do no matter what. You never mess with someone's Jack Daniels." Lance didn't know how to respond. So he fell back on the advice Kitty had once given him on how to deal with Logan.

"Whatever you say."

"Damn straight," Sabertooth growled as he turned back to cooking. "Oh, one last thing. Make sure that weird Southern kid gets the glass with the white stuff."

"Why?"

"Don't question orders boy! Just do it!"


Lance emerged from the kitchen and distributed the refreshments like he was supposed to. Sam didn't even notice that an extra ingredient had been slipped into his drink. There was a feeble attempt made at holding polite conversation, but that effort was quickly abandoned by the teens.

After several moments of awkward silence, the youths had settled in the living room. Sam and Wanda sat on the loveseat, his lanky arm wrapped around her. Todd crouched on the floor nearby, wishing that he could have Scott's powers for a moment. Fred and Lance were bored with the situation; the former wondering what was for dinner, the latter contemplating when he could call Kitty. Pietro sat down on the large leather seat across from the lovers, inwardly containing his anticipation for what would happen when a certain protective father returned.

And when the door was forcefully thrown open, the teens leapt to their feet in surprise. Billowing in through the open door was a thin layer of mist, mist which was coiling around the cloak surrounding a helmeted figure in the doorway. The dark cloak fell down the figure's shoulders, covering up everything underneath. The helmet hid the face of the person, revealing only luminescent yellow eyes.

Everyone scrambled into the hallway. Todd wore a gleeful grin at the sudden appearance of the Brotherhood's benefactor. Wanda dragged Sam directly in front of him.

Sam looked up at the figure of Magneto. The yellow eyes glared at him from darkness. Sam pulled on his collar slightly, when had it gotten so warm? Fog rolled lazily over the floor, covering the wood panels.

"Daddy," Wanda said, grabbing Sam's arm as she guided him forward. "This is Sam Guthrie. My boyfriend."

Sam tried to smile but failed miserably. Magneto said nothing, he merely stared down at Sam with his yellow gaze.

"Say something!" Wanda hissed in Sam's ear.

"Um. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Lehnsherr," Sam spat out awkwardly. The yellow eyes flashed dangerously, and Sam swore he saw a spark of fire spill out from them.

A hush had fallen over the group, no one wanting to be the first to break the silence. Magneto simply stood in the hallway, mist swirling around him, yellow eyes blazing. Sam felt a bead of sweat begin to collect on his brow. Either someone had turned up the heat or the burning gaze was really getting to him.

The assembled mutants stood in the hallway, saying nothing. Sam stood, frozen by the cold glare emanating from the helmet. So entranced with the staring match no one had noticed that the cloak swathed around Magneto had begun to burn.

The flame sparked quickly, the cause of which was unknown, but the cloak provided ample material for the spark to turn into something much larger, much hotter, and much more dangerous. The cape spontaneously burst into flames.

Sam leapt backward. Lance straightened up to take a good look at the burning Magneto. Fred looked at the situation with little interest. Pietro's mouth dropped open in shock, and he began screaming for Sabertooth. Todd looked on with horror. Wanda shrieked but her cries were drowned out by the fire alarm.

In any house where Pyro is a resident, there are two necessities. Having a well maintained fire alarm system and having plenty of fire extinguishers readily available. Magneto had not neglected either.

Sabertooth bolted out of the kitchen, clutching a fire extinguisher in his massive hands. Rushing over to the conflagration that was consuming the doorway, he released a massive onslaught of the extinguisher's innards. The white goo burst from the extinguisher and covered the fire, quickly putting it out. Satisfied, Sabertooth stalked back into the kitchen with a grin.

Meanwhile the rest of the house looked at the remains of Magneto. The dark cape, and everything underneath it, had been completely destroyed by the fire. All that remained of the once proud mutant was his helmet, scorched beyond recognition and now a melted, twisted hunk of metal.

"What happened?" Sam asked. There was no answer. Tears began to well in Wanda's eyes, and she grabbed onto Sam for support. Pietro stared at the charred mess with eyes wide open. Todd slammed his fists on the floor, crying out why. Lance and Fred merely stood on in shock. The vigil that had fallen over the house was rudely interrupted by a loud giggling.

His curiosity aroused by the giggling, Lance looked out the open doorway to see Pyro, Kurt, and Bobby attempting to stifle their laughter.

"'Ello mates!" Pyro enthusiastically called as he entered the house accompanied by Kurt Wagner and Bobby Drake.

Angry glares were his response. Bobby walked in and looked down at the twisted hunk of metal.

"I told you to keep a closer eye on that flame."

Pyro shrugged. "Eh. Whatcha gonna do?"

"How about not burn Magneto's stuff?" Kurt added. Wanda's head snapped up.

"Wait a minute. What are you saying?"

"Blue boy and I were dressed up as your pop. You should have seen his face," Pyro declared with a finger pointed at Sam.

"You what?" Wanda screeched, a blue glow surrounding her hands.

"Now, now Wanda. There's no need to get violent. It'd make an awful mess," Pyro said, backing away slowly.

"Does it look like I care?" Wanda hissed viciously. Pyro found that his backtrodding did nothing, save to trap him against a wall. Closing his eyes and preparing to visit that big inferno in the sky, Pyro waited for the blow. Fortunately the pyromaniac was spared from a horrible fate by the arrival of the arrival of the one, true Magneto.

"Wanda, you kill Pyro, you get to repaint the room," Magneto said coolly as he entered the house, decked out in his battle uniform. Wanda's hands snapped to her side as her father arrived.

Magneto looked at the crowd for a moment before his gaze came to rest o Sam, who was quivering with terror. Staring at the boy for a few moments, Magneto seemed to be making up his mind about something. Taking the pause in action to her advantage Wanda jumped forward, her arm wrapped around Sam's again.

"Daddy, this is Sam Guthrie. My boyfriend."

"You're an X-Man, aren't you?" Magneto said with a calculating glare.

"Technically he's a New Recruit," Wanda put in. Magneto shot a nasty glance in her direction. He wanted the boy to answer the question.

"Well?"

"Y-Yes sir."

"Yes sir, what?"

"Ah'm an X-Man, sir." Magneto's eyes narrowed at the answer. He turned his gaze to his daughter.

"Wanda. Please escort Sam to the study. I would like to have a word with him in private." Wanda nodded and dragged her boyfriend off. Magneto watched them go before heading towards the kitchen.

"Victor, did you do as I asked?" Magneto said as soon as the hulking mutant came into his sight. Sabertooth gave him a feral grin.

"Oh yeah. That boy is gonna have fun tonight," he replied as he grabbed the empty white bottle labeled "Industrial Strength Laxative." [1]


Sam sat in Magneto's office in trepidation. Wanda had given him a kiss for luck and then left, leaving him all alone to face Magneto, Master of Magnetism, sworn enemy of humans and the X-Men, and the father of his girlfriend. To top it all off, he wasn't feeling very well. His stomach had really begun to bother him. In fact, just as he got up to use the restroom he found the exit blocked by Magneto.

"Sit. Please," Magneto said as he walked around his large desk and sat down. Knowing that his future with Wanda depended on this, Sam had no choice but to sit down and hopefully endure.

"So. Sam," Magneto began. "How long have you been courting my daughter?"

"Two months sir."

"And how did you meet?"

"Do ya remember when everybody was at the Institute after the Apocalypse thing? Ah met her then."

"Now Sam, I want to trust you. Do you want me to trust you?"

"Of course sir."

"Good. But if I'm going to trust you, and by that I mean trust you enough to date my only daughter, then you are going to have to be honest with me. Are you going to be honest with me?"

"Of course sir. Ah'd never dream of doing anything different."

"Good. Now Sam, where are you from?"

"Kentucky, sir."

"Hm. And were do you live?"

"On Ma's farm. Raising chickens."

Magneto paused. "Do you ever eat the chickens?"

"Only when we need to, sir."

"Do you fry them?"

"Oh yes sir. Ah love my chicken fried."

"You like your Kentucky Fried Chicken don't you?"

"Oh yes sir."

"Good," Magneto said as he placed a large bucket of the product on his desk. "I'll give you this chicken in exchange for you breaking up with Wanda."

"Sir?"

"Don't you want the chicken Sam?"

"Not if Ah have to break up with Wanda."

Magneto nodded. "You passed the first test, Mr. Guthrie. Now how far have you gone with my daughter?" Sam blushed furiously.

"Excuse me sir?"

"Sam, if I'm going to trust you, you are going to have to be honest with me about everything."

"But that's something that concerns me and Wanda."

"What concerns Wanda concerns me."

"Ah…Ah don't quite see how." Magneto sighed and stood up, making his way behind Sam, who really, really had to go to the bathroom.

"Sam, if you wish to continue having a relationship with my daughter then you will answer this question. Otherwise I will toss you out the window and have Pyro and his flame throwers chase you all the way back to the mansion. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now answer the question."

"We've made out when nobody is looking."

"Is that all you've done?"

"Yes sir," Sam replied squirming in his seat, partially due to Magneto's glare, partially due to his stomach bothering him. Magneto nodded and went back to his seat.

"Tell me Sam. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Five years?"

"It's an arbitrary number."

"In college, Ah guess."

"And in this image of your future five years from now, is Wanda with you?"

"Sir?"

"Do you see yourself with my daughter in five years? It is a simple question."

"Ah…Ah don't know."

"Then why are you going out with her? If you don't have a future together are you just using her to get some cheap thrills? Do you think I'll stand by and let you use my daughter? My precious child?"

"Ah…"

"What? You said yourself don't see yourself with her in the future. So why bother dating her unless you are using her?"

"Ah…"

"Please, explain this to me. Why else? What other reason could there possibly be?"

"Ah love…"

"Don't give me that lame excuse about love. You don't know what love is. You're too young to know what love is. And besides, you don't love Wanda."

"What?"

"I've been checking up on you Samuel. And from all the sources I have, they say you have feelings for one Rahne Sinclair, who happens to be going out with your friend Roberto DaCosta. Yet the same sources indicate that Roberto has feelings for Wanda. This is just a sick game of revenge for you, isn't it?"

"No sir, Ah…"

"Come on Sam. Don't take me for a fool.

"Ah'm not."

"Then what?"

"Sir, Ah'm just a teenager. Ah can't see into the future. Ah can't predict where Ah'll be or who Ah'll be with. All Ah can do is tell you what Ah know now and right now Ah love Wanda. Ah may be young, but that doesn't mean Ah don't know what love is. Ah would never dream about using her sir. Ah couldn't use her. Ah wouldn't."

Magneto leaned back in his chair, looking at Sam in thought. "You surprise me with your honesty Sam. I must admit I thought I had you pegged. You are a tough nut to crack. I respect that. Now there is one last thing I'd like to discuss before we have dinner."

"What's that sir?" Sam replied, his stomach spinning at the thought of dinner. Magneto leaned forward in his chair anxiously.

"Your hair."


When Magneto took Sam into his office, there was a deep breath taken by everyone else in the house. Some were wondering what would be said behind those closed doors. Others were wondering if Sam would escape with his body and sanity, intact. Others were still hoping for another show, preferably including lots of screaming and sharp, pointy objects. Over an hour had passed before Sam emerged, wearing a large grin, no less. Magneto followed him out, looking less than pleased.

When everyone was seated for dinner, Magneto casting a menacing shadow from his seat at the head of the large table, Sabertooth began serving the food. Although most of it was charred beyond recognition, there was enough to satisfy even Fred. The dinner was fairly quiet, with everyone being too busy eating. That was until Sam decided to comment on the food.

"Ah have to say that these noodles are really good."

"What noodles?" Pietro asked with a quirked eyebrow. Sam brought his fork up which had a fat noodle wrapped around it, to show it off. The metal utensil was wrenched from his grasp, noodle and all, and shot over to Magneto's hand.

The Master of Magnetism took a quick look at the noodle before looking up at Sam with a weird grin.

"Sabertooth!" Magneto shouted, summoning his butler. Sabertooth stumbled into the room, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

"What is this?" Magneto asked while raising the fork. Sabertooth took a quick look at the utensil.

"Oops."

"Oops? Why the hell is your hair in the food!" Magneto shouted. [2]

When Sam heard this, his face paled considerably. Leaping from his seat he rushed towards the bathroom where he preceded to dry-heave to get what he had eaten out of his system.

"I thought I left explicit instructions for you not to cook," Magneto growled, ignoring the plight of Sam.

"She told me I had to cook."

"I told you to buy dinner. That's why I gave you the money."

"Ohhh."

"What did you do with the money, Victor?"

Sabertooth mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I bought Cher's Greatest Songs on CD." [3]

If it wasn't for the fact that Sabertooth had said it the entire house would have broke up in laughter. Since it was Sabertooth they had to settle for stifling chuckles.

"You can keep it. Just never play it in the house."

"I'm going to go check on Sam," Wanda said as she left the table. As soon as she rounded the corner, Magneto began to crack up.

"Good job Victor. Everything is going according to plan."


(11:00)

"It was a pleasure meeting you Mr. Lehnsherr."

"It was educational. Come by tomorrow and we'll finish our conversation. I'll expect you at five."

"Alright. Ah'll be here. Goodnight everyone. Goodnight Wanda." With that the door shut as Sam, and the two other members of the Xavier Institute took off for home. Wanda turned to look at her father as soon as the door shut.

"So what do you think of him?"

"I don't like him."

"Why not?"

"You want the long list or the short one?"

"What's wrong with Sam?"

"For starters he's an X-Man."

"He's a New Recruit!"

"So he's not even good enough to be an X-Man."

"So what? Besides you seemed to get along with Bobby and Kurt and they're both X-Men."

"Yes. But Bobby and Kurt aren't dating you."

"You're being so hypocritical."

"The advantages of being a super villain."

"Anything else about Sam you don't like?"

"Yes. That mullet of his."

"What about it?"

"This house has a 'no-mullet' rule. So long as he has the mullet, he can't come back in." [4]

"But Lance has a mullet!" Magneto looked over at Lance, who shied away from the glance.

"Lance loose the mullet," Magneto ordered.

"But I don't wanna."

"Fine. Then get some clothes without holes."

"But he still has the mullet."

"I've made an amendment to the 'no-mullet' rule."

"Oh yeah?" Wanda challenged, obviously very unhappy with her father's games.

"Yes. Lance is exempt from the rule."

"Score one for the Rock-Man!" Lance cried out.

"Do that again and Pyro will burn all your hair off," Magneto threatened.

"Now, I told Sam that if he wishes to continue to see you he will get a haircut."

"What? I like his hair."

"But I didn't, and that's what matters."

"I can't believe you're doing this. I hate you!" Wanda cried as she stormed off. Magneto watched her for a moment before sighing.

"I knew I should have built that dungeon with the moat like I originally planned."


{Saturday}

(3:00)

Weekends at the Xavier Institute were relatively peacefully. Relatively, in the sense that the majority of the occupants were teenagers with mutant powers, that is. Today was an exception. Standing in the living room on a wooden crate was Bobby Drake, calling out to the rest of the residents of the mansion.

"That's right ladies and gentlemen! After having dinner with the nefarious Magneto, Sam Guthrie is still alive, and still in a relationship with Wanda! All those who bet on Magneto being able to drive Sam away after one night lose. All those with bets for today being the day, check in at nine for results! Make your bets now!

"Will this be the day? Will Sam keep his relationship with Wanda? Place your bets at the windows now!"

Working the 'betting windows' were Kurt, and several Jamies. Pyro was watching the proceedings with an amused grin, unable to handle the bets due to his inclination to burn any paper that came in his grasp, regardless of color or value.

When Professor Xavier wheeled into the living room, he was shocked at the sight of a gambling racket going on, and thriving, in his own home.

"Robert. Kurt. What is going on?" Bobby's face froze when he heard the professor call for him.

"Just having a little fun."

"Must this fun involve activities that are illegal?"

"We figure we're already criminals, so what's the harm of making some money during the process?" Kurt added as he closed his window.

"Already criminals?"

"Yeah. We're X-Men. The X-Men are wanted by police in Egypt, Mexico, China, and the United Kingdom for questioning about engaging in suspicious activities."

Xavier looked at his students with shock. "How'd you find out about that?"

Kurt shrugged. "It's amazing what you learn when you read the newspaper." Xavier paused, not certain whether to be proud of the boys for reading the newspaper or disappointed that they were proud of being wanted by several governments. He settled for being quite confused.

"What is everyone betting on?"

"When Sam breaks up with Wanda."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because, according to John," Bobby said with a thumb over in Pyro's direction. "Her father is determined to keep Wanda single. He even came to us for help. He vowed to break them up by Sunday." Xavier nodded; he had expected nothing else from his old friend.

"Your business seems to be thriving," Xavier noted dryly.

"Yeah. Everyone is interested in this. Logan and Hank even bet," Kurt replied.

"Very well. I suppose chastising you will do nothing, so carry on," Xavier said as he began to wheel away. "Oh and Robert, put me down for twenty on Sunday at five."


(7:00)

Two hours after Sam arrived, he emerged; his face was pale, his lips trembling. His hands shook violently. In short, he looked horrible. Following him out of the office was Magneto, who looked extremely happy.

Wanda jumped up to greet Sam when he exited the study. Having been out when he arrived, this was the first time she had seen him since the night before. Pulling to a screeching halt in front of her beau, Wanda frowned.

"Sam, what happened to your hair?" she asked, with a nasty glare sent in the direction of her father (who suddenly found that the wallpaper pattern was very interesting). Sam looked down at her, and ran a hand over his bald head.

"Ah cut it."

"No kidding. You cut it all off!"

"Ah think it looks good."

"It looks horrible! What drove you to this madness?" Sam's eye twitched violently. "A haircut is one thing, but going completely bald?"

"As fascinating as this conversation is, if you dally any longer you'll miss the movie," Magneto interjected. "Now get going."

The couple was quickly ushered out of the house, egged on by Magneto's shooing. As soon as they were out the door the mischievous father grabbed his cell phone and called up his allies.

"I don't know what you did to convince Sam to go completely bald, but it was pure genius," Magneto said.

"We try," Kurt replied. "Besides it was fun getting him to think Wanda liked bald guys. Let me tell you it was hard as hell convincing him that she had a crush on the Professor at one point."

"I imagine it would be. Speaking of Charles, what was his reaction to all this?"

"He bet you'd break them up by tomorrow." Magneto smiled at the comment.

"Good news. Speaking of which, when do I get my cut?"


(10:30)

Slamming the door to her room as hard as she could, Wanda Maximoff screamed. Her frustration at the past twenty-four hours was starting to wear on her, and Sam's recent behavior did not help her aggravation.

Somehow her father had managed to instill the fear of god into the boy, making him twitch and spasm throughout the entire night. Really, the way he was acting was ground for a one way ticket to the loony bin.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping on her door. Knowing that only one person in the house would even bother to knock, she threw the door open without calling for any information. Standing in the now open doorway was her twin.

"You okay?" Pietro asked with genuine concern.

"Fine," Wanda deadpanned as she threw herself onto her bed. Her brother followed her in and silently shut the door.

"Come on, you can tell me. If you can't trust your twin, who can you trust?"

"Anything I tell you goes straight to Father."

"I don't tell him everything."

"Name one."

"Like the girl I went out with tonight." Wanda flipped herself over.

"You didn't tell him?" Pietro frowned as he shook his head.

"If you think he's upset over your relationship, he'd blow a gasket over mine. So it's best to keep him out of the loop."

"I guess. Although I don't see why you should be spared from this treatment." Pietro shrugged.

"Cause 'I don't date. I sleep around.'" Wanda grinned slightly at the quotation. [5] Pietro sat down on his sister's bed. "What's bothering you?"

"Sam."

"What happened?"

Wanda propped herself on her elbows. "I don't know. Ignoring the fact someone convinced him to shave his head; he was just acting really weird tonight."

"Farm boy's always weird."

"To you, maybe. But tonight he was acting different that usual."

"Explain."

"Every time I tried to touch him, he'd flinch and pull away. Every time I wanted to gaze in his eyes, he'd look away. He spent the entire night twitching and spasming. It's like he was having a mental breakdown."

"Makes you wonder what happened to him in such a quick span of time," Pietro commented coolly. Wanda's eyes narrowed.

"Oh I know what happened. Father." Pietro shook his head with a grin.

"Maybe. But it might be that everything has just hit Sam? I mean, Danger Room sessions at five every morning is just asking for a mental breakdown."

"I suppose that could be it. But I don't think…"

"Well, thinking isn't going to solve the problem."

"You got a better idea?" Pietro nodded with a Cheshire Cat-like grin.

"Come with me, dear sister and see."


{Sunday}

(8:00)

Prowling was what he was good at, among other things, like fighting, yelling, or drinking beer. Prowling, however, was something he took great pride in.

Silently, Logan roamed about the vast mansion he called home.

Normally these early morning lurked were devoid of life. Sure, Chuck would be up in his study and Hank would be down in his lab. Occasionally Ororo would be in her garden, but never were any of the students present. Logan could count on one finger the amount of times he had ever found a student out of bed this early in the morning. It came as a surprise to him when he found the now bald Sam huddled in a ball, hanging upside down from the crystal chandelier that hung in the entrance hall.

While anyone else would have been shocked to find Sam in such a precarious position, Logan was used to weird things happening with teenage mutants. Shrugging and chalking it up to the Danger Room sessions, he trudged off to find Chuck.


(12:00)

"It took them how long to get him down?" Kurt asked Scott with a raised eyebrow.

"Three hours."

"But what was he doing hanging upside down from the chandelier?" Kitty asked.

After finding Sam on the chandelier, Logan had gone to Xavier, who had been able to eventually get the young boy down. Sam was shaking violently and nothing Xavier did was able to stop the reactions. However, Sam remained the same miserable state. Seeing that there was nothing he could do to help the youth at the moment, Xavier regrettably called up the Bayville Hospital.

From what the students were able to figure out (mostly through spying on the teachers) when Sam arrived, he was immediately transferred to the psychiatric ward.

"I can't believe it. Just three days ago he was so healthy and happy," Jean said, inciting everyone to nod their heads in agreement.

"Never realized dat the Big Man be so harsh with hommes calling on his daughter," Remy said as he twirled an unlit cigarette in his fingers.

"I guess that means the relationship is over. Sunday bets win," Bobby declared.

"No it doesn't. Sam's in a loony bin, he hasn't ended his relationship with Wanda," Scott protested.

"How the hell is he going to carry on a relationship from a mental institution?"

"I'm not saying that it'll be easy. Just that it isn't over yet."

"Why do Ah get the feeling you're saying that 'cause you bet they'd break up tomorrow?" Rogue asked bemusedly.

"Fair is fair."

"Don't worry. We have a plan. The moment Sam breaks up with Wanda, John will let us know," Kurt informed the group.

"How?"

"Either he was planning to use that huge spotlight with a cutout of Magneto's helmet or call us."

"So we should start checking the sky?"

"To the roof!"


(5:00)

Wanda was bored. There was only so much television she could take in a single day. There was only so much homework she could tolerate. There was only so long she could stand to be around Todd. She was really bored.

There were three possible solutions to her boredom. She could get her father to take everyone out to dinner, but he absolutely refused to take the Brotherhood out in public. She could take Lance's jeep, her father's credit card, and Pietro to hold stuff while she shopped. However, Pietro was missing, Lance's jeep broken, and her father's credit card nonexistent. Or she could figure out how to get together with Sam that evening.

She had called the Institute in order to find her boyfriend, but to no avail. All they would tell her was that Sam wasn't available and refused to divulge any more information. Wanda was a bit upset that she was unable to get in touch with him. She wasn't worried; there wasn't much that could withstand Sam "cannon-balling." She was concerned, and upset.

When the phone rang it startled her. It carried on for a few moments before Wanda came to the realization that the only person in the house who would be called was her. Bringing the receiver to her ear, she discovered that someone else had already picked up.

"…I'm just saying that it was advertised as a galaxy of cashews. And three isn't a galaxy." [6]

"That's really interesting Fred," a southern tainted accent replied. Sam's southern tainted accent.

"Fred, get off the phone!" Wanda yelled into the receiver, causing some loud hissing.

"Alright, alright. No need to get violent," Fred said as he hung up with a click.

"Sam, honey. How are you?"

"Ah've been better."

"Where are you? I've been trying to find you all day. I was thinking you could join us on a family picnic tonight." There was an extremely long pause on the other end of the phone.

"Ah can't Wanda," Sam replied finally.

"That's alright. Some other time."

"Listen Wanda, Ah'm calling because my doctor thinks Ah need to talk to you about something," Sam began, his voice suddenly adopting a nervous Woody Allen-esque tone. Wanda frowned. Since when did Sam have a doctor?

"He thinks that Ah've been having some problems lately, and Ah'm pretty sure he's right. So…Ah…uh…Ah just wanted to set some things right so Ah can get on with my recovery.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, Ah'm breaking up with you." Wanda's jaw dropped. There was no way in hell this was happening. It was just some joke.

"Ah'm sorry it had to be this way. It's not you it's me. But things aren't working out. So Ah'm sorry and have a nice life. Bye," That said, Sam hung up the phone. Wanda sat in utter silence for a moment before what Sam had finally said hit her.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" Wanda began bawling at the top of her lungs. Her cries were so loud that within a few moments Magneto appeared in her doorway.

"Wanda? What's wrong?" Wanda stopped her tears for a moment, just enough to look up at her father.

"Sam…Sam broke up with me!" She began bawling again. For the briefest of moments a grin flashed on Magneto's face, before being replaced with concern. Sitting down on his daughter's bed, he wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob onto his shoulder while whispering comforting things into her ear.


The darkening sky above Bayville was broken by the sudden appearance of a helmet shaped spotlight.

A series of jubilant shouts and frustrated groans quickly followed it.


[1] – Contributed by XMenGirlzRule

[2] – Contributed by Lady Farevay

[3] – Spiffythefaery's general idea. And if there is a copy of Cher's greatest hits actually out there, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

[4] – Lyrafan and his no mullet rule!

[5] – A reference back to Magneto's comment in Chapter 2. In case you'd forgotten

[6] – Got to love those Simpsons.

Well there it is.

Is Wanda done with the dating scene?

Who else will try their hand at romancing the girl?

Like always send in those ideas for mischief and mayhem!