Southern Goth Girl and XEvo Chic – I have to confess that part was my favorite as well. I don't know why, but I loved coming up with that.

UniversalAnimeGirl – Now that you mention it I think I may have read the first couple of chapters of the very first one. I didn't stop reading because it wasn't good or because of the slash, but I really don't like Aurora or Northstar. But I never read far enough to see the Sam/Wanda. As for Wanda in this story, she isn't dumb. She knows that her father is up to something. She just isn't clear what exactly he's doing, but it'll become clearer and clearer to her. Not that she could stop him anyway.

Lady Farevay – For the safety of your computer I'm going to recommend that at this time you put down any food or drink you may have until the completion of this chapter.

CrazySpaceyStacey – Woncermous, eh? I like the sound of that.

Ishandahalf – If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to tell. But theme music, now there's a good idea.

Betaed by Spiffythefaery, who for some odd reason wants me to write another story instead of this one.


{Wednesday}

(12:00)

Two weeks after Sam was taken away, things gradually began to return to normal. Sam was slowly regaining his sanity. The Brotherhood attended school, and even stayed long enough to earn report cards. As for Wanda, two weeks had gone by and she was still single.

Whether this was the case because of what had happened to Sam or because no one had dared to approach her in the past few weeks due to her fool mood was uncertain. What was certain was that rumors were beginning to circulate that no boy, no matter how charming, would be able to take Wanda out for more than an evening. One night was all that they could get. After that, her father entered the picture and would find a way to end the relationship.

Still that didn't mean that she couldn't be coveted from a far. And that's exactly what he did.

It was lunchtime at Bayville High. The mass hordes of students lounged about the school reveling in the short break between classes. Some students actually used the time to eat, while others spent the time catching up on the latest gossip.

The Brotherhood always bought their meals from the cafeteria. It wasn't that they weren't given food at the house. It was just that Sabertooth's idea of a satisfactory meal did not appeal to their taste buds. The mouse sandwiches had been immediately disposed of. But since Sabertooth took such pride in making them lunch, they didn't have the heart to tell him. Except for Pietro, but Sabertooth seemed to think he was just joking.

When Pietro had protested to his father he had been told either Sabertooth could fix lunch or they would get liver for every single meal. [1]

After having Fred hijack one of the tables, they sat down to lunch; lunch acquired from money given to Lance and Fred for "protection." While the boys were rather jovial as they ate, Wanda sat alone, brooding.

He watched her from the other side of the cafeteria. It had become his routine the past two weeks. While he always secretly harbored a crush on her since they had met so many months ago, he never let on until now. He and Sam were too close.

Sam was out of the picture now and he was currently free of any entanglements. Taking his eyes off her for the briefest of moments, he shot a glance towards his friends, who gave him a series of thumbs ups. They were behind him all the way, or until Magneto found out, which ever came first.

Nodding with renewed determination, he rose to his feet. He stood, his eyes locked on her as he mustered up all his courage.

"Come on," he told himself quietly. "You've fought the some of the most dangerous people to walk this planet. You've survived a massive explosion. You lived through Kitty's cooking. You can do it."

His ego boosted, he strode towards the unsuspecting Wanda.


(3:00)

Magneto was having quite a nice day. After sleeping in until eight, he had awoke to find that not only was the Brotherhood gone, but that Sabertooth had taken Pyro out to show the boy how to drink properly.

He spent the rest of the morning counting the figures from his recent business activities, and concluded that he had made over twenty five million from the last day's stock activities. It was amazing how much you could make when you had a prophetic seer on your payroll.

After taking Charles out to lunch to celebrate his success in ending Wanda's relationship (and Charles' victory in the pot), Magneto had returned to the house to take up his next task.

He had decided long ago that he wanted to rig up his uniform so that it played his own theme song when he entered a room. [2] That's why he was on the phone.

"So I was thinking of something dark and foreboding. Similar to the theme you did for Darth Vader, Mr. Williams."

"I see. And how long do you think that would take?"

"What'd you mean you have to do the next Star Wars movie? What's the point? You're just going to take the good music from the previous movies anyway. You don't need to be there for that."

"Well I'll triple the offer. For just one song. Can't be more than a day's work for a genius like you."

"That's fair enough. I'll wait for your response. Thank you very much Mr. Williams, and good day." As Magneto hung up on the legendary conductor his son sped into the room.

"You're never going to believe what happened today," Pietro said quickly. Magneto frowned.

"If this has anything to do with Todd attempting to free his brethren from the science labs, then I already heard."

Pietro blinked. "Okay, that happened too, but I was referring to something else."

"I haven't the foggiest idea. I assume you're about to tell me," Magneto said as he flipped open his autobiography notebook to make note of something.

"Wanda got asked out by that Brazilian X-Geek Roberto DaCosta," Pietro said. Judging by Magneto's response, he wasn't paying attention.

"Pietro, you know I don't speak Spanish." [3]

"Neither do I."

"Come again?"

"Wanda. Your daughter. Got asked out by Roberto DaCosta. He's coming over for dinner. Tonight." Magneto's head jerked up violently.

"Tonight? That gives us no time to plan. Your sister is a quick learner."

"What are we going to do?"

"We are going to do nothing. Make sure that you keep an eye on Mr. The Coast. I have no doubt he'll make a mistake. And when he does, I'll be ready."


(4:00)

Roberto knew what he was up against.

He was going to march into the lion's den and have dinner with the beast. Of course, he was hoping that he'd get out without being maimed, or eaten, for that matter, and there was one way to assure that.

He needed to find out what Magneto liked in a suitor. That left him with two courses of action: He could ask Professor Xavier, but the old man was gone for the day. That meant he had to ask Kurt and Bobby.

Raising his hand to knock on the door to the room shared by the duo, Roberto muttered to himself under his breath.

"This is a bad idea." Still, he knocked. The door creaked open and two heads appeared, one on top of the other.

"Yeeeeeesssss," Kurt drawled.

"How may we help you?" Bobby continued.

"I need your help to…" Roberto began. Before he could finish the sentence he was forcibly dragged into the room.

"…appease Magneto tonight," Roberto finished as he took a look at the vast experiments that were being run in the room.

"Ah. So you have asked the girl out?" Bobby began.

"And you want to please her father?" Kurt concluded.

"And I don't want to end up like Sam." Kurt and Bobby exchanged a glance. Bobby walked over to Roberto and threw his arm around his shoulders.

"Since we like you 'Berto, we're gonna tell you the secret to making Mags like you."

"Really? What do I have to do?" Roberto asked, not catching the mischievous twinkle in the duo's eyes.


(6:00)

"When is this brat showing up?" Magneto asked Wanda as they sat in the parlor.

"Any minute now."

"You said that half an hour ago."

"He said around six," Wanda replied. Magneto raised a snowy eyebrow.

"Don't use that tone of voice with me."

"What tone of voice?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Yes you do. Do it again, and you're grounded."

"Grounded? For what?"

"For using that tone of voice with me."

"What tone? I don't know what you're talking about. How can you ground me for doing nothing?"

"I can ground you for whatever reason I want. I'm your father."

"You certainly have an interesting way of showing that," Wanda grumbled.

"And what does mean young lady?"

"Nothing."

"That's it! You're grounded! No dates for a month!"

"What?"

"No dates. Tell this boy that you can't go out."

"He's coming here for dinner. He's outside now!" Wanda screeched as she saw car lights in the window. Magneto paused.

"Fine. No school for week."

"What?"

"No school."

"As long as you write the note."

"I will. No school. No homework. No studying for you," Magneto declared in victory. Despite all his intelligence the crafty father had been played by his daughter. That fact hit him just as the doorbell rang. "D'oh!"

Sabertooth threw open the door and took a look at the visitor. The feral mutant blinked, then his instincts kicked in. Letting out a girlish scream he slammed the door. Turning on his heel he ran into the parlor and dove over the couch, slamming into the floor. He placed his massive paws over his face and whimpered quietly.

Both father and daughter exchanged a look of pure confusion at the scene they had just witnessed. Rising to their feet, they approached with apprehension. Magneto pulled the door open, and peeked around the corner, bracing himself for whatever he would witness.

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. Standing outside was Wanda's gentleman caller, Roberto. In his attempt to impress Magneto, and his folly by following Kurt and Bobby's advice, he was decked from head to toe in an accurate replica of Magneto's battle uniform. From the purple cape to the helmet, complete with glowing eyes, he was the spitting image of the Master of Magnetism – minus the foreboding presence, the dark glare, and the proper size to fill out the outfit. The cape was too long, the armor to large, and the helmet covered everything from his chin up.

"What are you doing boy?" Roberto lifted his head straight back to look at Magneto from underneath the helmet.

"Oh! Hello sir. Um – these are – uh – for you," he said, pulling out flowers from the cape and holding them out for Magneto to grab.

"What are you doing?" Magneto repeated, his gaze on the roses being handed to him.

"I was told that it is proper to give the father of the lady being courted all the gifts."

"Pietro! Get my shotgun!"

"What? I'm sorry! I was just doing what Bobby and Kurt said you'd approve of."

"Bobby and Kurt?" Roberto nodded weakly at Magneto's question. The glare he was receiving immediately melted and was replaced by a very large grin. "Why didn't you say so? That's a horse of different color! Come on in!" [4]


(9:00)

Wanda and Roberto (who had shed his costume) sat in Scott's borrowed car looking up at the star filled sky.

"Listen, I want you to know that I really had a nice time tonight," Roberto said.

"So did I. It was nice that Father took it easy on you."

"Must have been the advice Kurt and Bobby gave me." Wanda chuckled at the comment.

"I don't think so. He's probably waiting for you to screw up." There was a lapse of silence.

"Wanda, I really don't want this to be a one night thing. I'd like for it to be…" Roberto's thought was cut off as he found that his lips were no longer moving of his own accord. That would be because Wanda had firmly pressed hers on his. After the initial shock had worn off, Roberto began to enjoy the kiss. He felt Wanda wrap her arms around him.

He broke the kiss to move his lips down her neck. As he did so one of his hands wrapped around her waist while the other snaked forward and…

"Whoa! Hold your horses cowboy," Wanda said as she pulled herself from Roberto's grip. Roberto looked at her in dismay.

"I knew I'd screw up. Dumb Roberto. Dumb, dumb, dumb!" he cried as he slammed his head into the steering wheel, causing the horn to honk.

"Listen Roberto, I like you. I really do. And I want to see you again. But that's as far as you're going to get tonight." Roberto looked up at her with hope streaming across his face. Wanda opened the door of the car and shot a look back at the Portuguese boy.

"Call me tomorrow and have a great night," she said as she planted another small kiss on his cheek. Then she stood up and walked into the house. Roberto sat there dazed for a few moments before driving back to the mansion.

However the couple's actions did not go unobserved. No less than three people were watching them. Todd saw everything from the roof, his blood boiling at the scene that unfolded before his bulbous eyes. Pyro watched the incident in the car from the porch, although his gaze could have been occupied by the leaf fire going across the street. And in his study, giving him the perfect vantage point, was Magneto. The second he saw Roberto's wayward hand a fire began to blaze in his eyes. He watched the car drive off into the distance, before bursting from the window in a burst of magnetic power.


Roberto slammed the door to the car shut and walked merrily up to the front door of the house. He was in too much bliss to go in. Instead he wanted to stay outside and remain in his current state as long as he could. Putting his hands in his pockets, he whistled a lively tune as he ambled outside the house, enjoying the night.

So lost in his joy, Roberto failed to notice the dark cloud that was nearing the mansion. His first clue that something was wrong was when his tune was interrupted by a loud humming noise. His second clue was when, moments later, a car was hurled at him from the pitch black sky.

Letting out a scream, Roberto leapt to the side, letting the vehicle smash harmlessly into the grass. Rolling to his feet Roberto took a quick look at the car, and then looked up into the sky.

Hovering several dozen feet above the ground was Magneto, decked out in full, appropriately sized, battle gear. Hanging in the air behind him was myriad automobiles, ranging from motorcycles to big rigs. Roberto gulped loudly.

Without saying a word Magneto flung a Pinto at Roberto. The boy dodged again, the car slammed into the ground and it exploded. Roberto was flung towards the mansion. He scurried quickly in as a big rig almost turned him into Roberto DaCosta: The Human Pancake. Fortunately for the youth, the explosion had activated DefCon4, which brought up the protective metal sheets that prevented Magneto from sending any more projectiles at him. Unfortunately, the entire mansion was now encased in metal.

The mansion shook as Magneto pulled on the metal plates and, inadvertently, everything else that was metal inside the mansion. Roberto watched in horror as all the silverware shot towards him, narrowly missing his head. Following that was a vacant wheelchair, with Professor Xavier clinging on to the wheel; his face filled with pure, unadulterated terror. The wheelchair soared over Roberto's head and crashed into the metal plates, smashing into a thousand pieces.

"Not another one," Xavier moaned as Logan, shouting curses, shot through the air, and landed headfirst into the protective covering of the mansion.

"Alright? Who pissed him off?" Logan asked. His voice was muffled due to the fact that his body was twelve feet off the ground and his face was smashed into the plates. Roberto hesitated, contemplating the wisdom of answering such a question, but did so anyway.

"I did," he said as Magneto stopped pulling and starting pushing. The remains of the wheelchair took off, dragging a crying Xavier. As Logan hurtled out of sight he called back.

"When I get down I'm going to kill you for this Sunshine! Ow! Damn wall!"

Roberto gulped as he watched Logan vanish, along the remains of the wheelchair tugging along the now-crying Xavier. "Oh boy, this is bad. This is very, very bad."

"You're telling me! I gave you until eleven before he came to kill you!" Bobby said as he slid past on an ice slide.

"Good going Roberto!" Ray said as he flew by with Jean, Scott, and Hank.

"Is everyone against me?"

"We're trapped in the mansion and at the mercy of a man who desperately wants to destroy us all! What do you think?" Scott cried out as several of the electronic systems in the house began to explode.

"You will be cleaning up this mess," Hank chided as the floating group vanished. A horde of Jamies followed, the legion shouting about not wanting to miss the show.

"How am I going to get out of this?"

"Let him squash you!" Kurt said as he appeared next to Roberto in a puff of smoke. He placed a three fingered hand on Roberto's shoulder and they vanished in a puff of smoke, only to reappear outside. Underneath the floating Magneto and his army of cars.

"What?" Roberto managed to squeak out when he saw where he was.

"Sorry 'Berto, but better you than us. Have fun Mags!" With that, Kurt vanished in another cloud of smoke. Roberto looked dumbfounded at the spot where Kurt once had been before turning his gaze to look at the scowling face of Magneto.

"Um – Hi Mr. Lehnsherr. What's up?"

"This, Roberto, is the part where you scream," Magneto replied as a brand new Jeep shot towards him.


Inside the bowels of the mansion Hank merrily typed at the computer, deactivating DefCon4 to provide everyone inside with a view of the show.


"And now, for your viewing pleasure this evening, we proudly present Roberto DaCosta and Magneto in 'Whack-A-Roberto! With Cars!'" Bobby declared jubilantly to the rest of the gathered members of the Institute.

Everyone had assembled on the second floor on the mansion, in one of the rec rooms, to get a good view of what was going on outside. Even the teachers were watching with interest. Xavier sat watching with a giant foam hand that read "Go Erik!" [5] Logan sat waving a pennant the read "Magneto #1!" In the background was Tchaikovsky's Overture of 1812. As the music rose to its famous booms, cars exploded outside, matching the music perfectly.

"Look at him go," Rogue mused as she watched the fun. "Ah wonder how long it takes before Magneto gets him."

That set off the bets.


{Thursday}

(7:00)

"Where'd all these cars come from?" Lance pondered aloud as he stepped outside the house. Parked in the driveway were several brand new luxury cars.

"No idea. Is that blood?" Pietro asked as he ran his finger along the new silver Mercedes-Benz.

"No. Why would there be blood on a brand new car?"

"Hey, who knows what Sabertooth was doing this morning," Pietro replied as he hopped into Lance's jeep. The car pulled out of the driveway as Sabertooth burst from the house, clutching several paper sacks in his hands.

"Wait! You forgot your lunch!"

"Hit the gas!" Wanda ordered. Lance didn't need to be told twice. The jeep peeled off, leaving Sabertooth in their dust.

"Oh well. I'll have to find someone who'll actually eat peanut butter and jelly," Sabertooth said as he turned around to go back inside.


(3:00)

Wanda violently threw the door to her father's office open.

"What did you do?"

Magneto stared at his daughter blankly. "What?"

"What did you do?"

"Today? Blackmailed Mastermind, called John Williams, plotted to take over France. Why?"

"Roberto told me that it won't work out between us. That was quite a different tune than what he sung last night. And he was bruised and cut all over. What happened?"

"He's a teenage boy. They tend to change their minds rather quickly. Case and point, your brother."

"Father," Wanda threatened between clenched teeth.

"I didn't do anything. The last time I saw him, he was in a car." Wanda's eyes narrowed. Saying nothing, she turned on her heels and left.

"That was too close," Magneto muttered to himself and turned back to looking at the comics section.

"Stupid Family Circus!" [6]


[1] – This idea came from a story called "Fishing Trip" written by Andraste, which can be found at

[2] – Idea by Ishandahalf

[3] – From the hysterical movie Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy

[4] – 2 points for guessing where this one. Give up? From The Wizard of Oz.

[5] – A reference to another story of mine It Happens Every Spring that deals with Xavier and Magneto being baseball fans, and has a squabble over foam hands.

[6] – Family Circus is the worst comic strip EVER! This is not the opinion of the author. It is fact.

Another boyfriend bites the dust.

Who will ultimately succeed? Father or daughter?

And what poor saps will get stuck in the middle?

Send in those ideas!