Lyrafan – Fu Manchu? Morlock? Which one are you talking about, cause I sure as hell don't have any idea.

Lady Farevay – Technically Roberto is Brazilian, and therefore speaks Portuguese. However DaCosta doesn't translate to The Coast in either Spanish or Portuguese. Yeah, I check. So I have way too much time on my hands.

Purity Black – Angel, huh?

Crazyspaceystacey – I have an idea of who I specifically want to use in this story. However I am willing to add people who I haven't thought of, or those who are recommended. And the order that they come in is pretty much up to popular demand.

Ishandahalf – Stop reading my mind! Before I come after you with a pointy stick!

Thanks to Spiffythefaery for doing all the dirty beta work.


Thursday

3:00

Looking at the offending piece of paper, Magneto frowned.

At precisely fifteen seconds past three, the front door opened, and in stepped Pietro.

"Fifteen seconds? I'm getting slow," the youth remarked to himself.

"Good day Pietro," Magneto said as he rose from his seat.

"'Sup Pops."

Magneto blinked "What?"

"I said 'Sup Pops.'"

"One more time, in English."

"Hello Father."

Magneto nodded. "Ah, better. You have been using more of this butchered version of English you call 'Slang' lately. This must stop boy."

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now Pietro, I wanted to discuss your report card with you."

"Report card?" Pietro asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. You know, the way that the school lets me know about your grades."

"Never got one of those before," Pietro replied thoughtfully as he tapped his index finger on his chin in thought.

"Perhaps because you never attended class before."

"I resent that insinuation. You have no proof!"

"I don't care. What I do care about are your grades," Magneto replied as his eyes flicked over to the paper in his hand. "U.S. History – F. Geometry – F. Chemistry – F. Computer Programming – F. English – F. Art – C," Magneto read. As he finished Pietro looked up at his father sheepishly.

"Really, I can explain."

Magneto's cheek twitched in barely controlled anger. "I hope so."

"Well, you see I keep screwing around in Art. Really I do. I flirt with all the cheerleaders, and I don't do any of the assignments. But this teacher is so stoned that he gives me a C. And he always repeats what he says three times." "I see. I recommend that you demolish the room and claim that it's art. That should secure an F. Other than that mistake, I'm proud of you Pietro."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just don't let the others know that," Magneto remarked with a grin as the squeal of tires signaled the rest of the Brotherhood had returned home. The door opened and the three boys walked in.

"Wanda is with Rogue at the Institute. She had a project to do in English," Lance said to Magneto.

"Very well. Can you pick her up when she is done?" Magneto asked. Lance, never one to turn down an opportunity to see Kitty, nodded.


5:00

Magneto sat in the recliner, watching television. He wasn't exactly sure what he was watching but it involved little animals fighting each other. He wasn't sure why he was watching it, but John had control of the remote. He wasn't sure that he wanted to ask for it back.

"You call that a fire attack? I'll show you a real fire attack mate!" Magneto closed his eyes and thanked his wisdom of fire-proofing the television for the hundredth time that day. He felt two arms wrap around his neck and lips plant themselves on his cheek.

"Hi Daddy," Wanda whispered into his ear. His eyes snapped open just as his daughter skipped off.

"That was odd," John remarked from the floor, where he was sitting – on his head.

"For once we agree," Magneto replied.

Wanda adhered to a strict pattern of behavior whenever she returned home. This routine in no way ever included kisses on the cheek and hugs. It did however entail the following:

1) She would proclaim her return

2) She would respond to questions about her day with "Okay" while getting snack

3) She always answered any other questions with "I Don't Care"

4) She would complain that she was still single

5) She would complain that she was unappealing to men by being one or many of:

A) She was ugly

B) She was fat

C) She was a mutant

D) She would find another trivial reason

6) Then she'd blame everything on Pietro

7) After blaming Pietro she'd blame everything on Todd

8) And then, to cover everything, blame Magneto for Pietro and Todd, and everything else

Her happy temperament could mean only one thing. Magneto ground his teeth together.

"John, it appears someone has been foolish enough to ask Wanda out. We must take action."

"You sure boss? Cause the last time you said we had to take action, you went Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOM!" John jubilantly declared as he added special effects to his words.

Magneto glared at the insane boy. "What is the name of your current lighter?"

"Dora, why?"

"I think it's time you got into the E's, don't you?"

John screamed and clutched the lighter as he scrambled from the room. Magneto watched the boy go as his cell phone rang.

"Who is it this time?"

…..

"Oh god no. Anyone but him."


Friday

11:00

Magneto looked up as Sabertooth deposited a large stack of books on his desk.

"There you go Boss. Every book the library had on birds. And let me tell you, getting them was hard work. There was this eighty year old woman that I had to wrestle with for some of these. 1 Had to whack her with a couple of copies of War and Peace to get them."

"I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed," Magneto replied dryly.

"Why? I got the books didn't I?"

"No, it's not that. You hit an old lady with War and Peace. No one deserves that treatment. On the other hand, you read the title."

Sabertooth smiled sheepishly.

"I do what I can."


3:30

"Gentlemen – we are about to embark on a new quest. One that will test each and every one of you. Some of you will not come back alive, but that is a risk I'm willing to take,"

"Come back alive?" Kurt asked with a slight quiver in his voice.

"I am letting Pyro use sharp objects for this one."

Three pairs of eyes looked over at the mutant in question, who was sucking on a balloon, while performing the Chipmunk song.

"Christmas, Christmas hur…" Pyro's sentence was not finished as he jammed a large bottle of vodka into his mouth.

"Um. How long as he been like that?" Bobby asked with a raised eyebrow at his friend's abnormal behavior. Magneto met his eyes and shrugged.

"I'm not too sure. But it's an improvement in his normal behavior so I'm not complaining."

"Good point."

"So, any questions about what I need from you three tonight?"

Kurt squirmed in his seat. "Um, the victim is question knows me rather well. And Rogue's fond of him. So any chance I could not be involved in the ritualistic performance of bodily harm?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm a dead man aren't I?"

Bobby threw his arm around Kurt's shoulders sympathetically.

"You've been a dead man ever since you dyed Scooter's hair purple."

"You did that!"

"You have no proof!"

"Other than the fact that I was with you?"

Bobby blinked. "Curses! Foiled again!"

There was a brief silence, broken by Magneto slapping Pyro to make sure that he hadn't fallen asleep.

"Wot? Wot'j you do that for?" Magneto sighed, grabbed the empty vodka bottle, and whacked Pyro with it.


6:00

"You shouldn't look so upset Daddy. You'll really like this guy," Wanda assured her father, for the umpteenth time that day.

"Somehow I still find that hard to believe."

"He's absolutely perfect," Wanda prattled on, ignoring her father. "He's so kind, and charming. And he's gorgeous. Every time he grins I just wanna die."

"Another reason for him to," Magneto muttered under his breath. Not that he needed to keep his thoughts so secretive. Wanda wouldn't have heard Fred fall down the stairs.

"As if he weren't already perfect, he's also super rich!"

"He's here," Sabertooth announced to the room, as he watched a large, expensive luxury car pull into the driveway. A few moments later the doorbell rang.

A blur of white shot towards the door.

"Well, hello. I'm Pietro Maximoff, Wanda's elder twin," Pietro smoothly told the figure in the doorway. "Please come in."

"Put that back."

Pietro froze, the visitor's wallet in his fingers. Frowning, Pietro put the wallet in the outstretched hand of its rightful owner.

Warren Worthington grinned.

"Thank you. Where is your sister?"

Pietro pointed weakly in the direction of the living room.

"Warren!" Wanda cried as she leapt onto her current boyfriend and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"So, where is this mysterious father of yours?"

"Warren – my father, Erik Lehnsherr."

Warren Worthington III was a man who was good natured, easy going. Generally speaking, everyone liked him, and he liked everyone else. However, he hated Magneto. He absolutely loathed him. And he had been completely unaware of Magneto's real name.

Both men stood completely still, their eyes locked onto each other. Neither one blinked.

"Angel," Magneto hissed.

"Magneto," Warren returned.

"Warren!" Wanda cried.

"Father?" Pietro asked.

"Daddy."

"Wanda."

"Sis?"

"Angel."

"Idiot."

"Pietro."

"Magneto."

"Sweetums!"

"Todd!"

"Worthington!"

"Fire!"

"You!" 2

Off to the side, Sabertooth solemnly looked on at the heated, and confusing, exchange. "How come I'm always left out?" he moaned.

The front door opened and Logan stuck his head in.

"Sabertooth!"

"Logan!" Sabertooth leapt to his feet and jumped through the window.

Meanwhile, Wanda observed the hostility oozing from her father and Warren. Hoping to defuse the tension she stepped between the two with a glare. "Dinner time."


8:00

Dinner was a complete disaster.

There could be no doubt about that. Warren refused to talk to Magneto during the entire meal. Magneto had retaliated by bending all of Warren's silverware. As soon as he had finished with his food, Magneto had stormed off, with the rest of the house quick to follow suit, leaving Warren and Wanda at the table.

"Warren?" The winged mutant blinked. He tilted his head to look at his girlfriend. "Why did you act so childish?"

"Wanda – You know how I feel about Magneto. You know what he did to me. You know that the only reason I was in Mexico was because he was the only person I hated enough to fight against. You knew all that, yet you never told me that he was your father."

"He's changed Warren. He really has. If you'd only give him a chance…"

"A chance to do what? Kidnap me again? No thanks."

"He's changed Warren."

"A leopard can't change his spots, Wanda. Never can, never will."

"If that's how you feel about it…then I'm sorry but this won't work out."

"What?"

"I can't change my family Warren. Anyone who can't accept that, I can't accept. I'm sorry."

Warren Worthington III had just been dumped. For the first time ever. Not saying a word he rose from his seat and left the house. Wanda sobbed silently into her napkin.


Warren drove back to his penthouse in the city, his mind elsewhere. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he failed to notice the visitor hovering outside his balcony until he went out to stretch his wings.

"She deserves better than you," Magneto told the winged multibillionaire.

"She deserves better than you," Warren coolly replied.

"Perhaps she does. But at least I can admit to it."

Warren snorted. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. Besides you may have fooled her, but not me. You haven't changed a bit."

"Oh, I've changed. For example, before I never would have cared if you broke her heart. Times have changed."

"You've come to get me to take her back?"

"Oh no. I'm not so forgiving. You hurt her. So I hurt you." Warren felt a heavy weight land on his back, ice growing on his arms and legs, and was blinded by a bright flash in front of him.

As quickly as the assault began, it ended. Warren looked up at Magneto, his head spinning slightly.

"Is that the best you got old man?" Magneto smirked. Stretching his wings to their full span, Warren stepped the ledge and leapt at Magneto. Magneto levitated himself slightly higher, avoiding Warren's outstretched fists. It was when Warren attempted to turn that he noticed something was wrong.

He was flying erratically. He had no control over his movements. And there was a very large window in front of him.

Closing his eyes, Warrant smashed through the window and landed and a soft sticky substance.

"Not quite the tar and feathering I had in mind, but it'll do," Magneto said as he floated in the window, clutching several large, white feathers in his hand. Warren looked up at the myriad bottles lining the inside of the building he had landed in. They were labeled Superglue.

"I'll never get this out."


"So Warren has paid for his foolish idea and his rudeness," Magneto told Pietro.

"So what?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"He caught me taking his wallet. Do you realize how much money we could have charged on his account? That's the ultimate revenge!" Magneto sighed. Reluctantly he grabbed something from his pocket and handed it to Pietro.

"Here. Your sister has the rest, and she's taking all the female members of the Institute on a shopping spree. I suggest you spend as much as you can."

Pietro looked as his father in complete disbelief.

"How?"

"You still have much to learn." Pietro grabbed Warren's credit card and sped off.


1- Seinfeld versus the old lady for the marble bread anyone?

2- The idea for the exchange came from Family Guy.

Another boyfriend bites the dust.

What poor fool is next? And what should happen to him?

Send in those ideas!