Xmengirlzrule – An important fact you'll want to remember: boys never learn.

Thanks to Spiffythefaery for all the hard work she does. If you could call editing my stories hard work.


Wednesday

6:00 pm

Magneto looked down at the green, bubbling liquid with interest. "What exactly will this prove?"

Henry McCoy gently tapped a vial of an orange solution. "It is my intention to find out what makes Twinkies so tasty."

Magneto pulled his protective goggles down. "Couldn't you just read the ingredients off the box?"

"If I wanted to do it the boring way," Hank replied as he used an eyedropper to suck up the orange fluid. Magneto took a few steps back.

"I'm not sure that this is a good idea, Hank."

"Nonsense. What's the worst that could happen?" Hank asked as he liberally applied the orange solution to the green, bubbling thing.

A bright flash of light was accompanied by a loud crack , followed by the foul stench of rotten eggs. Magneto slowly rose from under the desk where he had sought protection.

"Did you always have bright yellow polka-dots?"

If looks could kill, Hank would have slain Magneto on the spot. "Har-har-har."

Hank turned to look at the black ash that was once a set of test tubes. "Perhaps I used too much neon. What do you think?"

"I think you should read the damn box. This is the sixth time this week you've blown up your lab."

Hank waved away the comment. "All in the name of progress. Now what did you come over here for?"

"I was looking for those two juvenile imbeciles."

"Bobby and Kurt? What they'd do?"

"Actually, I was referring to my children."

"Oh. What'd they do?"

"They were giggling at dinner."

"Giggling?" Hank asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Giggling is not allowed during mealtimes!"

"Well I'm sure they are around somewhere. I'd check with Rogue first. Although she hasn't been home much lately."

"Why not?"

Hank shrugged. "I haven't been paying too much attention to the students lately, except for Bobby's theft of my Twinkies."

"I'm pretty sure Logan just blamed him for it."

"Oh, he took them. And until I get sufficient retribution, he'll suffer. Oh yes! Mwhahaha!"

Magneto cast a frightened look at Hank before running for his life.


"Where are all the children, Charles?"

"Out shopping, I would imagine."

"Shopping? For what?"

"There's a rhythmic ceremonial ritual coming up." 1

"Just once, would it kill you to speak English?"

"School dance."

"Dance?"

"Oh, don't give me that look Erik. It wasn't my idea. You'd think these kids would learn. At the last one, evil other dimension dinosaur thingies showed up. To be fair, Forge was involved in that one. This time I'm making sure he's safely locked away without that doohickey of his."

"Dance?"

"Yes, Erik. A dance. You have been to them before. You go with a date."

"A date?" Magneto began to look terrified.

"Well one could go by themselves, but it is frowned upon. Only social outcasts go by themselves."

"Date? They need dates for this? But then that means…" Magneto trailed off. There was no need to finish his sentence. Xavier smiled at his friend.

"Don't worry. I'm well prepared. I've got scotch!"


8:00 pm

Wanda looked at her father with a weary eye. He had been acting rather odd since he rounded everyone up from Xavier's.

"I fail to see why I should have to tell you anything."

"Because I'm your father."

"So what?" Wanda's eyes locked with Magneto's . He frowned. He was going to have to try a different approach.

"If you were going to go, I was going to offer to buy you a new dress. But if you don't want one…"

His comments had struck a chord. No girl in the world could resist the opportunity to buy a brand new, fancy dress and have their father pay for the whole thing without complaint.

"I'm going. I just don't have a date yet."

Magneto's eyebrows rose slightly. "Really?"


Thursday

3:30 pm

"Well?" Magneto asked the boys sitting across from him.

"So far, no one, but I bet that someone asks her tomorrow," Bobby answered.

"Someone she is likely to accept?"

"Considering what you've done, I think she'd accept if Todd asked," Lance chimed in. Magneto sent him a scathing look.

"Don't even consider it."

Todd scowled but remained silent.

"I believe that I have reached a solution to this dilemma," Magneto declared as he steepled his fingers in an eerily disturbing imitation of Xavier. "Instead of not preventing someone from asking Wanda to the dance, I shall pick someone to accompany her. Someone I know I can trust. Someone who has no romantic interest in her. Someone who will not fail me."

"Love to but can't. I'm permanently banned from all school functions after I superglued Kelly to the dumpster," Bobby replied nonchalantly. Magneto shook his head.

"No, I was thinking of him."

"But I've already got a date!" Kurt protested.

"And I care because…?'

"Oh come on! Amanda's been looking forward to this for months!"

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt. You misunderstand me. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."

"And if I say no?"

Magneto sighed. "Have you ever wondered what would happen if your mother found out about you dating a human girl?"

Kurt's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

"I'd rather not but you are giving me little choice."

Kurt slumped forward. "Alright, you win."

Magneto grinned in triumph. "Excellent. Now go ask Wanda and don't worry about Amanda; I'll take care of her."


"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"She can't go," Kurt replied.

"Did my father put you up to this?"

Kurt gave no verbal reply. Not that Wanda needed any. She sighed audibly. "I guess it'll work out in everyone's best interests if I just say yes and it's probably the only way I'm going to get asked to go. Alright Kurt."


"You're going with Kurt? How delightful!"

"Put a sock in it. I know you had something to do with this, Father."

"Wanda, if I had any say in the matter, you wouldn't be going out at all. But if you must, I have no objection to you going with Kurt. He is an upstanding young man. Except for all the shedding."

Wanda cast a look at her father beneath narrowed eyelids. "At any rate, you said you'd buy me whatever dress I wanted and I found one I want."

"Alright. How much?"

"Twenty five hundred."

"Are you serious? Is it laced with diamonds?"

"You promised!"

"I thought it would be a reasonable price. That's highway robbery!"

"You promised!"

"I'll get you the dress. I promise."

"No, you'll buy me the dress. You won't steal it."

"I never said steal."

"Just buy it!"


6:00 pm

"I'm not paying for a limo."

"You said you would."

"I just bought you a twenty five hundred dollar dress. You can ride in a battered, old jeep to the stupid dance."

"Hey!"

"Shut up Lance. No limo, end of discussion."

"But we can't all fit into Lance's jeep."

"It holds 4 people and Fred. You can make it work."

"No we can't. There's too many people."

"Then tell your brother to meet his dates at the dance."

Wanda groaned in frustration. "You are being impossible."

Magneto contemplated this for a moment. "Yes. Yes I am."

Wanda screeched in frustration.


Friday

7:00 pm

"How long must we stand here?" Magneto demanded as he cast a glance of pure hatred at the stairs. The entire house, plus Kurt, had assembled at the foot of the stairs, waiting for Wanda to make her grand entrance.

"It's supposed to make her entrance grander."

"I don't care about her entrance. I care about finding out who stole my catnip!"

"You told me you quit that disgusting habit."

"I did quit!"

"Ehem."

The soft cough interrupted the pandemonium. Everyone turned to face Wanda, who was standing at the top of the stairs in swirls of black and red silk. Lines of sparkling crystals were sewn into the crimson bodice, the pattern spilling down onto the long black dress. It was clear to every male in the vicinity, save one, that it was twenty five hundred dollars well spent.

Most of the boys stared at Wanda, gaping. Sabretooth's eyes had glazed over, but he was staring at a mouse that had stuck its head out of the wall. Magneto looked at the dress bitterly, still convinced that it had been too expensive.

"You look beautiful," Kurt said as he offered his hand. Wanda smiled as she took it.

"Thank you."

"Red and black? What is it about those colors?" Pietro asked. Wanda shrugged.

"I'd wear blue, but it looks better on someone else."

"We better get going. Otherwise I'll be late to meet Kitty."


"Magneto and Pyro, Magneto and Pyro. One is a genius, the other's insane!" John sung at the top of his lungs. 2

"For the love of god shut up!"

"What's wrong Saby-waby? Going cuckoo? For Coco-Puffs?" John cackled with delight.

"That's it Fire Bug. You're dead!"

"Can't catch me!"

John took off through the house, Sabretooth close behind him. It wasn't until John sought refuge in Wanda's room that the chase stopped. John bolted past Magneto and slammed Wanda's door shut behind him.

"John, come out of there. Wanda will skin you alive," Magneto said, knocking on the door.

There was no response.

"John, come out. Now."

Still no answer.

"Don't make me come in there!"

Nothing.

Muttering to himself about insane pyromaniacs, Magneto summoned up his power and tore Wanda's door from its hinges.

"Now come out of there…" Magneto trailed off as he entered the room. John was sitting on Wanda's bed, reading a book. "What are you doing?"

"Reading Wanda's journal," John replied absently.

"Put that back!"

"But it's interesting. Gives a great insight on her thoughts and feelings."

"I will not stoop to snooping around in my daughter's private diary and neither will you," Magneto said as he snatched it from John's hands. The boy shrugged.

"Too bad, she was just talking about her crush on Kurt."

"What!" Magneto tore the book open. His eyes quickly scanned the pages. He slumped to the floor.

"Oh god. What have I done?"


"I want you to find out exactly what is going on."

"You handpicked Kurt, though. Why are we going to spy on him?" Bobby asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! I know the answer! It's because of that book I found isn't it?"

"Quiet John. Just do it, Drake."

"Fine, fine. We're going."


7:20 pm

"Red Base, this is Ice-leader," the radio on Magneto's desk squawked. Logan leaned over and activated it.

"This is Red Base, Ice-leader. What's your status?" Logan growled. Magneto shot a questioning look over at the X-Man.

"Why exactly are you over here?"

Logan shrugged. "I like spying on the kids."

"Flame-one and I have infiltrated the school. No sign of the primary target."

"What about the secondary target?" Logan asked. There was a slight pause.

"Affirmative. We have visual confirmation now. Repeat, we have visual confirmation."

Magneto raised an eyebrow. "You have them spying on someone else?"

"It's the price Bobby must pay to be let out."

"Who?"

"Everyone."

"And who are they talking about?"

"No clue," Logan replied as he activated the radio. "What's going on?"

"Kitty and Lance have just gone into one of the classrooms."

"Stop them!"

"No! You must not be seen!" Magneto called into the radio. He turned to Logan. "You can deal with Lance and Kitty when they get back."

Logan muttered underneath his breath. Magneto was certain he heard the word 'castration' several times.

"Now find out where Wanda and Kurt are."

"Repeat Red Base," Bobby's voice crackled over the radio. Magneto sighed and cast a glance at Logan.

"How do you constantly put up with this boy?"

"I make Scott watch him."

"Good plan," Magneto replied as he turned back to the radio. "Find Wanda!"

"We do not read you. Repeat, we do not copy. Repeat orders Red Base."

Magneto sighed again. These boys were stubborn. "This is Red Base. Locate the primary target."

"Acknowledged, Red Base. Moving to locate primary…" Magneto and Logan exchanged glances at the sudden silence. The radio remained silent for several more moments before bursting back to life.

"Primary target found. Repeat, we have located the primary target. I'm sending in Flame-one for a closer look."

Silence reigned supreme as Magneto and Logan waited for an update. The radio quickly burst back to life.

"Um. The targets are – uh – engaging in – um…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Wanda's about to kiss him! Are we to engage? Repeat, do we engage?"

Magneto had no time to think. "No. Do not engage. Return home immediately."

Logan switched the radio off. "What are you going to do?"

"Probably something similar to what you're going to do to Lance."

Logan grinned at the Master of Magnetism. "You're evil, but I love it."


Kurt was frozen as Wanda pulled back from the kiss. It had been completely unexpected.

Sure, they had been having fun. But Kurt hadn't seen this coming. His first thought was that he really liked it. His second was that he was supposed to be dating Amanda. His final thought was that if Magneto ever found out, he was dead.

Wanda blushed fiercely as she glanced up at Kurt from under narrowed eyelids. "Sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Kurt merely stared back at her, his mind struggling to come to grips with what had just happened.

"Kurt, listen. I got to tell you something alright?" Wanda began. Seeing no interruption, she continued. "I've had this thing for you for a while now. And I know you're with Amanda but I can't keep this in anymore. And, well, I just wanted you to know how I felt."

Kurt said nothing at first. He rubbed his fingers over his lips. He realized that he was thinking about Wanda more and more lately. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing. He had a twinge of guilt as he thought about Amanda. He really did care for her, but Wanda had struck a chord with Kurt since they had met in the mall. 3

Hormones kicked in as Kurt grinned at Wanda. Besides, he rationalized to himself, if Magneto was going to get him in the end, he might as well enjoy it.

Wanda grinned back at Kurt for a moment before they embraced in another passionate kiss.


"What do you mean Kurt has had a crush on Wanda for six months?" Magneto shouted. Charles frowned at his friend.

"Don't kill the messenger. I thought you'd like to know."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Magneto screamed as one of his golf clubs went hurtling into a wall.

"Must have slipped my mind. Besides, I didn't know Kurt was going with Wanda to the ball. If you must blame someone for this, blame Bobby."

"What did I do?"

"Blaming you seems to be the popular trend lately. Mustn't be left out," Xavier replied with a shrug and another shot of scotch.

"If we can get back to the problem at hand!"

"So what do you plan to do?" Bobby asked.

Magneto frowned and shook his head. "I can't trust you this time. Or any of my usual accomplices, besides John and Victor. I will have to deal with him myself."


Saturday

(12:00 am)

Wanda sighed contently to herself as Kurt vanished in a cloud of brimstone. Tonight had gone even better than she could have hoped. To think that her father had actually set her up with Kurt.

All in all, life was good.

As she entered the house with the rest of the Brotherhood, she expected her father to be waiting for them. Magneto was not there. After a few questioning calls, Wanda set out in search of him, with no luck.

Magneto wasn't in the house. Neither were John or Sabretooth, for that matter. Wanda panicked. Kurt was in trouble.

Kurt collapsed onto his bed, happy and tired. The evening had been great. Sure, he'd have to tell Amanda about it eventually and Magneto would find out – but those were problems for another day. Tonight all he could think about was Wanda.

He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't even noticed he had company until Sabretooth grabbed him by the tail and John fastened a collar around his neck.

"What's going on?"

"Good evening Kurt," Magneto replied, his eyes brimming with the promise of pain.

"Guten Abend. What are you doing here?"

"You betrayed me, Kurt and I don't tolerate traitors. You will suffer for what you did tonight. There is no escape. We've fastened a mutant inhibitor collar around your neck. It will prevent you from teleporting away."

"Please," Kurt began to plead. "Don't hurt me."

Magneto grinned as John and Sabretooth advanced.

All Kurt could do was scream.


Scott looked up as he dropped Forge's bionic arm to the ground in shock.

"Professor, was that Kurt?"

"Probably."

"Are we going to help him?"

"Nope."


(11:00 am)

Kurt was freezing when he awoke, and with good reason. He was lying on the coldest surface he had ever felt, it was like ice. Normally, Kurt was protected from the cold by his natural fur coat.

As he opened his eyes further, Kurt saw why he was so cold. His fur had been shaven off completely and, as Kurt's gaze went beyond his body, he noticed that he was surrounded by dozens of penguins and there were a bunch of people gawking at him. Kurt tried to scream, but he couldn't open his mouth. It was glued shut.

So Kurt was forced to sit in the penguin exhibit at the zoo, naked, cold, and miserable until the police arrived to arrest him on charges of indecency in public.


(1:00 pm)

"You locked him in the penguin exhibit! He nearly froze to death!"

Magneto cast an irritated glance at his daughter. "Don't you see that I'm on the phone?"

"How could you do that to him?"

"No, Wanda, I don't mind you interrupting my phone call with the governor. Please interrupt me."

"You are an evil, vile, disgusting old coot!" Wanda shouted as she slammed the door shut.

"I'm not old!"


"I've had it with him! He destroys every single relationship I have. I can't have a normal life with him around!" Wanda shouted as she collapsed on her bed.

"Then maybe you should do what Pietro suggested and play his game," Rogue said as she handed the now crying Wanda a box of Kleenexes.

"What do you mean?"

"Drive him crazy. Date boys that you know he can't stand. Eventually he'll accept it.

"That won't work."

Rogue frowned.

"You know your father Wanda. He's always in control. What you need to do is shake up his world. You need to take control."

Wanda's lips twitched into a small grin. "You know something. You're absolutely right."


1 – Borrowed from Doc Brown in "Back to the Future"

2 – The theme song for "Pinky and the Brain"

3 – Reference back to "Hex Factor"

What does Wanda have planned for her father?

Who will dare to come calling next?

Send in those ideas and those reviews!