I really have nothing to respond to from last chapter. Although they installed some reply option on the reviews. But that involves way too much work.

Long live the lazy.

Thanks to Spiffythefaery for betaing this while sober, which is a great task considering she just turned 21.


Monday

9:00 am

"Please Charles, I'm begging you!"

"For the last time, no."

"Charles, I need your help."

"I'm not tampering with Wanda's mind. Especially not to make her have an urge not to date."

"But I don't have peace anymore. None. I'm stressed. My hair's gone white for god sakes."

"Wasn't it always white?"

"Don't change the subject. I haven't slept in a week."

"You could stop interfering with her dating life."

"Let's stick to realistic solutions here. She needs to stop dating."

"Aren't up to the challenge anymore?"

"I've spent the past seven days chasing away eight – EIGHT – bloody suitors!"

"Eight? In seven days?"

"You see why I need help?"

"What happened?"

"Let me tell you…"


Monday

4:32 pm

Magneto looked at the man standing in his living room. Then he turned his gaze to Wanda.

"April Fools Day is several months off."

"That's why it's not a joke."

"Wanda, this not funny."

"I don't joke about dating people."

Magneto pointed at the hulking figure. "You are not going out with him!"

"Why not?"

"He's the Juggernaught! He's Charles' older brother!"

Wanda shrugged. "I like older men."

Despite Magneto's intense glare, Wanda would not back down. Seeing that his daughter was being stubborn, Magneto turned to face the massive mutant.

"Cain, might I have a word with you in private?"


Magneto sat down and motioned for Juggernaught to do the same. The wooden chair creaked under the weight.

"Cain, you have to understand my reservations about you going out with Wanda."

"Oh yeah. I understand. I'll be very nice to her."

"Also, and this is completely non-sequitor, aren't you supposed to be in jail?"

"Am I? No one tells me these things."

"Not even your brother?"

"Baldy? He doesn't talk to me anymore. Because he's jealous of the guns," Juggernaught said with a grin as he flexed, revealing his disturbingly large biceps. "I can lift anything without a thought. Baldy could never brag that."

It was at this moment that Magneto had an epiphany. Lightning struck his brain. His lips twisted into a grin.

"Cain, I'd be more than happy to let you go out with Wanda. But before I do, I need you to do something for me. An act of faith, to show that I can trust you."


Magneto looked down at the sea lazily rolling up onto the beach. The salty air stung his nostrils. Juggernaught looked at him with confusion.

"Why are we here Mr. Magnet?"

"Because you are going to do a favor for me, Cain, a favor that will prove that you are ready to take Wanda out."

"Oh boy. I'll do anything."

Magneto pointed upwards. "Do you see that Cain?"

Juggernaught's gaze followed Magneto's finger. "The sky?"

"Yes, the sky. Did you know that the only reason that the sky doesn't fall is because a man named Atlas holds it up?"

"Really?"

"Yes. But Atlas is getting tired. And he might let the sky fall. We can't have that happen."

"That sounds bad."

"It is. You can lift anything. I need you to hold up the sky for Atlas, so he can rest."

"Hold up the sky? For how long?"

"About fifty years."

"Ok. How do I hold up the sky?"

"Place your palms towards the sky and push."

"Like this Mr. Magnet?" Juggernaught asked as he followed the instructions. Magneto grinned.

"Exactly like that. I'll see you in fifty years Cain."


Tuesday

2:30 pm

Magneto glared at the boy across the desk.

"What do you mean there's another one coming tonight?"

"Just what I said. Ray asked Wanda out and he's coming around tonight," Bobby replied.

"But…but she was going out with Juggernaught yesterday."

"That was yesterday. This is today."

"Doesn't she have any downtime between dates anymore?"

"Apparently not when you chase them off before they go on the date."

"What was that?"

"I said…"

"Chase them off before she can actually go out with them? Brilliant idea! Let's go!" Magneto leapt out of his chair and rushed out the door.

"Where are we going?"


Bayville Park was a cheery place. It had the finest equipment that the town could afford – from swings to giant caterpillars. It also had a relic of a bygone era. An old well, long since out of use, rested in the grassy plane. The well had been boarded up and its sole function was now a place to sit or put ones drink.

Magneto had found a new use.

Pyro held on to a long rope that was tied to the top of the well. The rope descended into the newly opened well bottom.

Magneto looked down at the well for a moment before turning to face Bobby. "I think he's been down there long enough."

"Bring him up John."

Pyro pulled at the rope, bringing a very wet, sputtering Ray Crisp.

"Are you willing to reconsider your position Mr. Crisp?" Magneto asked.

"What? What are you talking about?'

"We've been through this already."

"No we haven't. You showed up and dropped me in this well. Now I'm wet. I hate getting wet!" Ray shouted.

"There's no talking to you like this. John -" Magneto nodded. Pyro released the rope and Ray splashed into the water.

"You know, I think he's right," Bobby said as he peered over the edge.

"It doesn't matter if he's right. It's psychological. He hates being wet, so we'll make him wet. Bring him up John."

Ray was pulled up again, glaring. "I'm so going to give you such a bad electric shock when I get out of here."

"John."

Ray splashed into the water again. After a few moments, Magneto motioned for Pyro to pull him back up.

"Are we ready to talk?"

"What do you want?"

"You asked my daughter out."

"Yeah. So what?"

"Obviously you aren't getting the point. Back you go."

"No, waaiiit…" Ray's cry was cut off by his reentry into the well.

"Isn't the water in wells poisonous or something?"

"Look at my face Bobby. What do you see?"

"A man that doesn't care?"

"Exactly. Perhaps now he's ready to be cooperative."

Ray's head reappeared above the lip of the well. "Please, don't drop me in there any more. I'm going to short out."

"I will be more than happy to let you go, on one condition."

"Fine, I won't go out with Wanda. Just get me out of here."

"Very well," Magneto looked at Pyro silently ordering him to release Ray. However, he turned to see Pyro burning through the rope. The last thread snapped and Ray cried out as he plunged back into the cold, dark water. Magneto rushed to the well only to see it lit up by sparks of electricity crawling along the water's surface.

Straightening himself, Magneto looked to his accomplices. "Right. If anyone asks we were watching the game at my house."


Wednesday

6:00 pm

"Fork it over?" Magneto demanded of the person standing in his doorway.

"Fork what over?" Forge replied.

"You want to go out with Wanda, you give me your arm."

"My arm? But then I'll only have one."

"I don't care. I need collateral."

"Collateral? For taking your daughter out?"

"Listen, hippie, the only reason I'm letting you go out with Wanda is because I have several letters from Charles, Hank, and Logan testifying to your character."

"You got letters of recommendation?"

"No hand, no date. Capice?"

Forge glared at Magneto but obliged. He unhooked his hand and handed it over. Magneto grinned victoriously.

"Wanda, your date is here!" Magneto called as he walked away.

Wanda raced down the stairs to pull to a sudden halt. "Where's your hand?"

"Misplaced it," Forge grumbled.


"Now what does this button do?" Magneto asked no one particular as he poked at the mechanical appendage. There was a whirring sound as the bionic arm produced a can opener.

"That makes 346 buttons that produce a can opener," Bobby said as he made note of this fact.

"What possible use could he have for that many can openers?"

"I wonder what it looks like on the inside."

"That's a good question. John, open the hand."

John grabbed the arm and threw it out the window. Grinning like an idiot, he followed it.

Magneto looked out the window to observe John smashing the limb against the side of the house. "Maybe that was a bad idea."


"More duct tape," Magneto demanded, stretching out his hand.

"Duct tape," Bobby nodded, planting a roll of the product into the outstretched hand.

"Boss! That hippie wants his hand back."

"Keep him occupied, Sabretooth. I'm not done fixing it yet."

The door burst open as Forge rushed in. "You broke my hand?"

"Technically, Pyro did. I'm fixing it. Look, good as new!" Magneto said, waving the heavily duct taped hand.

"Ah man. It'll take me weeks to fix it."

"It is fixed. Now put it on."

"No."

"Put it on," Magneto growled. Forge sighed, but did as Magneto asked. The bionic arm began to whir loudly and move – seemly of its own accord.

"What the hell?" Forge asked as 346 can openers sprung out of the arm and began to head towards Forge's head. Forge attempted to hold the possessed hand back, but it was stronger than he was. So focused on the battle with the hand; Forge failed to notice that he was approaching the broken window. Which he promptly fell out of. His cry of terror turned into a cry of pain as the bionic hand won out.

"That has to hurt."


Thursday

3:00 pm

Magneto looked at his daughter in horror. "What do you mean you have a date tonight?"

"It's pretty self-explanatory."

"When do you find the time to find all these boys?"

"It just happens."

"It doesn't just happen. For god sakes you were on a field trip today! At a museum. Quite possibly the most mind numbing place in the world and you still manage to get asked out? Are you hypnotizing people?"

"No. He was at the museum. He's really into art."

"And he's your age? That's impossible."

"No. He likes art. What's wrong with that?

"No one under the age of seventy willingly visits art museums. No one."

"Speaking from experience?"

"I'll have you know I'm not a day over forty-five."

"Sure Pops. And I'm the Queen of England."

Magneto sighed as he pinched his nose in frustration. "What's this boy's name?"

"Jason."


7:30 pm

Magneto stared at the door, his mind lost in thought. Wanda had just left on her date, but there was something about the boy, something familiar that Magneto couldn't quite put his finger on.

"He was weird," Lance said after Jason left. True, the boy had been very peculiar. He was polite to Magneto – yet his behavior differed greatly from everyone else his age that Magneto had ever met. There was something else troubling Magneto. Something about the boy's eyes. They portrayed a life much older than what seemed possible.

"Boys, what did you think about Jason?"

"Seemed okay to me," Fred replied with a shrug. Todd nodded in agreement.

"He was weird, but given all the people we know, who isn't?" Lance said.

"Well I didn't like him," Pietro declared.

"That's because you were threatened by his looks."

"Threatened? By him? That's not even a fair comparison."

"For him maybe."

"Please, gentlemen, back to the topic at hand," Magneto interjected.

"Boss, I don't like him."

"Why not Pyro?"

"Samantha's scared of him."

"Now you're giving your lighter feelings? Pyro, it's an inanimate object!"

"Shhh. He didn't mean that baby," John said as he stroked the lighter.

"He smelled familiar," Sabretooth added. Magneto looked at the feral mutant.

"What? From where?"

"Somewhere in the good old days. Back when we were the Acolytes. Definitely from back then."

Something clicked in Magneto's mind. He suddenly understood who Jason really was.

"That monkey! How dare he take Wanda out! Pyro, go get Bobby and bring him back here. Mastermind will pay."


8:30 pm

Magneto looked around his office.

Sabretooth was working with Pyro to add several spiky metal appendages to a blocky wooden chair. Bobby stood near the desk, rummaging through the briefcase he had brought with him.

"Are you certain this will work?" Magneto asked.

Bobby didn't even look up. "Of course this will work. It's always worked. Why do you think Logan is addicted to alcohol?"

"Because children drive him to insanity."

"Ok that too."

"No mistakes Bobby."

"I won't make any. Just bring him back, and I'll be ready," Bobby replied with a grin as he shut the case, displaying the cover reading "Lil' Bastard's Brainwashing Kit." 1


9:00 pm

Magneto watched as Jason walked down the street. He had just dropped Wanda off at the house and was going to back to wherever he hid.

Not that he was going to get there.

Magneto assumed that Jason was maintaining his illusion – just in case anyone from the house was looking. Not that it mattered.

He waited until the house was out of sight, just so he could confront Mastermind without Wanda potentially watching. He then hovered down in front of the unsuspecting mutant.

"Good evening Jason."

The man jumped. His eyes narrowed in concentration – in what Magneto assumed was an attempt to strengthen his illusion.

"I told you before; your illusions don't work on me. Honestly, you should have learned that by now," Magneto said, lightly tapping his helmet.

Jason frowned. "What do you want?"

"What do I want, you miserable little monkey? I want to know why you are taking my daughter out."

"She understands culture. She understands the niceties of life. She understands me."

"Do you think that she would understand you if you appeared to her as the missing link you are?"

"I have other matters to attend to Magneto. So what do you want from me?"

"I want to take you somewhere, Mastermind. But first, I want you to scream."


11:00 pm

"I think it looks good," Magneto remarked.

"When did you get Michelangelo's David?" Pietro asked.

"It's not the real thing, but it looks amazing like it."

"Where'd you get it?"

"It's amazing what you can find when you put your mind to it. Right, Bobby?"

"Yup. Just remember to take care of him. He won't move until someone says the magic phrase."

"Believe me; I don't think we have to worry about that."


Friday

5:00 pm

"No, you can't go out with a member of the Morlocks."

"Why not?" Wanda demanded.

"They smell."

"Don't you say that we should treat all mutants with respect and dignity?"

"Yes. But Morlocks aren't real people."

"Well, I like Caliban and I'm going out with him tonight."

"Caliban? Couldn't you have picked one that at least tries to act like a person? Not that reptilian, psychotic freak?"

"Listen, he's already having panic attacks about coming over tonight, so be nice."


6:00 pm

"For heaven's sake he's not going to eat you – stop fidgeting!" Magneto snapped.

"Ssssorry, but catsss make me nervous," Caliban hissed.

"He's mostly domesticated."

"M-mostly?"

"Got a problem with it?" Sabretooth growled.

"N-n-noo. No problem."

Silence reigned over the room. Caliban squirmed under the glares of Sabretooth and Magneto. Desperate to end the silence, he tried to start a new line of conversation.

"You have – um – wonderful – uh," Caliban muttered as he frantically looked around the room for something to catch his eye. "wonderful –uh- shoes. Wonderful shoes."

Magneto looked down at his loafers. "They are nice. Quite comfy. I was thinking about getting a new pair of boots though. Made out of something eye catching. Like alligator skin. It just pops out and the texture is…" Magneto trailed off. "I wonder what you would look like as boots. Sabretooth, skin him."

Caliban leapt to his feet with a high pitched scream and wail as he bolted out of the house. Sabretooth turned to follow.

"Don't actually skin him."

"You never let me have any fun."


Saturday

1:00 pm

"You did what, Jamie?"

The young boy ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how he managed to get in this predicament. "I think I may have asked Wanda out."

"You think? You don't know?"

"Well – I didn't ask her. I think one of my clones did."

"A clone?" Magneto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well – a duplicate really. I think he was the daring part of my personality."

"Is there any reason you're not in a mental institution?"

"N-no. I'm sane. I produce duplicates. And they take on different aspects of my personality."

"And this "Daring One" asked my daughter out?"

"And she said yes."

"Well, this Daring One must be taught a lesson. Produce him now!" Magneto demanded.

"I can't!" Jamie objected.

"What do you mean you can't?"

"They get produced randomly whenever I get hit."

"Really?"

"Ye…" Jamie was interrupted by Magneto whacking him across the head with a frying pan. Instantly a copy of Jamie split from the original.

"You! Copy! Are you Daring?"

"Nobody ever wants to talk to me. They always ignore me. Always. Nobody likes me."

"Crap. Depressing. We'll have to try this again."

"No, wai…" Jamie's plea was cut off by another whack from the frying pan. Another clone appeared.

"You! Clone! Are you Daring?"

"No, I'm Sugar-High!" Sugar-High bolted off, cackling.

Magneto watched the clone go. "This might be more difficult than I thought."


2:30 pm

Jamie clones were everywhere. Every inch of space was occupied by the loud duplicates. And Magneto's arm was getting tired.

"You know, I just need a little tap to produce one," the original Jamie said as Magneto readied another blow with the frying pan.

"Can't break precedent," he replied. With a loud thud, the frying pan connected with Jamie's head. A new duplicate split off.

"You! Are you Daring?"

"Of course I'm Daring. Let me tell you something. Wanda is smoking."

"Why you little!" Magneto growled as he leapt forward and began strangling the forthright clone.

"What's going on?" Wanda asked as she descended the stairs, clad in a bathing suit.

"Nothing," Magneto replied as he attempted to hide the clone behind his back, while still strangling him.

Wanda raised an eyebrow at her father. "Well, I've got a date at the beach. I'll see you later."

With that said, she walked out the door.

"To the beach!" Magneto declared, unceremoniously dropping the clone to the floor.


3:00 pm

Magneto stood out. Clad in a full body, 1930s magenta swimming suit, he was easy to spot amongst the scantily clad beach goers. Fortunately, he wasn't alone.

Pietro zipped up to his father. "Why am I here? And what are you wearing?"

"I'm looking for your sister. Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, she's over there. With that blonde guy," Pietro pointed. Magneto followed his son's finger.

"Another Summers!"

"He's a Summers? He doesn't seem to have a stick up his…"

"Thank you Pietro. I want you to distract your sister. Get that Summers boy out on his surfboard, alone."

"Why?"

"Don't question, just do it."

Magneto began to shake his arms and legs in an odd manner. Pietro could merely stare at his father.

"Stop standing around and move!"


The water was colder than Magneto had expected. Sitting in the water just off shore, he watched as his son went up to Wanda and Alex and began a heated conversation. He couldn't hear what was behind said but Alex grabbed his surf board and headed into the water. Magneto grinned.

Ever since the incident with Scott, he had expected Alex to show up sooner or later. Some sort of sibling rivalry, he suspected. And he had prepared. Gripping his hand more tightly around the small device, Magneto waited until Alex was close.

Ducking under the water, Magneto swam towards the surf board, with a little bit of propulsion from his powers. Safely underneath the board, Magneto reached up and firmly planted the device. He continued swimming on as Alex went further out to sea.

As a benefit of having total mastery of the magnetic field of the earth, Magneto had no need for a detonator; he was a walking one. With just a thought, the C-4 device exploded.


Sunday

7:30 pm

"Who are you?" Magneto asked the boy standing in his doorway.

"My name is Paul, sir. I'm here to take Wanda out."

"Paul? I don't recognize you. In fact, I've never heard of you. What do you do?"

"Well, I'm a student at Bayville High."

"No, no. I didn't mean your profession. I meant your powers."

"Powers?"

"Yes, your mutant ability."

"Mutant?"

Magneto's eyes narrowed. "You are a mutant, aren't you?"

"No sir."

Magneto cried out in rage and somehow producing a large double-sided axe. Paul realized he had made a terrible mistake and ran. Magneto followed, cursing, and swinging the giant axe over his head.


Monday

9:00 am

"So you see, I need your help."

"Sorry, but no."

"Charles, please."

"Erik, no. Besides, why don't you just have Pyro follow her around to make sure no one asks her out?"

"Have Pyro follow her?"

"Or someone you can trust."

"At this point, I can only trust Pyro or Sabretooth and I'm against letting Sabretooth out. He's more of an indoor breed," Magneto sighed. "Pyro it is, I suppose."

"Don't worry Erik. This will work out. I know it."


1 – The Simpsons

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