Omg. I didn't expect even 5 reviews. Rock on, ppls of the Universe! I'M SO HAPPY! I'm sorry it took so long, but my comp crashed in the middle of making this…I know, it's short, I was uninspired at the time…this story just came up with a life of it's own when I started to write, so excuse any OOCness.
He awoke, completely alone. Not that he minded, he was always alone, even in the crowds of people that surrounded him. It's not that he disliked being alone, in fact, the silence was very companionable. Even in the shower, the sound of falling water and the steamy air added to the majestic quiet. He looked in the mirror and fixed his hair in it's usual way, put on his normal shirt, and walked out the front door.
Even before the camped out fan girls turned to see the idol of all their fantasies, and shout his glorious name, he remembered the very good advice his brother had told him, so long ago… "If you want to live, never, ever, ever, go out the front door."
"SASUKE-KUN!" The name reverberated as the multitude of gathered hormonal women shouted in a disjointed chorus.
Damn it all to hell.
Chapter 2, Just one of those days…
Alright, where were we, hmm…Naru gets his picture taken, Konohamaru trips and falls on his face, Ebisu is being…himself…ah, here we are!
"Hey, Naruto! Let go of him! That's the 3rd Hokage-sama's grandson!"
"Go ahead and punch me!" Konohamaru stared defiantly into Naruto's eyes, thinking that the future Hokage was a wimp-ass like his tutor!
"DO YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN, YOU MORON!" Said Naruto, swiftly punching Konahamaru upside the head.
"Sigh. Ebisu, get these two idiots out of here. And while your at it, bring in Iruka." The Hokage ordered, "Why are you still standing there? GET MOVING!" He ordered, yet again.
"Yes sir!"
A short while later…
"Um, you sent for me Hokage-sama." Iruka asked, standing in the door frame of the 3rd's office.
"Yes. I want to tell you something. It has to do with one of your pupils, Naruto. Well, more about…you know what."
"I understand. Go on."
"Have you been wondering why the Kyuubi hasn't taken over his body yet?"
Iruka pondered the question. It had been bugging him since yesterday. He couldn't understand why the Kyuubi, who had been sealed for a good 12 years, would hesitate on this opportunity to take revenge. "Yes. It's strange. Why would he sit in his container when the lid is open, so to speak?"
"There's a very good reason. I noticed when Ebisu dragged Naruto out, he still bore the seal on his skin. Therefore, he did not release the Kyuubi from his body. The Kyuubi's mind is free to take over only Naruto's body, but why do that? I think he's planning to use Naruto's jutsu to make his own body."
"But you just said that he's still sealed to his body! How can he leave Naruto if-" Iruka was interrupted by a wave of the Hokage's hand.
"You don't understand. Using the Bunshin jutsu means that their chakras remain linked, therefore allowing a chink in the cage big enough for the Kyuubi to go to another 'body'(1). This means, of course…"
"What?"
"We must keep a very close eye on Naruto. We have no idea when he'll create a clone, and the Kyuubi will inconspicuously disappear."
"I see."
"I need you to be the one to keep an eye on him."
"I'll watch over him as if he was my own son!"
"You do that anyway…" The 3rd mumbled to himself.
"No! All wrong! More slender! More beautiful!"
"How did you come up with this jutsu? Do you have gender issues?" Konohamaru curiously asked.
"Shutup! Just because I've been going out with a guy for the past year doesn't mean I'm gender confused!" Said the blonde, with all the fury of a rabid beast with a high pitched voice.
"Oh! You're the one all of Sasuke's fan girls have been talking about, aren't you? They want to kill you so bad…" Konohamaru slyly answered back.
"Really? They hate me that much?"
"Yup."
"Damn. Man, my life su-" Naruto was suddenly interrupted by…
"HELP ME DOBE! GET THESE GIRLS TO STOP CHASING ME!" A certain voice rang out, heading to the direction of the clearing.
Naruto sighed. Even after Sasuke announced to his fan girls that he was gay, they still followed him around, like envious puppies. Some even threw lube at him and tried to teach him what a real BJ felt like!
"Fine, but you owe me!"
"DAMNIT! FINE! I'LL TAKE YOU OUT ON A DATE!" Came the somewhat distraught voice of the raven haired sex god, who was currently in a tree hurling sharp objects at his legions of fan girls, who expertly caught them. Hey, after years of dodging and catching kunai, disarming the traps around his house, and killing the many, many vicious animals that lived on his property, these kunoichi had developed some mad skills.
"RAMEN?" shouted the blonde one from over the din of the fan community.
"DAMNIT! FINE! JUST DO SOMETHING! THEY'RE STARTING TO CLIMB THE TREE!"
"Yay!" Naruto did the hand sign for the Bunshin jutsu and…
"THERE YOU ARE! What are you doing hanging out with that weakling Naruto?" Ebisu piped in, coming from nowhere in particular. The sky, maybe? (Jounin are crafty buggers. I wouldn't put it past them.)
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" Rang out the dobe's voice. Hundreds of clones invaded the area, stunning the fan girls. Once they figured out who he was, though, their stunned expressions turned to anger. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, BITCHES!"
He was answered by a hail of shuriken, kunai, exploding notes, um…oh, yeah, a dead kitten! The sky turned black, and Konahamaru turned to one of the Narutos and said, "Hey, at least you're fighting in the shade!" (2)before running off with Ebisu to somewhere safe, where no girl could ever go…
A men's bathroom, of course!
Wait, back to Naruto…
Naruto deftly dodged the clumsily hurled projectiles, without much success(3). Many clones had to be sacrificed and thrown in front of him in order for him to make his escape, and to send his other clones in all directions. Sasuke easily spotted the original Naruto (Naruto was smart enough to make them all different from him, so that Sasuke could go his direction. Hey, he has a stroke of genius every now and again!) and followed quickly from the tree tops, going unnoticed by the hordes of angry teenage girls that were busy killing hundreds of clones every minute or so.
Before the fan girls managed to kill most, if not all of the clones, Naruto and Sasuke had retreated to the recesses of the Uchiha mansion, a dusty, yet somehow well kept and fashionable, place.
"I'm never, ever, ever touching the front door again. I'll use a window from now on."
Now, read these notes, or you won't understand the first section…
(1) I'm going on the basis that when you create a Bunshin clone, that your chakra is split between you and it, and since the Kyuubi has a different chakra, he can 'leak' himself into it, therefore putting his life essence (chakra) into the new host. But, the seal makes him leave a small amount of chakra, an opening to his main chakra source, so that Naruto can still become the Kyuubi Naruto we all know and love. This works both ways, of course. Meaning the Kyuubi can steal Naruto's chakra for any given purpose, like trying not to look conspicuous! I bet your wondering why the Kyuubi would go through all that trouble to not hurt the stupid child…(no offence, I'm a Naruto fan too, but ya gotta face the facts of life…)
(2)An excerpt about a French war against the Britons, where the British arrows were so many, that they blocked out the sun. Somebody actually said what Konohamaru said.
(3)In other words, Naruto clumsily dodged a multitude of sharp, pointy objects. He's most likely hurt in some way, maybe. I'll decide later.
Naruto: HEY! YOUR MEAN!
Sasuke: No, he's not mean…fan girls are…
Naruto: Don't you mean crazy?
Sasuke: Hey, if the shoe fits…
REVIEW, AND BELIEVE!
Sasuke: See what I mean?
Author: I promise to make more story faster. Me likey thank people who reviewed me on my first chappie. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION! -does the Armstrong pose, for those of you who have seen Fullmetal Alchemist-
Oh yea, and why Sasuke is so OOC…he was still sleepy, and now he's all distraught and his hair is messed up. That's bad karma, man.
