Inter-LOAFERS: Dance-Dance-Feva!
By Xenomorph666
Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.
DigitalMan and K2 are © My close friend.
Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.
Universe: Spliced-verse (Misfit-Verse, Evil Dead, Mask, TMNT, Planeteers, Beast Wars)
Punk Frogs and a Lizard Lady
The very next day after the first "leaked" Heartless appeared the turtles received a surprising request to attend Xavier's welcome of his new students and not surprisingly Gecko volunteered to go immediately. The others, of course were pleased with the surprise as they had expected Xavier to "ease" the new mutates into the knowledge of their existence. Then Splinter made them dress for the occasion.
"I hate ties!" Raphael shouted as he struggled with his tie.
"Here use one of mine!" Mikey smiled as he gave his brother a clip on bow tie.
"No thanks, if I'm gonna look like an ass it's gonna be because I can't tie this damn thing!" Raph pulled down hard on the two ends and started to choke.
"Jeez, you give some turtles clothes to wear and they nearly kill themselves…" Gecko sighed as he undid Raph's tie and looped it into position. "There now don't mess with it. "
"Why do we have to wear these?" Mikey asked, "I mean we're just meeting new mutants."
"Technically it's also an orientation." Gecko explained. "And apparently Xavier takes orientations very seriously."
"Wow." Donatello said as he came in, he was wearing a tie and a coat. "You guys are going in your best aren't you?"
"Splinter said to be our best, so…" Raph snapped then noticed his brother's fit of laughter. "What?"
"He only meant the ties and coats!" Donatello hit the floor. "You guys look like turtles in penguin suits."
"Wanna borrow my board?" Gecko asked Raph as he leered at Donatello.
"Nah, Donny's head would break it." Raph shot back at his brother as he tore off the tuxedo pants and shirt. "I don't get how you can wear this stuff?" He said as he straightened his coat. "I mean it's so itchy…"
"Hey, I'm not the one who grew up playing naked ninja in the sewer." Gecko smiled, "I had to wear clothes."
"Hah." Mikey chuckled. "Naked ninja, that's a great one."
"Shuddup Mikey." Raph snapped as the brothers and Gecko left for Xavier's.
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"I hate ties…" Raph groaned as he and his brothers sat in the dining hall. "And when are these losers going to get here?"
"I don't know bro, but get this Xavier's got his own brand of teleporters now." Mikey said with a smile as he came in. "Seems one of Wraith's little buddies got a hold of some Mass Device technology and cloned it into their standard communicators."
"Oh Hawk must be lovin' that." Raph snickered.
"Ah, they got it all worked out, and the X-Men gotta pretty good deal out of it too." Mikey shrugged.
"What good can possibly come from something the Misfits use to plague this place everyday?" Raph asked.
"Now they got a return to sender button!" Mikey laughed. "It's hilarious; Pietro just spent fifteen minutes getting bounced back and fourth between here and the Pit!"
"Ok, now that I'd pay to see." Raph smiled then a message came through into his mind.
"Attention everyone the new students are arriving, please meet me in the lobby." Xavier's telepathic request echoed through the house.
"Come on Mikey, let's get this over with." Raph said as he led his less mature brother into the lobby where Donatello, Leonardo and Splinter where waiting with most of the main X-Men team and a few Misfits. Rhinox was there as well with a very unhappy looking Rattrap.
"Have you either of you two seen Gecko?" Leonardo asked.
"Nope, last I seen him he was talking with the girl." Raph yawned. "She's got him wrapped around her little finger already, and he likes it."
"You know Raphael; I wouldn't talk like it can't happen to you." Rhinox said with a knowing smirk.
"Well I'll prove it then when I get my own girl I won't end up whipped like any of these guys." Raph gestured towards Gambit, Scott and Todd.
"Remy think you gonna be eaten dem words sooner den you tink." Gambit joined in with hiw own sly smile.
"I am not whipped!" Scott stood up angrily.
"Scott; sit down." Jean snapped.
"Yes dear." Scott said as he sat down.
"Whapisssh!" Todd made a whipping motion, and Althea smacked him in the head.
"Behave!" Althea growled.
"Sorry Al." Todd lowered his head.
"What nothing smart to say Swamp Rat?" Rogue arched her eyebrow.
"Remy know he whipped and Remy like it just fine." Remy smiled.
"Smart man." Althea smiled up at Rogue.
"Oh, how romantic." Jean sighed and then hit Scott. "Why can't you be like that?"
"What… but… how?" Scott whined as he tried to figure out how he caught the tail end of a blame storm.
"I believe this is where I can go: 'Whipiissh!'" Raph laughed as the door opened with his back to it. "I mean honestly, you guys get a pretty face, a nice pair of les or a girl who can kick your ass and you guys melt like putty." As he spoke a slender woman walked into the lobby, she appeared her skin was smooth yet lizard like and she still had a deep brown tone to her hair and her blue eyes betrayed a deep sense of insecurity, but they were hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses, a torn jean jacket and cutoff shorts.
"So this is the place?" She asked. "Nice." Raphael spun on his heel and for the first time in his left was left speechless. "You're jaw's hitting the ground shellboy."
"Ammine-he... Hi…" Raph said in what perhaps most there considered to be the single geekiest voice ever.
"And now Raphael is twitterpated." Remy smiled from atop the stairs.
Raphael simply kept staring at the young woman, even as four literal frog men came in through the door each one carrying a large suitcase.
"Jeez, Lis, what you got in this thing?" A Creole accent asked, it belonged to a frog man ina blue Hawaiian shirt and blue shorts. He also had a few gold chains around his neck, goatee and a general air of 'hippiness' around him.
Immediately Remy spouted something in Creole and the frog looked up and gave his response, then the two nodded at each other with a smile.
"Nice ta know dhere's a friendly face in dhese crazy walls." The frog said with a sweeping bow. "Pardon my rudeness I am Napoleon Bonnafrog. I came up with dhe name meself."
"Nice name." Mikey smiled. "I'm Mikey, these are my brothers; Leonardo, Donatello and the guy still gawking at the girl is Raphael."
"Name's Lisa, call me Mona or Lis, everyone else does." Lisa shrugged.
"Mona?" Scott arched an eyebrow curiously.
"I looked like the painting before all this happened to me." Lisa gestured to her body.
"I see." Scott said, a look of relief openly crossed his face.
"What you thought I was a slut?" Lisa asked.
That comment brought Raphael back to the real world. "Who thinks you're a slut?"
"Whoa, hey, careful there Arthur, you might fall off your horse." Lisa smiled. "I was making a joke ok; apparently you just are a pretty face though so I don't blame you for being so slow."
Raph immediately stomped out of the room in a strange fit of anger.
"One angry guy there." Another frog in a yellow windbreaker and orange shorts shrugged. "Oh, yeah Name's Attila, the guys here like to make a joke out off it, but I am supposedly descended from the famous Hun."
"Yup, ATTILLA THE KILLER FROG-HUN!" Another frog in a green shorts and a muscle car printed Hawaiian shirt made a mock war cry. "Heh, I suck at it I know. Name's Genghis and no there's no relation and I did not give myself that name, my parents were just that stoned when they named me."
"And apparently when they conceived you as well." Lisa gave a sarcastic smile.
"Anyway…" Genghis ignored Lisa. "Me and Att grew up together so no worries there."
"Sensei, I'm going to find Raphael before he breaks something or someone." Leonardo sighed as he looked down the hall Raphael had stamped down a few moments ago.
"I smell a teacher's pet." The last frog grunted, he wore long black pants a black shirt and a trench coat.
"Ignore Rasputin." Genghis sighed, "We all do."
"Rasputin?" Peter immediately paid attention.
"Yeah, you got a problem with it?" Rasputin glared at Peter.
"No, but it is also my last name. Is your family from Russia?" Peter asked.
"No, they just thought it'd be a really neat last name to have." Rasputin snapped.
"It was just a question." Peter said with his own angry glare.
"Riiiiight." Rasputin said. "And this is me walking away from the nut house."
"Mr. Rasputin, I believe you remember the agreement?" Xavier sighed. "I will have to call the police if you do leave these grounds permanently."
"Hey, he's like me!" Tim peeked around a corner. "I know the feeling dude; juvey or here right?"
"Bite me." Rasputin snapped as he brushed past the other frogs and headed into the mansion.
"Another one?" Scott screeched. "Shouldn't the Misfits be getting the delinquents?"
"Hey now dhat's not fair." Napoleon said as he wagged his finger. "Rasputin may be an ass, but he no delinquent. He jus' broke dhe polices tables is all."
"Oh yeah that's not delinquency, how foolish of me." Scott feigned. "Oh then that must mean all the actions that Alvers has taken were not delinquency either, oh how foolish I have been."
"I don't know who dhis Alvers is, but if he like Raputin, I'm gonna like'em." Napoleon smiled.
"Dude…" Todd smiled as he hopped next to Attila. "They call me Toad, I'm a Misfit."
"Nice to meet ya Toad." Attila shook Todd's hand. "Me, I prefer the term Connoisseur of Chaos."
"I prefer just plain troublemaker!" Genghis smiled.
"I prefer Thief." Napoleon smiled.
"I'm guessing you know Remy then?" Scott sighed.
"Know of 'im. I came after de fact." Napoleon smiled. "But he kinda a legend in dhe guild."
"I hate my life, I hate my life…" Scott moaned as he put his head between his knees.
"Really, I like your life." Todd smiled.
"I hate Toad… I hate Toad…" Scott growled as he made his way upstairs.
"So who wants pizza?" Mikey asked with a huge smile. "I got some coupons and preferred customer card!"
"Pizza, alright." Genghis and Attila said together and gave each other high fives.
"I prefer a good veggie salad." Napoleon smiled. "Or perhaps a nice fruit pie."
"Oh, I can make a salad for you!" Kitty smiled.
"NO!" Althea, Jean, Rogue and Mikey all jumped to hold Kitty back, but she just phased through them.
"What dhe heck?" Napoleon blinked.
"Trust me; don't eat anything Kitty makes herself." Jean sighed. "Especially the baked goods."
"And the soups." Todd shuddered.
"And the pies." Rogue looked sick to her stomach.
"And the only thing the Salads are good for is tempering steel." Donatello added.
"That's not true; the leaves make good shruikens too." Mikey added.
"Let us not forget the dangers of her bread my sons." Splinter added with a smile.
"Yeah, the bread is lethal." Mikey winced as he remembered his first run in with Kitty's cooking. "Trust me on this, I have first hand experience."
"You forgot to mention the cupcakes and muffins." Rhinox said.
"Baked goods Rhinox." Jean said.
"Baked goods my chrome plated rear, those things are a form of evil unto themselves." Rattrap defended the position.
"What about the Hot Chocolate that melts everything." Todd said.
"Or the 'SMores that cause third degree burns to your teeth, from the gram crackers alone!" Althea shouted.
By the time the groups had finished with the list of veritable homemade Kitty-cooking-disasters the three frogs and Lisa were so wide eyed with terror that they were almost afraid to ask what would happen if she offered to pour them a glass of milk.
"OH GOD!" A scream came from the kitchen and the groups rushed towards it at high speed. When they arrived Rasputin was clutching his jaw in pain. "What's in this soup?"
"Oh dear." Xavier sighed. "Jean, Peter could you?"
"Of course Professor." Jean said as she helped carry the now barely conscious frog to the infirmary.
"Holy…" Genghis gulped in fear. "I think I was better off in the sewers."
"You and me both buddy." Attila blinked.
"I tink I'm gonna be sick…" Genghis choked back his own vomit.
"I think I'm going to need Arthur and his stupid horse after all." Lisa said as she slunk away ad turned a corner right in time to run into Kitty and a bowl of pudding.
"Oh hey want some?" Kitty asked as she held the bowl high.
"AH!" Lisa screamed. "Keep the killer food away from me!" She screamed.
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As Lisa ran off down another hall she eventually came upon two teenagers staring at each other. She was glad to note that at least one of them was male and like her was a lizard.
"Hi." The girl said. "Care to join us?" The guy coughed on the air as he gave the girl a look.
"In a staring contest?" Lisa asked.
"No, mental make out." The girl shot Lisa a glare.
"Ok… so you're a mind reader I take it." Lisa said, aware she was probably on thin ice.
"Yes, my name's Betsy and this is my boy-toy Gecko." Betsy smiled and then added mentally; "If you try anything with him I'll make you live up to that stupid comment you made to Scott earlier…"
"Ok, well, I gotta go there's a crazy girl with killer food after me." Lisa smiled.
"Oh, Kitty." Betsy laughed. "Try finding Logan, Rina or Raphael. They can get her and the food gone pretty quickly."
"Hey, where is Arthur and his horse anyway?" Lisa asked.
"Eh?" Gecko raised an eyebrow. "Did you just call Raph a knight in shining armor?"
"Ah, what works, works." Lisa shrugged.
"Well in that case he's probably in the Danger Room in the basement…" Gecko never got to finish as Lisa ran off. "In the single most deadly simulation ever made..." Gecko sighed. "We better tell Beast someone else will be visiting him soon."
"Done and done." Betsy smiled. "Now where were we?"
"Getting busted." Jean glared at the younger psychic as she came by. "Don't let the Professor or Scott find you next time, or it wont' be a warning." She gave the young couple a knowing smile. "Now, Lisa went where?"
"Danger Room." Gecko and Betsy smiled as they said it.
"Lovely…" Jean sighed. "Not even an hour and two of the new students are going to be in the infirmary."
"Three…" Scott said as he rushed by with Todd helping him hold up Attila. "Kitty made some lemonade."
"Oh God…" Jean sighed. "Well two out of five isn't that bad."
"Jean, it's three out of five and that's failing..." Betsy said.
"I meant for Kitty's cooking." Jean sighed again.
"Oh...well yeah, I can see that." Betsy smiled. "Still we could just tell her not to cook."
"Go ahead and try." Jean moaned. "Even Hank has given up hope there."
"Then maybe you should put the message from Dante's inferno over every arch of the kitchen." Gecko said. "At least then it's a warning of some sort."
"'Abandon all hope; ye who enter here.' Yeah that sounds like it should go over the front door." Jean smiled as she walked off. "Have fun you two."
