Thanks to Spiffythefaery for the beta work.


Friday

9:30 pm

It was supposed to be a nice quiet evening. The kind of evening where you can just fall back into a chair and curl up with a good book. One that is rare for anyone, but even rarer for someone with as hectic a life as Magneto.

It was supposed to be a nice quiet evening. Things never go the way they're supposed to.

Magneto was sitting in his favorite chair, reading the newspaper. The house was quiet. The boys had gone somewhere – Magneto didn't know where, nor did he care. There was a soft click as the television sparked to life.

Lowering his newspaper, Magneto saw his daughter, dressed in a sweatshirt a size to large and sweatpants, sitting on the couch with the remote in her hands.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here," Wanda replied without so much as a glance towards her father.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. It's Friday night, shouldn't you be out? Shouldn't you have a date?"

"Not since word got around of what you do to my dates."

Magneto raised the paper to hide his grin. "Alright. I suppose you and I shall have a nice evening at home then."

"I've got friends coming over."

The paper lowered. "What?"

"I'm having a sleepover."

"A sleepover? With whom?"

"A couple of friends. They'll be here soon enough."

"Didn't you think to tell me of this prior to tonight?"

"I thought about it, but I knew you'd blow a gasket so I decided against it."

"Wanda! You can't just invite people over without telling me."

"I just told you."

"I can't put my foot down now!"

"That's why I just told you."

The paper snapped up. "Fine. Have your stupid sleepover. But mark my words, it will end poorly. The last one you went to did."

"That's because you blew up the house."

"For the last time, it was the one armed man!"


"You can't be serious. I thought you didn't do peppy group events."

Rogue shrugged. "Normally Ah don't. But how could I pass this up?"

"Just what are you implying?"

"Something is going to go wrong and Ah want to see it happen."

"The glass is half empty, huh?"

"When it involves you, the glass is already broken."


"Are you serious?"

"You aren't allowed in until you sign," Magneto replied, thrusting a stack of papers at Kitty.

"Why do I have to sign a contract to come into your house?"

"Safety precaution."

"Safety precaution? Is there something wrong with your house?"

"My house is in perfect order."

"Did anyone else have to sign?"

"No."

Kitty's eyebrow rose. "Then why do I have to sign a contract?"

"I've seen what your muffins do to walls and I will have no such 'accidents' occurring in my home."

"You aren't going to let me cook? But I brought supplies!"

"I'm not letting you anywhere near the kitchen."

Kitty glared. "Fine. I'll sign your stupid contract."

"And initial here and here."


Magneto looked up at the congregation of girls standing before him. "You can't possibly be serious."

"Please Mr. Magneto!" the girls chimed in chorus.

"Not in this life time."

"It'll be fun. We promise."

"Under no circumstances will I participate in a makeover."

"Pretty please Dad! We won't bother you for the rest of the night if you agree."

"And end up with pink hair? I think not."

"Come on."

"Look, if you have to torture someone, torture Pyro."

"That's a good idea, where is he?"

"Probably sulking around the backyard, trying to figure out where I hid his lighter."

"That's the third one this week."

"Just go away."


Magneto walked into the living room, doing his best to ignore Pyro's cries for help. As he entered he saw Sabretooth lying on the floor, trying to peek out the window.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh! We're being watched."

"What?"

"Yeah, someone's spying on us," Sabretooth hissed.

"Spying on us?"

"Yeah."

"Who would spy on us?"

"No idea."

"Why would someone spy on us?"

"Dunno. I think they may want my teddy bear collection."

"Teddy bear collection?"

"Yeah. I can't let anything happen to my fuzzy wuzzy bears."

"I think it would be in our best interest if I pretended that I didn't hear that."

"What am I going to do about the spies?"

"We laid out a security system last week for heaven's sake! Activate the thousand volt electric wire on the ground, target them with the cannons, and detonate the stink bombs."


Magneto grinned as he looked at the group of dirty boys standing just outside his front door.

"What did you learn?"

"Not to spy on girls having a slumber party?" Scott offered as he attempted to wipe the dirt off of his clothes.

"That the new security system works?" Lance supplied.

"That you are one mean bastard?" Bobby said.

"Nothing at all!" Pietro declared.

"Are you going to spy on the girls anymore?"

"Of course we are. We'll just have to do it beyond the range of your defenses," Bobby answered.

"I don't think you'll be doing that."

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

"If all of you aren't at the Institute in five minutes, I'm telling the girls you were spying on them."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would."


"Um, Mr. Magneto, we kinda have a problem," Kitty said.

"That should be painfully obvious."

"I mean, we did something wrong."

"What did you do?"

"Well, we were just having fun and throwing stuff at each other..."

"What stuff?"

"That's not important. But, I think we may have killed Sabretooth."

"You killed him? How?"

"He got hit by something."

"By what? A navy cruiser?"

"No."

"What did he get hit with?"

"Nothing," Kitty muttered.

"Tell me now, Pryde!"

Kitty muttered inaudibly. Magneto however, heard.

"A muffin! I deliberately told you not to cook! Those things are weapons of mass destruction!"


Magneto looked up at the fire that was consuming his home.

"Didn't I tell you that your sleepover would end badly?"

"I didn't set the house on fire. Pyro did."

"After you nincompoops insisted on torturing him."

"Kitty was the one who had to clean his pores."

"You all should know better than to aggravate Pyro."

"It, like, was totally not my fault! Rogue wouldn't hold him down."

"You think Ah wanted to get burned?"

"All you had to do was zap him."

"Ah don't want that nut running around in my head."

"If you could cease your bickering for a moment, I would appreciate you doing something to prevent my house from being completely destroyed."

"Why don't you just get Pyro to stop it?"

"I had to render him unconscious to get him out of the house."

"So why don't you do something about it Father?"

"Oh yes. I'll simply try to smother the flames with metal. Honestly, what kind of question is that?"

"I guess we could call Storm."

"It took you this long to think of that?"


Wanda looked around at the charred remains of her home. "Well, it could have been worse."

Magneto raised an eyebrow. "I'm curious to hear how it could have been."

"We could have not gotten out in time."

"I wouldn't be rid of anything I'd lament losing."

"Dad!"

"Enough Wanda. This entire situation was caused because of you and your lack of control!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"You have no control! Over yourself, over your powers, over your life. You need to get it together or else these mishaps will continue to happen!"

"I had nothing to do with this."

"You had everything to do with this. It was your stupid slumber party that caused this to happen. Do you know what is going to happen now? We'll have to move in with Xavier!"

"What do you care? You're just going to move back to your super secret hideout, like you always do when life gets difficult!"

"I'm not moving anywhere. I'll be where I'm supposed to be - watching over you."

"I never asked you to."

"It's my responsibility. Wanda, I'm your father, whether you like it or not. There will be times when you will hate me and everything I stand for. But I'm always thinking about what is best for you."

"Like driving away any guy that tries to go out with me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh shove it, Dad. You think I'm stupid? You think I didn't realize what you'd been doing?"

"I hoped."

"Well, I noticed. You won't let me live my life."

"Wanda, I'm just trying to protect you."

"From what? Life? You can't protect me from that."

"I know that Wanda. I don't want to see you get hurt," Magneto said as he embraced his daughter.

"I'm not going to get hurt. I can take care of myself. Please, just try to act like a normal parent and not try to kill anyone else who asks me out."

"I can't make that promise."

"Please?"

"I'm sorry Wanda. I'll try to be good but I make no promises. Now go help Pyro grab our things."


"They burned down your house?"

"Yes."

"And you want to stay here?"

"Yes."

"You won't do anything evil while under my roof?"

"Don't ask for the impossible."

"Fair enough. Welcome aboard."

"Thank you, Charles. Would you make sure that the children get settled?"

"Where are you going?"

"I have much pent up frustration and anger. I need to cause some chaos and disorder."

"Wait a minute… are you saying that causing destruction is therapeutic?"

"Of course. Why else would I indulge in massive chaotic schemes?"

"I thought you were always drunk."

"Very funny. Now if you'll excuse me."


Saturday

11:00 am

Xavier was stifling a yawn as Magneto entered the living room.

"Where did you go last night?" Xavier asked.

"I was causing mass chaos in the streets of Bayville."

"Mass chaos? I didn't hear anything explode."

"Charles, explosions are correlated with chaos but not necessary to cause it."

"So what exactly did you do last night?"

"My lips are sealed."

Seeing that Magneto would not discuss the matter any more, Xavier tried to change the subject.

"Are your wards adapting to the Institute?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen any of them this morning. I imagine they'll be fine. Have you seen Sabretooth?"

"Hank went to check on him a few minutes ago. He's still down in the infirmary."

"That muffin did quite a job on him."

Xavier didn't reply. The bald mutant reached over and grabbed a remote control. In the next instant the television sprung to life.

"Life has ground to a halt in Bayville this morning. Apparently there was a series of robberies last night. The only items reported missing from the over one thousand vandalized homes was left shoes. These thefts have driven people indoors and has driven down the expected sales of this holiday weekend to an all time low," the television squawked.

Xavier turned to face Magneto. "You stole everyone's left shoe?" 1

"You have no proof."

"This might be the most diabolical scheme you've ever had."

"I also reversed all the street signs." 2

"Not only can no one go anywhere, but they won't know where they are. Genius, old friend, pure genius."

"Thank you Charles. It means so much, coming from you. Now if you'll excuse me…" Magneto trailed off as his eyes turned to the stairwell. Wanda was walking down the stairs, oblivious to her father's presence. However, she was not alone. John was beside her, their fingers intertwined.

Magneto was stunned into complete silence as the two entered the dinning room. Xavier wheeled over to his old friend.

"Erik, don't do anything hasty."

Magneto didn't respond. He clenched his hands into fists and ground his teeth audibly.

"Traitors! This means war!"


1 – Lilo and Stitch

2 – Lilo and Stitch