Let's start the show! It's Episode 1, and it's back at camp! Except this is actually Toni's first time on Wawanakwa, and the toxic waste is still there. Thanks for reviewing, IllusionSign, Total Drama Izzy, OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla, lordgemini and AnonBrowser.

I wasn't sure what to expect on Camp Wawanakwa. The producers warned me that there had been some toxic waste all over the island and there were creatures with mutations. "But they're mostly harmless," they assured me. "We do have a mutant shark, but he has human-level intelligence and he'll understand if you talk to him."

So I knew about Fang, the shark with hands and feet, and I even got to introduce myself to him. He seemed to understand that in general, eating the contestants was off-limits, but I promised to make sure he had chum if he was hungry.

Finally, the day came, and it was time to bring the contestants in. I stood on the dock as I started to speak. "We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. Now, we're starting back where it all began, at Camp Wawanakwa!" I smiled at the camera. "I'm Toni McLean. You might remember me as a contestant on Total Drama Action, junior host on Total Drama World Tour, and, most of all, the cousin of your other favourite host, Chris McLean. But Chrissy has a major movie deal this summer, so I'm taking over for him. Old location, old rules, but more danger, and a few new twists. It's gonna be tough. In fact, it'll be crazy. But before we can get to the fun stuff, let's meet our contestants!"

First, there were all the old contestants. We'd asked them all to take a boat to the island, but they'd actually be taken back to the mainland, and then they'd have it explained that they weren't competing.

After a flash of them passing, and hearing the sound of Owen screaming "NOOOOO!", I had to laugh.

"Not them." I explained. "We've got a smaller cast this season, of thirteen all-new players. And here they come!"

A slightly smaller boat held all the new contestants. In the boat, there was a speaker, where they'd hear their names and know to say an establishing line for themselves. And I'd hear it too from my own speaker, so I was ready to start.

"Starting with Jo!" I began.

Jo's voice came through clearly. "Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis!" she warned someone. I already liked her take-no-crap attitude, but who knew if I'd like it all season?

"Scott." I continued.

"Right back at ya," was Scott's reply. I didn't blame Jo. If I was a contestant, I'd want Scott to stay out of my way, too. Oh well, maybe he'd surprise me.

"Mike, and Zoey!" I went on.

"Can you believe we're here?" Zoey's voice said excitedly.

"Yeah, it's beautiful…" Mike replied dreamily. Ah, cute.

"Lightning!" I went on.

"Hello, gorgeous!" said the obnoxious voice. I somehow just knew he was talking to himself.

"Brick…"

"Brick McArthur, reporting for duty!" Brick's voice said in a very soldier-esque tone. Yep, he'd chosen a perfect establishing line. He was already shaping his label just from that.

"B-" who I paused for, but he said nothing, "And Dawn."

Dawn spoke, though. "Your aura is exceptionally purplish-green. Oh, it suits you, though!" Yes, her voice was just as ethereal and fairy-like as it was in her audition tape. And now she was able to see auras, too? Maybe she really was a fairy in disguise.

"Dakota!" I went on.

"Hey there!" I heard a girly giggle through the speaker. "Dakota here, and I'm here-"

I wasn't going to wait for her to make a speech. "Anne Maria!" I interrupted her.

"Three more coats oughta do it." Anne Maria's voice came through, along with the sound of a spray can being used.

Suddenly, Dakota's voice came back up. "Whoa, who said you could pan away?"

"Don't push me, blondie!" Anne Maria's voice yelled, and the spraying sound continued. Sounded like a catfight. Time for me to move on, and quickly, before it got really serious.

"Staci!"

"My great-aunt Millie invented sun tans," the annoying voice boasted. "Yah, before her, people smeared themselves with clay." Then I heard coughing, accompanied by the spraying sound. Did Anne Maria react by spraying anyone who got on her nerves? And what was she spraying them with, anyway? I guessed the fake tan that made her orange, or maybe whatever sculpted that mass of curls above.

"Cameron!" I continued.

"Fresh air!" Cameron's voice exclaimed in awe. "A real lake! Birds!" Then there was a scream and a subdued bump. I actually could see what had happened, the boat was so close by now. Cameron had been on the top deck, and a low-flying bird had knocked him down to a lower level. He didn't seem to have any serious injuries, though.

"And Sam!" I finished.

I could hear the slight sounds of a game, and Sam's voice. "Oh yeah, grenade launcher upgrade! Now we're cooking!"

"So as you can see," I said, "We've got a new cast of campers, and they're going to have a really tough time this season. And I've got a little secret – none of them know that I'm the one hosting, not Chrissy." I smiled and held up a button in one hand. "However, I have to be a little bit cruel. So I just need to warn them first." I took the speaker and said "You guys need to know that I'm about to sink your boat in three, two, one…" I pressed the button and the boat stopped and then broke apart quietly, some pieces sinking and others floating, but totally useless.

"It's going to be the most broken up season, ever!" I finished my speech. "On Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!"

Then I jogged into the forest, where I'd meet the contestants when they'd all gotten to shore. The cameramen had already set up a live feed so I'd know when everyone got to shore or if I needed to send an intern out to help them (there were three, and I was determined not to kill them off the way Chris did). The first episode was well under way.

I know, just reintroducing everyone. But hey, Toni had to start the season somehow! And yeah, she'll be cool to the interns, too. I don't know how Episode 11 will fare with that since it depends on the interns refusing to help Chris. We'll see.