Okay, now we're reaching Episode 2. Thanks for reviewing, OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla, lordgemini, AnonBrowser and IllusionSign.
I kept my word about going running and was up early enough to join Jo. Although we didn't actually talk, I got the feeling she was starting to respect me, since I kept up easily. However, I didn't even notice until it was too late when she ran straight into Brick. I completely stopped as soon as I could and listened to them.
"Just did my morning 5k run." Jo boasted. "You?"
"8k." Brick said with a confident grin.
"I mean, I did an 8k warm up, then 5k at a full sprint." Jo said quickly. I knew she was making that part up. Honestly.
"I'm not ashamed to admit my warm up wasn't that long." I cut in. "But I did the sprint. I'm not competitive. I'm doing it just to stay fit, and this isn't part of the show, by the way. You're not going to win anything for running further. "
They didn't even seem to hear my remark, still trying to outdo each other. "My entire run was uphill." Brick competed.
"Yeah, uphill with my eyes shut!" Jo countered.
"I ran backwards with earplugs."
"Why earplugs?"
"I don't know!" Brick blinked, realizing that was kind of a stupid thing to have said. I struggled to keep a straight face.
There was a pause. Then Jo smiled at Brick and said "Team Maggot is lucky to have us. We didn't screw up the other day. From this moment, we'll carry them all the way to victory!"
I took a step between them again and said "Okay, ultra-athletes, mess hall time, okay? You can't start a winning streak on an empty stomach."
I walked with them, and Jo finally said something to me. As soon as Brick passed us, she said "You know, I didn't expect you to be able to keep up. You're okay at running."
"I should be." I pointed out. "I'm good at sports and stuff like that at school. I like doing active things – it's what I'm best at. Didn't you see me on the obstacle course in the second season?"
Jo shrugged. "No. I saw you making out with the punk delinquent, though. Figured you were that kind of girl. I mean, you seemed to be having fun, right? Usually the girls like that are more worried about breaking a nail."
"Or getting a tangle." I quipped. "That was the episode before I aced the obstacle course. But it was a horror movie challenge, and I don't even like him that way – he's more like my brother Aidan, cool to hang with. We were only making out because of the script."
"I figured that out this morning."
"Anyway," I added, "There's no reason I can't be feminine and good at athletic stuff. Same as you can be butch and brainy, or anything else that doesn't always go together."
I gave the teams half an hour to eat before I blew the air horn and gathered them outside the cabins. "Time to start the challenge!" I said cheerfully.
I only got one response. "But I haven't had enough beauty sleep!" Dakota whined.
"Come on," Sam began as Dakota took off her sunglasses, "You look – GREAT SUNS OF ORION!" Okay, so Dakota's eyes looked very red.
"Well, maybe if you weren't on the mobile you're not even supposed to have," I said sternly, "You'd have had enough. As it is, I'm confiscating it. And Sam, you need to give in your game consoles, too. You can have them back when you get eliminated. You two should know the rules about bringing things like that to reality shows." I turned my smile back on. "Meet me at the Bay of Dismay – I'm taking a golf cart so everything's set up, but don't worry, I'll point you in the right direction. You can't miss it."
And they didn't. Ten minutes later, everyone was tucked into bleachers on the water, and I was standing on a platform in the middle. "Today's first challenge is the getting-to-know-you trivia challenge!" I announced. "Now, I will warn you. This will get embarrassing. The producers did a bit of digging and your family and friends gave us a little dirt on all of you. I will be asking each team a fact about one of you, and you get a point if the person owns up, by pushing the buzzer in front of them. But, if no one owns up within twenty seconds, you are punished with this!" At this point, I pushed a button that dunked both bleachers. They were only down for five seconds, but five were enough.
"There's some kind of two-legged shark monster down there!" Mike said, his eyes wide and terrified.
I nodded. "That's Fang, one of the mutants. I told him not to eat anyone, so he'll probably be all right. It's just a little extra motivation to stay out of the water. He doesn't like coming out too much. Anyway, one more rule. If I do have to dunk your team for no one owning up in time, the other team has the opportunity to guess the team's guilty coward. If they get it right, they win the point. If they don't…well, I'm not dunking you again unless I have to, but you know the drill. Now, let's get started."
I paused, looking down at my list and the reflection of the screen behind me. "Okay, Rats, you're first. Who did this on their first, and so far, only date?" The screen omitted a realistic flatulent sound.
Well, I thought Sam was very brave. He blushed red, but he pushed his buzzer, asking "Where did you get that?"
"I told you, producers checked you guys out." I told him. "Anyway, you've got a point. And don't feel bad, everyone does it sometimes. Just not on their first date. Anyway, Maggots, it's your turn." The screen now showed some damp shorts. "Who wet their pants on the first and last day of school?"
This took a bit longer, but then Jo noticed her teammate's more moist face and declared "He who sweats it, wets it! Team before pride, Maggot!"
Brick obediently pressed the buzzer. "Fine, it was me." Most of the other Maggots giggled as their points went up, but I heard Zoey whisper something to him that sounded kinder.
The game went on. I'd already known that B was short for Beverly, but I also learned that Cameron's last diaper change had been at age eleven, that Dawn had once humiliated herself in middle school when getting someone's star sign wrong after boasting she could figure out anyone's sign (no one laughed much at her for that, but she still went the colour of Dakota's pink leggings) and there was one time that Anne Maria had used the wrong kind of spray for her hair and ended up looking like she was wearing a dyed black Rasta hat for a whole week. Eventually, the Maggots won when they stole a point after Scott refused to admit he was the one who had never helped out on a group project at school or any other activities, except once. I dunked the team for that. Actually, Scott took a second to come up after the bleachers shot back up – I think Fang almost chomped on him and he had to climb back to the surface.
Anyway, Scott was back up, and climbed back onto the bleachers next to Dawn. "Thanks for leaving me down there, team," he snarled. "You can win this stupid challenge without me."
"Actually," I said brightly, "If the Maggots figured out who isn't cooperative on your team, they'll beat your score and win!"
After that display, the Maggots had a very short discussion before Jo announced "We choose Scott!"
"Game over!" I announced. "Mutant Maggots, you have won – and sorry, Rats, but you'll be put at a major disadvantage for the second part of today's challenge! But first, head back to the campground!" I smiled. "We'll pick up again after lunch."
I felt a bit bad for the teams. In particular, I'd noticed Mike tensing every time I looked at his team. I couldn't find anything particular written down about him, except that he'd hinted at something embarrassing happening when he had a friend over one day. I guessed that he was worried I knew what his psychiatric problem was and that would be his turn. But seriously, that wasn't like wearing a diaper late or having a bad hair week. I still hadn't seen any evidence of whatever it was.
The second challenge was what I'd dubbed the "Mad Skills" course, in honour of Harold, my old teammate. He'd been annoying, but he did have a few talents going for him, which he liked to call his "mad skills".
"It's more of a relay." I explained to the teams. "There's six obstacles, so you'll each take one." I pointed to each. "First off, the first teammate will have to avoid the Kicker, that giant boot there – and jump across those platforms. Teammate number two will have to duck cannons. Teammate three, you need to cross those rolling pins and avoid the wrecking ball swinging at you. Then there's the gangplank – a few more platforms, but a couple of mutants seem to love the taste of them. Then we have those big red balls like in that reality show in Argentina, but these ones move more. Finally, the last teammate needs to take that rope and swing into the giant baseball mitt for the Grand Slam. And, as for the Rats-" I smiled guiltily, picking up a little box of vision-impairing glasses. "You'll have to wear these for the whole relay. Now, you all pick an obstacle and get up there. Oh, and one more thing – I've got a mutant of your team mascot to pass, so don't forget that."
The Maggots, again, had an easier time with it being more placid than the rat. Anne Maria, who was taking on the kicker, didn't seem to mind holding the maggot, but I was a little more worried as I handed off the rat to Lightning. As it was, the Maggots took the early lead. Lightning got kicked, and Anne Maria jumped and pushed the Maggot into Brick's face. He actually had more problems against Dawn, hitting a pole multiple times because the slime impaired his vision, but at least he heard it when the rat made a squeaking voice that Dawn interpreted as "duck now" and he ducked at the same time, avoiding the cannonball that hit. As it was, Dawn had managed to take the lead and handed over to Scott before Brick handed over to Jo. However, Scott not only got hurt by the wrecking ball, but then wasted time stroking the rat, while ignoring B holding out his hand for it. Finally, he looked up, asking "Oh, do you want this? Why didn't you say so, Beverly?"
B looked furious, but he just tucked the rat in his pocket and went for it.
Jo did much better on the rolling pins than Scott. She did get hit by the wrecking ball, but I could see it was intentional, as she used it to propel herself straight to Zoey, who started following B as best she could. The mutants were still gnawing at the supports, and Zoey just managed to get onto the second one before she fell. As it was, B had already handed off to Sam, and the paws pulled Zoey down just as she handed the maggot to Mike.
But Zoey wasn't quite as weak as she looked. "Please let me go!' she begged as the beavers looked like they were preparing to eat her. Then she raised her voice. "I said, let me GO!" Her sandal shot out, kicking both of them where it hurt. "Sorry," she added, "But I did tell you to stop!"
At the same time (yeah, I watched both pieces of footage later), Mike, who'd seemed nervous up until he actually reached the obstacle, suddenly started speaking in a high-pitched voice with a Russian accent and calling himself "Svetlana, the Olympic queen of gymnastics." As it was, he and Sam were neck and neck, and Cameron and Dakota were waiting for them.
"Mike, how did you do that?" Cameron asked, staring at him.
"Uh, do what?" was Mike's reply, with a nervous laugh, back to his normal voice. He passed over the Maggot. "Here you go!"
Yeah, want to know who won? Dakota took the first swing, but fell in the mud. That gave Cameron enough time to stick the landing, and the Maggots had won.
"I can't believe this!" Lightning raged. "Lightning is on a team of losers!"
"Come on, winning isn't everything," Sam said mildly. Apparently this was the wrong thing to say. A second later, he was running from his murderous teammate.
Before elimination and after the others had showered, I cornered Mike. "Care to explain who Svetlana is?" I asked him straight out.
Mike blushed. I could see the red tint underneath his tan skin. "Um, a character," he mumbled. "She's a Russian gymnast. It helps me with my own skills if I get into character, you know."
I nodded. "Like method acting? I guess I understand. Was that old man thing from the first challenge another character of yours?"
"Yes!" Mike said quickly. Too quickly. I wasn't sure I bought it, but it sort of made sense to me. I wasn't into drama and all that stuff. If Mike wanted to be a method actor, who was I to tell him not to be?
"Well, if it helps, go ahead." I said, smiling in relief. "Only, you know, don't lose your own identity. I wouldn't want to lose the real Mike on this show."
Mike smiled back, although he still looked nervous. "I'll try."
That night, Dakota was eliminated. No surprises there, except for her own reaction. "No, this has to be a mistake!" she cried. "I didn't get my spin-off series yet! NO!"
I was happy to dump her into the catapult and send her flying (phone returned). She hadn't damaged my eardrums like Staci, but I was glad to be rid of her. At least I knew she'd land safely, and she didn't touch her marshmallow, so she still had long blonde hair.
I watched the confessionals before I went to sleep that night. Jo said her whole "we didn't screw up" to Brick was just her being nice so Brick would stay loyal to the team. She also said I wasn't quite as vain and girly as she'd thought. "Maybe it would be worth it to hang out with her," she said thoughtfully. "Even if I can't get any favours out of her, it would at least be good to have someone who can keep up with me." Well, at least she was upfront about it. And it sounded like while she had Alejandro's priorities with getting favours off me, she genuinely liked me. Or at least respected me. Apparently she didn't think I was a mosquito, so that was something.
Brick had a confessional where he sized up Jo as his biggest competition, and then had trouble remembering what his sergeant said about rivals. That was funny, but I didn't quite see Brick as the soldier he wanted to be.
Sam had a quick confessional, mourning his lack of skills in compliments – he'd been trying to apologize for his reaction to Dakota's eyes and complimented her…nostrils. Yes, no joke. Dakota, to her credit, had tried to think of a way to return the compliment. To her detriment, she came up with nothing and just said "Can I get back to you on that?"
Finally, the most important one was from Scott. He'd been out early, apparently looking for the immunity idol I'd hidden. And he said his plan was to make his team lose so the Maggots developed a false sense of confidence and security by the merge. I guess it hadn't occurred to him that he only had one use of the idol, and then it was gone. Anyway, I didn't think he'd been the cause of Dakota's loss. Although that did explain why he'd stalled before giving the rat to B.
One part of the footage I found was Mike and Zoey talking about action movies, and Mike had commented on Zoey's liking for them, joking "If you're into ultimate kickboxing, I may have to marry you." Well, I'd already known Mike and I had shared an enjoyment of action movies, but now it turned out Zoey liked them, too. And I liked most sports, watching as well as doing, and ultimate kickboxing was on the list. I'd have to have a good talk with both of them. Maybe Zoey would know of some obscure action movies I didn't know about. Well, I'd find out tomorrow, I thought sleepily.
And that's a wrap on challenge two! I liked the embarrassing trivia. Just so you know, I made up Anne Maria's embarrassing secret entirely, but Scott and Dawn's were taken from their bios. Scott felt his most embarrassing moment was that he actually cooperated with someone once, so I had his embarrassing secret be the reverse – that he never cooperated any other time. And if you're wondering why Lightning didn't complain about not having his "DPA", it's because Toni let the teams have breakfast.
