Right. Fashion show. Mutants. Lindsay. Thanks for reviewing, OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla, lordgemini and AnonBrowser (the way I put it, "She got good characterization and a decent amount of development, but I still feel like I don't know her").
I had breakfast in my trailer the next day before I went down to the dock, since Lindsay was meant to be arriving early and I wanted to meet her and introduce her to Dakota before they had to go and do separate duties. Plus, I could use a second opinion on something of my own.
Lindsay greeted me with a hug. "So where is everyone?" she asked.
"Still at breakfast, right now." I told her. "I'll introduce everyone else later, but we've got a contestant who got eliminated earlier working here as an intern, and she was interested in meeting you, so I promised I'd introduce you guys."
As I'd expected, Dakota and Lindsay did seem to get along well, although I kept noticing a look of bewildered annoyance crossing Dakota's face a couple of times. Well, I couldn't blame her. Lindsay was always one of the nicest people on the whole show, but she didn't have much brainpower, and it showed. Still, they seemed to get along okay, and by the time I left to check on the campers, they were happily chatting about earrings and swapping tips on where to get the best ones. Not something I could talk about – I did have pierced ears, but I just wore little silver sparkly studs (although Dakota made some comment on how I should get hot pink studs if I wanted to accept her suggestions. I wasn't sure what to think, but I had enough sense to know that she probably knew what would suit me, so sure, maybe I would look into that after the season).
Most people were almost finished with breakfast when I arrived. "Just letting you know that I'm expecting you at the amphitheatre in an hour," I told them. "You might be glad to know this time, the challenge is a bit more creative."
Well, I didn't lie. They had to work with very little, but they could do something creative with it if they got things right. Even I had to dress up a little, which is why I gave them an hour – so I could go back and ask Dakota to make me over. We didn't have much makeup – just what I'd brought, but she tried to make me up with the 'perky goth' look she insisted I should have as best she could, using the pink eyeshadow I'd never bothered with, putting wings on my eyeliner and carefully applying the lightest foundation I had (not very light, but enough to make me look a little paler. "You should really have more accessories," she said critically, "But it's the best I can do while we're here. Here." There was a compact in my trailer, and she held it out for me to see. "Like it?"
I had to admit, it was sort of a little bit of an improvement. Dakota knew what she was talking about with the whole "perky goth" look. The pink contrasted beautifully with the dark. The ponytail spoiled it a little, though.
"I'm not sure about…" I gestured to my hair.
Dakota grinned. "I think I know exactly what to do with that." She then pulled the ponytail out and turned them into pigtails, then curled them up into buns on both sides of my head, like mouse ears. They looked a lot better, and really suited the look. In fact, they suited me, even if I hadn't been wearing pale foundation and pink eyeshadow.
Without even thinking about it, I gave Dakota a hug. "You are officially the queen of makeovers! And even with that, you weren't being a snob about me not following the trends."
Dakota looked a bit surprised. "Actually," she said, "I'm ahead of the trends most of the time, but I'm not going to force anyone else to get there. So I was just going off how you already look and turning it into a true style, taking it all the way. You look like an individual, and that's probably more important. And," she added with a smile, "It really does suit you."
"I think I'll have to stick with the ponytail for most of the season, since it was already a hairstyle change," I said, "But if you show me off-camera how to do those buns, I'd quite like to try wearing them regularly once the season's over and I can do whatever I want. I always thought they looked a bit like Minnie Mouse ears, but if you have as much hair as I do, it actually really works."
Dakota giggled at my words, but her smile faded as I added "And I hate to tell you this, but the kitchen needs cleaning up and Chef'll be mad if you don't do it before he gets to it. You can get me a soda out of my trailer's minifridge after you've done that, but you don't have to. If you do, though, help yourself to one, and grab one for Lindsay."
Lindsay complimented my new look when she saw me, too. "You look kind of like Gwen," she remarked (wow, she actually remembered her name), "Only cuter and more pink."
"The goth look was Dakota's idea," I explained to her, "And I figured, time I tried it out, since this is a fashion challenge."
"That explains it," Lindsay said, grinning, "Because her style is the cutest! She's so pretty! Turns out we visit the same salons, too."
I didn't see much interest from the other contestants when I told them they'd have to dress a model. Jo thought it was a waste of time, and the remaining men on the Rats just looked totally bored, even when Lindsay happily showed off her new blue cowboy boots.
Zoey was the only one who commented "Wow! We get to dress an actual model!" Just like everything else in the last few days, her enthusiasm irked me.
I gave a nod. "First things first. You have a creature model. Pick something you find in the forest, catch it, dress it, and send it down the runway. Chef, Lindsay and I will judge your choices. You have half an hour. Okay, go!"
While I was waiting for them, Lindsay was watching me with a curious look. Finally, she spoke up. "I know I don't always get things right, but I'm pretty sure you're mad at that girl with the red hair."
I gave a sigh. "Not really. I like her. I mean, at least I think I do. It's just…did you see who she was sitting next to?"
Lindsay nodded. "That really, really thin guy with spiky hair. He was kind of cu – oh!" She started giggling. "I get it! You like him, don't you?"
I nodded unhappily. "And she likes him, too. They get on well, and she gets to spend more time with him than I do. I want to tell him and I've been flirting, but he hasn't said anything. I almost want him to get it over with, but I'm scared that if he does, he'll say that he likes her better." I almost said that I knew more about him than she did, but I stopped myself just in time. It was Mike's choice who knew about his alters, not mine, and I couldn't tell Lindsay, even if she never saw him after today.
Lindsay shrugged. "I think you should tell him. Then you'll know, and you'll be free to find someone else. Win-win, right?"
"I don't want to make it weird," I protested. "Who knows how long he'll be on the island? I can't walk him up to the Hurl of Shame and tell him 'By the way, I have the world's biggest crush on you', but if I tell him, he doesn't like me and he stays on the island, things will get super awkward."
"Well, that's just what I think," Lindsay said, shrugging again, "But you do what you want."
Ten minutes later, we were seated at the judge's table next to Chef. "Okay, Maggots," I called, "You're up first!"
The team had fittingly chosen an oversized maggot, about the size of a small dog. I recognized Zoey's style immediately, with the polkadot dress and the blonde bouffant. The maggot itself was pretty gross, but I had to be fair about their fashion…"I'm giving you guys a 9!" I declared.
Lindsay gave them an 8.1 (holding it upside-down at first), and Chef an 8.0 (or was it a 0.8? He turned it around as soon as Lindsay turned hers).
The Rats didn't have as much luck. Sam ran from the wings, screaming as an angry Sasquachanakwa followed him, dressed up in orange and green stripes.
"That thing is huge!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"They fit nicely," I admitted, "But apart from that, it's not exactly the right style for the dude, is it?"
Dakota arrived at that moment with the sodas. "Horizontal stripes?" she exclaimed, looking up. "Sam, I meant vertical stripes! Horizontals just make you look fat!" Huh, that was interesting. Apparently Sam had chosen that outfit for the team after asking Dakota's advice. No rules against it, and it was pretty resourceful. I couldn't imagine Scott or Lightning could claim fashion sense – not that they couldn't dress themselves, but I wouldn't trust either of them to dress a host like they do in most reality shows that don't make a former contestant the host.
As it was, the Sasquatch was not pleased at all, and eventually, he took off with my jet pack, to Boney Island, and took Lindsay with him.
"I guess we know what the next challenge will have to be." I told the teams. "First team to rescue Lindsay wins. Grab canoes, let's go. We've got long ones this year, so your whole team should be able to fit into one."
That was true. I had to go with the Rats, since they were the smaller team. They'd lost three members and only had three left for the moment. Even Dakota came along.
Sam didn't bother paddling like Scott and Lightning. He'd brought a whole tonne of handheld games to the island, and I was pretty sure I'd found all of them, but it had taken over a week. He was lying there, saying that his brain wasn't working properly because of him not having played a game in a whole day. Then, he suddenly sat up, staring at the ducks. "Did you guys see that just now?" he asked
"See what?" Scott replied impatiently, still rowing.
I looked at Sam hard. Was he seeing a first-person shooter game with ducks?
"Sam, this is Total Drama, not Survive The 80s." I said patiently. "Video games are not part of it. If you see anything that looks like a video game, you're probably daydreaming, okay?"
Sam appeared to snap out of it, looking at the ducks again, but then turning to look at me. "I guess," he mumbled. "What's the show where you play video games?"
I gave a sigh. "It's in New Zealand. They had to play old video games in one episode. And they had Pac-Man at their shared house. Don't think about that, think about what you're doing. You're on Total Drama."
The Sasquatch, by the way, hadn't done anything past kidnapping Lindsay. He didn't seem aggressive. By the time I got there with the teams, they sitting were at the top of some scaffolding (I found out from Chris later that he was trying to turn Boney Island into his own resort, but the workers seemed to have deserted the area by the time we got there, it apparently not being fit for resort life, what a shocker). Lindsay was talking sympathetically to him. "Awww, it's okay, yeti," she said, "The world just can't handle a beauty like yours. You're a snowflake, only, like a lot bigger. I mean, like, a lot."
"Okay, guys, it's up to you how you do this," I informed the teams. "Have at it."
"Don't hurt him!" Lindsay called down. "He just has big hairy body issues!"
"I hear that." Jo muttered. But when her team stared at her, she added "Um, I mean, did you hear that? He's got issues! We've gotta take that psycho yeti out!"
The teams made different plans. Lightning started making some plan about a three-pronged attack. Not great when Sam seemed to be hallucinating even worse. I was wondering if it might be a good idea to disqualify him just so he could get back into the games.
The Maggots were more creative. Cameron suggested the Maggots use someone prettier to lure the yeti away. Jo took a step forward. "Maggots, break out the beauty products!" she commanded. "I'm going in!"
I was proud of Jo at that moment. I knew exactly how much she hated makeup from talking to her. This was a major sacrifice, even if it was part of winning.
However, before Lightning could put his plan into action, Sam's video game mode started paying off. The guy started running up the scaffolding surprisingly fast. The Sasquatch threw barrels at him, but he just jumped them. Then he found a leftover sledgehammer and started smashing the next barrels. Problem was, he didn't make it. The yeti just threw him straight down to the bottom as soon as he got up.
Sam's performance might have been why I didn't notice Jo's makeup until after she got to the top herself. I found out later, reviewing the footage, that Zoey had taken charge, but it was taking so long that Chester came out, got impatient and insisted on finishing it off himself. At least if it had been Svetlana, she might have had some idea of what kind of makeup would look good, but a grumpy old man who was out of touch trying to make up a teenager who hated makeup already…yeah, bad combination. Brick almost passed out on her, but Jo just figured that meant she was a "drop-dead knockout".
And of course, when Mike came back, his first question was "Whoa, what did you guys do to Jo?"
That's the thing. When Jo made an attempt on the Sasquatch, it just started laughing, and Lindsay added "See, that's another what not to do."
Well, the Maggots still won, I guess. I mean, Jo still took the Sasquatch down. It's just that when she saw the messy makeup in Lindsay's compact, she was so cross she started hurling barrels at Mike, who dodged, asking what he'd done.
"Okay, if Jo will kindly stop throwing stuff so I can get on to more important things, it's pretty clear the Mutant Maggots have won this one!" I called out. "And as we have a very special twist coming up, I'm going to need both teams at the campfire ceremony. And no," I added as I saw some of their eyes light up, "It's not the merge. We're only at Episode 6 here, and the merge is always announced before a challenge, not after. Now, let's head back to Wawanakwa!"
I saw Lindsay off immediately after the challenge was over. "Sorry the yeti went for you," I said sincerely. "I had no idea that the Rats would think dressing him up was a good idea."
"He was fine!" Lindsay said blithely. "He was just hurt because no one liked his outfit." She gave me a hug. "It was great to be on this season!" she added. "You're, like, totally my fave host."
Not a high bar to reach, but I appreciated the sentiment.
I cornered Mike later that night after I'd checked the footage, just so I could explain to him why he was getting the heat from Jo. "Chester did Jo's makeup in the end," I explained, "And he did a rush job, saying you guys weren't painting the Sistine Chapel or something like that. Jo hadn't listened to anyone when they warned her to check it. Sorry you had to suffer for it."
Mike gave a weak smile. "I get it," he shrugged. "Chester offends a lot of people with the way he complains. I guess it's because that's what I feel like doing whenever I get frustrated."
"Everyone does," I assured him, "Including me. Just being host is a problem when I sometimes want to go off on people – and you know I can't tell you who," I added quickly. No way was I going to tell him a word about that. I'd had a hard time not outing Scott, and the whole Zoey thing didn't help.
But Mike brought it up for me. "I wasn't going to ask," he said carefully, "But since you mention that, is that why Zoey thinks you dislike her? She's really worried about it because she thought you were getting along at first."
I gave a sigh. "I don't dislike her. Tell her that from me, okay? If I seem a bit cross or distant with her, tell her it's nothing personal and that I still like her." Even though it wasn't totally true, it really was nothing personal and I wanted her to know that. And it would be much easier to have it coming from Mike second-hand than me having to say it, which is why I raced off to my trailer before Mike could suggest it (I knew he was going to).
Confessionals didn't tell me much more than what I already knew. That Sam was going through major game withdrawal, that Zoey was getting frustrated with Mike's alters because she still thought it was acting and didn't understand why he couldn't snap out at will, that none of the Rats knew a thing about fashion. The only thing I found out was that Scott had decided to start manipulating the Maggots, and he'd begun by crying to Zoey that the rest of the team had gone after Dawn without telling him and that she would have been the most helpful in talking to the Sasquatch. Zoey had tried to comfort him, falling for it completely. Honestly, that girl was far too nice.
The campfire ceremony started as usual. I'd guessed that the team was going to vote off Sam, and that's just what they did. He just said placidly "Looks Iike I'm out of continues. Sorry I couldn't have been of more help to you guys." He did ask if he could get his handhelds back when he was ready for the Hurl Of Shame after the ceremony was over, but that was only to be expected. And Dakota even came down to tell him she'd miss him and give him her number.
"Now," I said, "Mutant Maggots, there is a reason I called you here. Right now, the teams are too uneven. Five on one team, two on the other. I need two strong people from your team and one from the Rats to volunteer."
Jo jumped to her feet instantly. "Right here!"
"Ditto!" Scott called out.
I looked around at the other four Maggots. I began to take a breath to choose someone myself, but before I could, Brick stood up. "I'll take that responsibility."
I nodded. "Okay, you three, go and get your bags and switch cabins. Scott, you'll be on the Maggots as of tomorrow, and Jo, Brick, you're both Toxic Rats with Lightning from now on." Well, it ought to have evened up the odds for me – it meant I had at least one person I liked on both teams. Two, actually.
I know, a long chapter. And yeah, I moved Brick because I wanted to get things back on track for eliminations. Jo may have a nicer side in this fic, but she still takes no crap about saving lives.
And the show Survive the 80s...it's a real thing, made in New Zealand.Four teams do challenges for points, one from every year from 1980 to 1989. The team with the most points at the end won. As well as a vintage video game challenge, there was a D&D challenge, a fashion challenge, a song challenge (about something from 1986) and a horror movie challenge. The teams' songs are available on Spotify, titled "GST" ("It's here, GST has been introduced, in 1986"), "Farmer and Dog" ("Don't be melancholy, with your freedom you'll be jolly"), "Wham Split" ("Just know before I go, I don't want to be alone") and "Halley's Comet" ("I don't know the alphabet but I do know the best comet is Halley's Comet…learning is cool."). I personally like "Halley's Comet" (the guy on that team can do just about anything – he raps FAST).
