I'll Take You On

It wouldn't hurt to see you again

To her severe annoyance, it was harder than Brooke had expected to get Lucas alone. All day long, she searched for him between classes, but the few times she even got him in eyesight, he was with Jake or Peyton or, once, Nathan. Lunch was a bust, too, seeing as he sat at a table in the center of the cafeteria with half the basketball team.

So sneaking into the guys' locker room was a last-ditch effort on her part. She'd noticed that Lucas was the only one missing from the team at their afternoon practice, and had excused herself from cheering to track him down.

"Sorry I'm late, Coach," Lucas called out when he heard her footsteps, "I had to talk to Ms. Graham about a paper we're writing and – Brooke. What are you – what the hell are you doing in here?"

"I wanted to talk to you," she began, hesitantly.

He stared at her blankly. It was the first time he'd even seen her in weeks, much less engaged in a civil conversation with her. "It couldn't wait? I'm already late for practice and Whitey's gonna kick my ass."

"It's important," Brooke said firmly. Now that she'd gathered the courage to let him know what was going on, she wasn't going to be put off. "It's about us."

"Us?" He didn't mean to, but Lucas cringed at the pairing. "Brooke, if this is about what happened with Peyton and everything, I can't really get into it right now. I can come by later, though, or maybe –"

"I'm pregnant."

The words didn't exactly echo, but they did linger in the silence that followed, sinking into Lucas' bones and taking up residence on his conscience. "You're … you're pregnant," he repeated, his voice lifeless. "Are you kidding? Is this some kind of … revenge or something?"

"No!" Angered that he would even think she'd stoop that low, Brooke looked away. She still couldn't bring herself to really see who Lucas Scott had turned out to be. "No, I'm not … I wouldn't do that. It's for real, I've been seeing a doctor. I'm a little over two months along."

Lucas' mouth tightened. "Okay. Have you – have you told anyone else?"

"Nathan knows." She shrugged, unsure of how much he knew about the living arrangement she'd worked out with his brother. "He sort of found out by accident. He's been helping me."

"He's been helping you." Lucas exhaled slowly, trying to remain calm. "Great, that's just great. My brother's been helping you keep our baby a secret."

"It wasn't like that," Brooke insisted. "He wanted me to tell you, I just … I wasn't sure …"

"What?" He stared at her, hard, and then his eyes cleared as understanding dawned. "You thought I'd just abandon you? Tell you to deal with it and take off, like Dan did to my mom? Is that really what you think of me?"

"I didn't know what to think!" Brooke cried out. She wished she'd never met Lucas, never fallen in love with eyes a blue she'd never seen and a heart she'd thought was made of gold. "I was scared! I'm still scared. I don't know what to do and I just … I thought … I don't know. What do you think?"

Lucas' mind was racing almost as fast as his heart. His entire life was flashing before his eyes, the future that had laid ahead of him – scholarships, Ivy Leagues, pro ball – disappearing in the wake of Brooke's bombshell.

"Okay," he said, thinking aloud, speaking very quickly. "We can fix this, we can. We just … I've got money, Brooke, I'll take care of everything. You can just, just relax. I'll stay with you the whole time and then everything will be back to normal. No one will even have to know."

Very slowly, she lifted her head, her heart sinking to her feet as she realized what he wanted her to do. "You want to – you want to get rid of it?" she whispered, appalled at how quickly he'd come to the conclusion. "Just like that?"

"Well, we can't – we can't raise it," he answered, fumbling the words. He knew he was making a mess of the whole situation, but he didn't know what to do. He'd never expected this. "We're not even together. We're not even out of high school."

"That didn't stop your mother," Brooke pointed out, very calm. The tiny amount of hope she'd been holding onto was leaking out of the hole he'd just put in her heart. "But I guess she was a lot braver than either of us. I have to go."

"Brooke, wait," he tried, but she spun away from the hand that shot out to grab her and shook her head forcefully. "Brooke!"

She managed to wait until she was beyond the locker room doors, and then she broke into a run.

XXX

Nathan arrived home from a practice that had been conspicuously Lucas-free and followed the sounds of Brooke sobbing to the closed bedroom door. "Brooke?" He knocked softly, pressing his ear close to the wood. "You okay in there?"

It was a stupid question. He could tell from the sounds that she was nowhere close to okay, but it wasn't like he had years of experience in dealing with emotional, heartbroken pregnant girls. "Can I come in?"

She didn't answer, but a minute later, the lock clicked and she stood framed in the doorway. "Wow," he breathed, taking in the sight of her tear-stained cheeks, "You look like hell."

Her glare didn't lose any of its violence despite the watery eyes and the red nose. "Sorry," he said quickly, stepping inside before she could change her mind and slam the door in his face. "Bad time to joke, I guess."

Once inside, he stopped short, realizing that it was the first time he'd been in here without Haley. It looked the same, despite the obvious hints that Brooke was an inhabitant – a bra dangling from the desk chair, various tubes and tubs of makeup littering the vanity. "So I'm guessing it didn't go very well with Lucas."

"He told me to get rid of it," she said flatly. "Simple as that. It didn't even take him thirty seconds to offer up money and a ride to the clinic."

"Are you … you're serious? What a hypocrite." Nathan swung away from her, his hands balling into fists. "Of all people, I mean, come on. That's just wrong."

"I think it was so awful because he didn't even have to think about it," Brooke said, more to herself than to him. He stepped closer, listening anyway. "I mean, I've known for months and I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I think I wanted to keep it, deep down. When he said … when he offered me the money, I couldn't even breathe."

"Brooke, you can still keep it," Nathan said, stretching one tentative hand out to touch her shoulder. "I mean, you don't have to decide anything right this minute."

"How am I supposed to raise a baby?" Her laugh was bitter, as if she was choking on a particularly hard truth. "I'm eighteen and up until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know how to turn on a washing machine. I can barely take care of myself."

"I'd help you." He didn't think before making the offer, but even as the words rang in his own ears, he knew he meant it. "You could stay here. Summer's coming soon, I could get a job. It could work, Brooke."

Her head was already shaking. "No, no, Nathan. No. I'm not going to let you change your life any more than you already have for me. You've done enough, you know? You've been great. But I made this mess and I … I have to figure it out on my own."

"No, you don't, Brooke." His hand traveled from her shoulder to her cheek, laying lightly, almost tenderly, against her skin. "Just yesterday, you told me I was the closest thing you have to a friend. Well, ditto, okay? Lucas made his choice. Now you get to make yours. And I promise, no matter what it is, I'll stand by you."

It took her a moment to find her voice, she was so moved by his speech. "I, uh – I take it back," she said, bringing her fingers up to his wrist. He wasn't sure if she was trying to move his hand away from her face or bring him closer. "What I said yesterday. You're not the closest thing to a friend I have. You're the best friend I have. Which, really, I did not see coming."

He chuckled at that, and she laughed, too, and it felt good to know that she still could. "Seriously, though, Nathan," she pressed, "Thank you so much. For everything."

He didn't say anything, just moved his touch from her cheek to the back of her neck and pulled her close, as if he could shield her from the future. And they stayed like that, pressed together and silent, for a long time.