She Says

And when she breaks down and makes a sound,

You'll never hear her the way that I do

Nathan waited until Brooke had fallen asleep and tucked her into his bed, amazed at how little time it had taken for the mattress to curve to her shape, the pillows to shift to her liking. Then, after drawing the shades to keep the afternoon sun from disturbing her, he set out to find his brother.

He found Lucas in the first place he looked – at the river courts, taking shot after shot at one end of the court and missing two out of every three. "You're not focusing," he called out, his voice breaking the relative stillness that surrounded them.

"Yeah, well," Lucas grunted, taking yet another shot and scowling as it fell wide of the hoop, "I've got a lot on my mind."

Nathan leaned against the pole of the net, stuffing his hands into his pockets "Anything in particular?"

"Nothing that you," Lucas threw the ball forcefully in his direction, almost catching him in the chest before Nathan's hands flew up to block the blow. "Don't already know about."

"Listen, Lucas, if you have some sort of problem with me," he began, tossing the ball right back at him with just as much force.

"I do! Funny you should mention it, actually," Lucas cut in, his tone scathing. "Because you couldn't be bothered to mention to me that my ex-girlfriend was pregnant with my goddamn baby."

"I told Brooke I would wait for her to tell you," Nathan said defensively.

Lucas threw the ball at him again, harder this time, so that it stung as his palms closed over it. "And when did Brooke get higher than your brother on your list of priorities? Huh? Since when did the two of you get so close?"

"Since you ditched her for Peyton!" Nathan shouted back and this time, when he returned the ball, it was a direct hit to Lucas' gut, knocking the wind out of the other boy. "Somebody had to step in and help her out, man. I couldn't just sit back and do nothing!"

"Why not?" Lucas demanded, when he'd regained his breath. His gaze was cool and measuring, his next words carefully chosen. "That's what you did when Haley left."

Nathan didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he just shook his head in disgust. "You're a piece of work, man. Do you know that I just spent the last two hours watching Brooke cry over you? She went to you for help, even after what you pulled with Peyton, because she still thought of you as some larger-than-life superhero who knows just what to do. And you crushed her, Lucas."

"She didn't give me any time!" Lucas yelled. Beyond frustrated, he threw the ball as hard as he could, and they both watched as it sailed into the trees. "She comes to me in the locker room, drops this huge bomb, and then just expects me to magically make everything better? What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to talk to her," Nathan shot back. "Listen to what she had to say, maybe. I know, it might seem like a hard concept, but, God, Lucas. Think about what you would've wanted someone to say to your mom seventeen years ago. Think about what's best for you and Brooke and the baby."

"And what do you think that is? You're suddenly the expert on Brooke, the end-all, be-all of teenage pregnancy?" Lucas demanded. "What, then, in your esteemed opinion, is best for her?"

"Personally?" He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, meeting his brother's eyes dead on. Blazing brown flashed against blue steel in a silent battle of wills. "I think she's better off without you, no matter what she decides. You obviously never cared about her like you claimed to."

"And what? You do? Are you what's best for her now, Nate? Married at seventeen and abandoned by your wife before hitting eighteen?"

"Shut your mouth," he commanded roughly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Lucas' lips turned upwards in a cruel smirk, satisfied that he'd hit the mark. "Yeah. I guess I'm not the only one of us who didn't care enough."

"I guess I'm not the only one of us who takes after Dad," Nathan shot back, "Only difference is, I'm smart enough to change. Something tells me you just don't have what it takes."

Turning his back on the court and his brother, he walked away from them both for what would probably be the last time.

XXX

"Where'd you go?"

The words were soft and slurred with sleep, her eyes barely open, but Nathan knew she wouldn't let it rest until he'd answered. He sat down at the foot of the bed, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees. "To the courts," he answered, "I had something I needed to do."

"You saw Lucas."

It wasn't a question. Brooke could tell from his slumped posture, the crease in his forehead. She shifted beneath the covers to better see his face. "What happened? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing I'd like to repeat in this century." With a sigh, Nathan let his body fall backwards, collapsing into the mattress. "Oh, man, how can he such an ass?"

Brooke smiled wryly. "It wasn't too long ago that he was saying the same thing about you. Weird how things change, huh?"

He opened his eyes and took in the sight of her in his bed, the tips of her hair brushing against his arm. "Very," he agreed, letting his eyelids shutter closed again.

There was a rustling sound and then he felt her head burrowing into the crook of his shoulder, right where his arm met his torso. "I'm sorry that you guys fought because of me," she offered, her voice small and meek. "I wish things were different."

"Really?" he asked, resting his hand on the small of her back. "I don't."

"Well." She drew the word out on her tongue, and he didn't have to open his eyes to know that one eyebrow was arched, "Some things."

"Like what?"

"Like … I wish I didn't have to make this decision." She waited a beat, but he didn't say anything. "Is that awful?"

"I think it's perfectly normal," he assured her. "Hell, I wish you didn't have to make this decision. But you still have time, you know. It doesn't have to be sorted out tomorrow."

"I also wish Peyton and Lucas hadn't done … what they did," she said in response. She was quick to add, "I don't wish that I was still with Luke. But I just … I think all of this would be a lot easier to deal with if I didn't know how awful people could be to each other. To people they claim to care about."

Nathan shifted, drawing her closer, and cleared his throat before speaking. "I wish Haley and I hadn't rushed into the whole marriage thing," he offered. "I don't regret it, exactly, but I think it made everything harder than it had to be. You know, every fight had more significance, every decision carried major weight. I wish we'd let ourselves just be high school kids for a while longer."

"I wish you had, too," Brooke said softly. Her hand was laying flat against his chest, directly over his heart. She liked the feel of his skin jumping against her palm in a slow, sure rhythm. "I wish things were simple."

He laughed low in his throat, a deep, rumbling noise that vibrated against her form. "You'd be bored to death in three minutes or less by 'simple'," he told her, and felt her lips curve into a smile against his neck. "And you know it."

"You're probably right," she agreed, letting her eyes drift close. "But what a way to go."

Nathan felt her body relax into sleep and smiled to himself. Simple would have been nice, but right now, he couldn't think of a better way to spend his last waking moments than Brooke's skin warm against his and their hearts beating in sync.

He slept more peacefully than he had in weeks.