A/N: None of these characters belong to me but I like to believe so anyways :) I really hope you enjoy this, it probably sounds cheesy cuz I suck at reviews but whatever, just keep reading and PLEASE REVIEW :( pretty please? lol

Ladies Ball

By: Ranichan

With a loud crash, there appeared another Ranma-shaped hole in the ceiling above Akane's bedroom. Ranma then sat in the koi pond screaming in a very female voice, "It ain't my fault that I'm more attractive than you!" as he rang out his now wet shirt.

"We can't afford to keep repairing the roof!" Soun exclaimed.

"You're right, Tendo, we must get our kids together so they don't fight!" Genma schemed.

"But how?" Soun asked curiously. "Do you have a plan?"

"Of course! Here's what we do! We...then...we...oh! And we must..." Genma whispered to Soun deviously. "It just might work!"

"They're right... we can't afford to keep repairing the roof but their tactics won't work." Nabiki thought figuring where they stood financially.

"You're right, Saotome, as always! Of course, I don't understand the need of a sushi chef and a female acrobatic panda but no cost is too much if we can successfully get our kids together!" Soun reasoned, clasping his hands together. Tears sprang to his eyes as he pictured the future of the dojo once Akane and Ranma finally got together.

Nabiki scoffed as she imagined what kind of half-baked plan her father and Mr. Saotome had cooked up this time around. "If anything is going to get done, I'm going to have to do it..." she sighed. After a moment, she paused, "Wait... that means I'll be helping Ranma out... oh no, he'll have to pay dearly for this one...". She sat thinking for a while until something finally came to her. "That's perfect!" she gasped excitedly before regaining her composure. "Hmmmm... I may be taking advantage of Ranma for monetary gain... and he may get into one or three fights and could possibly get hurt or even be traumatized for life. Well... that's a risk I'm willing to take for the happiness of my baby sister. Besides, he won't be my problem. This could be interesting..." she thought as she began to plot how to put her plan into action.

"Cost of total damages: 40,000 yen!? This is outrageous!" Ryoga yelled as he read the bill that had inexplicably found him while on one of his detours. "Amount due to Nabiki Tendo!?" Ryoga read shrilly as he crushed the invoice in his hand. "This must be a joke! I'll get to the Tendo Dojo if it kills me!"

Elsewhere, in a lavish estate, there was a slight discrepancy as one, Tatewaki Kuno, skimmed over his own bill. "She wants 25,000 yen without giving me pictures or some other keepsake in return!? Nabiki Tendo, you heartless mercenary, thou knoweth nothing of my passion for Akane Tendo and the pigtailed-girl! Those acts were merely labors of love!" Kuno protested as he shredded the paper into confetti. "We shall see about this!"

All around Nerima, male martial artists were receiving bills for property damage incurred upon the Tendo home and dojo, not excluding its occupants.

As Happosai entered his room, he found it emptier than usual. His senses went haywire. Suddenly he was everywhere at once, searching for his collection of silky trophies. "Where are they!? Where are they!?" he cried frantically. He finally stumbled across a clue.

"Hey, Nabiki, what's this supposed to mean?" Ranma asked as she taped a bill to his nose. "The sum of 570,00 yen to be paid to Nabiki Tendo for damages done to the Tendo dojo and/or home? Since when?" Ranma read as he sat in the living room watching television.

"Since the property damage expenses are larger than our income and it's time for some payback." Nabiki drawled.

"But, Nabiki, what makes you think I have this much money!? I mean, you already weasel me outta my every yen."

"Well... there is another alternative." Nabiki grinned uncharacteristically.

"Huh?"

"Nabiki!!" Happosai growled as he burst into the living room.

"You rang?" she answered cooly.

"What is the meaning of this!?" he boomed, his small stature inflating in rage. A small paper found its way before Nabiki.

"Master, whatever it is, surely Saotome and I can rectify it. There is no need to take it out on my daughter." Soun whimpered, on the verge of tears. His and Genma's noses touched the ground solemnly.

"Butt out!" Nabiki and Happosai yelled in unison.

Soun burst into tears cowardly.

"You were saying, old man?" Nabiki asked, her business air still intact.

"Where are my silkies!?" Happosai yelled, his ancient aura flaring.

"You read the note, I've confiscated them to pay for the damage you have inflicted upon this institution. What they can't cover, you shall pay out of your pocket."

Suddenly his aura was dead and his entire facade morphed. "But... but why!?" he cried as large tears billowed from his eyes.

"I seek payment for the damages," Nabiki shrugged in simply.

"Why don't you just kill me!?" Happosai sobbed as he was reduced to a fetal ball in mere seconds.

After a brief hesitation, Nabiki answered indifferently, "It crossed my mind... but I can get more use out of you this way."

Before he could reply, the door was broken down by a horde of men led by Kuno. "Nabiki!" they shouted in unison.

"Gentlemen, if you'll follow me to the dojo we can sort this matter out." Nabiki announced over the ruckus. She calmly parted through the crowd and disappeared from view.

The group, as one, followed her in confusion. As they reached the dojo, they began protesting the bills once more.

"Silence!" Nabiki's voice rang throughout the training hall. "Now I'm sure you all are wondering why you all received bills from me. Well, over the course of your acquaintance with the Tendos and Saotomes, there have been many a war waged here. Thanks to me, you can hardly tell, but that is only taken care of by money from my pocket. It's about time you start cleaning up your own messes. I am charging you here on out for any damages you cause and have caused. Now if you'll please line up and make payment..."

"How can we be sure that the prices are valid?" came a ballsy outcry from the back of the crowd.

Nabiki smirked as she pulled out her tablet. "Hmm... Ryoga for damage to garden wall- 13,000 yen, Kuno for damages to broken paper door- 800 yen, Happosai for renevations after the mold incident- 68,000 yen, Ranma for total damages to roof, 150,000 yen, Kengyu for damages to dojo and cleaning up after Muchan- 3,400 yen, Gosunkugi for damages to trees- 100 yen, Mao Mo Lin for yard damages and cat nip- 700 yen... the list goes on if you would like to validate your bills." Nabiki read.

"But these prices are outrageous!" Ranma interjected from among the sea of testosterone.

"Well, Ranma, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime." Nabiki grinned.

The crowd began to protest and blame the damages on Ranma sourly.

"Well... I'll tell you what," Nabiki sighed, feigning defeat. "There is another way to pay."

"Out with it!" the crowd urged.

"If you cannot pay for the damages, have someone pay them for you." Nabiki pointed out as if it were common knowledge.

"How?"

"Where can I find someone like that?"

"You mean a sugar daddy?" (Sorry, I had to...)

"You know, I was getting to that..." Nabiki declared through gritted teeth. She sighed loudly and grabbed the bridge of her nose for comfort. "You see, we can have an auction. As willing or unwilling participants, whatever the circumstance, you will volunteer yourself to the highest bidder for an entire day, twenty-four hours. You will be at the disposal of any female... or thing that forks over the most yen for you. Should you choose to accept this form of payment, you'll be expected to return here in two days time, in your best formal wear. Those who wish to pay their own debt, please, step this way."

There was a general groan of disagreement but no one stepped forward, not even the wealthy Kuno. "Why, this auction will give the fair pigtailed girl and Akane Tendo a chance to show their love for me!" he enthused.

The others weren't as excited. One lone, disgruntled figure in particular stumbled into the dojo. Ryoga gasped as he used his umbrella to support himself. "What... is... the meaning... of....this..." Ryoga struggled to say in his shortness of breath. The tattered paper he presented to no one in particular to fell to the ground but not before he did.

The group blew raspberries and rolled their eyes as they evacuated the building, carelessly stepping over Ryoga.

"Hmm... now to recruit some men. Toma... Pantyhose Taro... Shinnosuke... Mikado...Monsieur Picolet... Copy Cat Ken... Sentaro... Tsubasa... Keerin... Satori... hmm... who else? I'll have to find another way to persuade them to join, they're clean on property damage as far as the Tendo dojo goes.... Hmm... and someone needs to pay for a new door." Nabiki left to ponder more on the matter, after all, there was a lot to be done in two days.

A/N: I promised I would post this soon (if you read The Prophet) but please, let me know what you think and I'll probably post the next chapter soon.