Buffy chewed the end of her pen quietly, struggling to find the words.

'Dear Spike,' She bega n, then scribbled the words out so furiously that the paper ripped. She sighed, gripped her pen firmly and got another piece of paper.

'Hey, Dust Boy...'

She stared blankly at the paper for a few seconds, and realised how stupid the words sounded. She screwed the paper up into a little ball and threw it on the floor with the many others.

He doesn't like you,She thought firmly. Slayer-Vampire. Slayer kill Vampire.

It was no use. She had to tell him somehow. She took another piece of paper from the diminishing pile and began again:

I can't help the way I feel...The words you gave me...

Roses flowed from her pen and grew around the words as she drew them idly, thinking. She embossed them with prickling thorns and paused to read it through, realising that she hadn't mentioned anything that she should have.

"The words you gave?" She muttered,annoyed, "Which? 'Slayer', 'luv' or 'pet'?" She scribbled at the offending page and launched it over her shoulder.

"Slayer's my personal favourite,"A voice said from behind her.

She turned around quickly, remembering the open window and cursing herself. Spike grinned down her as if he could read her thoughts.

"You must be, what, like 200-and-something now. I can't believe you survived the climb." She said in her usual mocking manner.

"Window open, light on." He replied, slipping off his duster and sitting on the floor. "Slayer's had a bath in expensive perfume." He added with a grin.

Buffy couldn't resist the temptation to smile.

"I did not bathe in it!" She said defensively."It's my favourite."

"I know that, luv.'S'just, maybe you should think about the expenses..."

Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed in what she hoped was a bored manner.

"Have you been talking to Will? 'Cause we don't have money problems. We're money-happy. Money money money. We're rolling in-" She caught his eye and trailed off.

"No money problems, fine, pet. No need to get so worked up 'bout it." He added with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" She asked, her tone suddenly brisk.

"Comin' to ask you 'bout patrollin' tonight. There's this guy...big on the evil." He waved a hand vaguely.

"Oh yeah? 'Cause, y'know, normal people use the front door." It was her turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Didn't wanna wake Nibblet up...She's all scary teenager."

"'Scary teenager'? So bad at lying..."

"Well...you jumped on me, pet,"He began, grinning when he saw her blush. "I mean, surprised me. You surprised me."

"I know." Buffy muttered, knowing how stupid it was to get so embarrassed at a simple phrase."Anyway, about patrolling..." She added quickly.

"You up for it, luv?" He watched her blush again.

"Yeah. I'm up for...patrolling. I'll come patrolling." Buffy grabbed a stake from her desk and held it, making stabbing motions in thin air.

Spike raised an eyebrow, slightly dubious about the pyjamas she was wearing, but not wanting to say so with a stake at such close proximity. He pulled his duster back on and took a cigarette from one of the pockets.

"Don't you dare light that in here." Buffy warned, waving the stake.Spike was the only one she knew that smoked, and if her room stank the next morning, it'd be pretty obvious who had been there.

He raised his hands above his head, then put the cigarette back in his pocket.

"Can we go, pet?" He asked, ducking out of the window and preparing to climb out.

"Keep your teeth on, Dust-Boy." She muttered, but followed him out of the window and into the dark.

Spike reached the floor before she did, springing like a cat and landing on two feet. Buffy was normally good at climbing, but the thought of him watching her, probably eyeing her ass, made her feel uncomfortable and dizzy. She didn't want to give in and ask him for help, so she wobbled, holding onto the window frame, her feet dangling uselessly.

"Help me, don't just stand watching!"She gasped finally as her hand slipped. He moved forwards, sighing, and stood beneath where she hung.

"Let yourself go, I'll catch you," He reassured her gently. Her spine tingled at the sound of his voice, and, after flailing about for a few minutes, she let go.

Almost at once, Spike had caught her, and there was a frozen moment where she was in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, and his hands cradling her like a baby. She breathed in his comforting smell of smoke and musky aftershave...

Then the moment was gone, and Spike gently let her slide to the ground.

"C'mon. Let's get that stake of yours working," Spike mumbled, striding off into the night.

He was confused. Ok, maybe that wasn't so new, but he was still confused.

The Slayer writing stuff 'bout me? He wondered, watching her stare at the floor as she walked beside him. Her feet were bare, and she shivered in a sudden breeze.

He took off his duster and offered it to her. She stared at it, almost like itwas poisonous.

She still hates me, then.

"Pet, have you seen what you're wearing? Just put it on, or we'll never get anything done." He said, almost like a command.

Buffy touched the leather and pulled it on. It fell toher ankles, and she giggled. Spike smirked.

"C'mon, luv. by the time we get goin' all the vamps'll have gone home to bed. Then I will be bloody Dust-Boy."

"No blood, just dust. Dust Boy." She added, raising her stake again and walking to keep up with him.

They arrived at thecemetary a few comments later. Spike leant against a gravestone and lit a cigarette, inhaling like his un-life depended on it.

"Now who's taking their time?" Buffy sat next to him, rolling her eyes.

"What's the point, though, luv? We've not patrolled normally since you came back."

"True." Buffy didn't even flinch at this reference to her death. She knew, deep down, that Spike understood her more than anyone, and it seemed to muffle the pain.

"I'm glad I did, though," She added slowly, realising that this would be a great time to tell him.

Spike looked surprised, and she stared right into his eyes. The colour reminded her of sky, of cornflowers, of the beautiful heaven that she had left behind.

"Why's that?" He asked curiously. The way he said it made her heart hammer in her chest, and she look down at her shoes again, embarassed.

"Well...I guess, getting to-" She paused. It felt like all the moisture had left her mouth. She coughed and managed a smile. "Getting to-know you." She mumbled, blushing purple.

Spike's smile, she was sure, could have melted a glacier.

"Nice to know, pet,"

"They said you cried." She said, looking up into his eyes again. The smile faded, and he seemed to freeze.

He nodded, finally.

"Think I cried everyday. Cried myself to sleep. Cried after patrollin'. Cried in my dreams."

Buffy felt tears creeping up on her. He sounded so sad,so alone. She lifted his chin so that he was looking at her, before she kissed him lightly.

"I'm here now," She whispered, and held him close to her, so close that she felt she couldn't ever let go.