Disclaimer:
I neither own nor claim to own any of the characters or merchandise about or from any of the Final Fantasies. If I did, why am I writing this?
Author's Note:
Okay, thank you all who reviewed! That really lifted my spirits to hear comments such as yours! Cause I've had the worst case of writer's block on this Earth for the past four months and I have not seemed to have the mental capability to pull myself out of it. I hope this chapter is up to snuff from the first one. There's no Reno/Tifaness in this chapter and won't be for a while. Things like this take time. I hope I didn't go overboard on this chapter though...
"Mommy?"
I looked up from the book I was reading and lifted my son into my arms. "What is it, sweetie?" I asked as I played with his fuzzy golden hair.
He looked down at the small plush chocobo he was holding onto then looked up at me with those cerulean blue eyes that seemed to glow. "Where's Daddy?"
I managed to choke down the lump in my throat at my two year old's comment. I reached up a hand and pressed down on my closed eyelids to prevent myself from crying. "Daddy is….uh…." I tried to explain it in a way his two-year-old mind would understand. "Daddy doesn't want to live with us, sweetheart."
A confused expression began to float around in his small eyes. "Why?"
I breathed in deeply and prayed that I would be able to get through this without breaking down. Good thing Raoul didn't need me at the casino today. I probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate. "I…..don't know, honey. I really don't know."
I looked over my son's head to the coffee table and stared hard at the solitary picture of a certain blonde haired warrior. I leaned forward and grabbed the frame, handing it to my son. "That's your daddy. His name is Cloud."
Logan stared at the picture before looking up at me. "Do I look like my daddy, Mommy?"
I bit my bottom lip as I stared down at the picture in my son's hands. "Yes, you do," I said, gently putting my hand on his cheek.
He smiled and hopped off of my lap, setting the picture back on the table. He stood and stared at it for a few moments more and that's when he truly did look like Cloud. The same expression that was present on my small son's face was the same one that was always present on Cloud's when he was confused or didn't know what to do.
Logan looked at me once more before turning and walking down the hallway to his room, more than likely to get a new toy to play with. I sighed as I picked up my book once again only to toss it onto the table, uninterested in it at the time being.
That night, I had just finished putting Logan to bed and was getting ready to go to sleep as well when I heard a knock come to the door. I frowned, wondering whom it could be. I opened the door and if I wouldn't have been holding onto the doorknob I probably would have collapsed right there. My knees started to shake as I looked upon the man that had done as much harm as good to me in one sitting.
Cloud Strife stood in front of me; eyes downcast, a neutral look on his face. "May I come in?" He asked, raising his eyes to look at me.
My left hand balled into a fist and began shaking like it would lash out and hit him any second. I nodded feebly and stepped back, allowing him passage. As soon as he was inside I closed the door and stood there in front of it with a weary expression on my face.
Why did he have to come back into my life? Why, when I was finally starting to get over the fact that I'd never see him again?
He walked into the middle of the living room and put his head into his hands like he didn't know what to say, so I spoke up first.
"What are you doing here, Cloud?" I asked, crossing my arms.
He sighed and turned around. "So, how have you been?" He asked, totally ignoring my question.
I scoffed. "Quit the small talk, Cloud. Why are you here?" I repeated, trying to emphasize my point.
He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Our child too."
"My son is doing just fine," I retorted.
He smiled faintly then looked down at his hands for a few seconds before looking back up at me. "What's his name?"
"Logan James Lockheart."
"Oh," he mumbled, like he was expecting me to give my son his last name or something.
"Look, Cloud," I said, beginning to pace back on forth in front of the door. I raised my hand to my forehead and began to rub my temples, feeling a headache starting to surface. I opened my mouth to say what I was meaning to but no matter how I moved my mouth I couldn't utter a sound. I began to chuckle under my breath like this whole situation was somehow funny in an extremely sick way.
I was telling myself I shouldn't be laughing; I should be angry enough to foam at the mouth.
Cloud, seeing me in my present state, walked forward and took my hand in his. Somehow during the time that I looked like some kind of a reject from the funny farm he figured that he could cheer me up.
I stopped dead in my tracks and looked down at my hand then up at him. He had some kind of love sick look in his eyes that made me feel weak in the knees and feel like vomiting all at the same time. "Tifa, I know I may have screwed up in the past but I want to make it right. I want to be the father and husband I should have been three years ago."
At that point I was seriously considering literally kicking him out of my house. How could he expect to leave me to raise a child alone then come back when said child is almost three years old and expect me to take him back like he's the only man I could ever get?
I plucked my hand from his and stared hard into his face. "Why?"
His eyes got wide for a minuet, shocked that I would ask him something as crazy as that. "Why, Tifa? What do you mean why? I realize I messed up and I want to help you raise Logan."
"No, Cloud, you don't seem to get it," I said, walking around behind him and over to the coffee table. I stopped and looked down at the picture I had just shown my son earlier that day. I bent over and picked it up, running my fingers along the dark wood of the picture frame. "Do you know what 'your' son asked me today?"
Cloud shook his head.
I turned the frame around so he could clearly see the person in the photo. "He asked where his daddy was."
A guilty expression washed over his face as he opened his mouth to say something but I swiftly apprehended him before he could say a single thing. "Do you know how broken hearted I was? I was hoping he'd never ask me that until he was older and could understand that his so called 'daddy' knocked mommy up then left because he wasn't ready to start a family yet! What, Cloud, do you think that I would fall on my knees as soon as you walked in that door thanking you profusely for coming back?" I laughed bitterly. "I don't think so. Even for a second."
Cloud frowned before an angry look appeared on his face. "Tifa, I think you know as well as I do that your little boy is mine too!" He exclaimed, walking a few steps closer to me.
"Well you didn't act like he was yours when you found out that I was pregnant with him. You got cold feet and ran out on me like some kind of teenage boy. I'd expect that from a sixteen year old but not from a twenty-two year old. What was so important that you wouldn't want anything to do with me or our unborn child?"
He clenched his jaw muscles for a few moments before answering. "I was looking for Aeris."
I placed my hands on my hips and looked at him like he had just fallen right out of the sky. "So, what then? Now that you realize that she really is dead and is not coming back you want to start over with me?"
"That's not how it is at all," he said in desperation, walking towards me and taking both my hands in his. "I realized after all that searching that I really do love you and want to raise Logan with you."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No, Cloud, you just think you love me and you just think you want to be the father you should have been and raise Logan. I'm sorry, Cloud, but you just can't expect me to be waiting around for someone that never was really there in the first place."
Cloud opened his mouth but a sound behind him made him stop and look. I could feel every muscle in Cloud's body grow rigid as he looked down on an exact copy of himself.
I rushed over to Logan and picked him up. "What's wrong, sweetie?" I asked, kissing his forehead.
"Is that my daddy?" He asked, squinting his tiny eyes at Cloud.
I looked at Cloud and nodded my head. "Yes, honey, that's your daddy." I walked over to the door and pulled it open. "But it's time for him to leave."
Logan looked at me confused then back at Cloud before laying his head down on my chest and gripping his blanket tightly.
"Tifa, don't do this to me," Cloud said, walking towards me.
"You've already done it to yourself, Cloud," I said, my gaze never faltering. "The second you thought about leaving you had already done it to yourself."
He looked helplessly at me then the bundle of blonde hair that was curled up in my arms before trudging out the door. I quickly shut it and locked it then walked over to the couch, falling into the cushions.
Logan looked up at me and kissed me on the cheek. "It's okay, Mommy. Daddy will be okay."
I smiled as he lay his head back down. He didn't realize what had just happened and I hoped he didn't for a very long time.
Author's Note:
All right, I really hope I didn't go too overboard with this... Just tell me how I did in your review and remember to be gentle! There's a little button down on the left that needs a little lovin'!
