Ch.7: Staring Deep into One's own Soul
Moments pass as Zell stands motionless in the center of his room, lost in his own thoughts. A while later he finally snaps out of his reverie, he walks towards the sink and begins running cool water over his hand.
"Damn, what is wrong with me?" Zell winces slightly, not at the pain, but at the gruesomeness of the task at hand.
With his wound thoroughly cleaned he opens the top drawer on his dresser and pulls out some gauze and medical tape. Slowly and cautiously he begins tightly wrapping his hand with gauze and then follows up by the tape.
After a few minutes he finishes, and he examines his work carefully. He shakes his head in conformation that he did a good job. It looks much like a regular wrap job for a boxer, before he puts on his gloves.
So nobody gets suspicious he wraps his other hand in the same manner, and figures everyone will think he is going too, or was just training.
The day passed like any other, except for one major thing, he didn't hang out with Quistis. But other than that everything went as usual, he went to the training center for a few hours and after had his celebratory hot dogs.
While in the cafeteria he saw Quistis walk by and wave. He wanted so bad to run out and talk to her, or just give her a hug, anything, but he knew he couldn't, so he just flashed her the widest smile he could manage despite all the food in his teeth and waved back.
After that Zell wasn't hungry, he pushed his plate aside and leaned back in his chair, deep in thought. A sudden jerk backwards and Zell felt like he was going to fall, so he flopped around trying to catch his balance, but it didn't work, once again he fell right on his ass, the normal spot.
While lying upside down, he caught a glimpse of a cowboy pointing and laughing at him.
"Smooth move Zell!" Irvine drawled in between laughs.
"Very funny Irvine." Zell huffed, and proceeded to fix his chair and sit back down.
"So I haven't seen you around all day, what have you been doing?" Irvine questioned while stealing one of Zell's hotdogs.
Zell didn't even try to stop him, for the first time in his life, he was full of hotdogs. "Nothing, just had a lot on my mind lately and I needed some time to think." Zell replied nonchalantly.
"Yeah no worries man. It looks like you just got done doing some training." Irvine pointed to Zell's taped fists.
Zell hastily removes his hands from the table and places them nervously on his lap. "Yeah…well I should get going." Zell started to get up from the table.
"Hey wait, where are ya goin'?" Irvine questioned and reached for Zell.
"Ugh…no where really, just going to go back to my room and catch some Z's." Zell tried to be as calm as possible, but sweat erupted on his face.
"But it is only 6, come on man, the night is young, and so are we, let's chill." Irvine got up and put his arm around Zell's shoulders.
Zell stepped back and lifted the cowboy's arm up off him. "Sorry Irv, but I'm beat man, maybe some other time." Zell finished and walked away, leaving a confused Irvine behind.
Zell shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts as he made his way back to his room. Irvine was right, it was pretty early to be going to bed, but with the way things have been going, Zell could use all the sleep he could get.
Zell made it to his door without any other interruptions. As soon as he opens the door he is gripped into a huge bear hug. Zell's eye's burst out of his head, and he gasps for air.
"Hiya Zelly!" Came the sweet voice of a tiny, but very, very strong brunette.
Zell tried to reply, but couldn't due to lack of oxygen. Finally the relentless hold ceases and Zell drew in a much needed breath of air.
"So Zell, whatcha doing?" Selphie curiously asked, bouncing up and down.
'God she can be so hyper sometimes.' "Nothing really, just going to bed." Zell faked a yawn and stretched. "Yeah, I'm really tired."
"Oh come on, we should go do something tonight, all of us." Selphie encouraged.
Zell thought about it for a brief moment, wondering if Quistis would be there, but he remember he wasn't supposed to spend time with her. "Nah I'm way too tired Selph, but Irvine said he wanted to do something, you should go asked him. I mean he is your boyfriend and all." Zell said trying to get her to leave him alone.
"Yeah he is, but I wanted all of us to do something, he and I hang out everyday, and that is a lot of Irvine." Selphie giggled. "So come on, and stop being such a baby." Selphie teased and grabbed Zell's arm.
"No!" Zell ripped his arm away, leaving Selphie shocked. "Just leave me alone and get off my back!" Zell roared, scaring Selphie. He quickly turned around and went to his room, slamming the door hard in the stunned brunette's face.
A frown was plastered on Selphie's face as she stares a hole through the wall. "What's his problem?" Selphie murmured to herself, as she made her way down the hall.
Zell shook his head, and sighed. He made his way to his bed and curled up, pulling the blankets tight. As he gazed into the corners of his room, he just wished the day would be over.
As the sun rose on the start of a new day, Zell emerged more depressed than ever. The previous mission was really taking its toll on Zell's psyche. He barely had any ambition to do anything and his social status went 0, not like it was much higher before.
Squall's stern voice boomed over the loud speaker, "Zell Dincht, Irvine Kinneas, Rinoa Heartilly, Selphie Tilmitt, and Quistis Trepe please come to the conference room"
Everyone made it to the conference room promptly. Quistis looked around the room wondering where Zell could be. Her stomach began to twist as it kept getting later and later.
"Well let's begin." Squall started, but stopped abruptly as Quistis spoke up.
"Zell's not there." She sated an obvious fact, but a serious one none the less.
"Yes I know, but that isn't my problem and we really need to get started." Squall replied firmly.
Quistis lowered her head, and only thoughts of Zell flooded her mind.
"We will be heading to Galbadia, there have been recent reports of attacks towards their military. We think it is just an excuse to start a war, but as a show of good faith Balamb is going to aid in security and make sure everything is ok. And since this is a show of good faith, we aren't getting paid either." Squall started.
"What? We ain't getting paid, that sucks!" Irvine drawled and kicked back in his seat while putting his feet on the table.
Squall just cocked and eyebrow and continued. "Yes, well that doesn't matter, what matters is that we help them out, but make sure we stay on our guard, who knows what they could be planning, it might be an ambush. So just be prepared and we will be leaving at noon tomorrow, so get some rest. That will be all for now."
After twenty minutes or so the meeting was finished. Squall briefed everyone on the next mission, and waved everyone goodbye. He walked over to Quistis and placed a hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of a daze.
"Quistis, just make sure Zell gets all the info, about our next mission. And tell him to be more prepared!" Squall commanded and walked out the room with Rinoa by his side.
Quistis almost broke down right there, but she held it back. "Zell where are you!" Quistis questioned aloud out of frustration.
As she walked scouring the Garden for any sign of Zell she wondered what was wrong with him, how could he miss a meeting like that, and not even explain why he missed it.
She figured she would try the usual place, the training center. Upon entering her hand slowly made its way to her waist, and gripped her Save the Queen.
She made her way around the center uncontested, which was a nice surprise.
"Dammit I could have sworn he would be here!" Quistis cursed aloud.
When walking back towards the exit she caught a glimpse of a silhouette standing out on the terrace of the "Secrete Spot." Slowly she made her way over; the shadows vanish and leave a dejected Zell leaning his elbows on the railing, with a far away look in his eyes.
Quistis eyes softened and she places a tender hand on Zell's shoulder, making him jump at the realization he isn't alone anymore.
"Zell…" Quistis started hesitantly.
"Hey be careful, you may get in trouble if you are seen with me." Zell sneered sarcastically.
Quistis was taken back by his rudeness. "Zell what is wrong with you? Ever since the mission you've changed and not in a good way." Quistis said placing her hands on her hips.
"Zell why didn't you come to the meeting today, it was very important. It was about our next mission." Quistis informed.
Once again Zell spoke in silence. He turned around and walked right by the slightly taller blonde as if she wasn't even there.
Quistis anger flared, and she followed Zell back inside the training center. She watched as Zell effortlessly took down a Grat. His movements were beautiful, but very deadly.
Quistis approached Zell from behind and brushed pass him. His fists were still up and he was still in fighting position, as Quistis entered his gaze. She looked at him with determined eyes and entered a fighting pose of her own.
"Spar with me." Quistis challenged.
Zell stared at her with steely eyes. Quistis stood there calmly, waiting patiently for a response.
Zell's eye twitched and he charged with frightening speed. Quistis pulled out her whip and swung it with deadly aim, it wrapped around Zell's foot, sweeping his leg right out from under him.
With a loud thud, Zell fell face first on the ground. Quistis flipped the whip again, ready to strike Zell's chest, but the swift blonde rolled out of the way, and jumped back up to his feet.
He dashed forward and Quistis went for a straight solar plexus slash, but Zell instantaneously side-stepped it and came within striking distance of his own.
Quistis could feel her heart stop as Zell was within range for an attack. Her frightened eyes bore deep within Zell's, she saw nothing in Zell's eyes, nothing but an intense rage. For the first time Quistis, was honestly afraid of Zell, yes she was afraid of being seriously hurt by the "happy go lucky" Zell Dincht.
Zell cocked his hand back and in a split second, he twisted his hips and released a devastating punch with all his might.
Quistis just closed her eyes and let out a small scream and waited for the pain.
Zell watched as his fist neared its target with deadly force and accuracy. A smile devilish smirk slithered across his features.
"Ahh!" Came the scared scream of Quistis.
Her screams ripped through Zell's ears, his eyes widen with the realization of what he was just about to do. At the very last moment his fist comes to an abrupt halt only centimeters in front of Quistis' face. A burst of wind buffets Quistis' hair from Zell's attack.
Quistis hesitantly opens her eyes, when she didn't feel any pain. She wondered if it happened so fast that she was dead, but instead she was staring at Zell's fist. It was so close she could feel the heat radiating off his gloves.
She swallowed hard, and lowered her arms in defeat. Her small hand grabbed the fist blocking her vision and lowered that as well.
She shook her head, and tears welled up in her eyes. Slowly she turned around.
"Zell you could have…really hurt me." Quistis barely spoke, her words vanished as soon as they left her mouth, but they were just loud enough for Zell to hear.
With that Quistis left Zell to question not only his actions, but himself as well.
A/N: Well there you go, this chapter probably would have been up three weeks ago, but my damn computer was being a douche bag, so it took a while longer. Plus work has been murder lately so I'm truly sorry it took so long, hopefully there are some of you out there that will still read it and review. Also a big thank you to Selphie Fan, now I know I have a hard time with tense changes, and i read through this one and it has some mistakes as well, but like I said work sucks and Iu'm getting ready to go back right now. I know that this isn't a good excuse, but I really just wanted to get this post up mistakes or not, so people keep reading and don't think that I'm not going to finish this like so many others. No worries, I finish everything I start! BOOYAH! But please Selphie Fan keep on critiquing my work, because my other story, Shadow of the Sun, I am making sure to keep my tense changes in check, and it's all because of YOU! Well ok next chapter will hopefully be up soon, unless I'm doing another chap. for Shadow of the Sun, and once I get a couple more chapters up on that the rest will go quickly because I practically have the story almost all written out. :) well later...
