(G58 - OR 07/08/09)

Back in Seawall Pass..

(day 7 cont)

And so, after a trip to the General Store run by Brian, the heroes retired to the
inn, tired and sick with the burning plague.

(day 8)

That night, Banjax, driven by his thirst for revenge and a desire to humiliate his
'Auntie' put into action the plan he had concocted on the walk back to the town.

Firstly he spend some time forging some notes and documents.

Next he went to another inn and asking around, and found the perfect place for the
'sting', and abandoned fish warehouse outside of town.
Here he placed the first of his forgeries.

He then walked back into town, past the mayor's house and when he was sure it
was safe to do so, he lobbed a brick through the window with a note attached.
When the mayor awoke and came to the window, Banjax then took a pot shot with
a kobold crossbow, and more by luck than judgment hit the mayor and left him
in a critical condition. Banjax then dropped the crossbow and fled.

When the guards arrived they took the note from the brick and read:

'Varlet Mayor! I cannot stand your hatred of the short races any
longer! Know this - I mean to kill you!
Yours, The Pink Pants Bandit, leader of the Shorties Liberation Front.'

This was the second of Banjax's forgeries of course.

The deceitful and murderous bard then returned to the inn where they were all staying
to snatch a few hours sleep before phase two of his plan.

They all gathered for breakfast in the morning and were surprised to have
a note delivered to Wulfgar by an urchin who quickly ran off.

The note read :

'Dear Wulfgar, I am in great danger! I cannot tell you who I am just now,
but know that I am a proud dwarf too and in gravest need of your help. I
am hiding in the abandoned fish shed. Please come!
Also - beware, some of the town guards in Seawall Pass are not
all that they appear to be.'

They were much confused by this note and it provoked much discussion. Banjax
of course knew exactly what it was as he had just arranged to have it delivered
himself and it was his third forgery.

Fredorick and Wulfgar decided although it could well be a trap that they should
at least check out the fish shed.

While the others went off to the temple to get healed up in preparation for this,
Banjax skulked off saying he was 'going to gather some information about the shed.'
He was in fact paying another urchin to deliver the following note to the town
guards,

'If you are looking for the Pink Pants Bandit, he is at the
abandoned fish shed, Yours, a concerned citizen.'

When they re-united, Banjax, Fredorick, Bokk, Wulfgar and Dana headed for the
fish shed and cautiously approached it.
Wulfgar did not trust the main door so he gained entry by the expedient of simply
hacking through a side wall.

Looking around the large shed he spied a single table with a thin book on it.
Encouraged by Banjax who had also entered, he examined the book, but did not
touch it. He could see the letters 'SLF' on the front of the document.

Just then, outside, Fredorick was dismayed to see a dozen armed and angry
town guards arrive.
'Where is the little grit sucker?', growled Bartholomew, their leader.
Fredorick did his best to calm the situation, and was even handed to note
to read that the guards had received.

Everyone entered the fish shed and Wulfgar, acting quickly, slipped the SLF
manifesto into his backpack - little realising how incriminating the document
was!

After some angry talk, Bartholomew demanded that Wulfgar prove that he was not
the 'Pink Pants Bandit'. Banjax cheerfully pulled down his trousers and declared,
'Mine are not pink anyway!'

Next, Fredorick stoically did the same and proved likewise. Finally all but Wulfgar
had exposed themselves. When he did finally reveal a portion of his underwear,
much to his surprise they were pink! (In actual fact, Banjax had changed their
colour with his Prestidigitation spell back at the inn)

'Wait!', cried Fredorick in dismay, 'Banjax, can you cast a Detect Magic spell
on Wulfgar's underwear?'
Banjax, hardly able to contain his glee at how well his plan was going, dutifully
cast the spell and declared loudly,
'I can see that there is definitely magic in his pants!'

The final nail was put in the coffin when the bags were searched and the SLF
manifesto was revealed.
It read :

'I Wulfgar swear before the dwarven gods and by my lovely pink pants that all those that stand in our
way will die! Starting with the infidel of a mayor of Seawall Pass as instructed by my Shorty
Liberation Front brethren.
Starting with him, and then dealing blows against all the elders and officials of the town I will
bring it to it's knees! Only then will the people of the Seawall Pass be ready to accept the SLF
as their true masters and me as their ruler.
The rules of the new order will be:
1. All those over 6ft tall will be chopped off at the knees.
2. Everyone is to wear lovely pink pants.
3 All former town elders and officials, as well as their families are to be put to death.
4. Patting short men on the head for luck is to be punishable by death.
5. All shelves are to be lowered by three feet.
6. All horses will be butchered for meat and replaced with small ponies or large dogs.
7. There will be no wearing of tall hats.
8. There will be no wearing of shoes with heels, in fact all must go barefoot!
9. The use of step-ladders is forbidden.
following words are forbidden : Short, Short arsse, Half-Pint, Daisy cutter, Squirt,
Little, Small, Shortstop, Pigmy, Dwarf, Midget, Stunty and 'Knee-high to a Grasshopper'.

I do swear, and sign (in BLOOD) - WULFGAR.

'That's it!', shouted Bartholomew, he had had more than enough, 'Arrest them all!'

Hours later, back at the jail, Fredorick and Bartholomew were able to deduce,
by looking at some of the notes and comparing the hand writing, that Wulfgar had most
likely been set up. By who though, they had no idea. Some dark and sinister force,
possibly in league with the evil cleric at the mine?

Bartholomew did not know, but he did know he wanted all the people out of his town,
so they were all released on the promise that they went back to the mine and sorted
things out there.

This they did, and they arrived there at 5 o'clock in the evening.
This time things were better planned and as a consequence, went better. The evil
cleric did manage to delay things a little with a summoned giant spider and a
potion of invisibility, but he was soon knocked almost senseless by a blow from
Bokk and then felled by Fredorick. Finally he was finished off by a late kick between
the legs by Banjax.

Their mission complete at last, the bold adventurers headed back into town, all
the while discussing who they thought might be this mysterious nemesis that had
taken such a dislike to Wulfgar. None suspected, although the dwarf in question
had noticed the bard often smiling to himself when no one was watching, and he was
willing to swear on his axe blade that when it had reached the climax of anxiety
in the fish shed the half-elf was trying to control a fit of the giggles.
What did that mean though? The fool was clearly insane, or was he just happy to
see the dwarf so discomforted?

Banjax though was delighted. His plan had gone perfectly, better than he had hoped
indeed as he was sure he was going to land in jail again.
He also felt he had developed a taste for such deceptions, and if his friends could
have only but known what hazardous plots he was hatching in his twisted mind
on the way back to town that evening they would have fled in terror!