A/N: These are just short scenes of Dynasty Warriors people doing stupid stuff.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! (Well do I look like I do?)
Comedy Scenes
Gan Ning walks into a room, Ling Tong is sitting quietly
LT: Gan Ning, it's time for me to finish you once and for all
Ling Tong brings out a chess set
GN: I'm ready, bring it on
Start to play chess
5 minutes later Xiao Qiao walks in
XQ: Hi boys
LT: Shh……
Lu Xun, Sun Ce, Sun Shang Xiang, Da Qiao, Zhou Yu, Sun Quan walk in
LX: Hello
10 mins later
LT: Check mate!
GN: WHAT!
LT: I won! Ha ha ha!
LX: Chess…such a strategic game
SSX: Lu Xun, relax, stop with all the complex language
LX: I'm just trying to make sure that I don't forget it
SSX: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're having a party
LX: I know
SSX: Good
XQ: Zhou Yu, Zhou Yu, oh Zhou Yu I was looking for you
SC: I'm not Zhou Yu
XQ: Oh sorry lord Sun Ce
SC: That's alright, I think that Zhou Yu's over there with Sun Quan
XQ: Zhou Yu, I'm going to bed, see you later
ZY: See you later
Later, after the party…
ZY: Xiao Qiao, I'm back
ZY climbs into bed
ZY: Xiao Qiao?
DQ: Who are you?
ZY: Xiao Qiao, it's me, Zhou Yu
DQ: I'm Da Qiao
Da Qiao turns on the light
ZY: What?
DQ: Oh, I must have gone into the wrong room, sorry
SC: Da Qiao, I'm back…Da Qiao, wake up
XQ: What, Zhou Yu
SC: Xiao Qiao?
XQ: Yes
SC: Where is Da Qiao?
XQ: In the other room, is this your room?
SC: Yeah
XQ: Sorry, I thought my sister was more organized than me, she took my room, better switch
XQ: Zhou Yu!
ZY: Xiao Qiao! Let's go to our room
XQ: yeah
Morning
Xiao Qiao goes to the toilet
SQ: Zhou Yu, wake up
Zhou Yu pulls Sun Quan into bed
ZY: Xiao Qiao I love you
SQ: Zhou Yu, you idiot, I'm not Xiao Qiao, I'm Sun Quan, get off me!
ZY: What? Sun Quan, sorry Xiao Qiao went somewhere, I thought you where her coming back
SQ: Well, anyway, wake up, battle time
ZY: right, yeah
Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi are having a duel.
ZL: Sima Yi, let's duel!
SY: Let's get it on!
Zhuge Liang lowers his weapons, so does Sima Yi
SY: What's the matter Zhuge Liang? To scared?
ZL: No, it's just…I'm…I'm so sorry, we cannot fight
SY: Why! We were destined to!
A short pause
SY: You are right…we cannot fight…
Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi start to cry
ZL: Oh Sima Yi…
SY: Oh Zhuge Liang. Come, come and give me a hug
Sima Yi and Zhuge Liang hug
Ling Tong is in the middle of a battle
LT: Take that! And that!
Ling Tong bumps into someone
LT: Gan Ning!
GN: Ling Tong!
LT: What are YOU doing here!
GN: Fighting! What are you doing here?
LT: Fighting. I'd better kill you; it'll make Sun Ce happy!
GN: WHAT? You're on Sun Ce's side?
LT: Yeah, I am
GN: That…that means that we are allies!
LT: NOOOOOOOOOO!
GN: Fuck yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!
Guan Yu and Guan Ping are preparing for battle
GP: Father, when this battle is over will you please teach me to play Go?
GY: Guan Ping! Don't be so disgusting! Get Xing Cai or Liu Chan to teach you!
GP: OK, I was only asking…
GY: I am your father and anyway, I'm too old for that crap
Zhang He and Zhen Ji are talking
ZH: Zhen Ji, I'm just popping to the loo
ZJ: OK
Zhang He goes to the toilet, Zhen Ji follows a few seconds later
Zhen Ji sees Zhang He standing up
ZJ: Zhang He! I…I thought that you was a woman!
ZH: I would say it's not what it looks like but it is what it looks like!
ZJ: Well, you could have told me!
ZH: I'm a cross-dresser, what could I say
Zhang Liao and Zhang He are getting close
ZL: Zhang He, I love you
ZH: Really? I love you too
Zhang He and Zhang Liao snog, Zhen Ji sees
ZJ: Zhang He, I didn't know that you were gay!
ZL: WHAT! Are you a man?
ZH: Why of course I am, can't you tell?
ZL: NO! Bye I'll see you later
ZL walks away
ZJ: Nasty shock
ZH: Yes
Zuo Ci goes to visit someone
ZC: Liu Bei, yo-
CC: I'm not Liu Bei, I'm Cao Cao
ZC: Oh shit, sorry
CC: Bye
Zhou Yu and Sun Ce are practicing their archery
SC: It's that Meng Huo
ZY: OK let's shoot
Sun Ce and Zhou Yu shoot their arrows
SC: Bulls eye!
ZY: Yes, well done Sun Ce!
MH: Ouch, my balls!
A/N: Well that's all. Please review and I hope you enjoyed it!
