Content Advisory: Bullying, Prejudice (towards fictional group— "Animals")
✉ Chapter Seven: Demotion Commotion ✉
Dear Fae,
If it means getting to write to you, I'll accept your terms. It may be difficult though; my curiosity is already out of control.
Elphaba knew what Yero meant. She kept getting short pangs of thrill each time she thought somebody may be Yero, though finding college aged men on a college campus was hardly a rare occurrence. Luckily, Elphaba's roommate had stepped in to provide a strong distraction. Galinda would not leave her alone. She'd pop up outside of classrooms, the dining hall, the library, their room and ask—no—beg Elphaba to talk to Madame Morrible about letting her in sorcery seminar.
"Please, Elphaba?" Galinda chanted one afternoon. Her ringlets dusted the floor as she hung upside down off the side of her bed. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?"
"Why do you even want to be in the sorcery seminar so bad?" Elphaba snapped, slamming her book shut. "I figured your life's ambition would be something silly like marrying a prince."
"Wow. That's pretty presumptuous!" Galinda sat upright. "I'd have thought you of all people would know not to judge a book by its cover."
Elphaba cleared her throat awkwardly. "Point made."
"Besides…" Galinda hinted, leaning forward with a few excited bounces. "I'm already going to marry a prince!"
She clapped her hands over her mouth and squealed so loud that Elphaba jumped.
"Wait—you're engaged?"
"Oh no, not yet. We've only begun dating, but he's perfect and I'm perfect so it only makes sense. Get a good look, Elphaba, because one day the girl in this room is gonna be Mrs. Tigelaar," Galinda wiggled her ring finger. "Or Mrs. Upland-Tigelaar. I haven't decided yet."
"No!" Elphaba groaned in recognition. "Tigelaar?"
"Yes! Oh, yes," Galinda sighed dreamily. "Prince Fiyero Tigelaar."
"Hold on. What did you say?"
"Prince Tigelaar."
"No, his first name."
"Fiyero," Galinda repeated. "Why?"
"No reason," Elphaba gave her head a small shake. "I misheard you. That's all."
The unexpected likeness between Fiyero and Yero's names caught Elphaba by surprise. For a moment she feared that Galinda had found out about her correspondent. However, once the shock wore off, the coincidence amused her. After all, no one would be unoriginal enough to choose an alias so close to their given name.
"Well, seeing as you're both pains in my side I'm sure you'll be very happy together."
"You're such a terror!" Galinda whined. "You're lucky I even talk to you, you know."
"Feel free to stop at any time."
Dear Yero,
I've been at Shiz for two months. Here are my stats in case you're keeping track at home! The person I'm closest to won't talk to me, my roommate won't stop bugging me, and I have made zero friends. On the bright side, my grades are way up. How are you?
On the subject of grades, Elphaba found herself knocking on Doctor Dillamond's office door one afternoon to discuss a recent assignment.
"Professor I—" Elphaba began as she entered, but stopped short to see Amalia, Madame Morrible's housekeeper, in Dillamond's office. "Pardon me, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll go."
"No, Miss Elphaba. It's quite alright," Doctor Dillamond glumly waved her in. "Miss Amalia and I were just discussing a…recent development."
"Dillamond, is it wise to—" Amalia fretted in a breathy voice. Doctor Dillamond calmly held a hoof up to pacify her.
"I have good reason to trust Miss Elphaba with this information," he explained. He adjusted his glasses and peered over at his top student. "I have just been informed that I've been demoted. My status as Dean of History has been stripped."
Elphaba gasped and looked between the two of them in shock.
"But why? You're easily the most qualified! There has to be a mistake."
"There is no mistake," Amalia mumbled, anxiously clicking her long claws together. "It is all quite deliberate."
"I was not always the only Animal on faculty, you know. There used to be many of us. However, slowly but surely, the untenured professors started getting let go for one vague reason or another. Then, the tenured ones began to step down under suspicious circumstances. Even Amalia here used to be a frequent guest lecturer for her contributions in social work. She was removed and offered her current position as housekeeper out of…kindness."
"This is concerning indeed, Professor," Elphaba wrung her hands apprehensively. "Have you spoken to Madame Morrible about this?"
Amalia let out a snort before quickly covering her mouth, her eyes wide over her involuntary sound. Dillamond gave Elphaba a kindly patient look.
"Unfortunately, I fear these decrees are being enforced on higher levels than the University itself. These troubles are not limited to Shiz."
"Well, I for one am outraged that you were demoted, sir! I'm certain that if we get enough students to stand behind you then we can make a change," Elphaba insisted.
Doctor Dillamond granted her a world-weary smile and stood from behind his desk. "Your tenacity will take you far in life, Miss Elphaba. Hear this, there are many things that we may never change…but that doesn't mean that we do not try."
Elphaba soaked in her professor's words with an impassioned nod.
"I'll do more than try, Professor. I'll make it right!" Elphaba declared confidently. She marched towards the door to leave before sharply turning on her heel. "Oh, I nearly forgot. About my assignment?"
"A perfect score as usual, Miss Elphaba."
"Thank you, sir."
Boldly spurred to action, Elphaba exited Doctor Dillamond's office on a mission.
"LET ME JOIN THE SORCERY SEMINAR!"
"Ah!" Elphaba, startled, whipped around to face her roommate. "Stop doing that!"
Galinda thrust a travel cup of coffee into Elphaba's hand and began to follow her. "I didn't add any cream and sugar because I figured you liked your coffee to taste disgusting. Now let me join the sorcery seminar!"
"No!" Elphaba scowled. She charged forward and sipped her coffee. Galinda had been right in her assumption.
"Please please please please please—"
"Galinda!" Elphaba sighed. "There are more serious things on my mind! I have to devise a protest and I won't have you distracting me."
Galinda, whose legs were far shorter than Elphaba's, was unable to keep up with her strides and finally fell behind.
"You're welcome!" she wheezed after her.
Dear Fae,
We must be total opposites. I fit in as usual, but it feels like it did at other schools. New school, old routine. It's easy for me to talk to people but I don't talk to them like I can talk to you. I guess we don't really 'talk', but you know what I mean. Also, I don't know how you're keeping up with these classes. Obviously you're really smart, but still. The professors always talk too fast or too slow. I'm either struggling to keep up or trying to stay awake! I just hope that things change for the better. For both of us.
Elphaba had not forgotten her conversation with Doctor Dillamond, nor would she accept it. Shiz was a place where people came to make change and damn it—she was going to make a change! She set up a table advertising a petition to restore Doctor Dillamond's status as dean outside a high traffic area in the quad. Regardless of what people thought of her, they would surely still partake in the name of justice.
Or so she thought. Elphaba had been sitting at the table for an hour and not one person had approached. That is, until—
"Some protest!"
Galinda Upland stood before her table wearing a skirt, power ponytail, and a white shirt with the word 'Justice' on it. Elphaba smacked her head down on the table, bracing herself for whatever fresh hell her roommate had in store for her.
"Hello, Galinda," she sighed, not lifting her head.
"This is all you planned?! Where's your banners, your signs?!" Galinda prodded. She put a megaphone up to Elphaba's ear. "Earth to Elphaba!"
Elphaba jolted and nearly fell out of her chair at the sudden sound.
"I brought a megaphone," Galinda giggled, holding it back up to her lips. "Laaaa laaaaaa! Laaaa-a-a laaaaaaaa!"
Elphaba jerked the megaphone down. "I can see that."
"Ugh. Rude."
"Galinda, I don't have time for your games," Elphaba adjusted her beanie in agitation. "This is a matter that really—well, matters to me!"
"Which is why you should be glad I'm here! How many signatures do you have?"
"Um…one…" Elphaba mumbled. Her own. "Unless of course you count The Unnamed God, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and 'your mom'."
Galinda tutted disapprovingly. "You're going about this all wrong. Answer me this. How do you get people to sign a petition?"
"By having a cause that's important and—"
"Wrooooooooong! By adding some 'WOW' factor! Some razzle dazzle. Get this through your head: it's all about popular. That's where I come in—scooch over," Galinda demanded, grabbing a chair and pushing against Elphaba until she begrudgingly made space. "Listen up Elphaba because I'm gonna tell you the tragic truth. I need you and you need me. We could fight it or we could make a deal."
"What kind of deal?"
"I am so glad you asked. I'm gonna help you get one hundred signatures on this petition thingy and you're gonna convince Madame Morrible to let me join the sorcery seminar once and for all."
"A hundred?" Elphaba asked skeptically. Galinda pulled a pink pen out of her purse and signed her name with a fancy flourish.
"See? I've already doubled your signatures."
Elphaba, despite herself, fought off a smile.
"Do we have a deal?" Galinda offered her hand.
"No handkerchief this time?" Elphaba raised a brow.
"No…" Galinda shook her head with a faint trace of guilt. "I'm good."
Elphaba, certain she was making a huge mistake, reached out and shook Galinda's hand. Galinda immediately grabbed the megaphone, jumped up, and began doing what she did best. Commanding attention.
"ATTENTION FRIENDS! Come out, come out, wherever you are! There is a huge injustice happening on this campus. Come sign this here petition to protest—" Galinda lowered the megaphone to sidebar with Elphaba. "What's this for again?"
"Doctor Dillamond getting demoted."
"Doctor Dillamond getting demoted! Say it with me now! Don't demote Dillamond! Don't demote Dillamond! Don't demote Dillamond!"
Elphaba's eyebrows shot up as the alliteration began to catch on. Students, clearly confused to see the girls working together, began to hesitantly chant along with Galinda. Galinda grabbed the clipboard and waved it in the air.
"That's it! Now, don't be shy. Come and sign!"
"I'll sign, Miss Galinda!" a short student, likely a Munchkin, scurried towards the table.
"Oh, Bick. Really? You would do that for me?" Galinda gasped.
"I would do anything for you, Miss Galinda," he said intensely. He signed the clipboard and eagerly tapped at it. "See? That's my name! Boq. Which is my name. Boq's my name."
"Thanks a million Bick. Say, aren't you in that little club thingy where you play that little game?" Galinda twirled her ponytail.
"Chess club? Uh—yes! Yes, I am," he puffed out his chest. "You remembered!"
"Would you do me a huge favor and ask them to come sign our little petition? After all, it is for a great cause."
"Of course, Miss Galinda!" Boq nodded before sprinting the other direction.
Galinda continued to pioneer the protest and the sheet started filling up with names. She'd come prepared with all sorts of nonsense. She played music, twirled about, and even attracted people in with a giant bubble wand. As impressed as Elphaba was with Galinda's results, she couldn't help but feel she was taking a backseat to her own cause.
"You are surprisingly good at this," Elphaba commented as Galinda plopped beside her for a break.
"Yes! Yes I am! But that's because I'm playing to my strengths. I'm popular, beautiful, and can effortlessly charm people—"
"Humble, too."
"You, Elphaba, are mean, scary, and make people super uncomfortable," Galinda explained brightly.
"Gee, thanks."
"Sooooooo…use it," Galinda encouraged.
Elphaba pursed her lips. Use it. She spotted a boy glance at the table and continue on his way without signing.
"Excuse me!" Elphaba shouted after him. He froze as she advanced him with the clipboard. "Don't think I didn't see you there. What? Too busy for social change? Huh? Huh?!"
"N—no! I'm not," he blurted out, scrambling to take the pen to sign with a shaky hand. "There, okay?!"
Elphaba turned towards Galinda in wonder as the boy ran off. "It worked!"
Galinda stood and cheered, racing to give Elphaba a high five. Elphaba, in a whirlwind, couldn't help but laugh. Two nearby girls snickered loudly and Elphaba turned her attention their way. One froze in place while her friend ducked into a nearby hedge to hide.
"Think something's funny?" Elphaba approached the one left standing.
"No—"
"While you're over there laughing a huge injustice is happening at this school, is that funny?! Well, is it?!
The girl tried to make a break for it but Elphaba blocked her path. "You want me to leave you alone? Sign the form."
She signed the form as her friend fearfully poked her head out over the bush. Elphaba locked eyes with her and wordlessly held out the clipboard. She signed it with a squeak, linked arms with her friend, and ran off.
"Fiyero dearest!" Galinda squealed from behind Elphaba.
Elphaba turned in time to see Galinda throw her arms around Fiyero and plant a kiss on his lips. Elphaba gagged and set the clipboard down on the table as the couple pulled out of their lip lock. A few passersby approached the table to sign as Elphaba, Galinda, and Fiyero stepped off to the side.
"Fiyero, this is my roommate Elphaba—"
"We've met," Fiyero and Elphaba grumbled in unison.
"Galinda, tell your boyfriend that he's an incredibly reckless driver," Elphaba said.
"Galinda, tell your roommate that for the last time I wasn't even driving," Fiyero said.
Elphaba heatedly crossed towards Fiyero and Galinda scampered behind the petition table to get out of the crossfire.
"Galinda, tell your boyfriend he still owes me an apology."
"Hey guys?" Galinda's voice cut in as she lifted the clipboard.
"Galinda, tell your roommate that she's annoying."
"Galinda, tell your boyfriend to shut up."
"Galinda—"
"Hey!" Galinda shouted over the pair who were standing nose to nose.
"What?!" they blurted out in unison, their heads snapping towards Galinda.
"I…I think you should see this…"
Galinda solemnly handed the clipboard over and Elphaba's stomach dropped. Scratched deep into the page in red ink over the signatures read the phrase: ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.
"Did you see who…?" Elphaba began to ask. Galinda shook her head. Elphaba observed the quad where people continued to stroll by as normal.
"Who did this?!" she called out hoarsely. "Who wrote this?!"
No answer.
"HEY!" Galinda screamed into her megaphone, stepping up to stand on her chair. "Who did this?!"
"Ask the artichoke!" someone called out. Scattered laughter ebbed over the crowd as others called to appeal to Galinda.
"Come on Galinda!" "What's with you today?" "Forget the freak!"
Galinda hesitated for a moment and slowly lowered her megaphone. She turned her head towards Elphaba whose face grew stony. Elphaba scoffed, pressed the clipboard to her chest, and slowly turned to leave.
"No!" Galinda stamped her foot on her chair. Elphaba paused and turned. "Listen up, everybody! Her name isn't 'the artichoke'! It's Elphaba. Her name is Elphaba and she's rude and weird and I like her! She's my friend, alright?! Elphaba is my friend!"
Elphaba stilled and lifted her eyes to meet Galinda's in disbelief. Galinda reassured her with a nod and a private, genuine smile that Elphaba couldn't help but return. Further encouraged by their silent exchange, Galinda fiercely lifted the megaphone back up to her lips to defend her newest friend.
"So everyone quit being so gosh darn mean!"
"What is the meaning of all of this?!"
Madame Morrible entered the square which students took as their cue to scatter, Fiyero included. He offered Galinda his hand to help her down, kissed her cheek, and ran.
"Madame Morrible! We were just—" Elphaba began.
"Taking a stand!" Galinda thrust her fist in the air.
"It seems to me that you're participating in an unlawful demonstration," Morrible said.
"Unlawful? Madame—"
Morrible took the clipboard out of Elphaba's hands and clicked her tongue disapprovingly as she read it.
"Miss Elphaba, I'm surprised at you. While people of course have the right to protest, you must still obtain a permit from the University prior to any demonstration."
"But Madame—"
Madame Morrible held a finger up and wagged it back and forth.
"Furthermore, Miss Elphaba! I'm sure you can appreciate the difficult position this puts me in. It is hard not to see this demonstration as a direct rebellion against the university! I'd have thought that you had a higher sense of pride in your school…but perhaps I've misjudged you. If such disobedience were to continue, well, I'd hate to see how it may jeopardize your ambition to meet The Wizard—"
"It won't, Madame," Elphaba said quickly. "I only thought that—that Doctor Dillamond—"
"That unfortunate situation is currently being handled with the utmost care. You needn't concern yourself with such things," Morrible mollified Elphaba with a gentle pat to the shoulder. "Worry not, Miss Elphaba. There shall be no penalty this time. Merely put the demonstration to rest and all will be as it was before."
Madame Morrible turned and began to stroll away with the clipboard in tow without so much as a nod to Galinda. Elphaba spared a glance towards her deflated roommate before bounding a few steps towards their Headmistress.
"You're wrong, Madame!"
Madame Morrible turned. "I beg your pardon?"
"You're wrong. You see, I've read the Shiz University student handbook cover to cover. I've known it like the back of my hand since before I even knew I'd attend. Section Eight Sub Section Four Paragraph A states clearly that any person or Animal maintains the right to protest peacefully on school grounds so long as such demonstrations do not cause harm to others or school property including but not limited to vandalism, violence, and weapon use. Neither permission nor permits are required nor do school officials hold the right to interfere with the protest in any way," Elphaba recited. "Madame."
Madame Morrible said nothing as Elphaba chanced a few steps towards her.
"However, I will accept your terms on one condition," Elphaba stated. "I will call off the demonstration…if you admit Miss Galinda Upland into the sorcery seminar."
Galinda gasped from behind her but Elphaba did not react, still eyeing Morrible for her reaction. Elphaba raised her eyebrows and slowly held her hand out for the clipboard.
"Very well," Morrible's face stretched into a smile as she placed the clipboard in Elphaba's waiting hands. "I shall be seeing you both…Monday morning."
Madame Morrible calmly turned on her heel and left without another word. Elphaba watched her go until she was nearly bowled over in a sudden, bone-crushing hug.
"Oh, Elphie! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!" Galinda chanted as she squished Elphaba back and forth. "Oh—Elphie! Is it okay if I call you Elphie?"
"It's a little perky," Elphaba admitted, a flustered laugh escaping her as Galinda released her. "But…sure."
That night, after Galinda chatted herself into oblivion and finally wore herself out, Elphaba took to her stationery and pen. She felt a bubble-like feeling inflate in her chest as she relayed her astonishing news to Yero.
Dear Yero,
I made a friend.
