I Don't Want to Turn into a Girl!

Warning! There are guys that are prettier than Sakura.

Dedicated to my friend Crimson Skies for showing me the site that holds my inspiration for this chapter, and Carrot6 for being such an awesome reviewer.

Chapter four: In Which Naruto Understands

What is seen in the anime and manga as to how Sasuke confronts his brother is what happens in Kishimoto-sensei's wonderful manga and anime series called Naruto. In my story "I Don't Wanna Turn Into a Girl" that scene happens differently. Some of my story is similar to Kishimoto-sensei's Naruto series.

It started because, as most of us know, Itachi-sama and Kisame-san were seeking out Naruto. Most of us know that the two Akatsuki members wanted something of the kyuubi sealed inside of Naruto. What they had planned to do once they had gotten Naruto… um… well that isn't the current focus.

Once Sasuke had found out that he had missed his chance to confront his technically denounced brother while said denounced brother, and companion, where in Kanoha, Sasuke was more furious than I have ever been. When Sasuke found out that Naruto was in danger of his no longer his older brother, and companion, doing what he imagined to be unspeakable things to his trusted comrade. Actually he imagined a lot of nothing that happened to have a lot of evil connotations. He didn't know why in the nine hells his… something that isn't related to him older brother, and companion, would want with his something that is remarkably like a friend, but he knew that is was something that has a nefarious reason behind it. After all, the unspeakable person did manage to kill his own family, and clan, without any feeling. And who knows what knows what kind of un-nice things that the unmentionable person's comrade is capable of. To be that close to Itachi though, it just means it has to be something illegal somewhere, or many somewheres even!

So… Sasuke rushed to meet up with them. Naruto is a trusted comrade; therefore it was his self-given responsibility to help keep said comrade safe. His bro… someone that isn't related to him is an issue that is layered, important only in the concept of killing, and a task that has been long ignored (when Sasuke rarely deemed to do something that took his mind off of his normal angst time as all other time was spent in preparation for this moment).

Sasuke ran and rushed and thankfully got there before his brother. Sasuke slammed the hotel room open… only to find that he had found the wrong people, wrong room, and wrong hotel. –Cough- Let's just forget this little slight and try this over again.

He rushed up the many flights of stairs (the elevator wasn't broken, it's just more dramatic this way). As he finally reach the third floor hallway Itachi was knocking on Naruto's door. Naruto did his cute confused head tilt and asked, "Sasuke?" He looked like he was trying to ask, "How did Sasuke get so tall so fast?"

"Hello Naruto-kun," Itachi said politely.

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled from where he was still trying to catch his breath. What? Running from Kanoha to the wrong hotel and then up three sets of stairs will do that to a person.

"Ah, brother I haven't seen you for so long. You have gotten taller," Itachi said quite congenially.

"You lied to me!" Sasuke nearly yelled.

"What do you mean? You have gotten taller," Itachi asked confused. Kisame was confused as well, except his confusion was for a different reason.

"You have a brother, Itachi?" Kisame asked somewhat hurt that he didn't know this earlier.

"Yep, I didn't think I would see him so soon," Itachi said. He was bordering on sparkling. Not the sparkling that Lee and Gai do. No, it was closer to the shoujo-I'm-in supposed-love sparkles kind of sparkling. Kisame rolled his eyes as he was already used to such behavior from Itachi.

"Aniki, you lied to me," Sasuke said almost pouting at being ignored. Some habits are ingrained.

"What did I lie about?" Itachi asked.

"You said, 'It is impossible for any boy to turn into a girl.' You were wrong," Sasuke said.

"What do you mean? It is impossible for any boy, or man, to turn into a female," Itachi said perplexed.

"Naruto, show my brother that jutsu," Sasuke said.

"Brother… That's a boy?" Naruto asked pointing to Itachi.

"Yes," Itachi, Sasuke, and Kisame all said simultaneously.

"But… He's so pretty," Naruto said.

"Thank you!" Itachi said sparkling. Kisame rolled his eyes. Deciding that this was going to take a while, Kisame leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Sasuke looked at his brother closely and decided Naruto had a point: his brother could pass for a sister. Sasuke made a note to himself to never grow his hair out.

Trying to get back to the point of his accusation, Sasuke said, "Naruto show Itachi that jutsu."

"Um… What jutsu," Naruto asked. He was glad for a distraction from thoughts of guys who are prettier than Sakura-chan.

"You know, the one that you're famous for," Sasuke said exasperated. He didn't want to say the name of the jutsu… It would be embarrassing!

"Kage buunshin no jutsu?" Naruto asked. What would be the point in replicating himself right now?

"No! The one that you taught me!" Sasuke nearly yelled in frustration. Really, why, when it really mattered, does nothing go the way he'd like it to. It's like something out there is laughing at him.

"Oh! Sexy no jutsu," Naruto exclaimed happy that he most likely had got it right this time.

"Yes, Show my brother that jutsu," Sasuke said.

"Why?" Naruto asked. He didn't see the point.

"To prove him wrong. Don't ask how it would. Please just show him the jutsu. Just show him the jutsu, please," Sasuke pleaded. Some days… Some days…

After a little complaining and grumbling for a little while, Naruto performed the jutsu.

Once Naruto's girl form showed up, Sasuke pointed at the boy turned girl and said, "See, you lied."

Itachi looked stunned, not only because he was wrong, but also because he was wrong about something that he previously thought was biologically impossible. After Itachi regained his sensed, he performed kai. "Not a genjustu," Itachi mumbled. Then Itachi proceeded to poke Naruto in various places. Meanwhile Kisame had passed out due to blood loss from a nosebleed.

"Does poking me in this form run in the Uchiha blood or is it just a pervert thing?" Naruto exclaimed feeling thoroughly creeped out and outraged. "First Sasuke-teme, then Ero-sennin, and now girly-Itachi and I had thought all guys were weak to this jutsu," Naruto ranted.

"What do you mean?" Itachi asked.

"I beat the old-man hokage with this jutsu," Naruto said quite proud of himself. The stance he took while saying that, looked strange on the nude girl figure Naruto was still in.

"Ah, I see. Naruto-kun, your jutsu doesn't work on me because I don't like girls that way. Your Ero-sennin is probably Jiraiya-sama," Itachi paused and then continued after seeing Naruto's nod in confirmation, "Jiraiya-sama is a famous super pervert, so that is why your justu isn't as effective on him. As for my dear little brother, he either hasn't hit puberty yet… Or he is more like me than I originally thought. That is a good jutsu Naruto-kun. Can you teach it to me?"

"Wait a minute! Hello! Remember the whole point of him doing that jutsu to begin with was to show how you lied to me," Sasuke said. It is now official, today just isn't his day, at all.

"Oh, I guess I was wrong," Itachi said nonchalantly. Naruto went back to his normal self as Kisame started stirring. Naruto figured that it wouldn't be good to make the only normal guy around here pass out, that and he was starting to get cold anyway.

"Is that all you're going to say?" Sasuke asked incredulously. There should have been more said, like… He didn't know right now, but Itachi should have said something more than that.

"Yes, it's not like this proved to be something life changing. Oh, Naruto-kun can you please teach me that justu?" Itachi said with the last part being asked sweetly.

That was it. First his brother was wrong, then his brother didn't say anything to make things better, and now he is pestering Naruto. Why that last one bothered him, Sasuke wasn't sure, but it bothered him just the same. This will not do.

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled. He wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, but it's going to be bad.

"Sasuke-kun I don't have time for you right now, could you wait a while?" Itachi said before going back to pleading Naruto to teach him sexy-no-jutsu.

And that sentence was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It was then that Sasuke remembered his life's calling and the reason for broody nature. With a yell of "I will kill you Itachi!" Sasuke charged at Itachi.

I am certain that you all know how this ends, but Sasuke really should have known better. He did say that today just wasn't his day. Oh, and if you don't know how it ends, I suggest reading all about it at The fan translations are so much better, in my opinion, than the stuff in the stores. Anyway, let us get back to the story.

Naruto was so busy between learning a new jutsu and helping Ero-sennin to convince Tsunade baa-chan to become the Godaime that he didn't really think about the conversation that had ended with Sasuke in a coma. Now that both Thick-brows and Sasuke are now going to be alright, Naruto was able to give serious thought to that conversation to see if he could make it any less confusing. After several days of picking apart what happened and what was said, Naruto found himself with question that he was in dire need of getting answers for. That is what started Naruto's quest for answers.

He wondered if there are people who are of a transgendered nature. Sasuke was evidently upset at Itachi because boys can turn into girls… or something like that. Is that why Sasuke had him teach him sexy-no-jutsu? Why Itachi wanted to learn it? How much of a girl does he turn into when he uses sexy-no-jutsu?

After some… (cough) …experimentation, Naruto wondered if that counted as masturbation or… um… never mind!

So now the question Naruto is left with is: What makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl? Haku and Itachi both looked prettier than any girl he had ever seen, and Sasuke keeps looking prettier every day. Sakura and Tsunade-baba, as well as several other "girls", can hit as good as any boy and some cases, they can hit better than most guys. So, really, what makes a girl a girl and a boy a boy?

Therefore, armed with that crucial question, Naruto asked Sakura if she was really a girl. And promptly he was beat up. As there was only one other "female" that he knew well enough to be comfortable enough to ask such a question to, Naruto went to visit Tsunade.

"Baa-chan, are you really a girl?" Naruto asked.

At first Tsunade was going to hit Naruto and yell at him for asking such a stupid question, but he was so serious looking that instead she asked, "What do you mean by that?"

After Naruto explained his plight, Tsunade-hime decided that Naruto needed a lecture on "the birds and the bees" before Jiraiya or some other pervert, Kakashi, found out his lack of sexual education. No Naruto is such a sweet boy that he doesn't need those two setting him on the wrong path.

One detailed, three-hour-long lecture type explanation on the differences between males and females and how babies are made later, Naruto numbly left the Hokage tower. He blindly walked into the center of the town and stopped there to do some very effective staring at nothing. So traumatize was Naruto that he stayed there for there, staring at nothing and lost in oblivion, for the rest of the day. That is how Sasuke found Naruto on his way home from training.

Seeing Naruto like that worried Sasuke. Sasuke waved his hand in front of Naruto's face several times. When that didn't work, Sasuke poked him a couple of times. When that brought about no result also, Sasuke said "Dobe, why are you standing around like a general idiot?" When that brought no results, Sasuke started to panic. So Sasuke, in his mild panic, decided to shake Naruto and shout his name.

Responding to hearing his name, Naruto said, "Hn, Sasuke?" Naruto looked around and noticed where he was and that the sun was setting and asked, "What are you doing here? And what time is it."

"It's six in the evening and I'm on my way home," Sasuke answered and then asked, "What's wrong?"

Naruto thought for a few seconds and then wailed, "I don't wanna turn into a girl!"

Sasuke put a consolatory hand on Naruto's shoulder and empathetically said, "I know how you feel."

"Really?" Naruto asked with hope shining bright in his eyes as he looked at Sasuke.

"Yes, really, I do. Come on, you can stay the night at my house. And on our next day off, I'll show you what I do to cope," Sasuke said solemnly.

Naruto hugged Sasuke and said, "Thank you so much. I knew that there was a good reason why you're my best friend."

Sasuke just hugged Naruto back glad to have genuine human contact with a trusted individual. When they let go of the hug, Sasuke said, "Sure, it's no problem. People like us have to stick together." Whether he meant it was people who understood the fear of being trasgendered or something else, Sasuke didn't know. It didn't matter anyway because Naruto seemed to instinctively know what Sasuke meant, which made him feel warmly peaceful. With a rare genuine smile, Sasuke said, "Come on, let's go now." And so they left.

--------------------------------

Hello everyone. I apologize that it took so long to get this out. Thank you, all of you, for being so patient. Anyway I got a huge amount of inspiration, originally, from an awesome artist that goes by the name Sora-ko. You should check her out sometime. She has a way of pulling off good jokes. You can find the fan comics that inspired the hallway scene at: & I almost added something else for Itachi's answer to Naruto's question of why sexy-no-jutsu didn't defeat Itachi, but I was already scamming so much from Sora-ko that I decided not to. Thank you every one who reviewed, it really kept me intent on putting this on the computer. That and Crimsonskies was looking like she might hurt me if I didn't. I have one, maybe two depending on my muses but I doubt it, chapters to go for this story. I am glad that so many of you like my story.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto