Content Advisory: Bullying, Smoking, Mild Suggestive Content, Self-deprecating thoughts


Chapter Thirteen: Hat Trick

Why did she care, anyway?

Galinda went to the OzDust ahead of her, leaving Elphaba alone to scrutinize her reflection more than usual. She tugged at her neutral frock, checked her teeth, and ran her fingers through the tangles at the end of her long, loose hair. She wasn't about to attempt makeup for the first time, that would end in disaster, and she didn't own any jewelry. Perhaps the hat would suffice.

Elphaba had never seen a hat like the one Galinda gave her. It seemed a bold look, but Elphaba had never kept up with what was trendy. She considered leaving it behind, but Galinda had made such a point to give it to her. Elphaba would need a friend after tonight's certain disappointment, and the vow she'd made to come clean to Galinda by tomorrow was one of the only reasons she had enough courage to go through with this at all.

Elphaba frowned at herself in the mirror, her hands smoothing over the dress that covered her skinny frame. She was all edges, sharp and jagged. She had no soft curves or feminine warmth to her. She closed her eyes and her skin heated as she relived a letter of Yero's in her mind's eye. It was cruel to accept that she was desirable to someone in spirit, but not in body.

So why did she care about how she looked?

She opened her eyes and averted her gaze from the mirror, weary of the view. She stepped over to her desk and opened the bottom drawer of her desk. Inside was her stockpile of Yero's letters, each one systematically sorted by date and strung neatly together with twine. She picked up the substantial bundle and held it in her hands.

She cared because he would be there.

Elphaba asked herself if she regretted signing up for The Ozian Pen Pal Program and she decided that she wasn't. Yero was special to her, and regardless of the punishing end that awaited them, she couldn't manage to regret growing to know him. She couldn't manage to regret letting him, letting anyone,know her.

Elphaba repeated that affirmation in her mind as she made the solo trek towards the OzDust.

Music and voices could be heard down the stairs as Elphaba entered the foyer of the hall. Galinda had asked Elphaba to seek her out upon arriving. It provided Elphaba a modicum of comfort to know that she'd see her friend before facing her fate.

Elphaba glanced at the huge geared clock on the wall and watched its foreboding pendulum swing side to side. That's where it would happen. That's where it would end. She shook her head and squared her shoulders towards the short hallway which opened up into the upper landing of a staircase descending into the ballroom. She took a breath, pulled the pointy hat onto her head, and walked into the OzDust.

The flashing lights of the ballroom disoriented her as she came into view, so Elphaba heard the reactions before she saw them. A symphony of gasps, shouts, and uproarious laughter ripped through the hall over the music. When Elphaba's vision recovered it focused in on a room packed with sneering partygoers.

"What is that?!" "Ew!"

Elphaba's mouth went dry and she descended the steps amidst jeers and points. A few revelers shrieked and darted further away. She knew that she wasn't usually one to attend gatherings, she knew that people didn't like her, but even so their ridicule seemed particularly over the top. Elphaba's eyes searched the crowd for Galinda, the only friendly face she could hope to find at present.

"What a joke!" "It's hideoteous." "What is that on her head?!"

Elphaba was at the bottom of the staircase by the time she grasped the meaning behind their monstrous jabs. They weren't teasing her dress, her hair, or even, for once, her skin. No. It seemed that the source of their entertainment, the source of their mirth was…

The hat.

The moment it clicked, Elphaba spotted Galinda standing across the way from her. Her arms were crossed, her chin lifted, and across her face was a satisfied smirk. She lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers at Elphaba in a nasty little wave. Elphaba didn't wait to process her senses before she felt her body charging towards her roommate in a blind rage. She tore the hat off of her head and hurled it to the ground at Galinda's feet.

"You tricked me!" Elphaba snarled, her chest burning with betrayal. "You knew this hat was a joke, didn't you?!"

"Wow, Elphie. I knew you were smart but that is some high-level deducing," Galinda responded mockingly.

"Why? Why would you set me up like this!?" Elphaba shouted. "How could you do this to me!?"

"How could I do this to you?" Galinda blurted out incredulously. "Are you kidding me?!"

By now the crowd had quieted to eavesdrop on the fight, save for the occasionally hushed commentary from a nosy spectator.

"How long have you been planning this?" Elphaba asked, lowering her voice to a menacing timbre. "A week? A month? Since we met?!"

"I planned it as soon as I found out!"

"Found out what?!" Elphaba cried out in frustration. Galinda picked up the hat and roughly tossed it back to Elphaba who caught it.

"Here take this. It suits you," Galinda said cattily.

Galinda stormed past Elphaba and childishly bumped against her shoulder as she dashed up the steps.

"Galinda!" Elphaba yelled after her. "Don't you walk away from me!"

Galinda stormed into the foyer and Elphaba followed closely behind. They were momentarily disarmed to see Fiyero leaning against the entrance door. He coughed and quickly snuffed out a cigarette against a trash can lid before tossing away the evidence.

"Ha! I should have known you'd be here," Galinda accused Fiyero.

"What are you two doing here?" Fiyero asked nervously.

Fiyero was pale and had a jumpy air about him as if he'd been caught doing something more than smoking. Elphaba ignored him and turned Galinda around to face her.

"Galinda, what has gotten into you? We're supposed to be friends!" she reminded her. "Was everything…a lie?"

Elphaba's voice wobbled to ask it. Galinda's lip quivered to hear it.

"That's right, we are supposed to be friends, and friends don't stab each other in the back!" Galinda returned.

"Hey, uh—not to be rude but can you two take this somewhere else?" Fiyero requested awkwardly.

He crossed to stand beside Elphaba, his eyes anxiously darting between the girls and the clock on the wall.

"We're kind of in the middle of something!" Elphaba bit back.

"No—Fiyero. I'm glad you're here. This concerns you both!" Galinda declared, backing up to put distance between herself and Elphaba and Fiyero. "I know, Fiyero. I know what you two did!"

"What are you talking about!?" Elphaba and Fiyero asked in unison.

"I KNOW ABOUT YOUR LETTERS!"

The gears above Elphaba and Fiyero's heads suddenly rotated as chimes reverberated through the foyer to strike eight o'clock. The significance of the time washed over Elphaba and a frightened gasp escaped her as she looked towards the door.

But nobody arrived.

It was only her, only Galinda. It was only…

Fiyero.

It was…Fiyero.

Elphaba's head slowly turned towards Fiyero and her knees nearly buckled to see him looking as stunned as she felt. Just like the clock, the gears in their heads began turning as they at last looked upon the face of who they'd been corresponding with for months. Astounded into muteness, they froze and did not break eye contact, as if their consequences wouldn't catch up with them so long as they kept very still…and very quiet.

"See? I knew it," Galinda said after the eighth bell chimed. She unclasped her purse and pulled out the crumpled letter she'd stolen, smoothing it out before holding it up as evidence. "I found this in your drawer, Fiyero. I found all of them! All of those letters to you signed as–"

"You?" Fiyero jumped in faintly, unable to look away from Elphaba. "You…you're…"

Elphaba couldn't answer. Her hands apprehensively wrung the hat in her hands as her eyes, unwilling transfixed upon Fiyero's, pleaded for mercy.

"All this time," Galinda shook her head. "The two of you. Behind my back."

"Galinda…" Elphaba said in a choked voice, finally tearing her gaze away from Fiyero to address her roommate. "No. It wasn't like that."

"Well, it was," Fiyero amended guiltily. Galinda visibly fumed and Elphaba gaped at him. "Uh—but it wasn't."

"I'm moving in with ShenShen. I hope you two are very happy together because I'm finished with the both of you!"

Galinda began to sniffle, her callous front dropping to reveal the hurt underneath. She turned on her heel and exited the foyer into the night with a stifled sob.

"Galinda, wait!" Elphaba called and followed after her.

Elphaba pushed the doors open and a blast of chill blew into her face as she ran out into the night only to glimpse Galinda disappearing far ahead, running at impressive speeds for someone in heels. Elphaba's shoulders sagged and she took a few defeated steps forward, knowing it was fruitless to try and catch up with her now.

With a fitful sigh Elphaba turned back towards the OzDust only to see Fiyero standing at the entryway, sizing her up with a hard to read expression. Elphaba suddenly felt very exposed and she crossed her arms around herself, goosebumps pricking at her bare arms. She met his eyes with a spirit of defensiveness, silently daring him to speak first. Somebody had to speak first.

"I didn't know," Fiyero finally breathed.

"Neither did I," Elphaba replied simply.

"So…you're—" Fiyero began, but the word got stuck in his throat.

"Fae," Elphaba confirmed quietly. It sounded like an apology. "And you're Yero."

"Yes."

"Ah."

Elphaba looked down at her feet. Her hands wrung at the hat more as she calculated her next move, but when she cast her eyes upwards and saw Fiyero walking towards her she realized she'd have to make a swift choice. Flight or—

"Why did you choose Yero as your pen name?!" Elphaba blurted out.

Fiyero, taken aback by her tone, stopped in his tracks. He made a short, defensive sound and shrugged.

"I'm not creative."

"But it was your idea to come up with fake names!"

"You never figured it out, did you?"

"Only because I never expected someone to pick a pen name that was nearly identical to their given name!"

Fiyero scoffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. Silence fell again which was unacceptable. There was far too much being said in the silences. To make it through this, they had to keep talking.

"What is that anyway?" Fiyero asked, nodding towards the hat in Elphaba's hands.

"What is what?"

"Is that a hat?"

"Yes, it's a hat. Galinda gave it to me to set me up for humiliation," Elphaba said bitterly. She shoved the hat onto her head and threw her arms out to present herself in all of her freakish glory. "All because somebody didn't hide their letters very well."

"How is this my fault?!" Fiyero protested.

"She thinks we've been having some kind of affair!"

"Well…" Fiyero exhaled heavily. "In a way…"

Elphaba gave him a sharp look. "No, not 'in a way'! Besides, I'm not the one who was writing that way when I was in a relationship."

"You wrote back."

"Not the same thing."

Elphaba sighed and rubbed her eyes wearily. What was going on here? They were bickering just as they always had, as if they had not been hit with the bombshells of all bombshells.

"Merciful Oz, I cannot believe this is happening!" Elphaba shook her head. "I knew that this night would be a disaster but even my wildest dreamings couldn't have foreseen this!"

"Ouch."

"You can't stand there and tell me that this is what you were expecting out of tonight."

"Well…" Fiyero faltered. Elphaba raised her eyebrows at him expectantly. "Okay, not exactly. But—"

"Precisely. Admit it. I was the last person in Oz you expected to meet under that clock tonight. Admit that I was the last person you wanted to see!"

"Well, Elphaba, you don't seem much happier to see me!" Fiyero pointed out irritably. "How am I supposed to take that? If you were so sure that this would go badly then why did you even come?"

"I only agreed to meet you to get you off my back," Elphaba said cagily. "I was adamant from the beginning that we would never meet. You wouldn't leave it alone!"

"Did you really think we could go on writing letters to each other forever and never meet? You wanted to meet Yero as much as I wanted to meet Fae, I know you did. I know you."

"You don't know me."

"A drawer full of handwritten letters would beg otherwise!"

"Yes, but I only shared things that I wanted you to know!" Elphaba said. "You did the same thing. I mean, it's not like you mentioned that you were a prince!"

"You were the one who—you said to share nothing that could identify—ugh!" Fiyero groaned in frustration. He paced away from her and rubbed the back of his head. "Everything is always a fight with you! Why do you always have to be so—"

"So what!?"

"Resistant!" Fiyero growled, turning back around and crossing close to her.

Elphaba lifted her chin and met his stare. Their chests heaved over their heated row, and Elphaba detected the tell-tale trace of cigarette smoke on his clothes. She unconsciously recalled a letter she'd received in August in which Yero confessed to a bad habit of smoking whenever he felt 'supremely nervous'.

She had never connected the dots. In all of the hours she'd spent wondering about her correspondent she had never considered the fact Yero could be somebody that she'd already met. Somebody she already knew. Yet here before her was the evidence in the form of a scent on his shirt. Fiyero and Yero were one in the same.

Fiyero took a deep breath and gave Elphaba an expectant, patient look. "So…what do we do now?"

"What do you mean what do we do now? We do nothing," Elphaba stated as if it were obvious.

"You can't mean that," Fiyero said with a short, humorless laugh.

"What else would you have us do?" Elphaba posed theoretically.

"Well, we can't pretend like this never happened!"

"What? Were you wanting to tell people all about your shameful experience with the Ozian Pen Pal Program? Go ahead then! Tell them all about it. Publish my letters if you must, that way everyone can have a good laugh!" Elphaba lashed out.

"Hey—"

"No, tell them! Tell them all. Tell them how you got tricked. Tell them how you humiliated yourself by pouring your heart out to the one person in Oz who…who—Oz damn it I told you, Fiyero! I told you that I didn't want to meet!"

"Elphaba," Fiyero said calmly. "You misunderstand me. I—"

"Save it."

A stab of sorrow punctured Elphaba's chest and she clutched at the wound to guard her heart. There'd be no more letters. No more anonymous friend. No more visits to their tree. No more Yero. Elphaba could practically see Fiyero's mind filling in the blanks. Merging everything he knew of Fae and of Elphaba into one pathetic person. All of the secrets she'd shared, the desires she'd divulged, they were shamefully linked back to her true self and could never be unlinked. She could never go back. Elphaba could never be Fae again.

"This night has cost me everything. It's cost me everything," Elphaba managed in a hoarse whisper. "Take pity on me, Fiyero, and just leave me alone. Please. Just…leave me alone."

Having resorted to the opposite response before, Elphaba now felt the urge to take flight. Feeling in danger of revealing even more of herself, as if that damage had not already been done, she turned on her heel to flee.

"Elphaba, wait!" Fiyero called after her. "What about everything else?!"

She didn't stop to ask what he meant and he did not attempt to follow. Even if he'd pursue her, she knew that she could outlast him.

Elphaba was excellent at running. She'd already proven that.