A/N: I liked this idea because it actually came to me in a proverbial flash. Seriously. I was just sitting there when I suddenly sat up straight with the first line in my head. Fine, look sceptical, but it's true…
To be honest, for the time being, at least, I'm all angsted-out. Thank God. I suppose, this could kind of come under the heading of angst, but I think it's a little lighter than proper angst. At least, I hope it is…
Disclaimer: All belongs to the BBC. Darn it.
There were a lot of things he had never told her.
Half the time when the TARDIS had landed, he hadn't even told her where - or when - they were. Just stood back as she went out through the door and waited for her reaction. And then he'd be there, by her side, grinning and prepared to answer all her questions. And with each question she raised, his smile would grow a little wider, as if he was ecstatic that she was interested enough to ask.
He would never give a proper answer when she asked why he never changed his leather jacket, regardless of when and where they were. Just smiled and told her that he liked it. And after a while, she came to accept it. The jacket was a part of him, just as his manic grin and his Northern accent were. So she came to love the jacket, too.
He had never told her about regeneration. And, she supposed, she should have been angry - livid, even - that he hadn't. To watch her Doctor burn up in front of her and change his face had been torture, and some of her pain could have been prevented if he had only told her. If he had only prepared her. But truth be told, she had been nowhere near as angry as she could - and possibly should - have been. How could she, when the new Doctor was every bit as talkative and energetic, as her Doctor had been manic and intense? When her Doctor had given up his life for her? No, her anger had dissolved. She still missed her Doctor, but she had this new man, full of life, to help her and she came to love him, too.
They had never really talked about Jack. There had never really been time. Her Doctor had transformed and her thoughts were consumed with trying to understand what had happened. She had asked him later. And she had been told, with a pained face, that Jack had died. In a way, she'd known it all along, but she had cried then. He had held her, but he hadn't told her anything more and she regarded the subject as closed.
He mentioned that he had been a dad, that time at the Olympics. And that had thrown her completely. Did that mean there had been others? Did that mean he had had a proper girlfriend? Wife? Or did things work differently for Time Lords? There was no reason for her to be shocked, though. He was nine hundred years old. It stood to reason that somewhere along the way he would have found a special someone and children might have followed. But he had never really mentioned it. Just a fleeting comment, but it had caught her off-guard. And then he was up and off, too distracted to pay any heed to her question. Or unwilling to hear it. And now, she supposed, she would never know.
Right now, standing on the beach, she reflected that this was just one more thing he had never told her. And maybe, it was just one more thing she was going to have to accept. But she thought he might have said it. Just a little more time and the words would have been out - but their time had run out at the cruellest moment. Except, that was just how things worked, wasn't it? Besides, she had never expected him to say it. He had said, "Quite right, too." and she had smiled with acceptance. Because she didn't know if he was allowed to love her or not, she just wanted him to know that she loved him. That someone loved him. Then he had gone on and her heart had almost stopped as she realised what was happening. Too soon, though, he had been snatched away. Snatched away from her life and her love and her silly, little hand. And he hadn't said it. But though she never heard the words, she had felt them. She had felt them in his voice and in his words and just in the fact that his image was standing there in front of her, at all. And Rose considered feeling, rather than hearing, to be a thousand times more important.
So now, even despite her tears and her raw, raw grief, she managed the briefest of smiles. Because her Doctor had tried and that was enough for Rose.
Gosh. That practically ended positively! In fact, I think it might have done…. Pleath tell me what you think?
