§ § § -- January 24, 1998

"So you see, Mr. Roarke, I think I'd better cancel my fantasy," Josie concluded, still steaming a bit. "It was one thing to meet Devin Reilley, but now that I have, I wouldn't marry him if you paid me to do it."

Roarke smiled apologetically. "Much as I would like to accommodate you, I am afraid it's quite impossible. Only in the direst emergencies am I able to cut a fantasy short; and unfortunately, this one doesn't qualify as such."

"Does that mean I'm stuck with this fantasy? But Devin Reilley has to loathe me now for pouring my drink all over his head, and I know I don't want to see him again for sure. I don't see how you can not cancel the dumb thing."

"Fantasies are rarely under my control once they have begun—and besides, it's only mid-afternoon on Saturday," Roarke noted. "There is time yet for many things to happen." He caught her trapped expression and relented a little. "However, Ms. Waring, I'm certain it won't be very difficult to avoid Mr. Reilley if you truly wish to do so. After all, he is busy shooting his latest film and will be occupied on the set for most of his time here. You should be able to enjoy our guest amenities without much fear of meeting him again."

Josie finally smiled. "Well, I guess I can handle that. Okay, then, thanks, Mr. Roarke. You have an amusement park on this island, don't you?" At his nod: "I haven't had a chance to visit one of those in ages, and I think it's time I cut loose and had some fun. And it's a sure bet that a crowded amusement park would be the last place a self-absorbed snob like Devin Reilley would be interested in. Thanks again, and see you later." Roarke nodded and watched her as she went out through the French shutters.

Leslie came in a moment later with the day's mail and sorted absently through it. "I just heard what happened at the restaurant," she told Roarke, who regarded her with irony. "Frankly, I say, good for Josie. On the other hand, the maitre d' and most of the waitstaff are talking about banning her from the building for the rest of her stay here. They're terrified that Devin Reilley's going to ruin their reputation by tattling to you."

"Indeed," said Roarke, shaking his head. Before he could comment any further, though, the door flew open and the selfsame Devin Reilley stomped into the foyer and down the steps, a thunderous look on his face. "Good afternoon, Mr. Reilley, how can we assist you?" Roarke inquired.

"By firing that incompetent chef at that restaurant, for one thing," Devin griped. "Yesterday he overbaked my lasagna, today he put walnuts in my Waldorf salad when I insisted there not be any. The man doesn't know how to follow orders, Roarke, and I want you to do something about it."

"I will have it looked into," Roarke said serenely. "Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, I want the name of the hotel manager," Devin plowed on. "I just went back to my suite to change clothes after that little nobody poured her drink all over me, and my room hasn't even been cleaned yet. I want the housekeeping staff disciplined for that." He paused for Roarke's acknowledgment, then hesitated long enough to make both Roarke and Leslie turn their full attention to him. "And oh yeah…give me the name of the bungalow where Josie what's-her-name's staying."

"No, I don't think so," said Leslie, very sweetly.

Devin Reilley did a beautiful double-take and gawked at her. "Huh?"

"Rumor has it that you treated her abominably, as if she were beneath you," Leslie explained in her politest tone. "Under the circumstances, I don't think it would be a good idea if we told you where she's staying. She might very well sue us for breach of privacy, and I'm sure you understand we'd prefer to avoid that." She smiled at him.

"Are you making fun of me, Leslie Hamilton?" Devin asked suspiciously.

"Absolutely not, Mr. Reilley," said Leslie. "Can I take you somewhere? The set, or your hotel suite, or somewhere else?"

Devin suddenly grinned at her. "Like maybe the entrance to hell?" he suggested cheerfully, making Leslie snap to astonished attention before both she and the actor burst out laughing. Roarke grinned, shaking his head to himself. "Okay, I admit it, I was a complete ass to Josie. I insulted her, ignored her, called her by every name except her own, and really ticked her off. I suppose I just lost a devoted fan." He sighed and swiveled a bit on one heel to include Roarke in his monologue. "But you gotta understand something, see. Ever since I got famous, all I ever deal with anymore is sycophants. People fawning all over me, breaking their necks trying to get me whatever they think I want, all in the hope that I'll do them some life-altering favor—getting them a part in my next movie, lending them money, giving them money, putting them in my will, whatever. They treat me like some kind of god, and I'm positively sick of it. Thanks for standing up to me, Leslie. And, uh, I apologize to you both for the snotty things I've been doing ever since I got here." He gave Roarke a sheepish grin. "You impress me, Mr. Roarke. No matter what I throw at you, you never lose your cool or contradict me. You must be the hardest person to ruffle that I've ever met."

"Not much gets to my father," Leslie remarked, glancing at Roarke with a grin of her own. "So what's your schedule for the day? I thought you had to be back on the set."

"My co-star had to fly back to L.A. on short notice," Devin said with a shrug, "on account of some family emergency or another. So the director decided we might as well take a day off—seems some folks have been complaining that all we've done since we got here is work. Is there someplace I can get access to transportation for the afternoon?"

"We have an extra jeep we can lend you for the day," Roarke told him. "I'll have it brought around and you may go wherever you wish. And don't forget, all guests are welcome to the luau this evening."

"I've heard about Fantasy Island luaus," Devin said with anticipation. "You bet I'll be there. Thanks, both of you. But…don't forget to fire that chef." He nodded firmly and jogged out, leaving Roarke with a resigned look and Leslie throwing her hands into the air with exasperation.

‡ ‡ ‡

Josie had been having the time of her life at the amusement park, going on rides she hadn't experienced since she was a kid and enjoying the heck out of every one of them. By the time she got off the bumper cars, she realized she was overheated and perspiring, making the waterslide a very attractive option. She consulted her map of the park and set off in the proper direction, only to groan aloud when she got there and saw the length of the line. She got on the end of it nevertheless and found herself striking up a conversation with another guest from upstate New York who had come to the island to get a break from the relentless winter. Despite the line, they moved fairly quickly and the conversation helped to make the wait seem shorter.

Just as the New Yorker started off for the top of the slide, someone stepped in front of Josie, who was next. "Sorry, I'm cutting in."

The voice made Josie gasp. "You again!" she cried. "Who do you think you are?"

"Devin Reilley, of course," said the smirking actor. "I'm roasting, and I refuse to wait in line like a sheep. So I'm going next."

Hot, sweaty, and already irritated, Josie became downright enraged. "Wanna bet? Listen, you've already had your fun at my expense. Not anymore. We may be 'sheep', but we've been fair and stood patiently in line. I don't care if you're Elvis reincarnated—you don't get to cut in front of me or anybody else. Get your arrogant rear end to the back of the line and wait your turn like all the rest of us!"

"You tell him, lady!" exclaimed someone a few feet back, echoed by a few "way to go!" comments. Josie grinned, feeling her already hot face get even hotter, and shrugged. Devin Reilley eyed her with something that almost looked like respect, then shouldered into line just behind her. Complaints arose from some, but they were hastily quashed by a number of others who were impressed and intimidated by the presence of a famous movie star.

Devin followed Josie closely on her way to the top of the slide; she did her best to pretend he wasn't there, but he landed almost atop her in the pool of water at the bottom and she had to scramble out of the way before he pinned her under. She shot him one blazing look before getting out of the pool, wringing out her hair and collecting her belongings at the entrance. There, she pulled out her park map and perused it, wondering where to go next.

"Done the roller coaster yet?" Devin asked from behind her shoulder.

"Go away," Josie told him and ducked through a large group of teenagers flocking past the waterslide entrance, trying to lose him. She wound her way toward the log-flume ride, looking to get a little more watery relief from the tropical sun, and got in line.

"Good choice," Devin said from behind her. "This looks almost as good as the waterslide. Sure is hot around here, isn't it?"

"Probably on account of you blowing hot air all over the place," Josie said disgustedly. "I told you to go away. Go ride something else."

Devin laughed. "I like your sense of humor."

Finally Josie cranked around to glare at him head-on. "All right, you blowhard, out with it. Why are you following me around and complimenting me now, when at lunch you thought I was the stupidest thing on two feet?"

Devin looked caught by surprise for the first time, and rocked back on his heels, clearing his throat with noisy self-consciousness. She simply went on glaring at him, and he eventually admitted, "Because I was wrong for treating you that way, and I want to apologize. I really am sorry, Josie. And hey, look, I even remembered your name."

"Give the man a gold star," Josie muttered, turning to face front. "Beat it."

"I'm serious," Devin insisted, reaching out and revolving her back to face him again. Ignoring her outraged look, he said, "I mean it, Josie. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. Do you think you could find it in you to give me another chance? Like maybe tonight? I do need a date for the luau, you know."

Josie stood there in speechless disbelief and tried to figure out what to make of this sudden 180° turnaround. Reluctantly she admitted to herself that she was tempted—after all, she was realizing, fandom died pretty hard. Even so, what if she did accept and the same thing happened all over again? She could turn into a blithering idiot, and he'd start insulting her and calling her all the wrong names again. Did she really want that? Maybe it was better if she kept reminding herself of that lunch fiasco. Besides, getting so angry with him and his constant abuse of his star status, and hearing others' approval of her actions toward him, had given her a sense of self-confidence that she had never had before. She really should stick to her guns, she decided. If she caved in now, she'd probably regret it.

Having thought things out, she shrugged her shoulders and gave him a half-regretful smile. "Sorry, no…I've got other plans for tonight. But thanks anyway."

"Aw, come on," Devin cajoled. Josie could see in his expression that he wasn't taking her refusal seriously. "All the food and drinks are on me."

"The food and drinks at the luaus are free," Josie said dryly. "Didn't you read the website for this island before you came here? Sorry, the answer's still no." She turned back to face front and advanced forward in the line, deeply relieved when she finally reached the front and was the last person chosen for a group of four in the last empty car. Devin had to wait for the next one, which made her smirk at him and waggle her fingers in a mocking little wave. Devin rolled his eyes, and she giggled all the way through the ride.

Once it was over, she made certain to lose herself in the crowds, and decided that since she'd managed to get a head start on him, it might be a good time to go back to her bungalow and decide what to do for the rest of the day till it was time for the luau. At least there, Devin couldn't bother her.

There was an open-sided shuttle bus for guests to ride back, since the amusement park was a few miles west of the Enclave and it was too far to walk. Josie swung aboard the waiting shuttle and found a seat, watching others file out of the park gates and board. There was a lull, and the driver checked his watch and put the vehicle in gear. That was when someone burst through the gates, shouting, "Hold up, driver, wait for me!" Josie groaned softly and slid down in her seat, hoping either that Devin Reilley wouldn't see her there, or the driver would choose to be selectively deaf and leave without him. Unfortunately, neither of these came to pass, and sure enough, Devin quickly spotted her glowering at the passing scenery as he wound his way toward the back. "Aha. Thought I might find you here."

"Wow, it's Devin Reilley!" exclaimed Josie's seatmate, and Josie cringed. Had she once sounded like that? Curse the day I ever heard of the guy, she thought glumly.

"Mind if I sit here?" Devin asked in his most charming voice, and the person sitting beside Josie happily gave up her place to squeeze in across the aisle. Devin gave her a sugary thanks and settled into the empty seat. "Well, well, so we meet again. It must be fate."

"It must be phenomenal bad luck," Josie grumbled, unable to resist rising to the bait.

Devin laughed. "Not for me it isn't," he said. "So how about it, Josie? Luau starts at seven and I can pick you up at quarter till, so we can get some good seats."

"No thank you," Josie replied stiffly, refusing to look at him.

Devin sighed gently. "Must not be into luaus," he remarked in a light tone. "Okay, then, here's a better idea. How about a moonlight stroll on the beach?"

"I hope you have a good time," Josie said.

Devin stared at her for a few minutes while the bus rolled along the Ring Road and rattled across a one-lane bridge over an inlet. "Tell me, Josie, what do you do for fun?"

Josie aimed an annoyed look at him over her shoulder. "Throw darts at pictures of you," she told him and turned back around, tucking her hair back behind one ear. Right now, Josie thought, if she could somehow figure out how to trade places with Devin, she would have loved to push him out the side of the bus. His laughter made her squeeze her eyes shut and clench her jaw.

"Man, where was that wit at lunch?" he chuckled. "You're turning out to be quite a lady, Josie. Oh…I never did get around to asking your last name."

"Waring," she ground out. "I told you when we first met in the restaurant."

"Right!" Devin snapped his fingers. "I remember now. Josie Waring. And hey, that's not all I remember. Your birthday's two or three weeks after mine, right?"

Josie began to grind her teeth. What was taking this thing so long to get back to the other end of the island? Her eyes flew open when the bus lurched around a corner and startled laughter erupted from some of the passengers. Devin was still talking, and she tried to tune him out, till she realized the girl who had given him her seat had snagged his attention and was regaling him with a truckload of minute trivia about herself. Oh my God, I sounded just like that at the restaurant, Josie thought in chagrin. What a babbling dingbat I was! The fear of repeating this behavior strengthened her resolve.

"That's great, and here's your autograph," Devin said from beside her, sounding strained. "Hope you have a nice time this weekend." The bus came to a halt just then at the entrance to the lane where the bungalows were located, and Josie immediately got up, squeezed past Devin and started toward the front. He was right behind her, and she thought about hiking to the police station in town rather than her bungalow.

"Okay, you won't go to the beach or the luau, maybe you'd like a twilight swim at the pool," Devin said. She shook her head and he persisted, "Want to try the casino then?"

"I don't gamble," Josie exploded, her temper finally breaking loose. "I don't ride horses, I don't take long jungle hikes, and I don't ride mopeds. When is it going to get through your thick skull? I don't want to go anywhere with you!" She whipped away from him and fled down the lane as fast as she dared in her flip-flops.

Devin Reilley, finally defeated, gaped after her, dumbfounded. What was wrong with the crazy woman? She'd been one of his many gushing admirers just that afternoon and now seemed to think he was the dirt under her feet! Well, who needed her anyway? He began to stomp off in the general direction of the hotel, muttering to himself, liberally lacing his spoken thoughts with curses. After awhile he came to a surprised stop when he really looked at his surroundings and discovered that he was standing in front of the main house. What the heck…he could always go to Roarke. Rumor had it that Roarke had answers to just about any question you could think up. He tromped up the porch steps and banged on the door, letting himself in without waiting for a reply.

"Ah, Mr. Reilley," said Roarke, raising an eyebrow. "Would you like to come in?"

Roarke's irony was not lost on Devin, who cleared his throat and essayed a sheepish little smile that went unanswered by either of his hosts. "Just wanted to be sure I got your attention," he said, trying to sound joking.

"We aren't deaf," said Leslie. "So what brings you here?"

Devin sighed. "It's Josie Waring. She keeps turning me down for a date."

Roarke and Leslie looked at each other; Roarke's eyebrow went up again and Leslie stood there visibly stifling a smile. "I thought you found her annoying," Roarke said.

"Well, yeah, I did, at first. But…well, all of a sudden she, uh, poured her drink all over my head in the restaurant and kinda told me off, and…" He paused, flicked furtive glances at each of his hosts in turn, and at last confessed, "It got to me, right here." He patted his chest where his heart was located. "She stood up to me."

"I don't get it," said Leslie.

"I might have mentioned this before, I don't know," Devin said, beginning to stroll in a slow circle on the Persian carpet as he talked. "But I'm surrounded by a sea of yes-men. Day in and day out, it's 'Can I help you?' and 'What can I get you?' and 'May I fall at your feet again today?' and 'Let me die for you this week, Mr. Reilley!' It's sickening, I'm telling you! I mean, it'd be one thing if it were sincere, but it's not. They're just trying to ingratiate themselves with me so I'll do them some major favor. They're all a bunch of sniveling toadies, and they drive me straight to the nut house. They carry on like I'm a flipping demigod, for crying out loud. You see? All I really want is someone who'll carry on a normal conversation with me and act like a regular person."

"Ah," murmured Roarke and Leslie in simultaneous comprehension. Leslie added, "So where does Josie Waring come into this?"

"Apparently I pushed her over a line, and now she wants nothing to do with me. She keeps telling me to bug off, get lost, make tracks, and so forth. I've asked her to come with me just about every place on the island I can think of, and every single time, she says no. I'm about ready to tear out my hair. When she walked out on me in the restaurant, I realized that that was one person who'd decided not to be intimidated, or fascinated, by me anymore. I knew if I went too far, she'd have no trouble shoving me right back. She acted like I'm a real person, you see? I can't let her go. She may be the only person I ever find who can do it without even thinking about it. And I gotta make her part of my life."

Roarke smiled slightly. "That's as may be, Mr. Reilley, but since you say Ms. Waring has repeatedly turned you down for an evening out, it's clear that she doesn't agree. I think, in the face of that, you might be well-advised to do as she asks and let her be."

Devin stopped short. "Are you kidding? I'll never see her again!"

"It's still early in the weekend," Roarke told him, his smile widening a fraction. "My advice is that you exercise a little patience. Give the lady time to cool down and think things over, and perhaps the situation will change. In the meantime, why don't you do some sightseeing, and take your mind off the problem? After all, as long as you have the day free, it would be quite a shame to waste it, would it not?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," Devin said grudgingly. "I'll tell you frankly, for advice it's pretty lousy, but it looks like I've got no choice."

Leslie nodded. "Afraid not. As the song says, you can't always get what you want."

Devin gave her a long look which she returned easily, then grinned at her. "I like you, Leslie Hamilton. You've got backbone—good for you. I only wish you hadn't quoted that particular song, because I just plain hate that group. Oh well, anyway, thanks." And with that, he walked out.

Leslie met Roarke's amused regard and observed, "No question about it. He's in love." Roarke laughed agreement and reached for the ringing telephone.