The rest of winter break had come and gone. Wendy had spent the whole break hanging out with Bebe and Red while Kenny had spent it smoking with Craig. Neither of them had talked since New Years, but they had both been on each other's minds a lot. Neither of them knew what say when they happened to see each other before school.
Kenny was putting books in his locker when Wendy came up and tapped him on the shoulder. "Can we talk?" She asked.
Kenny nodded and he slung his backpack over his shoulder and closed his locker. "What's up?"
Wendy looked up at him and into his blue eyes. She got lost in them momentarily and then looked away, "So about what happened the other night..." She started.
Kenny slipped his hands in his pockets, he knew this would be inevitably brought up but he hadn't thought about how this conversation would go. "Hey, we can just continue on with our lives, if that's what you want to do." That wasn't what Kenny wanted, but he was more concerned about her happiness.
"No, I mean, I still want you in my life." Wendy explained, "Maybe we can just be friends or something."
Kenny smiled, "Yeah, friends, that would be great."
Wendy didn't want to be just friends, she wanted to date Kenny and be the only one he wanted, but she knew he wasn't going to settle down.
Kenny really felt something for Wendy. Every time he looked at her he felt something warm and fuzzy inside him. He wanted to hold her in her arms and listen to her tell him about her feelings. It was weird, Kenny didn't know if he liked it or not.
Wendy put a strand of hair behind her ear, "Well, I have to get to class. See you around." She smiled sweetly before turning down the hallway.
Kenny watched her walk down the hall and let out a sigh. He turned and walked the other way, heading to his class. When he got there Clyde and Craig were standing outside of the classroom laughing. When Kenny walked by Craig glanced at him, "McCormick, do you want to ditch class with me? Clyde said he can't miss anymore school or his dad will kill him."
Kenny turned around to face him, "I can't believe it's only the first day back and you already want to leave again." Craig shrugged in response. "I'd love to skip school with you." Kenny continued.
Clyde glanced between the two of them. He desperately wanted to skip school but he also didn't want to get in trouble. "You guys have fun." He said. Craig pulled Clyde close and gave him a long kiss, leaving Kenny to awkwardly stand and glance around the hallway. He never understood how Craig and Clyde could be so touchy feely without a care in the world about anyone else, but somehow they managed to do it.
When they finally pulled away Clyde gave Craig a peck on the cheek before heading into the classroom. Kenny looked at Craig and tried to pretend that he didn't just watch him shove his tongue down his boyfriend's throat for a good solid minute.
Craig rolled his eyes, he didn't give a fuck about what Kenny or anyone else thought about his and Clyde's relationship. "Come on, let's go." Craig had always had this monotone voice and it was still the same now. Kenny had learned to get used to it over the years and he'd realized if you paid close attention sometimes you could hear emotions underneath it all.
Kenny and Craig walked to Craig's car, which was some old Chevy that was not much better than Kenny's truck. They climbed in and Craig looked at Kenny, "What do you want to do?" He asked.
Kenny laughed, "You invited me to ditch with you. I figured you had a plan."
"Let's just start driving and see where we end up." Craig suggested, he pulled out of the school parking lot and started driving. "So have you talked to Wendy?" Craig knew all about Kenny and Wendy's hookup, he didn't know about the feelings Kenny harbored for her.
"We talked this morning." Kenny shrugged. "It's weird, dude."
"Why is it weird?" Craig questioned. Kenny could tell he actually cared and Craig wasn't like Cartman or Butters. He knew if he told Craig anything it would stay between them because he didn't like to stir up drama or get on anyone's bad side.
"Well it's just that, she's different than all the other girls I've fucked. She makes me feel something." Kenny explained as he looked out the window.
"Could you be a little more vague please?" Craig asked, sarcasm heavy in his tone.
Kenny rolled his eyes, "She makes me really happy and I want to spend time with her."
Craig glanced over at him, "Dude you totally are falling for her."
The idea has crossed Kenny's mind, many times actually. He didn't want to be falling for her, nothing good came out of something long term. He shook his head, "But I don't want to be."
"Well you just can't chose not to be in love." Craig stated, "It's like trying to choose not be gay, it doesn't work like that."
"How would you know you can't just choose not to be in love?" Kenny questioned him.
"When I first started getting feelings for Clyde I tried to ignore them. I said to myself, 'Craig there is no way you can fall for someone who wears sweats everyday and lives of Cheesy Poofs and cookies.' I tried to distract myself, I even thought about trying to reconnect with Tweek since last time I talked to him was when we were twelve." Craig explained. When he was in the firth grade Tweek had broken up with him because Craig hadn't shared any of his chocolate chip cookies with him at lunch. Craig hardly counted that as a relationship though because there was no way ten year old boys were capable of feeling any sort of deep love but Tweek was the only person he'd ever kissed besides Clyde.
"Anyways, the point is, I kept pushing these feelings down but look at where we are today. I'm with Clyde and I'm so happy." Craig finished off, his voice monotone, but there was a small smile on lips letting Kenny know he was being sincere.
Kenny rolled his eyes, "So you're just saying I should act on those feelings?"
"Yes." Craig replied simply, glancing over at him.
Kenny let out a groan, "You don't understand how much I can't do that."
"It's easy, you just go up to her and tell her how you feel. Maybe something like, 'Hey Wendy, I think you have nice tits and I'd really like to marry that pair of tits'." Craig laughed after he finished talking.
Kenny laughed too despite the underlying stress this whole situation was causing. "Did you figure out what you wanted to do while we ditched?" He asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah, we're going to the planetarium to watch one of those cool some shows." Craig said. He loved all things space related, Kenny should've know that's where they were going to end up.
"I'm pretty sure last time I watched one of those I literally died." Kenny commented flatly. He tried to stay away from places and situations that had killed him before because he didn't want to die more than necessary.
"You always say that." Craig pointed out. Craig had seen Kenny die countless times, of course, but he didn't have the slightest idea of what he meant. He'd always just figured Kenny was trying to get some emotion across and he didn't know how to word it correctly.
"It's because it's true!" Kenny insisted. He was met with silence from Craig. He let out a sigh and turned to look out the window. He knew that soon he'd have to face two of his fears: the planetarium dome show and feelings.
Wendy went through the whole day not talking to anyone. At lunch she picked at her food as Bebe and Red gossiped about Kevin Stoley and how much cuter he'd gotten since that awkward middle school stage.
After school Wendy was standing at her locker grabbing her textbooks for the long night of studying ahead when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Kyle standing there. Kyle was tall, almost awkwardly tall, he always wore sweater vests, and today was no exception. His signature green hat still sat on his head and hide his his Jew-fro from the world. "Hey Wendy, can we talk for a second?" He asked.
Wendy closed her locker and let out a deep sigh. She figured he would try to talk grades or about the debate team that they'd both been on for long. "Yeah, I have a minute." She replied.
"Well it's about Stan," Kyle started. Wendy almost groaned at hearing his name, she didn't want to talk about Stan but she knew he would be brought up eventually. "He's taking this break up pretty hard-"
"And what? You want me to run back into his arms and tell him I'm sorry." Wendy snapped at Kyle.
"No, no! It's not like that at all Wendy." Kyle assured her, "In fact I think it was good for you two to break up, Stan was really holding you back."
"Why did you come over here to tell me Stan was upset then just to tell me breaking up with him was the right thing to do?" Wendy questioned. She was annoyed by the direction of this discussion. She wanted to turn on her heel and leave but she knew that would be rude to Kyle and she really had no reason to be mad at him.
"I think you need to give him some closure. He's really messed up." Kyle finished. He wanted nothing more than to help his best friend and not abandon him like everyone else had done. He knew why they'd all stopped trying to help Stan, but he was determined to stick by his side through thick and thin. He didn't want a repeat of what happen in fourth grade when he'd abandoned Stan because of his cynicism, especially now that Kyle was older and understood a lot better what Stan was going through.
Wendy let out a sigh, "Closure would be good for both of us, I think." She glanced up Kyle, she didn't want to talk to Stan but she knew there'd been many things that were left unsaid that needed to be vocalized at some point. "Where is Stan, I'll go talk to him right now."
"Probably at Stark's Pond. He's been spending a lot of time there." Kyle explained, shaking his head. "I can give you a ride if you want."
Wendy nodded and she followed Kyle out to his car. As they drive to the pond Wendy thought about what she was going to say to Stan but they got there before she could formulate a plan.
Sure enough Stan was sitting on a bench looking out over the frozen pond. Wendy looked at the pond from Kyle's car and was flooded with memories of skating on it. "I'll let you two talk alone." Kyle said, cutting through her thoughts. She nodded and then stepped out of the car.
She walked over to Stan but stopped a few feet back to look at him. Wendy glanced over her shoulder at Kyle, who urged her to go on. She walked up and rested a hand on Stan's shoulder, "Hey Stan, I think we need to talk."
Stan looked at her. She was still as beautiful as ever and he was still in love with her. Wendy on the other hand was not in love with Stan anymore. In fact the only emotion she felt when she looked at his tired face was pity. Stan nodded and Wendy walked around and sat next to him on the bench.
It was a dismal day, the sky was over cast and the pond looked gray. The January air was biting at their fingers and toes and their noses were red. Wendy didn't even know where to begin with Stan. She turned to him, "I hope you understand why we had to break up," she started, "I probably shouldn't have done it while you were drunk at a party, but that's just how it went." She let out a sigh.
Stan looked at her, "Why exactly did you break up with me?" He asked. He couldn't remember anything past a vague explanation, his memory clouded with alcohol and a wish to forget it even happened.
Wendy didn't even know how to respond. She had many reasons why she broke up with him but she tried to decide which one would break his heart the least. There was the drinking, the never ending flow of problems, and now there was someone else her heart wanted. "It just... wasn't working for me."
"What does that mean?" Stan didn't like the vague answer she gave him, he wanted specifics.
"I just, we weren't working." Wendy didn't know what to say, it was like her words weren't forming correctly.
Stan was hurt, he couldn't even get a straight answer. He figured it was the drinking, he had watched all his friends abandon him, he didn't want Wendy to go too. "Wendy, I can change. I can stop drinking, if that's what it is." He insisted.
Wendy shook her head slightly, "Stan, I can't do this anymore. We can't do this anymore." She looked down. "We keep running around in circles. We're on and then we're off, one of us is always hurt. Don't you think it would be better for us to just let go?"
Deep down Stan knew Wendy was right, they never would work out, but Stan loved her. "Wendy, I know you know I'm sad a lot of the time, but you make me really happy. I've lost so many friends Cartman, Kenny, even Butters won't talk to me anymore. You and Kyle are all I have left, I don't want to lose you too."
Wendy felt her heart break as she looked at Stan, she knew he was being genuine. She had known Stan her whole life, she had loved Stan for most of it too. Wendy felt a sudden fear wash over her, Stan was all that she knew. She realized she didn't know how to move on from something like this, she didn't know if she could really end it all. "Stan, you know I never wanted to hurt you like this." She managed to stay composed despite trying to fight back tears.
"Accidents still hurt." Stan stated coldly.
"It's best for us to stay apart." Wendy decided. She couldn't be his friend, she could still fall back in love with him if given the chance, and she didn't want that. "It's really over this time." Wendy hated the way those words came out of her mouth, she hated they way the sounded so final.
Stan looked at her, "Give me one last chance, I can change. I don't want to lose you." He really meant it too, he didn't want to lose anyone else. He wanted things to go back to the way they were when they were young, but he knew they never could.
Wendy let out a sigh, her breath hanging in the air. "I can't, I'm sorry." She stood, turning away. "I'm so sorry, Stan. I'll see you around."
Wendy walked away, leaving Stan on the bench and he didn't know what to do.
Kyle watched from his car as Wendy left. Then he stepped out and headed towards Stan on the bench. "Stan..." Kyle said softly, "How're you doing?"
Stan looked back at his best friend and shrugged, "I'm okay."
Kyle sat down next to him and Stan rested his head on his shoulder. "It's okay to not be okay." He said.
"I know." Stan replied simply. He had a hard time talking about his feelings, and he didn't want to. His heart was broken and Kyle was all he had left, he didn't want to scare him away too. "Please don't ever leave me Kyle, you're my best friend."
Kyle frowned, "I'll always be your best friend, dude." He said. He couldn't bear to see Stan so upset. "Why don't we get together with some of our friends tonight and so we can cheer you up." Kyle suggested.
Stan shook his head, "No one would come."
"No, that's not true. David will come and-"
"David doesn't like me." Stan sighed in defeat.
Kyle shook his head, "David likes you." He lied. David tolerated Stan because Kyle was his best friend. He didn't like Stan because he thought he walked all over Kyle and just treated him poorly in general.
"You and David have been dating for like a month now and every time I see him he always acts so cold." Stan complained. He wanted to get along with David, but they just didn't click. Stan was about the only person who knew about Kyle and David's relationship. Kyle didn't want the word getting out about him being gay and David was the same way. The only reason anyone knew was because a month ago Kenny caught David and Kyle kissing behind the school when he was looking for a place to smoke. After Kenny knew Kyle felt bad that he hadn't told Stan, so he told him too. Kyle just prayed Cartman would never find out.
"He doesn't hate you." Kyle insisted, "We can invite other people too. It'll be fun, Stan, I want to cheer you up." Kyle smiled and Stan looked at him.
Stan let out a sigh, "Alright." He agreed reluctantly.
Kyle smiled and stood up, "Great. Why don't you go home and get some rest? I'll call you later. Let me take you home." He extended his arm and helped Stan up, he just hoped this worked.
Kenny had barely survived the planetarium, when Craig dropped him off at the end of school he was still nervous that something bad was going to happen to him. He didn't fear death, but he didn't like the feeling of dying painfully. He didn't understand why he couldn't just die peacefully in his sleep for once.
After the planetarium him and Craig had hotboxed his car and smoked before stumbling around Denver for a few hours looking at everything there was to look at. Eventually they had to go back though, because Kenny had to be responsible and go to work. He sat in his truck trying to prepare himself for work but he was coming off his high and really just wanted to go to sleep or smoke more weed.
Kenny knew that he couldn't do either of those things so he reluctantly started his car and drove to where he worked, Tweek Bros. He had basically secured himself a job there since his parents made the meth that Mr. and Mrs. Tweak put in their coffee. They were careful about it, but they found it gave everyone an extra little buzz. Kenny felt kind of bad though, Tweek had drank so much of their coffee that he was sure he was addicted to meth. Tweek had complained to Kenny that other coffees didn't give him the buzz he needed, he had thought of telling Tweek before but Mr. Tweak swore him to secrecy.
When Kenny pulled up to the coffee shop he ran his hands through his hair and sighed before getting out of his car and heading inside. He didn't like work of course, but at least Tweek was there to keep him company. He thought it was funny to watch him try to serve people and cool to watch him make coffee better than everyone else. Work was slow though, him and Tweek stood around talking instead of doing anything productive.
"We're you at Cartman's New Years party?" Tweek asked Kenny, he took a sip from the cup of coffee he was holding in his hands.
"Part of it." Kenny shrugged his shoulders, "I got bored."
"Dude-gah! You really missed out. Everyone was throwing up."
"So I've heard." Kenny laughed lightly. The jingle of a bell was heard, signaling that someone had walked in. They both turned their heads and there was Wendy Testaburger in the doorway. "I'll take care of this one." Kenny walked over and she looked at him.
"I didn't know you worked here." She looked up into Kenny's eyes.
Kenny smiled, "There's a lot of things you don't know about me. What can I get you?"
Wendy thought about it for a moment, she was feeling pretty down. She had just left Stan on a bench and walked around South Park until she was on the other side of town. She was freezing and the first place she saw was the coffee shop. "I'll just have some hot chocolate." She just wanted to warm up before walking home.
Kenny began making her hot chocolate. "How was the first day back to school?" He asked her.
"It was alright." Wendy answered simply.
Kenny frowned, "What happened?"
"What do you mean?" Wendy asked him.
"What happened at school? Was it bad?"
Wendy thought about telling him everything right then and there, but she didn't want to complain to him while he was at work. "I just had to talk to Stan and it stirred up some feelings."
Kenny finished making the hot chocolate and then handed the cup to her. "I'm sorry."
Wendy took the hot chocolate, "It'll be okay." She looked at Kenny and smiled. She didn't think it was going to be okay, she didn't think cutting Stan out completely was a good idea at all. It made her sick to think about it.
Kenny could tell something was up. "How about I get off work early and we hang out?" He asked her.
"I'd like that." Wendy said, taking a sip of hot chocolate.
"Give me a minute." Kenny walked into the backroom and found Tweek who was sweeping. "Hey I need to take a personal day." Kenny slipped off his apron.
"Really, man? I hate handling this place all alone." Tween complained.
Kenny smiled, "It's a slow day, you'll be fine." He hung up his apron and Tweek shook his head. Kenny left and walked out, joining Wendy.
They walked out to Kenny's truck together and climbed inside. "How was talking to Stan?" Kenny asked after they were inside.
Wendy took a sip of her hot chocolate. "It was just like how talking to Stan normally goes." She didn't understand why Kenny suddenly cared so much about her. She looked at the cup of hot chocolate in her hands instead of at him.
Kenny was frowning as he looked at her. "It must be hard, because you and Stan have been together so long."
"It's better this way." Wendy sighed, "We weren't meant to be. I just feel kind of bad, Stan has been struggling for a really long time and I broke up with him at a bad time."
"It's always a bad time to breakup with someone." Kenny commented, shaking his head. "You need to worry about you though, not Stan."
"Yeah, but it's hard to just cut someone out of your life like that. You wouldn't understand."
"You're right. Explain it to me." Kenny said, looking over at her.
"Imagine the person you loved the most in the world was suddenly ripped away from you and you knew they were suffering but you just had to watch them from afar. It hurts a lot, I can't stop thinking about it. I just want Stan to be okay and I don't know if he will. Why do I still care about him?" Wendy felt her voice waver as she held back tears. She didn't want to cry in front of Kenny, or anyone for that matter.
Kenny wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him. He had been in this situation with Karen before. Sometimes she'd cry uncontrollably when their parents were high or drunk and Kenny would always hug her and let her cry. This was no different, he could tell Wendy was on the verge of tears. "Let it all out." Kenny said softly.
Wendy rested her head on him. "I just don't know why it hurts so much." She let out a sob as tears began flowing from her eyes. It was the first time she'd cried because of the breakup. She didn't like crying, it made her feel weak. Wendy couldn't stop herself though.
Kenny just held her close as her tears dampened his jacket. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't know if he needed to say anything at all. He just let her cry until she stopped and pulled away and wiped her eyes. Watching someone cry was nothing like how the movies made it seem. People usually got runny noses and their eyes got red. Wendy's eye makeup ran down her cheeks as well. Kenny didn't mind getting covered in cried off makeup and tears though.
Wendy sat there gathering her thoughts. "I'm sorry." She mumbled after a moment.
Kenny laughed, "Don't apologize." He reached over and used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe off her smeared makeup and tears.
Wendy grabbed his arm and looked at the sleeve on his jacket. "Kenny..." She started, she stared at the smeared makeup on his sleeve. "Thank you so much. You've helped me a lot."
Kenny didn't know what he had done to help her, he was just spending time with her. "I hate to see you sad."
Wendy gave a small smile. Whenever Kenny said anything sweet she felt a fluttery feeling inside her. She wanted to distract herself with Kenny and forget about Stan. He made her feel different than Stan did, he wasn't dragging her down all the time. She liked the feelings that he gave her. "We should spend more time together."
Kenny smiled, "We do." He agreed.
"You should come over and we should I watch a movie or something." Wendy suggested, she really wanted to go home and put on sweats, but she didn't want Kenny to leave her just yet.
"I'd like that." Kenny looked at her and she smiled. They drove to her house and Wendy lead Kenny down to the basement and then she ran upstairs to put on some sweats. Kenny took a moment too look at his phone and saw he had a text from Kyle.
Hey, Stan is really upset so I'm trying to cheer him up. You should come over for support
Kenny sighed as he read it. He replied and told Kyle he was comforting Wendy instead. He slipped his phone back into his pocket as Wendy returned. She sat down next to him and they ended up watching Ironman on TV and about halfway through Wendy had fallen asleep with her head resting on Kenny's chest.
Kenny watched her more than he watched the movie. He thought she looked beautiful with her sort black hair falling in her face and her eyes closed. He studied her face, she truly was beautiful. He suddenly felt a weird happiness wash over him, he only felt it when he was looking at Wendy. There was something special about her and he felt something special for her.
He groaned softly as he looked away from her. Kenny knew what was happening and he didn't want it to happen. He didn't want to be falling in love with Wendy because he knew love hurt. He wanted to hit the brakes and get out while he still had time. He feared he was already in too deep. "What the fuck am I going to do?" He mumbled out loud as he looked at Wendy. He knew he had already fallen.
