Chapter eleven: Reviews (it helps if you read it backwards)
shaman3: eight reviews!
Ramen04: Dude, how awesome was that? That was so funny!
shaman3: Ha, seven reviews! Wow, so happy! Raymie, I think those are seven words, not one, but oh well. SleepOnMyPillow, shut your trap. Jay, what's up? summrbaby, I don't think this would be much of a hit if it were published; besides, you can't get fanfics published and the reason is because 1) they're stupid, 2) it's copyrighting and there's a possibility that the fic can get more popular than the original. And Dragonfly, improve your grammar. I actually like dragonflies a lot. Dragonflies are great with their giant bodies and their giant wings! flies away impersonating a dragonfly
Dragonfly: Pukekekekekekeke! Dat was sooooooooooooo funi!
summrbaby23: OH MY GOD. YOU SHOULD GET THIS PUBLISHED. THIS IS AWESOME WORK. REALLY. YOU SHOULD PUBLISH THIS. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. IF YOU DON'T GET IT PUBLISHED, I WILL KILL YOU. THIS STORY WAS GREAT. YOU SHOULD TURN IT INTO A BOOK.
HowcoolissophieohbythewayIMSOPHIE! (non member): ROFLMFAO!
Sora6: Hi, Brigid. This is Jay. Looks like you're writing quite a bit, and people are liking it. Congratulations!
SleepOnMyPillow: Gawd should kil ya in yo shleep. Dish fic was grate, until you hat to make Natruo get closhe to Saskue. Yaoi ish disguisting. Shtop it.
R a y m i e: Funny! I only have one word to say: Update, update, update, or I'll kill you!
JungMinee012: That was cool! More, please!
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Chapter twelve: (A/N: Today, I had cheesecake)
There was a silence in the air, both calming yet irritating. (A/N: is that even possible?) All three boys glanced at each other, not knowing what was next.
After many minutes-- "What're we doing?" Naruto said. (A/N: kyaaa, I love Naruto-kun!)
Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto and walked back over to him. (A/N: Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun should get together. They are hawt hawt bishies.) "Why're you such a dobe, Naruto?"
"Don't call me that!" (A/N: Really, Sasuke-kun!)
"I can do whatever I want, thank you!" (A/N: Really, Naruto-kun!)
Naruto puffed out his cheeks and was about to retort when (A/N: Sorry, you guys. I haven't been writing lately, because I was on a long, long trip to Africa with my family. It was so cool! Okay, if there's a place you have to go to, it's Zimbabwe. It's so friggin awesome, not just because it's got a name with a Z in it --how cool is the letter Z? -- but because it's in the shape of Homestar's head. You know, Homestar Runner? "Some folks say I'm a terrific athlete!" Well, if you don't know who Homestar is, which I doubt, go to Itachi disappeared.
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Chapter thirteen: A typical SasuNaru, where they never say the people's first names and just use adjectives, plus they repeat things over and over again.
"Hey, where'd your brother go?" The orange-jacketed-boy asked, glancing around. "He was here just a second ago. What happened? Does he do that often? Uchiha, do you know where--"
The tanned boy froze when he saw the pale boy sitting on a lone rock, watching the lonely waters softly ripple through the beautiful lake. The lonely moon rested on the water's surface, shining its enchanting, lonely light on the lonely, pale boy's skin and face. The avenger looked like a lonely angel, his body almost glowing like a lonely person. The kitsune boy gasped at how beautiful the-guy-sitting-down looked.
Wait, what? That-guy-on-the-rock-that-I'm-not-supposed-to-say-his-name, beautiful?
Making sure for one last time if Itachi wasn't nearby, the future-Hokage stumbled over to the lone boy and plopped himself next to his friend. Friend? Was the-always-pissed-off-boy a friend? The smaller boy glanced at the taller boy out of the corner of his eye. A rival, yes, but was he a friend? Who knew? Whenever anyone asked him about their relationship, the blonde never knew what to say.
All he knew was that their relationship was the strongest one he had ever felt.
"What is our relationship, baka?" the lone voice rang through the lonely air.
The spiky-haired kid froze, then sighed dramatically. "What does it matter?"
The raven-haired boy suddenly ticked. He grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and looked at him straight in the eye with so much un-loneliness, it scared the other person senseless. "'What does it matter?'? 'What does it matter?'? 'What does it matter?'? 'What does it matter?'? 'WHAT DOES IT MATTER?'? I'll tell you why it fucking matters! You've been too dumb and clueless to notice, but I …" He suddenly froze in his random outburst, lonely obsidian eyes widening. "Uzumaki, you … I …" The lone look on the strange boy now wiped clean, Not-Kyuubi-but-kinda-close leaned in just an inch closer, eyebrows furrowing.
"What, Uchiha?" The demon-vessel pursued desperately. "What are you?"
The bishie leaned in close to the whiskered-boy's face, making the fangirls scream like wild cats, but instead of landing his lips on the kid's lips, he hit the ear, concluding the fangirls' screams with disappointment, and starting the anti-yaoi girls' and boys' cheers.
"Say something." The not-lone boy whispered.
"No."
"What? Why not?"
"Because every SasuNaru chapter ends with a cliffhanger."
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Chapter fourteen: An all-too-censored lemon, written when the author doesn't want to sound too perverted, or if their parent is over their shoulder, reading everything they're typing.
The person (oh, which one? YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.) touched the other person.
"What're you doing?"
And then…
SOMETHING HAPPENED.
But we cannot reveal it, no, we can't, because-- oh, look at that! Rated T, not M or higher! And someone said something, but we cannot reveal that, either, because-- oh hey, do you smell that? MY MEATLOAF IS BURNING! And what? What? Something's on the ground? But what is it? Well, we cannot reveal that, because-- ahh! Something's under my desk! And a single letter was repeated over and over again, but you'll never know which one it is, because-- hack cough cough cough cough cough. It could've been T, or B, or H-- YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
Never.
Ever.
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Chapter fifteen: A typical ItaSasu, where everyone just happens to like Sasuke, and they repeat the word 'sin' a whole bunch.
Sasuke ran away before Naruto could say anything. He ran into the forest surrounding the lake, and bumped into someone.
He looked up. Oh dang….
"Hey, Itachi." Sasuke grumbled.
Itachi suddenly grabbed Sasuke and pulled him close, their noses touching. "Sasuke, I love you."
Sasuke winced, not liking the close proximity between the two brothers. "Er, yeah, love you, too."
"No, I didn't mean it like that."
"Huh?"
"Not like a brother."
"Oh."
"…"
"OH!" Sasuke, suddenly feeling very stupid, tried to free himself from Itachi's grip. "Eww, that's… sinful."
"I know. I'm a sin."
"Not really, because it's what you did that was sinful, not you."
"But I'm a sin, too."
"Why're you a sin?"
"Because … I dunno."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, slowly nodding. "Okaaay, you're acting kinda … screwed-up."
Itachi spun around, bringing Sasuke with him. Sasuke yelped as he was flipped and widened his eyes at what was in front of him. Everyone was camping, at a clearing of trees. He could see all the genin of his year there.
"You see everyone there?" Itachi asked. "They all like you."
"What? I mean, that's not hard to believe with Sakura and Ino, but not Kakashi."
"Well, he likes you. And you know that kid over there, looking bored?"
"Shikamaru?"
"Yeah, he likes you too."
"Uh, no, he doesn't!"
"And that girl over there? She likes you, too. And that guy over there. And that girl over there. And that squirrel. And that turtle. And that blanket. And that tree. And the sky."
"Itachi, you're high."
"I wouldn't doubt that."
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Chapter sixteen: The amazingly short chapter where it's only, like, six words or whatever, and I think they're not even allowed, but people still do them anyway, for some reason whatsoever.
Sasuke walked into the camp.
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Chapter seventeen: A typical SasuSaku, where it's always the same thing. Watch this.
Sasuke said hi to Shikamaru. Or someone. It's not important who he talks to.
Sakura glanced at Sasuke. She had once loved him, but once she realized he would never love her back, she gave up on him.
After about ten seconds, Sasuke wondered why Sakura wasn't latching onto his arm and asking about a date. He missed her company, and black eyes glanced through the area. Once he found Sakura, who had gone back to talking to Hinata, he just randomly noticed how beautiful she was and started to like her.
After about five seconds, Sakura noticed Sasuke was looking at her and started to like him again. She walked over to him and made out with him.
The end.
(seriously, guys, either make the stories interesting, or shorten it to twenty seconds)
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Chapter eighteen: Where they look up waay too much information on the characters.
Naruto parted two bush braches with his palms, glancing around. He shook his head roughly, then moved to a different bush. He crawled around on the ground, sniffing the dirt. He climbed a tree, sniffing the air.
"Naruto," Naruto peered down from a branch of a tree, to see a confused Itachi. "What the heck are you doing?"
"I smelled and sensed fresh vegetable!" Naruto called. "I hate those things!"
"Really? There's no information about me and my dislikes." Then he whispered, "They want to keep me mysterious and cool." Then he called again. "They didn't even record how tall I was! It says 'unknown' or something."
"Huh, that's weird."
"Yeah, but they've got all the information on Sasuke."
"What about me?"
Sasuke walked in on the two of them, returning from the camping party. He sniffed the air, then broke into a smile. "I smell a fish riceball. I love those things."
Naruto scowled. "What about the fresh vegetables? Can't you smell them?"
"And I smell red bean meatball sweet soup. That's what Sakura likes best." Then he scoffed at the air, flipping his hair. "I'm going on a walk. In case you don't know, that's my hobby."
"Have fun, mister one-hundred-fifty-point-eight centimeters!" Naruto shouted, then slid down from the tree, to land in Uchiha Itachi's open arms.
"Let's go to the camp site." Itachi suggested.
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Chapter nineteen: The chapter that your little brother wrote without your notice
Itachi and Naruto whent to camp. They both saw everyone their and, everyone their saw them. Then suddenly, Itachi farted really loudly. Everyone laughed at him, but Naruto said that was how the guy greeted others. Itachi farted again, this time sooooooooooooooooo loud that all the trees behind him exploded. Pikachu came out of Itachi's fart and attacked everyone with Thunder. But Naruto killed Pikachu. But everyone was still fried and Itachi was still farting.
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Chapter twenty: Where everyone dies by protecting the guy they love. Basically, the Japanese fics.
"Ah! Shikamaru!" Ino cried, running to her teammate's side. She held his hand as she patted his hair with the other. There was blood all over it from the lightning bolt, and it seemed as if part of his skull had exploded. "No, Maru! Don't die on me!"
"Ino…." Chouji breathed behind her. "Look at that damage. He's … obviously gone."
Ino screamed then flung her arms around Shikamaru's neck. "No! How! Why? SHIKAMARU!"
"The only person that could've conjured up a lightning bolt would be Kakashi with Raikiri." Chouji guessed, the thought of an electric-type mouse generated by gas never coming to his mind.
Ino ran to Kakashi in the speed of sound and punched his chest, but Sakura came to block him, getting knocked by Ino's fist to her nose. And with the amazing accuracy and power that was the effect of love, Sakura died.
Kakashi took one glance at Sakura, then Raikiri'd Ino to her death.
Chouji Meat Bullet Tanked Kakashi to his death, but Iruka came in and blocked it.
Kakashi Raikiri'd Chouji to his death.
Asuma threw a kunai at Kakashi's head, resulting to death.
And five minutes later, everyone was dead. Except Naruto and Itachi.
"Hey, I didn't do it this time!" Itachi noticed in surprise, smiling proudly at himself.
