Chapter twenty-one: Fanfic summaries
There are the ones written by people who have obviously never posted a fic before:
1) Er, yeah, tihs is a fanfic … about Sasuke … and Naruto…. Oh, I dunno. I suck at summaries. Just read it!
There are the ones where the author is basically just talking and talking and doesn't really give a lot of information about the fanfic:
2) Hi, guys! This is my first EVER Naruto fic, so please don't be mad at me if it's bad! TT Okay, so basically, it's about Naruto living in the wild like he's some kind-of fox or something. Actually, isn't he a fox? XDDDDDD Oh wait, no, that's the demon inside of him, right? X(((((( I really don't get why the villagers hate him. It just doesn't make any sense! Just come and read my fic, all right? It's a great story, really! lolololololololol!
There are the ones that are just plain trying too hard:
3) The important thing is, the more reviews I get, the more I'll update….
There are the ones where the person really doesn't know how to make a summary:
4)……………… read.
There are the ones that are very vague (these are usually the good ones, actually):
5) A blur of color. Two figures move. What? FIND OUT… yayyyyy!
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Chapter twenty-two: ABd GRammr-tiis
Natruo hiy tIachi onteh hed. Wat"yiu dp this tume/"
"i didnt dp Nythng1'
NAtruo roled ihs eyys. 'yeh,rite,tupiiidddd."
Irachi gkated. "I ahtey ou.'
"yeh, e 2."
"…"
"Eheres sAskeu/"
'light heer, dobaaaayyyyy.'''
Natruo gashpde. "omg, saskuu1 tis trriblee1 wats goinon wit r voices n wrdz/'
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111onehunderedeleven TAICHI SED TIS SOOO WEOWWEDDD
YaL r Al DoRkKz. sAsKuE sCoCdCf.
Ehhehh, naputo hihhled, '00c…………"
n t3h shitnoobiis wir d00md fo ;ife intil teh nect chapiie caimint oexistanec n heple us ut
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Chapter twenty-three: Bad Grammar-itis; where they post the fic/chapter a second time in an attempt to take out all the grammatical errors, yet somehow failed and still some things aren't very clear.
Natuto hit ITachi on teh head. "Wat you do this time?"
"i didnt do anything!"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "yeh, right, stupid."
Irachi glared. "I hate you.'
"yeh, me too."
"…"
"Where's sasuke?"
"Right heer, dobe.'''
Natruo gasped. "Oh, my god, Sasuke! This is terrible! whats going on with our voices annd wordz?'
"OH, MY GOD! Itachi said, "THIS SOOO WEIRD!"
"Ya'll are all dorks." Sasuke scoffed.
"heehee," Naruto giggled, "Out of character…"
And the shinobis were doomed for life. until teh next chapter came into existanec and helped us out.
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Chapter twenty-four: The typical Naruto x Akamaru x Neji x Tsunade x Itachi x Konohamaru x Sasuke x Naruto
Er, this is never going to happen, therefore, no one wants to read these pairings, therefore, I am not even going to make a spoof out of this, since no one would know what I was talking about, anyway. I wouldn't even know what I was talking about, so if you want this, one word: Tough.
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Chapter twenty-five: On second thought, let's try that last idea in a typical soap-opera fanfic that reminds me of Korean dramas.
A loud bark echoed through the forest. All three boys paused and prepared themselves for whatever was going to pop out at them. But it was just a dog: Akamaru.
"Akamaru, baby!" Naruto pounced on him and threw his arms around Akamaru's tiny body. Akamaru wriggled free and pounced on Neji, who came out of the shadows next (for some reason, he wasn't at the camp, Naruto guessed). Naruto glared at Neji, who chose to ignore Akamaru's tight clinging to his leg, and clocked Neji in the nose.
"Neji, how dare you treat Akamaru like that?" Naruto shouted, stomping his foot.
"Now is not the time to be arguing, brother." Neji muttered.
Naruto froze. "B … brother? W … what are you talking about, N … Neji?"
But this was when Tsunade and Konohamaru entered. Everyone ran around in a circle, in a big Midsummer Night's Dream kind-of thing. And this is where you need to make a chart, which you may find in my profile.
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Chapter twenty-six: The Alternate Universe with uniforms and tights
Naruto blinked. He took in the sudden change of scenery around him with hesitation. He was now inside, not outside, in a hallway, no less. The lighting was slightly dim, and the floors were polished. There were water fountains and fire extinguishers and doors all down the hall.
"Okay, now where the heck am I?" Naruto wondered aloud.
"Naruto!" Naruto heard a voice call behind him. "There you are!"
Naruto spun around and almost blanched at the sight of the redhead in front of him. "Gaara!" Then, raising his hands up in fear and turning his head away. "Don't eat me!"
Gaara blinked. "What are you talking about, Naruto? We have to get to Chemistry, quick!"
"Chemistry?" Naruto repeated, lowering his hands. "What's that?"
Gaara sighed and shook his head. "Ah, Naruto … have you been drinking? What do you remember?"
When Naruto said nothing, Gaara sighed again. "Okay, listen carefully. I'm your best friend; we're at Konoha High School, today's Tuesday, which means we have Chemistry. Now."
"Wait, hold up. You're my best friend?"
"Yes. Oooh, and there's Uchiha with his Fanclub."
"Sasuke has a Fanclub? Like, an official club and not just a bunch of crazy girls trampling him?"
"See for yourself."
Naruto turned and saw Sasuke in a uniform and tie (which, Naruto observed, he had on himself) desperately trying to get away from a stampede of girls, all screaming his name and adding a little suffix of 'kun' to the end. Ino was the leader of the pack and was informing Sasuke of their plans for their next meeting and what their club was doing lately. Almost all of them had dark blue shirts on to show their love for the, as they would say, 'ravenette'. All the girls were not normal girls and it was plainly obvious that every girl in that particular school could not be on the same Sanity Level as the typical girl in real life, as was usually the case in a school with Naruto and Sasuke in it.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Gaara said sarcastically, as though Naruto already knew; Naruto seriously didn't know what in the world was going on, "You're British and Uchiha's Japanese."
"What?" Naruto blurted, tearing his eyes off the pack of girls. "How come I'm British?"
"Well, you see, your nationality changes every time. Sometimes you're British, sometimes you're German, and sometimes you're even American." Gaara explained. "It's because you don't have Asian eyes, so people know you're not Asian, but they also know that there might be a thousand different countries that you might be from, so they just pick one. By the way, Sasuke has Asian hair, so people know he's either Japanese (usually Japanese, anyway) or Chinese."
"Well, that's definitely fair." Naruto pouted as Sasuke glared at the girls, half of them fainting because they thought he was absolutely gorgeous. "Whatever the case, there's a chance we're both Nazi's." A second later, as if realizing what he had just suggested, "So not cool."
Naruto stepped towards Sasuke. "Yo! Sasuke!"
Sasuke took one glance at Naruto and made a run for it. Towards Naruto, of course. "DO SOMETHING!" He shouted, grabbing Naruto by the shoulders. Naruto guessed that, unlike Gaara, Sasuke had just been transported here as well and didn't know a thing about what was going on.
Naruto scowled at Sasuke and the girls. "Me? How'm I gonna do something? They probably hate me!"
"Eww! It's that dork Uzumaki!" One of the girls screamed in an amazingly high-pitched voice. Half the girls ran away in disgust; The other half kept running for Sasuke.
"Hey! They do hate you!" Sasuke exclaimed. "Can I use you as a shield?"
"You know, you're probably losing cool points because you're hanging out with a goddamn Scandinavian loser." Naruto mumbled before both of them disappeared.
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Chapter twenty-seven: The Alternate Universe with a cartoon that you have never heard of.
"Oh geez, where are we now?" Naruto muttered, glancing around the desert. It was empty except for cacti and sand and dust and … the sun.
Suddenly both boys heard a voice echoing around them, as if they were in a movie theater with surround sound. The voice was a twelve-year-old black boy, as you could tell by the vocabulary he used. "Dis is a story 'bout me and ma croo …"
"What the hell is this?" Sasuke snapped, scrunching up his nose in disgust.
"… when all of a sudden, all four o' us got sucked into our video game!"
"This is strange." Naruto and Sasuke gasped when they heard the high voice and both swiveled around to see Konohamaru.
"When'd you get here?" Naruto shrieked.
"… collect dese cartridges wid every video game episode on dem… yo…"
"I dunno." Konohamaru shrugged. "I was just transported here when I was running away from Itachi. Where the hell are we?"
"… us, Da Boom Crew."
There was a moment where the theme music that had played in the background the whole time, kept playing. Naruto imagined this was where the actors froze in a martial arts pose to make things more dramatic. He also assumed that the episode of this "Da Boom Crew" would start in moment's time.
And just as he thought, four nine-year-olds came charging in the desert with hovercrafts. They were all black except one huge nerdy-looking boy, who was white.
"Wow," Sasuke muttered. "How racist is this show?"
"Do you imagine this is why they cancelled it after airing only four episodes?" Naruto said.
The four kids stopped their hovercrafts in front of the ninjas and leaped off onto the sandy ground. They pointed weapons at the ninjas and a skinny black guy (probably the main character, Naruto guessed) spoke to them.
"Are ya'll Zork?"
In one second, the ninjas all glanced at each other. In another, they were rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off. Who knew what a 'Zork' was? Naruto definitely didn't. Even if it meant something very important, the word was just too funny.
"All right, we're out of here." Konohamaru said, still smiling from laughter. He lifted his hand in the air and snapped. They all waited for them to be transported into another world. They didn't.
"It's not working." Naruto stated, glaring at Konohamaru.
Sasuke said, "You know, it's probably gonna work in the middle of a sen--"
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Chapter twenty-eight: The Alternate Universe with the exact same plot and story as something else we're all familiar with, just with different characters. (It doesn't just have to be with this theme, too)
After several great flashes of light and scenery, the ninjas were in a giant castle with an illusion ceiling that showed the weather outside to be dark and full of stars. Kids in robes all around them were all eating deliciously displayed food on the tables, and the ninjas were all surprised to find that the ninjas themselves were wearing the same exact robes.
"Uchiha Sasuke!" The three turned to see a seventeen-year-old standing just behind Sasuke. He grabbed the raven-haired boy's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "A most wondrous honor to meet you, sir."
"Uh, yeah." Sasuke stuttered, blinking. "You, too."
Naruto took one long, hard stare at the elder, then blurted to Sasuke, "What the hell's this guy talking 'bout?"
Before Sasuke could shrug, the seventh-year's eyes went wide and he shouted, "You don't know? This man killed Orochi-- I mean, He-who-must-not-be-named! He was chosen by the Fourth Hokage himself to be on the Hidden Leaf house. And you, Uzumaki Naruto, are a poor, red-haired loser with six siblings." Just as he said that, Naruto's sun-kissed locks transformed into a deep shade of red.
Ignoring Naruto's cry of dismay, the teen turned to Konohamaru, who, in fact, was very frightened of the sudden change of plot. "And you, Konohamaru … are a girl."
Konohamaru's hair became long and … ugly. And he felt something go missing.
Sasuke, glancing from the red-haired-Naruto to the girl-Konohamaru, smirked. "This is … flippin' awesome. Now, if only I could get Akamaru to turn into a half-eagle, half-horse, and Gaara into an annoying little eleven-year-old with an obsession for cameras, that'd be way cooler."
"Don't even think about it, Sasuke." Naruto demanded, glaring at Sasuke's now-green eyes.
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Chapter twenty-nine: The Alternate Universe with the modern day computer
Naruto blinked. For the third time that day, he was transported by some unknown force. He was all alone in a room. A lone object was giving the room light and it was, on the stone floor, a laptop.
He saw a thin window of names off to the side of the screen. Peering at the title, he found his own username, which happened to be Ramen12.
"Well, d'uh." Naruto whispered, rolling his eyes, "What else would I expect?"
Suddenly the sound effect of a creaking door filled the room, and, glancing back to the screen, his brilliant blue eyes saw a single username appear on his buddy list: ChidoriAvenger. Naruto right-clicked his new friend's name and picked out the profile. A new window popped up, displaying information that would reveal this man's identity:
Itachi, you bastard, I'm gonna get you. And nothing will stop me. Not even Naruto (that is, if he ever beats me in strength). I'll avenge my clan and kill you, you lazy son of a--
"Yup, that's definitely Sasuke." Naruto decided, nodding proudly.
But before he could even double-click Sasuke's username, another name came up on the list: iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1.
"Oh, my god." Naruto sighed. "Newbies."
Changing his mind, the blonde double-clicked the new screen name and quickly typed in a message for his admirer:
Ramen12: konohamaru! hows it going man?
After awaiting ten seconds, he got an unexpected response:
iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1: shut up Naruto! Im cybering this chick!
And, with the sound effect of a door shutting, iwillbeocmehokageMUAHAHAHA!1 signed off. Naruto, sniffing, whimpered, "He blocked me."
Going back to his original plan, he talked to Sasuke.
Ramen12: sasuke sup
ChidoriAvenger: Oh, hello, Naruto.
Ramen12: my floor is stone
ChidoriAvenger: really? I've got carpet over here. Red carpet. In my living room mansion.
Ramen12: i really hate you you know tat
ChidoriAvenger: I'm guessing you live in a box? A stone box?
Naruto chose not to answer to that one and was rewarded with a strange word.
ChidoriAvenger: ROFLMFAO.
He chose not to answer to that, either.
Ramen12: how r we gonna get outta this one
ChidoriAvenger: we're not. I'm staying where I am.
Ramen12: well Im not!
ChidoriAvenger: Oh, right. Box-liver.
"Oh, shut up, you--!" Naruto screamed, but cut himself off once he saw that word again.
ChidoriAvenger: roflmfao.
Ramen12: wat exactly is that sposed to mean
ChidoriAvenger: I'll tell you once we get back home.
Ramen12: oh, ou just wait sasuke. you aint seen nothin yet.
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Chapter thirty: So many swear/cuss/curse/whatever words, that it's almost impossible to read it. (every swear will be replaced with a friendly word with the exact same amount of letters and part of speech as the real word, placed in bold text)
With a twirl and a spin, Naruto was back at the lake, where he saw that the others who were chasing each other, had left. Not too long after he vaporized to the spot, Sasuke followed by Konohamaru came spinning in the scene.
Naruto stormed up to Sasuke and shouted in his pale face, "You worried tuesday! I'm going to worried kill you!"
Sasuke gave Naruto his most powerful death glare. "What the love are you worried talking about?"
"Love you!" Naruto let his rage take control. "Love you, like you, and walk you, you little october!"
"'Walk you' doesn't make any sense," Konohamaru peeped.
Naruto just stood and stared at Konohamaru for a minute, then, realizing what he had said, pouted. "Walk! You're worried right! 'Walk you' doesn't make any sense! Walk!"
"Like, Naruto." Sasuke sighed, in an almost I'm-better-than-you way. "I worried can't worried believe worried you're worried such worried a worried stu-worried-pidsun."
"Love you!"
