Chapter thirty-one: One big giant author note at the beginning of a chapter
Hey guys! Wazzup? Thanks a million for those reviews that you gave me! I loved them, I loved them, I absolutely adored them! You know, I was thinking yesterday, maybe I could just end the fic there, right, at step three? Huh? No? Yeah, my reviewers would probably chase me around with torches until I changed my mind. shudder kinda scary to think about, actually.
Okay, so, sorry about the long hiatus for step three. I know there was a big gap in between those two, and I'll try better next time, okay? Really, I will. What, you don't believe me? You don't believe that I'll try better next time?
Oh, you want me to prove it to you?
All right, how about for every chapter I write, I'll give you a-- OH MY GOD, IS THAT A BLUE JAY? ME HAVE TO GO CATCH IT!
Sorry, I love Blue Jays. And it was in my yard, too! Oh, geez!
Okay, what was I saying? Oh, you don't care! You just want the fic to start, right? Well then, go on! Vamos!
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Chapter thirty-two: Naruto oblivious, dumb blonde, everyone else likes Naruto
Sasuke blinked and eyed Naruto, up and down his body. Konohamaru just ran up to him and pounced on the blonde, tackling him to the ground. Naruto released an 'oof!', before trying to latch Konohamaru's arms off his neck.
"Konohamaru, man! What do you think you're doing?" Naruto blurted, finally getting a breath as he pulled desperately at the arms.
"Naruto-kun, I love you!" Konohamaru chirped, before tightening his grasp.
Sasuke looked on with envy.
Neji, Tsunade, and Itachi all came out of the blue and pounced on Naruto in the same fashion that Konohamaru had done. Naruto gasped and tried to struggle free from all their grasps, but to no avail.
Sasuke looked on with envy.
"We all love you, Naruto!" Tsunade chirped.
"What?" Naruto gasped.
"We all love you!"
"Sorry, I blanked out there for a sec." Naruto asked.
"We. Love. You."
"Come again?"
Finally managing to get away from all the strange people who had suddenly changed in a period of twenty minutes, Naruto ran far, far away. He ran until he met the city, ignoring the glares and shoves from the villagers. When he reached the door to his apartment, Naruto ran head-first into his twin bed, burying his head into the pillow.
"That was too scary." Naruto whispered.
Sasuke looked on with envy. Sort-of.
Suddenly, a knock on the door echoed throughout the entire apartment. Naruto groaned and dragged himself out of bed and to the door. Naruto opened the door, staring at the person before him. His eyes lit up when he saw who it was.
"Hey, Naruto." Sakura exclaimed, glancing around in Naruto's apartment. "Is Sasuke here? And if he's not, do you know where he is?"
Naruto didn't answer immediately. Instead, he took to staring and admiring the one he liked so much. "Wait, how come you … I thought you were dead."
"Huh?" Sakura blinked and stared back at Naruto.
"Weren't you dead just a second ago?"
"What're you talking about?"
"I thought you were."
"You thought I was what?"
"Dead."
"Pardon?"
"Oh, never mind." Naruto sighed. Sometimes, girls could be such a pain. "What did you want?"
"Do you know where Sasuke is?" Sakura repeated slowly, a little glare in her green eyes.
Naruto nodded behind her. "Right there."
Sakura turned around, and sure enough, there was Uchiha Sasuke, in all his glaring and moody glory.
Sakura squealed and gave Naruto a big hug around the neck. "Thanks, Naruto! You're a big help!" Naruto couldn't help but turn red, from the tip of his ears, to the point of his nose.
Sasuke looked on with envy.
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Chapter thirty-three: Where do all Naruto fics take place in the timeline of Naruto's life? When Sasuke leaves for Orochimaru. (basically filled with descriptions on how much Sasuke changed)
Naruto glared at the man he hadn't seen in so long, the man who had left for power, left behind friendship, love, anything that showed even the slightest bit of care. The man he hated but couldn't bring himself to hate. How could he forget all the teasing, the fighting, the interminable rivalry that all seemed like it happened just yesterday?
All it took was one trip to Orochimaru. One could change in a matter of seconds, of chapters. Chapters of their lives, of course. Not of some … fanfic.
"What are you doing here, traitor?" Naruto spat.
Sasuke shrugged. He looked older since the last time Naruto saw him, though Naruto could've sworn Sasuke couldn't age that much in the time span of a chapter; his skin was amazingly paler and his hair was almost-impossibly darker. Every muscle in his was body accented. His ears had gotten smaller. His eyes were more alert, more sharp. His thumbs had gotten more calloused from vigorous training every day. His index finger was the same. And the same with the middle finger, the ring finger, the pinky….
His nose … no, just kidding, his nose was the same.
"Just decided I'd visit." Sasuke mumbled. Even his voice had matured. He must have finally gone through puberty!
"What, not even gonna bother to fight me?" Naruto said loudly, clearly, cocking his head to his side. Even if Sasuke changed so much, Naruto was still the same old Naruto: Spunky, animated (well, literally, too), blonde and blue eyes, the same old Hokage dream. "Chicken wuss!"
Sasuke turned around smoothly, his suddenly-materialized black cape fluttering and whispering. Sasuke had gotten cooler, too. "Don't wanna fight." Sasuke whispered, so soft, so shy. And in that split second, Naruto captured a glimpse of the old Sasuke (where had it gone, anyway?). Sasuke was not a stranger in that split second, and Naruto couldn't understand why. The two boys were supposed to be enemies now; so why didn't Sasuke steal a kick to Naruto's head?
He still cares. Naruto gasped. That's what it is.
He cared more than he did when he wasn't a traitor, when he was still part of Team Seven. Naruto remembered what Sasuke was like when he was still part of Team Seven-- how his skin wasn't so pale, but still very pale; how his hair wasn't so dark, but still so very dark, indeed. He remembered how every muscle in his body wasn't so accented. His ears were bigger, his eyes less alert. His thumbs weren't so calloused. His index middle, ring, and pinky fingers were the same as the thumb….
His nose … nah.
It was then that Naruto realized how much Sasuke had changed over time.
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Chapter thirty-four: A typical one-shot. This time, it will be ShikaIno, since some reviewers didn't like the yaoi relationships, and everyone likes ShikaIno, right?
Shikamaru had always liked Ino. Ever since he had first lain eyes on her, he couldn't get over how beautiful she was. It was after eleven years of liking her that he finally made an attempt to have her.
He had kissed her.
Ino had run away, as expected. Shikamaru sighed in defeat.
--
Ino was sitting on the roof of her house, head buried in her crossed arms on her knees. She didn't have a clue why Shikamaru had kissed her It wasn't as if he liked her. He always thought she was an annoying, loud brat that obsessed over Sasuke, right? Right?
It was then that she figured it out.
Shikamaru liked her.
SUDDENLY she decided she liked him too and a smile grew on her face when she realized someone finally liked her that she liked back-- no she didn't like him she loved him with all her heart, every single inch of it and she jumped down from the roof of her house and ran all the way back to where Shikamaru had kissed her and was surprised that he was still there and she skidded to a halt right in front of the Master of Shadows and said in one breathless voice--
"Aishiteru, koi." Ino panted, clutching her torso, because all the sudden events, conclusions, and run-on sentences made her sick to the stomach.
Shikamaru smiled. "Aishiteru."
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Chapter thirty-five: An author note in the middle of the frickin' story
Hey, all you readers! I just wanted to say, I'm soooooo sorry that I haven't been writing recently! You know, final exams are coming up, and all that jazz. O.O Plus, KH2 and Advent Children are both out, so I'm takin' my time with those! Oh, and thank you sooo much for those of you who keep reviewing! I wub you all! TT
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Chapter thirty-six: Where there's so much history with the characters, it's hard to keep up.
"Long time, no see." Sasuke muttered to Naruto, holding out a hand. He gave the blonde a strange smile, a hidden meaning or message behind it. Naruto remained glued to the spot, glaring at Sasuke.
Sakura glanced between the two, not understanding what was going on.
"You monster." Naruto breathed, his glare fiery than ever. "How could you even show your face here? After everything you did to her!"
"Who?" Sakura asked.
Sasuke ran a hand through his dark hair which just pissed Naruto even more, though Sakura couldn't understand why. "I didn't do anything to her, Naruto. She was a toy, a puppet. She had no heart."
"YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST SHE STILL HAD A CONSCIENCE!" Naruto yelled.
Silence. "I have a conscience, Naruto. If I didn't, why would I be here? For you?" Here, Sasuke chuckled like a video game character, his shoulders bouncing up and down. "Heh heh, Naruto. He's the only reason I'm here."
"Who?" Sakura demanded.
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What do you want with him?"
"Who's he?" Sakura shouted.
Sasuke's face remained calm. "Everything."
"What?" Sakura shrieked.
"You can't change him Sasuke!"
"Change who?"
"Why not? I changed her, so why would it be any different with--"
"Who're you talking abou--"
"It's completely different, Sasuke! You keep thinking they're the same person because of their DNA, but now that you've killed one of them, the other's got a slight flaw in his genes that you made!"
"What's going-- Hey, Naruto, I didn't know you knew genetics!"
"That's my point! Because of their bloodline, their DNA is connected to their memory! That's why I killed her, and that's why I need him! To attach their souls to it!"
"What?"
"Sasuke, stop it!"
"What?"
"Don't tell me what to do, Naruto!"
"Wh-- SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUP! Please! Now! Thank you."
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Chapter thirty-seven: A fic told by two authors. The following is never successful and tends to drag out a bit.
Sasuke and Naruto stopped in mid rant to turn their gaze to the Sasuke they had forgotten about. How they could forget about their teammate like that, the blonde didn't know. Immediately, he felt deep regret hit his chest like a spear, and dropped to his knees to apologize.
--
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto-kun hugged Sakura-chan's knees. Sakura-chan was HAPPY! Yayyyy! "Sakura-chan, please! Don't be mad! i don't like it when your mad!" Sakura-chan said it was okay, "It's okay, Naruto-kun." "Thanks"
--
The demon-vessel stood up, recollecting himself. Sakura was giving him a strange look, but Naruto decided to ignore it. Who understood girls, anyway? He turned around to face Sasuke, shooting a glare at him for what he had done in the past.
--
Meanwhile, all the way back to forest, Akamaru-koi learned to FLLYYYY! Yaaaaaayyyyy! Everyone was so happy that he could do such a thing it was marvelous. Meanwhile, all the way back to where we were before, Naruto-kun ran up to Sasuke-kun with very little steps.
--
Why he took little steps, Naruto didn't know. Perhaps it was because he wanted to stall. Yes, that was it. To encounter his dark, mysterious friend was indeed a task he did not want to do. Especially after everything they'd been through.
--
BUT NARUTO-KUN TRIPPED! YAAAAYYYY!
--
Sasuke sniffled a chuckle. "You are such a klutz." He laughed, while Naruto's brilliant blue eyes glared at him once more. "Oh, and stop repeating that 'yay' in your head. It's getting annoying."
"What, how can you read my mind?"
"New jutsu."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Of course."
--
Naruto-kun was happy for his friend-- or ex-friend-- for learning a new juusto yaaayyyyyy!
--
"Stop it!" Sasuke ordered.
--
YAAAYYYY!
--
"SHUT UP!"
--
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
--
-Fin
A/N: We apologize-- or I apologize-- for the end of this fic that had just begun. I just can't take it anymore; BlackCello can't SHUT UP. I thought she could write after that fluffy drabble she wrote, but it seems she is incapable of doing the least bit so. Once again, I apologize.
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Chapter thirty-eight: A poem fic, where you just want the story to continue, but noo: a stupid poem has to block your way and turn it into an obstacle! (oh, and the poem sucks, too)
Give me strength;
Let me up into the sky.
The whole, the length,
Has
to try
it.
Naruto got up from his sprawled position on the floor. He walked over to Sasuke and opened his mouth to say something--
What do I do now?
What shall I say?
Is it in thou?
Is the answer in mé?
"Let's just … forget about the whole thing." Naruto uttered, making a 'cancel' sign with his hands. "Okay?"
Sasuke glanced behind the blonde at Sakura. Sure, he didn't want to talk about this in front of her, but they still needed to--
Wow, I like ice cream,
I like interrupting.
I like to dream.
And I especially, extremely like corrupting
LAZER BEAMS!
--talk about it. This was important. The raven-haired boy had killed; how could they just let that slide?
Sasuke frowned. "Naruto, we've--"
What do I do now?
What shall I say?
Is it in thou?
Is the answer in mé?
"--gotta talk."
Naruto made a choking noise, pointing at Sakura with his eyes, the irises jerking sideways, then glancing back at Sasuke. What are you thinking? Did you--
One more time?
--forget about Sakura, or something?
"Listen, Sasuke." Naruto sighed in a concluding tone. "We can talk about this later. Just--"
What do I do now?
What shall I say?
Is it in thou?
Is the answer in mé?
"-- not--"
What do I do now?
What shall I say?
Is it in thou?
Is the answer in mé?
"--right--"
What do I do now?
What shall I say?
Is it in thou?
Is the answer in mé?
"--now."
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Chapter thirty-nine: A different theme of occupation that changes the characters almost completely
Naruto grinned and turned to Sakura. "Sasuke and I are good."
Suddenly around the corner, a robot twice the size of Naruto came hovering towards them. The robot had lines of buttons trailing all the way down to its legs. All eyes were glued to the unusual display, wondering what was going on.
It beeped, lights on his body flashing as it spoke. "If you press a button, you may change you body." The buttons lining itself lit up.
Sakura did need a body change. If it would be as easy as a press of a button to lose ten pounds, she'd do it. Sakura confidently walked over to the robot.
"Hey, there aren't pictures to show which button does what." Sakura whined, frowning.
The robot said nothing.
Shrugging, she pushed a button in the middle and waited for something to happen. The robot's eyes turned bright red, gleaming down at them with hunger. The three of them barely had time to gasp before they all were blasted with a laser beam from the robot's eyes.
Instead of getting thinner, she became smaller. She was floating in the air; something had grown out of her back. She was shrinking fast.
Green eyes snapped open. They widened a fraction when the sight of Naruto and Sasuke met her gaze.
"We're FAIRIES!" Naruto screamed in horror, twirling around in the air, his eyes set on the wings on his back.
"Teehee!" Sasuke giggled, his hands clasped and his leg bent. "This is soooo cuuuute!"
Sakura flew over to the robot. "Well, all we have to do is press another button."
Naruto screamed. "NO, DON--"
A blinding flash interrupted him. Their forms grew normal sized, but they felt their canines growing uncomfortably long.
"Vampires!" Naruto screeched.
Sasuke hissed. "Naruto! Come hither. I must suck your blood!"
Sakura shrieked and pressed another button.
Pirates. Sasuke had an eye-patch and waved a machete above his head. "Give me all yer loot!"
Dinosaurs. Sasuke roared as a T-rex over Sakura's stegosaurus form.
Mice. Sasuke's paws were up to his chest and his nose quivered. "Cheese!"
Sakura started wailing. After a loud cackle, the robot disappeared.
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Chapter forty: A parody of a parody
Tom had always been isolated from the others. He would always just sit on the swing while everyone else was playing outside with their friends.
But there was a reason for the isolation. You wanna know what it was?
He had a beaver inside his stomach.
Tom had his share of problems, but they were almost as big of an issue to him as Jason's were to himself. His whole family had left him; and not the 'left him' that meant 'went away on a vacation', but the bad 'left him'. The one that meant they, basically, DIED.
Jason's family was famous for making contact lenses. They would make ordinary ones, color ones, star ones, every single design or idea you had, they had it. Their most famous one was red and had coma-like things spinning around your pupil, the Hikarazimashisalafutoranituzhita. But his brother, Zell, had invented a more descriptive Hikarazimashisalafutoranituzhita, one that looked like a pinwheel with veins coming out of the iris. Everyone thought it looked weird and swore that if he wore it again, they would all commit suicide. Two days later, Zell gathered all of Jason's family in the living room and put on his contacts for everyone to see. As soon as this happened, each member of the family took out a knife and stabbed themselves.
Except Jason, obviously.
Zell told Jason to hate him for doing this. But Jason didn't understand why he said that, because he already did hate him. It was stupid.
